HOW I CHECK FOR MONSTERS BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP

First I check under the bed,

which is obviously crazy.

A monster that hides beneath the bed

isn’t scary—he’s just lazy.

Next I check the closet,

behind all the pants and shirts.

Make sure I see no beasties

wearing my old skirts.

I turn on the lights in the bathroom,

and once all the shadows are gone

I check that there’s no growling fiends

in the tub or on the john.

I glance in the hallway mirror

for a fanged and horrible face.

I look away, then back again—

you know, just in case.

The fridge, the stove, the pantry:

the kitchen is all clear.

I stop and have a cookie.

Why not? Since I’m here.

And then at last I’m confident

that the beasts have stayed away.

Now I lay me down and go to sleep.

Oops—too late—it’s day.