I rubbed at my eyes.

But no matter how hard I rubbed, every time I opened my eyes, the puppies were still there.

I counted: one, two, three, four, five, six. If I had to take a guess, I’d say they were Cocker Spaniels. They looked ridiculous, all so small, as they bounded around Bones.

I wanted to believe this was just a hallucination brought on by lack of food or sleep.

Puppies? In my house?

“I did tell you,” Bones said with a wry smile, “that I had to see a dog about a man.”

“A dog, fine,” I said. “One dog.” Then I pointed at the sestet. “But that’s not one, it’s six. And it’s not a dog, it’s puppies.”

And, those puppies were having a field day, scampering all over my home, snuffling their snouts through all of my possessions.

“I suppose you’re right, my dear Catson. But if I’d said ‘I need to see six puppies about a man,’ it wouldn’t have really had the same ring to it, would it?”

“Just a second, Bones,” I said, holding up a paw to stop him from doing anything rash. Even if I didn’t like the idea of having puppies in my home, I didn’t want to see them murdered right in front of me either. Which is exactly what Bones was about to do. He would administer the various tablets from the pillbox to the various little puppies and then watch to see if any—all?—fell down dead.

“Just a second what?” Bones asked with some irritation.

“Just a second for me to cover my eyes,” I said, squeezing them shut. Almost instantly, though, I snapped them back open again. I couldn’t believe how cowardly I was being. Was I just going to stand there, eyes squeezed shut, while Bones killed relatively innocent puppies in the name of scientific research? I had been to the Cat Wars. I was made of sterner stuff than this.

“I won’t let you hurt them!” I said, throwing my body between the dog and the puppies, spreading my arms wide to protectively shield them behind me. I couldn’t believe I was about to try to save puppies, but there you have it.

“What are you talking about, my dear Catson?” Bones demanded, more irritable still.

“Yes, what is she talking about?” Inspector Strange asked Bones.

Oh. The humans. For a moment, I’d forgotten they were there. Particularly Inspector No One Very Important, as he didn’t really say very much. Although he ate plenty.

“You know,” Inspector Strange added, “her reactions to things are often so strange, I sometimes have trouble remembering, let alone believing, that she’s a real doctor.”

Oh! Who was he to be calling anyone else strange?

“You were about to kill them!” I cried, raising a paw in accusation and pointing it straight at the dog’s face. “You were going to give the puppies those pills so you could see which ones wound up dead! I simply won’t have it in my house!”

Bones burst out laughing. “Don’t be absurd!”

“I fail to see how—”

“I wasn’t going to harm the puppies.” The dog continued to chuckle, completely unable to contain his mirth. “I wasn’t going to kill them!”

“You weren’t?” I dropped my paws. “What then?”

“I was merely going to introduce you to my young associates,” he said.

“Them? They’re your”—I could barely bring myself to choke out the words—“young associates?”

“Of course.” He turned to the puppies. “Boys, may I introduce to you Dr. Jane Catson.”

And he proceeded to go through what by now had become his usual dog-and-pony show, trotted out whenever introducing me to someone new. You know: “This is my partner”; “Yes, the cat’s a doctor”; “Yes, the doctor’s a girl”; and “blah, blah, blah.”

Apparently, in this scenario, I was the pony.