Constance left the studio feeling lower than a rattlesnake’s belly.
Heat shimmered on the station’s blacktop lot, rolling in iridescent waves. The building next door was having the roof retarred, so what little air stirred was hardly fit to breathe. Worsening matters was tooth-jarring jackhammering from the road crew outside the station’s front door.
Zigzagging through the alley lot that was shared with a half-dozen other businesses, she reasoned that, looking on the bright side, who needed air or teeth? At the rate her personal and professional lives were plummeting, if she didn’t need to provide for Lindsay’s care, Constance would’ve long since collapsed on some shrink’s couch.
Pausing at the trunk of her Civic to fish keys from her purse, she snagged them on a surprise piece of gum that’d been hiding on the bottom, when the roar of a car speeding up behind her made her jump.
She spun around, only to put her hand to her chest. “Garret?”
“Great. I caught you.” He sat behind the wheel of his mother’s Caddie, looking far too handsome for his own good. “Just in time, from the looks of it.” His weak smile left her unsure as to his mood. Pensive? Mildly happy? Who knew. She used to know the meanings behind his facial expressions better than her own. Now…he was stranger.
“In time for what?” she asked with an enigmatic smile of her own.
“Hop in. This may take a while and it’s too hot to hang out here.”
“I don’t know….” She eyed him, the car’s confined space. Granted, a Caddie beat the heck out of her car for legroom, but still. With their kiss all too fresh in her memory, sharing a front seat with the guy hardly seemed prudent.
Worse yet, what could he possibly want to discuss that would take a while?
“Come on,” he urged. “Climb in. You’re wasting gas.”
“I have to be home by four to meet Lindsay’s school bus.”
“And right now,” he said with a glance at a black, high-tech watch, “it’s 2:45. Promise, I’ll have you back to your ride in plenty of time to beat her home.”
“It’s not just that,” she said, shifting her weight from one leg to the other. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea that we talk. You know…” Flailing her free hand at her waist, she gazed at the sky rather than his direct stare.
“You owe me this much, Connie. Please.”
He was right.
Nodding, swallowing a wall of fear, she straightened her shoulders, then somehow made it on quaking knees to the passenger side of the car.
The AC blasted deliciously cool air at her flushed cheeks and throat. Sitting this close to the man who had once been her world, she felt scandalously underdressed in her sleeveless, scoop-necked ivory sundress. As if despite the heat, she’d be better off in a turtleneck and parka. Wearing so little didn’t just leave her body exposed, but so much more.
She wiped damp palms against her thighs.
“Nervous?” he asked, putting the car in gear, then gliding across the lot.
“A little. Where are we going?”
“Mindy’s.”
“The drive-in?” How many times had they been there back in high school, fishing change from the backseat of her car or his truck’s ashtray for a burger and malt?
“Yeah. If that’s okay?”
“Sure.” He was asking her permission? After the icy meeting between him and Nathan, Constance could hardly believe Garret was speaking to her, let alone seeking her approval.
“I can’t even count how many years it’s been since I’ve had a chocolate malt.”
“Me, too.” Fastening her seat belt, careful to sit straight in the sumptuous leather seat, she tried focusing on anything but him. Anything but his strong hands gripping the wheel. The way those hands used to hold her…love her. Whew.
At the restaurant, a carhop took their order of two malts, then skated back inside.
Her companion cleared his throat, filling her with dread. Oh no, here it came. Whatever it was. “First, I have to admit to listening in on your show today. It was a train wreck.”
“Thanks,” she said without a trace of a smile.
“I didn’t mean it was technically bad, but in other ways.”
“Which no doubt made your day?” Removing her seat belt, the metallic click deafening in the otherwise quiet car, she angled away from him to face the window.
“Hey… Sorry. That didn’t come out the way I meant. And for the record. No. I didn’t feel remotely good about your show tanking. More in the realm of me having been an ass.”
His admission rocked her.
“Not that I’m in any way prepared to forget what went down between us, but my life’s work has been about rescuing people in need, and you, Constance Price, are in definite need of saving.”
True.
As much as she hated that he had recognized the fact, she hated worse being in the position. She was a strong, capable woman. She didn’t want to need Garret’s help.
“That said, for as long as I’m in town, I’ll help with the show.”
Stunned, she sat there stone silent, squelching the crazy urge to leap across the seat and crush him in a hug.
“Well? Doesn’t this merit at least a thank-you?”
“Of course,” she said, eyes focused on her hands, tightly clasped on her lap. “Words can’t describe how grateful I’d be for your help….”
“But…” He motioned her on.
“I guess I just—” Sharply exhaling, she blurted, “How is this supposed to work? I mean, logistically. Obviously, you can’t stand the sight of me. Not that I blame you, but—”
“Stop.”
“What?”
“Blabbering. Connie…” He sighed. Thumped the wheel with his palm. “Look, it’s true that there are about a million reasons why I’d rather be anywhere than crammed into a broadcast booth with you every day from noon till two-thirty. But the fact is you need my help and that’s what I do. Help. Be it a kid, woman or country.”
“But Nathan, what—”
“Nathan’s a big boy, he can take care of himself. I’m not sure when, but rest assured, he and I will have words.”
“But, Garret, he—”
“Stow it. When it comes to him—” He slashed his fingers through his hair. “Time to revert back to that old ‘if you don’t have anything nice to say, keep quiet’ rule.”
“He’s a good man, Garret. Really. He offers me—Lindsay—money all the time. I turn him down.”
Angling on the seat to face her, he asked, “Why? Why do such an asinine thing when you obviously could use more than a few bucks?”
“I don’t know,” she said with a fierce shake of her head. “Pride, I guess.” It was hardly fair to make Nathan pay for a child he’d had no part of bringing into the world.
“But Nathan’s Lindsay’s father. Your ex. There’s nothing wrong in accepting what’s rightfully yours. And especially Lindsay’s. Talk to him, Connie.”
“I have. Just like I told you, I’ve told him. I don’t want his, or anyone else’s, money. Lindsay and I have made it just fine on our own all these years and—”
Constance jumped when the carhop knocked on the window. Garret had left the car running with the windows up to preserve the blessed AC.
While Garret fished money from his wallet to pay for the drinks, Constance tried to stop her spinning thoughts. Though she didn’t deserve his help, Garret had come to her, open-armed, ready to serve. He was a hero in every sense of the word, offering to come charging to her rescue, making her the worst kind of scum. Nathan was right. Had been right. Garret deserved to know the truth. And she’d tell him. Someday. Soon. Just not now. Later. Once she’d found the nerve.
“Wow,” he said after paying the teen, sipping his malt while passing Constance hers. “These are even better than I remembered. If I still lived here, I’d have to have one every day.”
The horror! If he still lived in Mule Shoe, she’d have to be fitted for a straitjacket!
Or, you could tell him everything, then let the chips fall where they may… She scowled.
“You all right?” he asked. “You haven’t taken a sip.”
She did. Faked euphoric frozen-dairy joy. “Yum.”
He rolled his eyes. “It might’ve been ten years since I’ve last seen you, but I remember that tone. Spill it.”
“What?”
“Whatever’s obviously on your mind. I would think you’d be grateful I’ve agreed to do the show, but truthfully, you look terrified. You’re not afraid I’ll make a mess of it, are you?”
“No,” she said, slurping hard enough to bring on a paralyzing brain freeze. “I have total faith in you. And in case I didn’t express it enough earlier, thank you. A million times over, thank you.”
Throwing caution to the wind, she set her malt in the center console’s drink holder, then hugged him.
“You’re welcome,” he said, awkwardly patting her back while she clung to him. He felt so good. Strong. Like he could take on the world. Why hadn’t she told him the truth when she’d first found out she was pregnant? Maybe he wouldn’t have had to give up his dream. She’d then have a real husband. Lindsay, a real dad. They could have been a happy family. At least they could’ve been if she hadn’t thrown it all away.
Easing back, he added, “I’m helping you, but that doesn’t mean you’re off the hook. One night—soon—we’ve got to talk. Really talk.” He looked down, breaking her heart by the crack in his voice. “This isn’t easy to admit, but seeing you again brought all the pain back. For years, I’ve buried myself in work, telling myself what you and Nathan did didn’t matter. I was over it. But…”
His wounded, naked expression hurt way worse than any of her own pain. She’d done this. And for what? At the time, back when she’d been seventeen and thought she’d known more than anyone in the world, she’d believed in her decision. She’d believed keeping her pregnancy secret wasn’t just right for Garret but herself and her unborn child. She’d felt as if she’d done him a huge favor. Now…she felt empty. “I—I’m sorry,” she said, her voice a raspy whisper. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“Then why?” Angling to face her, he reached for her hands. “Why, Connie, did you marry Nathan? I wasn’t going to get into this now, but it’s burning me up inside. I just have to hear it from your lips. You know, the same lips that kissed him, made love to him. My supposed best friend.” He snorted. “I have to know what you found in him that was lacking in me.”
Nodding, silently crying, she wanted so badly to cleanse herself with truth. She wanted to, so what was stopping her?
“Tell me,” he pressed, not backing down.
“Nothing. It was just one stupid night, okay?”
“When?” Garret demanded, never having felt so out of his mind with frustration. He’d thought simply offering to help her would in turn help him deal with his feelings, but he’d been wrong. On so many levels. Most of all, that he’d never gotten over her. He still wanted her, even though he also despised her. “I need details, Connie. How long had you two been going out behind my back? Were you sleeping with him at the same time as me? If so, how do you know Lindsay’s even his?”
Wide-eyed, shaking her head, she said, “I know she’s his because I know.”
“Not good enough.” He tapped her temple. “For my own sanity, I need to know exactly what was going through your head.” Holding her chin, running his thumb roughly over her lips, he said, “I have to know the precise moment you stopped loving me and started loving him.”
“Why?” she cried. “It’s in the past. Why can’t we leave it there?”
“Why?” He laughed. “Hell if I know. Trouble is, ever since landing back in this one-horse town, ever since listening to that smoke-sexy voice of yours day after friggin’ day, I’m consumed with you. God, listen to me. I sound like some crazed stalker.”
“No,” she said. “You sound normal. Like a man who’s been betrayed.”
“Well?” he prompted. “Seeing how you did the betraying, couldn’t you now at least give me what I want? A few simple answers?”
“You don’t know what you’re asking,” she said, refusing to meet his gaze. “It wasn’t like you think.”
“Then correct me. Tell me how it was. Was it the money luring you to him?”
“No.”
“Then what?”
Sighing, tears sliding into her mouth, she sniffled. “I never, ever, loved him like I love you.”
“Love? As in present tense?”
“That came out wrong. You know what I mean. Since you won’t let it go, I think, I don’t know… Maybe I turned to him—we turned to each other—out of missing you.”
“Before I’d even gone? Thanks.”
“You asked. I’m sorry. You’ll never know how sorry, I—” Hands on his good thigh, her earnest touch took him to a new low. “You have to believe me. What I—we—did, was never meant to hurt you. It just…happened.” Meeting her red-rimmed stare, for a second, he almost believed her. Almost. But how could he when the truth was in his face? Those eyes of hers were also Lindsay’s eyes. She and Nathan had made a child together. Women knew who the fathers of their babies were. Garret knew that suggesting he was Lindsay’s father was grasping at straws. For what? To hold on to something that was apparently never his?
“I should get you back to the station. I’ve already kept you longer than I’d planned.”
“It’s okay,” she said. “It’s good we cleared the air.”