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I woke to a darkened room, disoriented. It took me a second to place where I was, and another to realize I was alone. Valerie was no longer in my arms like she had been when we fell asleep. I turned to the chair, expecting to see her curled on the cushion, but it was empty and my heart skipped and proceeded to pound in my throat.
Pressure pushed down on my chest and I glanced at the door. The lock wasn’t engaged and I slid out of bed, unsure of which direction to go. My body made the choice for me when the sudden urge to piss overshadowed my desire to find Valerie. I headed toward the bathroom and relieved myself like Valerie had instructed last night. Before starting my search, I brushed my teeth and ran the comb through my unruly hair, putting it in some semblance of order. My gaze dropped to the medallion and I ran my fingers over the black and red star, before meeting my own gaze. I studied my reflection, not finding any noticeable scar on my face or chest that would warrant dropping into the black for two years. With a shake of my head, I turned, collecting my pants off the floor and put them on before I ventured beyond the only environment I had a memory of.
Hesitation stalled my muscles as I opened the door to a brightly lit hallway. Quiet permeated the floor but I could hear soft voices in the distance. I just wasn’t sure which way they were coming from. I ducked my head out, looking both ways for a sign of where she would have gone. Given the choice of two non-distinct directions, I turned to my right, studying the symbols on the doors and the brightly colored lines on the floor. Artwork spackled the walls, most drawings by young hands and I smiled as I passed a collection that reminded me of Grace’s art.
The voice grew as I got closer to where the hall opened up to a bright area. A collection of nurses stood behind a desk on the left side of the atrium watching as a candy striper read to a group of children. I leaned on the entryway, listening to the story as the girl read. Halfway through the next page, she glanced up and her voice faltered as her gaze fell on me.
Some of the children looked over their shoulder at me, their heads in varying states of hair loss or covered with hats. Those that saw me turned back when the girl continued the story. To the right of the entrance was a large object that I couldn’t find the right word for and in front of it sat a small bench. I crossed and took a seat, still able to see the girl, but my gaze dropped to the black and white ivory keys in front of me.
One of the children in the back got up and crossed to where I sat. She leaned on the edge or the instrument and asked, “Do you play?”
“I d...don...t know.” My speech was still a crap shoot and I offered a half hearted shrug. “Wha...at is i...it?”
“It’s a piano,” she said and shooed me aside.
I moved, giving her space on the bench and watched her place her thin fingers on the keys. “This is middle C,” she said and pressed the note. I grinned at the melody of that one note and then she enthralled me more by playing a progression up and down the scale for me.
“My mom used to make me practice all the time,” she said and ran through the scales and then pulled her fingers away and stared at me. “What’s wrong with you?”
I shrugged and tapped my head. “No mem...m...or...y.” Instead of trying to articulate the same question, I pointed at her and raised my eyebrows.
“Cancer,” she said. “They think the chemo will help this time.”
“I ho...pe so.”
“Thank you, I gotta get back,” she said and slid off the bench just as the girl closed the book.
My gaze dropped to the piano keys and I placed my fingers on them, closing my eyes. My fingers moved of their own accord, filling the atrium with the slow cadence of music. I played the tune and then repeated it. Words flowed in time with the melody, softly at first and then drifting over the children. When I got to the chorus, more voices than my own joined me, singing Hallelujah and I opened my eyes.
I didn’t know where the words or the music were coming from, but I had no stutter and the rapt attention of everyone in the vicinity made me smile. I slid my gaze to the entryway that I had come from and Valerie stood in the center with cups in her hands and her mouth open in surprise.
The children and some adults came closer. I continued, even as a rash of gooseflesh crawled up my arms and before long, everyone was singing with me. The rush of it created a heat in my cheeks and when I finished, silence blanketed the room for a minute before the clapping started.
I stared at my hands and then the people prompting me to play something else. Even the little girl who had told me this was a piano was egging me on. I glanced at Valerie and her paralysis broke. She crossed the distance.
“Okay, kids, Chris needs to go back to his room now,” she said and eyes turned to her.
“But Dr. Denongalis,” one of the children whined and she raised an eyebrow. The group collectively whined “aww” and disbursed.
“I didn’t know you played,” she said, staring at me before she handed me one of the cups.
I shrugged. “I di...dn’t know, eith...ther.”
Her eyebrow cocked. “That’s my favorite song,” she said.
“Oh.”
“And you sang it flawlessly,” she added and took my elbow, leading me back toward my room. “Come on. You need to have some tests today to make sure everything is okay.”
“Okay.” I followed her back to the room, studying the walls again as I passed. “Why here?” I asked, pleased when the simple words came out without a stutter.
She glanced over her shoulder. “I wanted you where my rotation was. So you’re at Dana Farber in the children’s section.”
I thought about our escapades last night and heat filled my face. If I had known we were in the children’s ward... ah hell, I still would have indulged. When we stepped into the room, the man who looked similar to Tom turned from his station at the window. My smile faded.
“You never told me Chris could play the piano,” she said to him.
He let out a small laugh. “He doesn’t.”
With that, I was now the focal point of both sets of eyes.
“How did you do that,” she asked in just a small whisper.
I raised a shoulder. “I heard it in my head.”
With a couple of blinks, she turned toward the man. “Chris, this is Steve. He’s your father.”
“I adopted you after your parents died,” he added, clarifying his role further. “You and Tom have called me Uncle Steve ever since.”
I gave him a nod and my gaze dropped to the floor. “I don’t remember you,” I said, but the words didn’t flow as smooth from my mouth as they did in my head. At least now the single syllable words didn’t pause and restart like a stuck recording like the rest. I hated the fact that I was still struggling.
“It’s okay,” he said, his voice soft and low and I looked up into his blue irises. “Valerie asked me to come because, if the tests show nothing to be alarmed about, she said I can take you home.”
I stepped back and my gaze slid to Valerie.
“If everything checks out, you can’t stay,” she said, the conflict in her eyes, hammered against my chest.
“But?”
“I will see you at home when this rotation ends.” Her stern eyes met mine in the same way she scolded the children a few minutes ago, but I knew under the sternness was hesitation.
It should have made me feel better that she didn’t want me to go, but it didn’t. As a matter of fact, I didn’t like this at all. This was familiar and calm and the only normal I knew. Being with her was home. “How long?”
“I have another six weeks here.”
“How man...ny hours?” I said because six weeks didn’t mean squat to me.
“There are twenty-four hours in a day and seven days in a week.” She crossed her arms.
The calculation in my head took the same amount of time as it took her to cross her arms. “A thousand hours?” I gawked.
“One thousand and eight to be exact,” she said. “You can visit on weekends if you want,” she said and I nodded while the center of my body slowly twisted into a knot. “And we’ll have to get you a piano.”
The heat rose in my cheeks. I still didn’t understand how I did that, but the way she looked watching me was worth going out and buying a hundred pianos. “When you come home,” I said.
She sent a smile my way and handed me the shirt that hung over the end of the bed. “Time for us to take a look at your magnificent brain,” she said and I didn’t meet Steve’s gaze, but he did chuckle and took a seat in the chair, opening a tablet and settled in.
The machine was loud and I had to stay still while it rattled around me. Valerie’s voice kept telling me I was doing well, appeasing my unease with soft assurances every time the anxiety ratcheted up. The whispers of thought tickled my mind and while I didn’t understand the terminology being used, I did get the awe and excitement at what they saw.
I stared at the white plastic and the more I thought about leaving, the more the knot in my stomach clenched. The machine finally silenced and Valerie came in, pulling me out of the scanner. Her gaze told me I was more than fine and I closed my eyes. Sighing.
As we walked back to the room, I asked. “Before. How long did we...”
She slowed to a stop and met my gaze. “How long were we together before you got hurt?”
“Yes.”
She sighed. “Three days.”
“Three days?” The declaration sent a wave of chills through me. “What the fuck?”
She pulled me into an empty room. “Neither of us expected it at all. And in case you hadn’t noticed, neither of us is what you would call normal. Normal people can’t heal with a kiss or read minds or lock doors with a thought.”
I crossed my arms and stared down at her, unconvinced. Even without much of a memory, I knew three days didn’t make this kind of connection. It had to have been more.
“We shared memories,” she finally said. “When we first touched, we got a download of each other’s lives. It was a real mind fuck because, in a matter of seconds, it was like we were lifetime friends with a hell of a physical connection.”
“How...” I didn’t know how to articulate the question and stepped back clenching my fists in frustration. “Three days?” I asked instead.
She nodded. “You were my first,” she said and I looked at her, blinking, trying to catch up. “Last night was my second time, ever.” Her voice softened. “You aren’t imagining the connection. I was lost for the last two years, walking around like half my soul was gone.”
“But three days to be this...” I paused and swallowed, targeting the right word. “De...pen...dant?”
“It’s not logical. But then again, you playing a song, that I played at least a dozen times a week when you were in a coma, like you performed it a thousand times isn’t logical. You nearly dying...” she pressed her lips together and her mind closed with a slam.
“What happened to me?”
“You saved our lives,” she said and stepped around me to the door.
I grabbed her arm and she met my gaze.
“Seeing you so broken...” Tears filled her eyes and she shook her head, unable to speak for a minute as her locked down memories overtook the conversation. She took a deep breath and continued, “I’m in love with you, Chris. I have been since you first kissed me. For me it wasn’t the memory download, it was that kiss. Time stopped and nothing existed but you and as much as I didn’t want to, you stole my heart by believing in me like no one else ever had. I waited for you, not knowing if you’d ever wake up.”
Tears painted her face. “You became home to me.”
“You’re my home.” I leaned in and kissed her gently and accepted our bizarre attachment. I really had no choice, the thought of navigating life without her left me terrified.