MILK AND LAVENDER

you fell asleep

in my arms

this evening

you had your

evening feeding

in your usual

fashion

looking at the

burlap lamp shade

as it swayed

rocked by the unseen hand

of the air conditioner

you fidget

with your left hand

the more tired you get

it starts with a curious exploration

feeling my face

playing with the tassel

on my sweater

but as sleep overtakes you

the herky-jerky motions

increase until

you flop your whole arm wildly

I grab your tiny hand

wrap your finger

to make a fist

around my thumb

then fold my fingers

over yours

let the weight of my arms

hold your own firmly

against your belly

this quiets you

and you relax

and begin to

eat in earnest

looking at me

your eyes grow

so heavy

you shake your head

as if to wake yourself

fighting sleep

but the warm milk

and holding you close

lull you into

such a sweet

serene state

until the nipple

pops

out of your mouth

I straighten my blouse

lean back into my chair

cradle you close

and kiss your cheek

repeatedly

while you sleep

I can’t stop staring

you are completely relaxed

your mouth

puckers and pooches

your cheeks droop heavily

your eyebrows like

bows empty of an arrow

I stand with you

still nestled in my arms

turn the light out

hover over your crib

but cannot bear

to put you down

and so I stand there

in the dark

straining to see

your shape

in the dwindling light

swaying back and forth

bending over your

sleeping form

to kiss your temples

that smell like

milk and lavender