THE INVITATIONS WENT out on Tuesday afternoon, because statistically speaking, that’s the best time to offer someone a weekend getaway. Or that’s what Mr. Barclay’s advisors told him (he had a lot of those). These advisors took very expensive and extensive polling and did research (actually, it was mostly asking random people at the mall). The letters were printed on fancy, thick parchment, the kind of paper that adults use for Very Special Occasions like weddings, or birthday parties with lots of guests and bouncy castles and bands.

But this invitation was not for a party. It was for a weekend at the historic Barclay Hotel. Some said it was haunted, but there was no actual proof. Mr. Barclay owned the hotel, and he had a plan.

He wanted these invitations to be sent out on Tuesday. Five invitations only. No more, no less.

They were delivered by a courier—which was even more expensive than those advisors and the research. This was so that Mr. Barclay could make the whole thing seem important and official. He didn’t want anyone to think that this was some sort of scheme! Even though it was. His advisors told him that it’s one thing to get a letter in the regular old mail, in the box, mixed in with the grocery store flyer and the electric bill. It’s quite another to get a letter with a real embossed seal to close the envelope, delivered by a courier, where you have to sign for it. So mysterious.

Five envelopes, with five invitations. Mr. Barclay guessed that there would be some stragglers—there always were. But the five main guests had been chosen carefully. A cowboy, a librarian, a CEO (that stands for chief executive officer—which is a big deal), an actress, and a detective all got their invitations that Tuesday.

Dear [insert esteemed guest’s name here],

Congratulations! You are a winner. “What did I win?” you might ask. An all-expenses-paid weekend getaway to the historic Barclay Hotel, from Friday, April 3, through Sunday, April 5.

From the moment you arrive, you will find yourself enchanted by the newly renovated dining hall, where you will feast on a five-course meal included in your prize winnings.

Enjoy the (also newly renovated!) indoor pool, hot tub, bowling alley, and extensive multilevel library if you fancy an afternoon read by the fireplace. All meals and entertainment (expect surprises!) are included in your stay. Did we mention it’s all expenses paid?

We will see you promptly at five o’clock Friday evening to start your glorious getaway!

RSVP by Thursday to Gregory Clark, butler of the Barclay Hotel.

DISCLAIMER: The pool and hot tub may or may not be open. The Barclay Hotel is not responsible for any encounter you may have with vermin, errant staff, wonky elevators, leaky ceilings, ghosts, or unstable antiques. Cellular phone service is not available at the Barclay Hotel. Do not use the white room towels for pool attendance; bring your own pool towel. Five-course meal may actually be a one-course meal. There is no room service available at the Barclay Hotel.

Not everyone read the fine print—not when there was a free vacation at stake. Some guests read it later, but by then it was too late.

No, each and every one of the five people invited felt very special when they received the letter, even if not all of them were all that excited to go. Congratulations! You are a winner, the letter said.

Everyone likes to be a winner. Mr. Barclay counted on it.