Craig drove us home in Nell’s car and the four of us sat in the silent interior.
“It sucks,” Nell spoke. “No matter how much I try to live in the love Rori’s now living in, my heart’s been blown apart.”
“I’d say give it time,” said Craig, “but even now, I have cases I can’t let go of.”
“I don’t know that I’ll be able to let go of this, either,” I said. “I was supposed to transition Kent and not only did I fail, but a little girl died because of me.”
“That’s not on you, that’s on Kent.” Serge spoke up from the backseat. “But I didn’t help—I was supposed to be your partner in helping him cross over.”
“No one failed,” said Craig. “Ghosts have autonomy, the same way the living do. Decisions were made and this was the outcome. Ultimately, Kent decided his fate. So did Rori. If you love her—” he made eye contact with Nell via the rearview mirror. “You have to respect the decision she made.”
“But she was just a kid!”
“A smart kid who saw both sides and made her choice,” he said. “And we all have to live with it.”
The car went quiet, again. Streetlights cast their shadow on the interior in an alternating pattern of light and dark. After a few minutes, I told them about The Voice and my theory.
“Are you sure?” Nell asked.
I nodded. “I didn’t realize it until I heard Mrs. Pierson wailing for Rori. She sounded exactly like The Voice when it’s calling out to me.”
“I think you need to call back because she’s done some seriously psycho stuff with you.”
“It’s her fear and the different dimensions getting tangled,” said Craig. “Unless you have the power to communicate through the dimensions, trying to get a message from that side to this one is like a PC talking to Apple without the right software. Everything gets garbled. She’s calling out to you because she’s trying to warn you. She’s scared and by the time it manifests on this end—”
“It’s more violent than she intends,” I finished. “But how is that possible? Is she stuck somewhere or lost or is she some other kind of supernatural thing…”
Craig shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t get to access that kind of information.”
“Are you going to tell your dad?” asked Serge.
I shook my head.
“God, Maggie,” said Nell. “Seriously? You and your dad don’t keep secrets.”
“He carries a weight with her. When she left us, I think he hoped she left to find happiness. I can’t tell him she’s dead. You know my dad. He’ll start wondering how she died, and what if she died in a bad way? He’ll blame himself. It’s better for him to think she’s alive and happy.”
“Are you sure you can keep this from him?” asked Nell.
“It’s for his own good,” I said. “I can keep this secret. But I have to find out more,” I said. “I need to know what happened to my mother.”
“I’ll do everything I can to help,” promised Craig. “Though it might take a while.”
“What about Kent?” asked Nell. “Or Rori? Can you find out about them?”
“Time on this end and time on that end aren’t the same. I’ll ask, but it could take a long time before we find out anything.”
“What do you think they’ll do to Kent?” I asked.
“When he deals with his life,” said Craig, “it won’t just be the decisions he made in this one. It’ll be the decisions he made in his past lives, if there was any growth in this incarnation, why he made the decisions he did.”
“But he kidnapped a kid,” I said.
“But he sacrificed himself to save her,” said Craig, “and that will count for something. He made some terrible mistakes in his life, and he’ll be held responsible for them. But he’ll also be held responsible for the steps he took to try and fix those mistakes.”
“In the meantime,” said Nell, “he’s gone, Rori’s gone, and two families are decimated. Dead Falls is living up to its name a little too well.”
“What about you? How are you feeling?” I asked.
She shook her head, the tears fell. “I don’t understand why she had to die. I did everything I could, I did everything right—I even did the wrong thing to help her—”
“The lesson that sucks the most about living,” said Craig, “is sometimes you do your best, you give it everything, but everything falls apart and terrible things happen.” He looked over at me.
I nodded and squeezed his hand.
Serge turned to Craig. “How do you handle this? Don’t you get tired?”
“Sometimes, but I remind myself there’s hope and where’s there’s hope, there’s joy. And that’s the thing I hold on to. Amidst all the terrible things, there’s good.”
“What’s the good in this?” challenged Nell. “Dr. Pierson’s life is over, Kent’s dead. His parents hate each other even more. Mrs. Pierson’s probably going to find the end of her life at the bottom of a bottle. Rori will never know what it’s like to grow up.” Her voice cracked. “Where, Craig? Where is the good?”
“Here,” he said. He reached back, and she put her hand in his. “With us.”
It was all we had, but tonight, it was going to have to do. We continued down the quiet road.