The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.
—Ernest Hemingway
We all live our lives on promises. From the time a child can grasp the concept of “cross my heart and hope to die,” there is a forever realization that anxiety can be only reduced through proof of trust while waiting for a promise to be kept. From “scout’s honor” to “I do” to “the whole truth and nothing but the truth,” we seek cues that allay our worries. Lifeguards, the bus schedule, and the spotlessness of a hospital room are all obvious artifacts of promises waiting to be kept.
All service begins with a trust gap, the emotional space between hope and evidence, between expectation and fulfillment. Service begins with a promise made or implied: “We’ll be landing on time,” “It will be ready by noon,” or “Your order will be right out.” Granted, great service recovery can transform an aggrieved customer into a satisfied customer, but the residue of betrayal will leave a disappointed customer perpetually on guard for the time when letdown reoccurs.
Trust is the emotion that propels customers to the other side of the gap between expectation and experience. The manner in which a person, unit, or organization manages the trust gap drives every other component of the service encounter. The manner in which a person, unit, or organization capitalizes on the trust gap takes a service given to a service gift.
As customers, our journey across the high wire of faith is a trip with or without anguish depending on how strong the net of trust is that the service provider has put there to support our passage. Customers’ perception of that “net of trust” makes all the difference in how they grade their experiences. No net, no loyalty; shaky net, no loyalty. And, smart organizations—those that retain the best customers for the longest time—understand that managing the trust gap can never be taken for granted. They know that customer trust must always be treated as a fragile bond, as if it can be shattered with a single malfunction, misunderstanding, or mishap. It is the most important component of a leader’s role in a service organization.
Parents who seek to have their children proceed into the world with confidence and trust typically communicate optimism. “Look on the brighter side,” “It not as bad as you think,” and “It will all be better in the morning” were the kind of phrases most people heard growing up. They were usually delivered by an optimistic parent to an anxious child after a scary moment or dream. They also were normally the precursor to calm, confidence, and trust.
Great leaders who seek to create an atmosphere of trust are optimistic about their world and their associates. Optimism does not imply a Pollyannaish attitude or blind desire. It does, however, mean courageous hope and rock solid conviction in one’s capacity to negotiate troubled waters with unexpected twists and dangerous turns. Leaders who foster trust in relationships have a clear idea of what the relationship ought to be like. They also are quick to give early forewarning of that expectation. They are ever vigilant for evidence that their expectations will be realized or thwarted. They enter relationships with optimism, hope, and conviction that all will go well. Great service leaders ground their optimism in a belief that cracks can be filled and repaired by their will and the power of the special relationship. Best does not mean always perfect. The quest is to trust service employees, service leaders, and customers to always be striving for the best. And without at least some level of that trust and belief, true success is rarely possible.
Great service leaders who seek a trusting climate work diligently to always assert the truth. This proactive gesture keeps integrity at the forefront of all dealings. “One of the surest signs of a bad or declining relationship is the absence of complaints. Nobody is ever THAT satisfied, especially not over an extended period of time. The person is either not being candid or not being contacted.” These words of Harvard professor and marketing guru, Ted Levitt, were written about customers in his classic Harvard Business Review article, “After the Sale Is Over. . . .” They could just as easily be about all relationships. The absence of unabashed candor reflects the decline of trust and the deterioration of the relationship.
Ask anybody what they believe to be the number one cause of divorce. After a few cute answers like “marriage,” eight in ten will tell you “lack of communication.” A key part of special and important relationships is straight talk—a two-way pursuit of truth. No relationship is likely to be perfect all the time. The healthy work relationship, like the healthy marriage, is marked by candor and welcomed critique. Honesty fuels more honesty if defensiveness is absent. And as candor triggers improvement, those who serve feel responsive, those served feel heard, and the relationship emerges with greater health.
Respect is made of admiration and honor. When we respect someone, it means we admire who they are and/or what they do. There is either an “I wish I could . . . like they can” type of awe or an “I know how hard it is to . . .” type of connection. Honor is also made of esteem. To esteem a relationship is to ascribe credit or adoration to it. It involves seeking ways to bring accolades and praise to the relationship.
Riverside Health Care in Newport News, Virginia, experienced a major loss in 2002. Education manager Jean Raines unexpectedly passed away. Most organizations annually experience the loss of a special employee. This particular loss was uniquely challenging. It was not that people thought Jean would be there forever. She had already worked more than forty years for Riverside. It was the fact that Jean honored the people who worked around her.
Jean Raines did more than pass out accolades or attaboys. She visibly demonstrated her devotion for her associates. She nurtured, celebrated, remembered, teased, affirmed, and supported. At her standing room only funeral, Riverside president Caroline Martin described Jean this way: “She honored all of us by the way she showed her abiding love for each of us.” Adequate leaders show a love for their work. Good leaders show a love for their organization. Great leaders show “an abiding love for each of us.”
Reliability is the foundation of trust; trust is the glue of special relationships. Keeping promises is about protecting the sacredness of commitments. It is about caring enough to remember. “Relationships live or die by promises kept,” says Marcia Corbett of CLG, Inc. “Reliability is the foundation of mutual trust,” advises Carlo Medici, president and general manager of Bracco Diagnostics in Princeton, New Jersey. “It is being able to meet every promise every time.”
“You are only as good as your word,” was advice you likely heard growing up. “A person’s word is his bond,” you probably read. All these old maxims match Texas A&M professor Len Berry’s service quality research that affirms that the number one attribute of service from the customer’s perspective is reliability—do you keep your promises? The research on leaders’ relationships with associates is equally convincing.
We commonly use the word “natural” to refer to things that are pure or organic, meaning no bad stuff added. We also use it to mean innate or native, as in one’s natural talent. Great service requires leadership that reflects a purity of purpose as well as an instinct in practice. It does not mean leadership cannot be learned or refined. It does mean magnetic service leadership draws on the genetic material of human relationships that is as untainted as children at play and as wholesome as a family sharing a special moment.
Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.
—Stephen R. Covey