No sooner had we stepped through the front door than there came the sound of loud voices from the back of the house. I wouldn’t say they were necessarily shouting, but they were most definitely human, which almost always means loud.

I was about to suggest we just leave, but after placing a paw to his muzzle to indicate he wished us to remain silent, Bones proceeded to tiptoe toward the source of the voices. Well, as capably as a Great Dane can tiptoe. Once again, it was all I could do to follow. Of course, it was easier for me to tread silently, even with my permanent limp. Cats are, after all, better suited to quiet walking than dogs.

The voices, increasing in volume as we tiptoed, led us to a room at the back of the house. It was a very dusty room—frankly, the whole place was dusty—and inside of it were two humans, their backs to us. Their heads were tilted slightly downward as though studying some object on the threadbare carpet before them. They were talking so loudly that they hadn’t even heard our approach. Neither did they look up as Bones began to whisper to me.

“The one on the right,” Bones informed me, “is Inspector Strange. He’s with the police. If I’m a more private detective, then he’s a very public one. And not a very good one, I might add, which is why he always calls for my help. But as I mentioned before, when I give it and solve the case, he then always goes and takes all the credit.”

“And why would he do that?”

“Human nature?” Bones shrugged. “Also, I suspect he has a prejudice against dogs. He accepts that animals can talk and live amongst his kind independently, but he doesn’t like to think that a dog can actually outsmart a human.”

A prejudice against dogs? I thought sarcastically. Why would anyone ever feel that? I’d never had anything in common with humans before but I suppose there’s always a first for everything. Unless there never is.

“Who’s the other one?” I asked. “The man on the left?”

“Another detective, but he’s no one very important.” He paused. “Ahem!” Bones uttered loudly, causing the two men to turn where they stood.

“Ah, Bones!” Inspector Strange said, his face a peculiar mixture of pleased and not pleased. I say peculiar, yet I could fully relate to it. Already, in our short acquaintance, Bones had the same peculiar effect on me.

Rather than return the greeting, Bones commenced to slapping at the area behind his ears with his great big paws.

“Sorry,” he said, for once looking slightly embarrassed. “Fleas.”

Fleas? And he’d been in my house?

“I’m glad you decided to join us,” Inspector Strange continued. “And who have you brought with you?”

“This is my partner,” Bones informed him, “Dr. Catson.”

Partner? I never agreed to be his partner!

But before I could object to this classification, Inspector Strange held out a hand awkwardly as though trying to figure out what part of my body he could politely shake.

I saved him the trouble as I reached up one elegant paw and shook his hand firmly. My father always said a firm handshake shows good character.

“Pleased to meet you,” Inspector Strange said, “my good chap.”

“I’m not a chap,” I said. “I’m a lady.”

“Sorry!” Inspector Strange said, blushing. “But you can understand my error, can’t you? I mean, it’s always so much easier to tell with dogs.”

What an idiot! I thought, and Bones is right—he’s not much of a detective!

Of course, Bones hadn’t been able to ascertain my gender on initial meeting either, but that’s about what you’d expect from a dog.

Since no one else was going to introduce us, I offered my paw to the other detective. “Hello. Dr. Jane Catson here.”

But since no one gave him a name, and he didn’t provide one himself, I began to think of him just as Bones had described him: as Inspector No One Very Important.

Once my paw had been limply shaken and then released by Inspector No One Very Important, the two public detectives returned to contemplating the object on the carpet before them, turning their backs on us once more. Only this time, there was separation between the two public detectives’ bodies so that we could get a glimpse at what they were looking at.

“Well, what do you think, Bones?” Inspector Strange asked.

It was a human body, facedown, and quite obviously dead.

You never do forget your first, do you?