“Of course not!” Inspector No One Very Important said. “That’s not what happened!”

“It isn’t?”

“No! Fifi simply kicked him out.”

“Oh,” I said, disappointed that his answer wasn’t what I had expected. “Well, I suppose that’s not terribly surprising, is it? If he tried to kiss my daughter, I’d kick him out too. Not that I’ve ever had a daughter. Or a son for that matter. Or a litter.”

“Catson?” Bones said.

“Yes, Bones?”

“Do you think we might let the inspector get on with his tale?”

Oh. Right.

“Yes, well,” Inspector No One Very Important continued. “After, er, John Smith was evicted, he didn’t exactly stay evicted.”

“He didn’t?” I said. I hadn’t seen that coming.

“No,” Inspector No One Very Important said. “According to Fifi, he returned to the boardinghouse later the same night and tried to kiss Fifi’s daughter again.”

“No!” I was horrified on Fifi’s daughter’s behalf.

“Yes,” Inspector No One Very Important reassured me.

“The scoundrel,” I said.

“Indeed.”

“So then what happened?”

“Well, he was attacked, of course.”

“By the daughter?” I said, eager once more. “So it wasn’t Fifi who murdered him. It was her daughter?”

“Of course not!”

“Oh.” I was puzzled. I’d been sure I had it that time. “Who, then? Who attacked, er, John Smith?”

“It was the brother!” Inspector No One Very Important said, eyes flashing.

“Wait, wait, wait! Hold on here!” I held one front paw straight in the air. “Time out!”

“What appears to be the problem?” Inspector No One Very Important asked.

“The brother? The brother?” I turned to the dog. “Bones, help me out here. Am I missing something? I’m quite certain a brother wasn’t part of the story before.”

“If there’s a Fifi and she’s got a daughter,” the dog said, “I see no logical reason why the daughter can’t have a brother.”

“Oh, pah.” I waved at him disgustedly. “You’re no help.”

“Perhaps you’d like to tell us,” Bones addressed Inspector No One Very Important, “what exactly the brother did?”

“Well, he chased, er, John Smith out of the house, didn’t he?” Inspector No One Very Important spoke as if this must be obvious when, really, nothing seemed obvious to me anymore. “By his own admission, the brother chased John Smith down the street and when he caught him, he beat him a bit about the head.”

“And that’s how he murdered him?” I said. “But er, John Smith was killed with poison.”

“He was,” Inspector No One Very Important agreed. “At any rate, the brother claims it wasn’t him that murdered, er, John Smith. Claims, er, John Smith was still alive when last he saw him. That somehow John Smith escaped his clutches and got away.”

“So then the brother isn’t the murderer?”

“Who knows? Of course, we arrested him anyway.”

“That’s who you arrested?”

“Why not?”

“Because hitting a man who tried to kiss your sister does not constitute murder? Because you don’t have any real evidence? Because you might have the wrong man?”

“Well, who’s to say that he didn’t commit the murder? And anyway, we have to arrest someone, don’t we?”