Seated at the small dining table which faced the tiny green overgrown lawn at the back of the mid-terraced property, Alice sipped her tea and remained quiet while the woman – Mrs Jones – spoke warmly about the Kerry she had known and watched thrive in recent years.
‘I hadn’t realized what it was she was doing at night,’ Mrs Jones said sorrowfully. ‘She must have thought I’d judge her and not agree to watch over little Finn. That poor lamb. The police came and took him from here on the Sunday morning when she didn’t return. I was so worried that my calling them would get Kerry into trouble again, but she wasn’t answering her phone and I was concerned.’ She paused and looked out of the window for a moment. ‘If I’d known what was going to happen I would have insisted she not go out. I would have refused to watch Finn for her. I would have … I would have …’ Her words faded as the loose skin beneath her eyes moistened.
The room they were in was open plan, with two armchairs, both with flattened cushions. The faint smell of urine hung in the air. It reminded Alice of when she’d been to visit her grandmother at the nursing home shortly before she’d passed away. Alice didn’t want to imagine what her life would look like in sixty-plus years. Hopefully, she and Ben would have had a life full of fun and joy, with a family for them to cherish memories of. She wondered whether Mrs Jones had had such lofty hopes when she was younger.
‘You can’t blame yourself,’ Alice said, reaching for her hand. The skin was cold and hung loosely. ‘How well did you know Kerry? Had you been neighbours for long?’
Mrs Jones squeezed Alice’s hand. ‘I don’t want you to think badly of me for speaking ill of your friend, but I first met her when she broke into my house and tried to steal some of my jewellery.’
Alice gently nodded to show she’d taken no offence.
‘She was only a kid herself then,’ Mrs Jones continued. ‘Must have been three or four years ago. I remember hearing noises late one night, and when I came down to see if it was one of the cats I found her in this room, going through one of my drawers. Well, I was terrified, let me tell you. I didn’t know if she had a weapon or what she might do, and my legs turned to jelly and I fell from the bottom step, bashing my hip on the way down. She came over to me and I feared for my life, but rather than hurting me, she helped me to sit up and called an ambulance. She could have taken off and left me there so she could get away, but she didn’t. She stayed by my side, saying she couldn’t leave until she knew I was okay. She apologized for breaking in and handed back the few trinkets she’d stuffed into her pockets.’
A white and ginger cat brushed past Alice’s legs, startling her.
Mrs Jones continued to stare out of the window. ‘I was taken into hospital and was kept in for a couple of nights while my heart settled back down, and Kerry came to visit me both days. I could see she was in a bad way. Her clothes were filthy, and she was little more than skin and bone. I told the doctors I’d fallen and called out for help, and that she’d been passing and stopped to help me. I never reported the burglary to the police – I thought Kerry deserved a second chance.
‘She told me about her upbringing: in and out of various foster homes – some abusive – and she also told me about her little lad, Finn. Her face would light up when she spoke about him, and I could see how much he meant to her. He was the apple of her eye, and she would do absolutely anything for him.’
A few photo frames on a nearby unit showed a much younger Mrs Jones with a tall, handsome man. In others she spotted images of Kerry, one of which she had already seen in the press. Then Alice spotted a frame with Kerry and a little blonde-haired boy. He couldn’t have been much older than four in the photo, and was pulling a grumpy face. He was the spitting image of his mother, and Alice recognized the look of adoration in Kerry’s eyes.
‘She was only seventeen when he was born,’ Mrs Jones said, spotting Alice staring at the photo and handing it over. ‘Not even a toddler when we first met. She never told me who the father was, and I’m not altogether sure she knew to be honest. I got the impression she’d been badly treated by a few men. She’d had a number of run-ins with the police: shoplifting, antisocial behaviour, and the like, but after that night we met, something changed in her. I don’t know what it was – I’d like to think I had an influence – but she got her act together. She temporarily moved in here with me. I didn’t charge her rent so she did various chores – cooking, cleaning, that sort of thing – and in return she had a roof over their heads. She managed to get a job a few hours every other night, enabling her to save money to start renting the place across the road. It took time, but she got clean of whatever she was on, and I was proud of the woman she was becoming. I didn’t mind Finn sleeping here when she went to work – he was never any bother. Then she’d collect him while he was having his breakfast.’
‘It sounds like she was lucky to find you,’ Alice said sadly, certain Mrs Jones had probably added more years to young Kerry’s life.
‘I feel like I was the lucky one. You wouldn’t understand yet, but it gets lonely when you reach my age. I do what I can to get out and about and to speak to the people that I meet, but in this day and age, most of you younger people – and I don’t mean you any offence – walk along the street with things shoved in your ears, or staring at tiny screens, or both! People don’t seem to want to talk like they once did. There was a time when I knew everyone’s name in the street and who to turn to if I needed help or support, but not now. I try, but it’s a struggle.’
‘Do you know where they took Finn to? I’d really like to meet him.’
Mrs Jones wiped the corner of her eye with a mottled tissue. ‘I wish I knew, dear. They took him and said he’d be safer in their care. That’s one of the worst parts of what’s happened. I miss him. His little face would brighten the room when he came in. He always had one of the biscuits out of my tin. They were nothing fancy, but I got the impression Kerry didn’t let him have cakes and biscuits at home. She was determined to give him a better upbringing than she’d had and swore by fruit and vegetables as snacks. I certainly haven’t eaten as well since she moved out, but she was young and needed her own space. I understood that, but I used to cherish the days when I knew she was coming around with Finn. Even if she only dropped him off, it was a joy to see how well she was doing. A real angel died that night.’
Alice stayed with Mrs Jones for half an hour, listening to her stories about when Kerry had taken Finn to the zoo for the first time, and how Kerry went over the top with gifts and food every year on Finn’s birthday, even though it was only ever the three of them there to eat it all. Alice’s guilt was on overload as she relayed what she’d learned to Tara.
‘It’s a real tragedy,’ Alice concluded. ‘It’s silly but the more I hear about her, the more I can see myself in her struggles. If I had lost both parents so young, how might I have ended up? It just makes you think how lucky you are. You know?’
‘Too true!’ Tara agreed. ‘I appreciate how this situation is making you feel, but there’s nothing you can do to fix it. I don’t think you’ll be truly happy unless you manage to invent a time machine, go back and stop her being killed that night. Speaking as your friend, I think you need to work out a way to deal with your guilt. It wasn’t your fault, Alice. You didn’t send those boys to Bournemouth. Don’t forget, as far as we knew Ben was at home while we were in Paris. You weren’t the one who hired Kerry to come and strip, nor are you responsible for whoever attacked her as she walked home. I don’t want to sound callous, but I think it’s time for you to realize that Kerry herself should have known she was putting herself at risk.’
Tara was right, as much as Alice didn’t want to listen, but that didn’t ease the tension in her neck and shoulders.
‘I think I need to go and speak to DC Hazelton,’ Alice said after a minute. ‘I think she deserves to know what I heard Dave saying on the phone.’
Tara looked shocked. ‘You have no idea what that conversation was about. Plus how’s it going to look: throwing Ben’s best mate under the bus?’
‘If he had nothing to do with Kerry’s death then he’ll be just fine. I also want to tell her about Johnny. You didn’t see Faye’s face the other night. She looked like she’d gone several rounds with a heavyweight boxer. If he’s capable of that kind of behaviour with his wife, what’s he capable of with a stranger?’
Tara sighed loudly. ‘What happens when it turns out neither of them had anything to do with it? How will you explain to Faye what you did? What she told you about Johnny was said in strictest confidence. If she’s not willing to go to the police about his abuse, she won’t thank you for going behind her back. Give the police some credit and space to carry out their investigation. I got the impression from DC Hazelton that she won’t rest until she has the correct suspect in custody anyway.’
Alice pulled up outside the gates of St Michael’s School. ‘Maybe you’re right. Are you sure this is where you want me to drop you?’
Tara looked at the large brick building. ‘Yeah. Unlike some, I’m nowhere near prepared for the new school term. What I’d give for your organizing skills and energy! It’s a struggle for me to get out of bed most days.’
‘Do you want any help? I’m a dab hand at stapling pictures to walls and notice boards, you know.’
Tara pecked her on the cheek. ‘I appreciate the offer, but you should get yourself home to that gorgeous husband of yours.’
Alice suddenly looked at the time. Nearly two, but her phone was in the boot and she had no idea whether Ben had called or messaged to say he was done at the office.
‘Shit! I didn’t realize it was so late. You’re right, I’d better get home. Thank you for today. I know I stopped you getting work done but I really appreciate you being there.’
Tara hugged her tightly. ‘Promise me you won’t go speaking to the police without discussing it with Ben first. Try to do something to take your mind off this murder business. Remember, there’s nothing you can do to help that girl or her son now.’
Tara opened the Audi’s door and climbed out, waving as she closed it. Alice was about to pull away when a sudden tapping on the window startled her. Looking up she saw Andrew’s big smiling face staring back at her through the closed window, a filled baguette in his hand.
‘I thought I recognized your car,’ he said, as she lowered the glass. ‘Are you coming or going?’
‘Going,’ Alice said. ‘I was just dropping off Tara.’
‘That’s too bad,’ Andrew said, resting his arm on the window frame, the smell of tobacco now permeating the interior of the car. ‘I was going to offer to split my sandwich with you. Have you eaten?’
‘It’s kind of you to offer,’ she said politely, ‘but I’m meeting Ben for lunch.’
‘Of course you are,’ he said, unable to keep the disappointment from his voice. ‘Have you got five minutes though? Do you remember that old friend I mentioned to you? The one I bumped into at bird watching? Well, the thing is … I asked her if she’d like to go out for something to eat with me, and … I haven’t heard back from her. It’s been a couple of days, and I’m sure she will have heard my message by now, and I’m worried I might have overstepped the mark.’
Alice applied the handbrake but left the engine running. ‘Andrew, you’re too hard on yourself. You’re a lovely person, very kind and affectionate, and she’ll probably be back in touch before you know it.’
Alice glanced at the clock again, hoping Ben wasn’t already home and wondering where she’d been all morning.
Andrew pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. ‘Do you think?’
Alice nodded encouragingly. ‘I really do. I’m sure she’ll be happy to reignite your friendship, and from the way you spoke about how things have been going, I’m certain it will all work out for the best.’
He was grinning like a Cheshire cat, revealing the yellow nicotine stains on his teeth. ‘I hope you’re right. She’s a couple of years younger than me, but she said she was looking for someone a bit older, as she’s had younger boyfriends before and despises immaturity. Would you say I’m mature?’
‘Very mature, Andrew. Listen, I’m sorry to be abrupt, but I really do need to get home. I’m sure she’ll message you back and agree to meet. Mark my words.’
She put the car into gear and he straightened up, allowing her to raise the window and pull out of the space. She continued to watch him in the rear-view mirror as she headed for home. He was still standing on the pavement watching the Audi when Alice turned into the next road. The smell of the garlic sausage in his baguette and his tobacco breath lingered and she flipped the air conditioning switch to maximum.