Chapter Ten

Pick whatever you want,” their father said, handing out large menus. “Don’t worry about the cost. I’ve got more than enough money to pay for dinner for all of you.”

He said that like he was bragging.

Sam glanced around the restaurant. The waiters and waitresses wore black skirts or slacks and white shirts and ties. Soft music played in the background, and people were talking quietly.

The tablecloth he’d shoved his legs under was crisp and heavy and made a crinkle on his lap.

Ditto the napkin.

He glanced down at his faded blue jeans and wished he’d taken Grandma’s advice and dressed up a bit.

Emily had ducked behind the massive menu, pretending she had some clue as to what was on it.

“How’s school treating you kids?” their dad asked them as he put his own menu down on the table. “Probably kind of hokey compared to the school you went to in San Diego.”

Emily didn’t answer, and Christopher kept his head down, so Sam filled in the slack in the conversation. “It’s okay. There are some good people there.” He almost had to laugh at himself. He’d certainly never thought he’d see the day when he would be defending Bedford High School. Not that long ago he’d wanted to get as far away from Bedford as possible.

“Good. Good.” Their dad nodded and gave them a funny smile, like he wasn’t sure what else to say.

Sam turned back to the menu. All the way to the restaurant their dad had been the one talking, telling them all about the work he did and how he enjoyed traveling. Then he started in on how much he had missed them and how glad he was that he could visit them.

Sam shifted from being completely ticked off at his father to feeling confused, and he still wasn’t sure where his feelings would land.

For years he and Emily had wondered where their dad was and what he was doing and why he had taken off on them. Now, all of a sudden, he shows up, and none of them knew what to do or what to think.

After the waiter took their order, an uncomfortable silence spread around the table. Sam felt like his brain had gone empty. Which was weird. He’d imagined sitting and talking with his dad so many times in the past few years. He’d had so many conversations with him in his head. But now that he was actually here, he couldn’t think of anything to say, and his dad had already told them all about himself so there wasn’t much to ask.

“What’s up for next year?” their father asked them, leaning his elbows on the table and looking around from one kid to the other. “Sam, you’ll be graduating, won’t you?” he asked, now focusing on Sam. “Whatcha gonna do then?”

“I’m thinking of going to college.”

“And thinking of going is all he’s doing,” Emily said, leaning back in her chair, fiddling with the black scarf she’d tied around her neck.

Sam shot her an angry look. Lately he felt that people were pushing him in all directions, and he didn’t need any smart comments from his little sister. “I’m still not sure which college I want to go to.”

“Why even bother with college? Why not work construction, like I do? You could make a lot of money. I could get you a job.” Their dad grinned at Sam, but for some reason it made him feel uncomfortable.

“He has to go to college,” Emily said, her purple nail polish flashing as she tapped her fingers against her arm. “His girlfriend is going, and he’s got to be there with her.”

“Girlfriend?” Their dad’s mouth curved into a funny grin as he leaned a little closer to Sam. He nudged him with his elbow. “Tell me about this girl. Is she pretty?”

Thankfully Sam was spared from having to respond to the awkward question because just then the waiter arrived with their food. The next twenty minutes were taken up with eating. Their dad didn’t ask him any more questions about Arielle, and no one else said anything either.

The food tasted really good, and their dad seemed to be okay with no one saying anything while they ate. When they were done, their dad snapped his fingers, and some guy wearing a black jacket over his shirt came pushing a cart full of desserts.

“Pick whatever you want,” their dad said to them.

Christopher just shook his head, and Emily said no. Sam didn’t want to be the only one eating dessert, so he said no too. Which was too bad. Some of the choices looked pretty awesome.

“Just give me the bill,” their dad said, sounding a little peeved as he talked to the waiter.

He made a big show of pulling out his wallet and dropping a bunch of bills on the table. When the bill had been paid, they pulled on their coats and walked through a bitter wind to Kevin’s truck.

Supper down, Sam thought. What’s next?

“How can you guys stand this weather compared to San Diego?” their dad asked. “I can’t believe you’d want to stay here in this cold. I’d die. I was so glad to get away from this place.”

“It’s not like we have a lot of choice,” Sam said, though a small part of him felt a bit defensive about where he lived. Though he didn’t always like the cold himself, there were things he did enjoy.

“How could it be good?” Their dad blew on his hands.

“Uncle Pete pulled us on a tube behind the snowmobile. That was fun,” Christopher put in, obviously feeling a bit more comfortable than he had.

“Well, yeah. I guess.” Their dad laughed, but it sounded to Sam more like he was poking fun at Christopher. While he walked he pressed a button on his keychain that started the truck and unlocked the doors. “Where’s a good place to go shopping?” their dad asked.

“There’s a mall at the end of Main Street,” Sam offered as they climbed into the truck. He was getting tired of being the only one talking, but Emily had her stubborn face on and Christopher just looked nervous.

Luckily their dad turned the radio on when they got into the truck, so no one had to say anything. By the time they got to the mall, Sam felt even more uncomfortable.

This guy was their dad. And no one knew what to say to him. And now he wanted to take them shopping. It was like every bad-father-and-kids movie he’d ever watched. Dad wants to make up for all the things he did, so let’s go buy stuff.

“Guys, you’ll have to let me know what you want.” He threw his arms wide as they walked across the parking lot to the brightly lit mall. “It’s open season, and it’s open wallet. So let’s go spend some money.”

The mall was full of shiny colored Christmas decorations and people bustling around carrying shopping bags. Christmas music bounced out of speakers everywhere, and as Sam looked around, he felt as if he were back on familiar territory.

When he lived in San Diego, he and his friends always hung around the mall after school. Now, at Christmastime, this mall seemed like a familiar place, and he felt a familiar sense of expectation that the glittering lights and music created.

They walked past a bunch of stores; and then their dad stopped at an electronics store.

“Now I know there’s got to be something here for you boys.” Kevin looked from Sam to Christopher, and in his eyes Sam caught a bit of hesitancy. As if he weren’t sure himself what to do.

“We’ll start with you, Christopher,” he said. “I have an idea what you might want.”

Their dad walked over to the store’s games section and found a salesman who didn’t look a lot older than Sam himself. He wore a blue golf shirt with his name embroidered on the pocket.

“What’s the latest gadget for a boy about his age?” their dad asked, pointing to Christopher.

“How old is he?” the salesman asked, snapping his gum as he talked.

Their dad frowned and looked back at Christopher. “I dunno. How old are you?”

“He’s eleven.” Emily sounded as if she were throwing the words out. Then she turned around and sauntered off to another section of the store.

Their dad watched her go, and Sam was surprised to see that he looked a bit hurt. Sam even felt a bit sorry for him.

But then he flashed a cocky grin at the salesman, and the moment was gone. “What’s the latest and greatest for an eleven-year-old boy?”

“Game Boy? Nintendo DS? Wii?” Each of the guy’s suggestions was punctuated with a snap of his gum. He was starting to annoy Sam. He could do a better sales job than this guy was doing. At least he’d try to be a bit more polite.

Their dad shrugged and looked at Sam. “What do you figure?”

The next few minutes were taken up with discussing the various aspects of the choices available. While they talked, Christopher’s eyes got bigger and bigger.

Sam knew they wouldn’t be able to get anything that needed to be hooked up to the television, so they settled on a Nintendo.

“Can I get the blue one?” Christopher asked, just staring at the box.

“You can get whatever color you want. And you can pick out some games for it too.”

Christopher just stood there, his mouth open in disbelief. Though he already had a Game Boy, it was older and secondhand. Sam knew his little brother had wanted a brand-new Nintendo DS ever since he’d seen one of his friends with one, but he also knew it would take Christopher years to save up for one on the allowance he got.

But at the same time, Sam wasn’t so sure Grandma or Grandpa would think it was such a good idea.

“Are you sure you should spend so much money?” Sam asked.

Their dad shot Sam a frown and then patted Christopher on the shoulder. “Nothing’s too good for my little guy.”

The grin on Christopher’s face erased any concerns Sam might have.

“So, what kind of games do you want?”

Christopher looked at Sam, not sure what to do.

“Go ahead, buddy,” Sam said, grinning at his little brother, happy to see the smile on Christopher’s face.

While Christopher and their dad were deciding on games, Sam went to find his sister. She was just wandering around, her hands in her pockets, looking grouchy.

“What’s your deal?” he hissed, grabbing her by the arm. “Why are you acting like such a scritch?”

Emily glared at him. “What’s yours? I thought you were so ticked at him and now you’re acting like he’s your best friend.”

“Hardly.” Sam glanced back to where their dad and Christopher were still busy trying to decide on games. Christopher looked thrilled. “I’ve only been talking to him because you’re not.”

Emily shrugged and wandered down another aisle. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Well, neither do I. You could help me out a bit.”

Sam didn’t mean to sound so mad, but he didn’t know what to think either.

She picked up a box and then put it back. Next, she picked up a camera and pretended to take Sam’s picture. “I just don’t know about all of this. We don’t see him for years, and all of a sudden he’s here buying presents.” She put the camera down and picked up another one. “Seems weird.”

“It is weird. But it could be fun.”

“I guess.” But Emily didn’t sound convinced.

“So here’s where you two are. Did you find what you wanted?” Their dad glanced at the camera Emily had in her hand. “That’s pretty cool. Digital camera? Do you have one?”

“No.” Emily quickly put it down and shoved her hands in her back pockets.

“Really? Your grandparents haven’t sprung for a camera for you yet?”

“Well, they don’t exactly have a ton of money.”

Their dad waved his hand as if this were unimportant. “Don’t need a ton of money to buy your own kid a digital camera.” He picked one up. “Would you like this one?”

Emily’s eyes got huge as she glanced at the shiny pink camera their dad was holding. “That’s a pretty cool one,” she admitted.

“This would be a good one. Small enough to fit in your purse, but has lots of megapixels and a nice zoom.” Kevin glanced around, and the gum-snapping employee was right there.

Knew a good customer when he saw one, Sam figured. Maybe the kid wasn’t so dumb after all.

“I’d like this one. In pink. We should get a case for it too and an extra memory card. And an extra battery.” Their dad flashed a quick grin at Emily. “Always good to have a spare.”

Sam could see Emily felt overwhelmed by this, and, truth to tell, so was he.

“And while we’re getting this together, Sam, you should figure out what you want,” their dad was saying.

“Sam always said he wanted an iPod Touch,” Christopher put in.

“Well, that’s a great present,” their dad said. “Why don’t you get us one of those too?” he said to the salesman before Sam could protest. Even though he’d always wanted one, as Christopher had said, an iPod Touch seemed too much from someone who was almost a stranger to him.

But off the sales guy scurried, only too glad to add to their selections.

A few minutes later, Sam held a cellophane-wrapped box in his hands. In spite of his reservations he couldn’t help but enjoy the feel of it, the promise of the picture on the front of the box. Brand spanking new.

“Is that the kind you wanted, big guy?” his dad asked, looking over his shoulder.

“Well, I dunno.” Sam felt confused. He didn’t want to look greedy and yet … “It’s kind of expensive.” Sam felt like he had to at least make some protest.

“No problem. Nothing’s too much for my kids. I think we should get a case for it too, though, and some better earphones. The ones it comes with are never very good.” And off they went again.

A few minutes later the sales guy was ringing everything up, and for just a moment, Sam thought his dad was going to change his mind. Tell them it was all just a joke.

But no, everything got bagged and handed over the counter to their dad.

“Here you go, kids,” he said, handing out their purchases. “Think of this as a pre-Christmas gift. A warm-up.”

Sam took the crinkly bag, full of … stuff. Pre-Christmas gifts? A warm-up? Surely he wasn’t going to get them more?

And sneaking behind that question was one that had been growing the whole time they’d been picking things out: What would Grandma and Grandpa think?

“Anything else you want to do?” their dad was asking them. “We’ve still got time. Any other Christmas shopping you want to take care of?”

“I have some other shopping to do,” Emily said, her voice all funny and quiet, and Sam didn’t blame her. A digital camera. He knew she’d been saving up for one, but it would have taken her forever to get all that money together. “I wouldn’t mind checking a few things out. I’d like to head out on my own though.”

“We need to pick a place to meet,” Sam said.

“One hour? The candy stand by the food court?” Emily said.

“Okay. As long as one of you boys knows where to go,” their dad said, glancing from Sam to Christopher. That meant they would be staying with their dad.

“Do you need to do any Christmas shopping, guys?” their dad asked.

“I want to look at some magazines,” Christopher said. “For building a house.”

Their dad ruffled Christopher’s short hair. “You planning on building your own place?”

Christopher just laughed at his dad’s little joke. “No. I want to get some ideas for a house for Uncle Pete and Aunt Dana. They’re getting married, and I said I would help them plan their house.”

“You’re a smart guy,” their dad said, sounding like he was really impressed. “I didn’t know I had such a smart son.”

Christopher was just lapping it up, which, for some reason he couldn’t quite figure out, kind of annoyed Sam.

“Sam, what about you?”

Sam shrugged. “Yeah, I need to find something for my girlfriend.”

“Do you want some help?”

“Well, I guess.” He still felt funny around his dad and was a bit jealous of Emily, being out in the mall on her own while he was stuck with their dad and Christopher.

They walked around the mall. Once his dad found out that he was looking for a present for Arielle, he had all kinds of suggestions, none of which Sam could afford.

“I can help you out with buying it,” his dad said. “I don’t mind pitching in some money.”

Sam stopped looking at a bracelet after he turned over the white tag that had the price written on it. “No. I should buy it myself.”

“Hey, if you want to put a sparkle in your special girl’s life, you need to buy something sparkly.”

Sam wondered if their dad had ever bought something sparkly for their mother. Or if he had ever bought a present for that other woman he’d been living with awhile back.

But he kept his thoughts to himself. He’d just gotten a big present from him; he could hardly get snarky on his dad now.

“I’ll think of something,” Sam said, turning away from the jewelry store.

They stopped at a bookstore, and their dad insisted on buying some house-plan magazines for Christopher, who was just beaming. As they walked down the mall, still looking for something for Arielle, Sam saw that Christopher was looking up at his dad as if he were his new hero.

That bugged him a bit, but what could he say?

Nothing, it turned out. As they shopped and wandered aimlessly, Sam couldn’t think of a thing to say to the man who had been such an obsession to him for so long.

Turned out he didn’t have to say much anyway.

Christopher was a regular motor mouth. He had asked their dad a ton of questions about his work—construction on overseas projects. And where he lived—in camps and hotels. And his truck—leased. Sam just wandered along behind them, listening.

“I still say you should let me help you out with the gift for your honey,” his dad said as they walked toward the candy stand to meet up with Emily. “You want to make a good impression on her if you want to keep her.”

Sam felt a bit confused by his father. On the one hand he seemed full of advice on how to treat a girlfriend, but on the other, he hadn’t been much of a husband.

Sam was getting tired just trying to sort it all out.

They found Emily waiting at an empty table in the food court, texting on her phone. She had a couple of bags on the table, which she pushed down onto the floor as soon as she saw them.

“Hey,” she said as they came nearer. “I’m done.”

“We are too,” Sam said.

There was an awkward moment as they kind of looked at each other.

“Look what Dad got me,” Christopher said, pulling the magazines out of the bag. “Now I can make up some really good plans for Uncle Pete and Aunt Dana.”

“Awesome,” Emily said, giving Christopher a tight little smile, which disappeared as quickly as it had come.

“I guess we should probably get back to the farm,” Emily said.

“You guys don’t want any candy? Ice cream? We didn’t have dessert at the restaurant.” Their dad was pulling out his wallet again.

The magic bullet, Sam thought. But Christopher seemed game and walked over to the bins of the candy store, looking them over with bright eyes.

Sam and Emily both said no as their dad went over to Christopher and helped him pick out a bunch of treats.

“He’s going to get sick eating all that candy,” Emily said.

Sam didn’t want to say anything. His head felt tired. He just wanted to go home.

“Are you downloading your songs right away?” Emily asked.

“You can get your camera set up on the computer first.”

Emily gave him a funny look. “I thought I’d have to fight you for that.”

Christopher came back, eyes bright, bag full of candy. “I got something for everyone,” he said. “And you have to wait until Christmas to get it.”

“He’s a generous little kid, my boy is,” their dad said, rubbing Christopher’s head.

My boy? Was Christopher their dad’s boy a couple of months ago? A couple of years ago? Sam thought as he started walking toward the mall entrance. Suddenly, more than anything, he just wanted to get home.

The drive back was as quiet as the drive to the mall had been. Emily stared out the window. Christopher looked tired, and Sam, well, he was still at a loss for conversation.

Their dad stopped his rig in front of the house and put the gearshift in park. “I guess this is good-bye until we see each other again.”

“You’re not coming in the house?” Christopher asked, gathering up the bags holding the presents their dad had bought him.

“No. I’d better just lay low awhile, sport.” Their dad rubbed Christopher’s head again, grinning at him. “You make sure you get to bed on time.”

He leaned over the seat to look at Emily and Sam, sitting in the back. “If you need any ideas for your girl, be glad to help.” He handed Sam, Emily, and Christopher each a business card. “My cell phone number,” he explained. “Call me anytime you want. If you want to talk or if you need anything. Just call. I’m around until after Christmas.”

Sam pocketed the card. So easy. For years nothing from their dad; now they had an instant connection to him day and night. If they wanted one.

“Thanks for the … present,” Sam said, holding up the bag. The crinkling of the plastic made him feel a bit guilty, and he wondered what Grandma and Grandpa would say when they saw what the kids had gotten.

Well, what could they say? he thought. This was their dad, and he wanted to buy them something.

“You all take care. And make sure you call me. Anytime. I’ll be in touch with Charlotte and Bob to let them know when I’ll be coming for you guys again.”

Sam just nodded as he slipped out of the truck.

A sudden gust of winter wind sliced through his open coat, and he pulled it close, shivering. He helped Christopher out of the huge truck and shut the door.

And then their dad was gone.

The taillights of his big truck winked through the exhaust plume as he braked and then turned down the drive to the road.

“So. That was fun.” Emily sounded kind of sarcastic, but Sam knew how she felt. The whole situation felt weird. And he didn’t know what to think of it all.

“Well, we got some nice stuff out of the deal,” Sam said, trying to sound like it mattered.

Trouble was, it didn’t.