Don’t think about making art, just get it done. Let everyone else decide if it’s good or bad, whether they love it or hate it. While they’re deciding, make even more art.
–ANDY WARHOL
Leanne
There’s something Steve and I have both noticed we do that seems to be working quite well for us: we tend to ignore everyone.
It sounds more aggressive than it really is. It’s a simple concept. You know what you need, what you like, what you love, what you think looks good, what you think feels right, and what you believe in more than anyone else does. The second we start listening to outside opinions chiming in on what we should and shouldn’t do—that’s when we get cloudy.
Now, this is not to say don’t take counsel from those you trust, because, yes, that can be important and effective to your growth. But the key word there is trust.
Don’t listen to naysayers. Don’t listen to strangers who comment on your Instagram, saying they would never use that paint color. Ignore the low-self-esteem kids trying to bring you down to their level. Ignore the voice inside you telling you that you really must get married before a certain age. Ignore the magazine telling you your kitchen tile and your favorite dress are now “out.”
Wear it anyway; paint it anyway; love it anyway; do it anyway.
It’s “You Do You” on a large scale—and it changes everything.
You have to know when and what to ignore. That goes for the comments on the internet too. People ask us about that a lot now that we’re in the public eye.
At the beginning of our journey, when the show first aired, Michelle warned Mom, “Don’t read the comments on anything about Leanne and Steve because you’re going to get upset, and some of them are just plain mean.”
Others warned her too. Not everyone was going to be in love with the work we did, and they were going to let it be known.
People ask me a lot if I look at the comments that people have about my design. I’m going to be honest with you: I don’t even know most of the comments exist. I’ve never tried to read all of them or take them too seriously, whether they’re good or bad.
It can be tricky. I like to connect with people, so I am on my personal page. If I have talked to you on there, yes, that’s really me. But I generally find that my Instagram has a lot of love to it. Design Instagram is pretty tame. If you’re all revved up about the color I chose for a sofa, life’s okay.
There was one lady who said something mean about an artist whose work I posted. “Oh, you deleted my comment?” she wrote.
I replied, “Yes, because this is my account, which means this is my house. And insulting an artist and his or her work is just so unnecessary.”
People aren’t going to like everything you do. Art is subjective. You don’t have to like what I create. But why comment on what you don’t like? What purpose does that serve? There are a million designs that I feel no affinity toward. I don’t have to comment on them. They don’t need to know that. It’s just not meant for me. It’s meant for a different audience.
Steve
The thing I don’t like about social media is that it’s everybody’s highlight reel. I can be having a great day. Maybe I sit down and hop on Instagram and start scrolling. All of a sudden, I realize that everyone is on vacation. Like, that’s all anyone is doing in the world. Everyone’s on vacation or having fun, except for me. Then it makes you feel bad that your life isn’t as interesting.
I have to take a step back and say, “Hey, wait a minute. My life is awesome too. Isn’t it?”
Leanne
Who cares what the cranky guy sitting on his laptop in his basement has to say about my designs, when I’m out there in the world actually trying to make something? I’m living my life. The reason people don’t do or make anything is because they are nervous of what people are going to think. That’s such a waste. One bad thing cannot take away from the ten good comments; it can’t take away from the people whose lives we made happier.
Do I look like the happiest person on social media? Yes, I’m sure I do. But you edit your life the way you want to on social media. I make it look good. I used to be a stylist, and now I’m a decorator—that’s my job to make it look good.
The key is, we all have to remember that when we’re scrolling on social media, this is an edited version of life. You have to give yourself a break.
Social media is deeply rooted in our lives. I wish I could say, “Don’t look,” but it’s part of how we now communicate as a culture. It’s how I communicate with other artists. It’s how I communicate in my business. The bottom line is, are someone else’s opinions going to make me, or you, or any of us, stop creating? Stop being on TV? Stop making art?
Absolutely not.
When you put yourself out there as an artist, you always leave yourself susceptible to criticism. You do have to develop a thicker skin. That isn’t always easy, and it can take years to do.
For me, creating is breathing. I can’t live without creating; this is what I do. Whether people like it or not, this is who I am.
I’ve spoken to my fair share of people over the past few years: interviews, design discussions, promoting a product I’ve gotten behind because I’ve fallen in love with it. And people ask me all the time, “What are the new trends?”
I don’t answer that question, except to say, “Ignore them all.”
I know this might sound very against the decorating grain. That there are trends in the design world, and we are supposed to embrace them.
Wrong.
For one, I could name five different trends, and by the time you read this book and then decide to go out and buy an item based on the trend that I told you was hot, that trend will most likely be over. Trends constantly come and go.
Remember Mom’s living room, which I detailed earlier? She kept an Asian theme in her living room for twenty years. She’s been in and out of the “right” trend (whatever that means) so many times I can’t even count.
What about the refrigerator that I painted white? That refrigerator was avocado! Someone decided to sell those refrigerators because that was a hot color at the end of the 1970s, and people bought them.
Just because someone deemed it to be popular, and just because it’s in every book or blog or magazine, does not mean that you are going to connect with it. It doesn’t mean that you are going to want that trend in your home.
When I decorate, I use a blend of styles. I mix Italian high-end chairs with handmade crafts and beat-up tables all the time. I use poured concrete with white-washed brick. I strip down wood so it looks raw, and I paint exposed beams so they look about a hundred years old. I made my coffee table in my home from a mirrored platform from an old discotheque. I really believe this mix of items—I’ll call it my un-trend quality, if you will—makes my designs approachable. My aesthetic doesn’t follow a rule.
A lot of trends start with people just breaking rules—or better yet, making up the rules themselves. My theory on trends is simple: people get bored. We all get bored of that same kitchen or those same sandals. The “tastemakers” are really just the first ones to get bored. It’s true! They get bored and go on the hunt for something new to inspire them.
Isn’t that how Birkenstocks came back into fashion? When I was wearing Birkenstocks, my sister thought I was crazy. She laughed at me!
“In two years, you’re going to be wearing these Birkenstocks,” I said. Sure enough, she’s wearing them, because they became a trend. And her kids are wearing them too!
I’m not saying that I created the Birkenstock trend—though I might have helped get the trend going in my little hometown—but something about Birkenstocks reinvaded the culture.
This happens in the design world all the time—the tide shifts. And it takes time for people to get used to a new design. They need to see the design or the fashion, or even a different way of thinking, enough times to let it sink in. Do you think the trend of having an open floor plan in a house just came about overnight? Of course not. The open floor plan evolved out of necessity because families changed. Suddenly there was just no need for a formal living room, so homes evolved. Walls started coming down. People were more interested in roomy, cozy kitchens. This never would have happened twenty-five years ago—and even as I write this, designers and clients are leaning back toward smaller rooms and closed doors.
This brings me to Michelle’s red brick fireplace in her kitchen. It was very dark, and I wanted her to paint it. I insisted she paint it. But she was terrified.
“How can you paint brick?” she would say.
Easy—with a can of white paint!
She had seen all the white paint I used so successfully. She had seen my house. She had seen the other houses that I had painted white. She loved them all, but this was different. She was afraid that the brick shouldn’t be painted over.
There are camps around painting brick. Some people can’t even imagine doing it. Others embrace it. My sister was not embracing it.
“Leanne, I don’t know how I feel about painting brick,” she kept saying. “You can’t reverse that.”
(Side note: Yes, you—kind of—can.)
Michelle talked to Mom about it. “Leanne said it would be beautiful,” Mom told her. “So it’ll be beautiful.”
But my sister talked about it and talked about it and talked about it . . . for five long years. She agonized over it.
I’m here to tell you that if you own your house, you can do whatever the heck you want. You have to think of the greater cause of the room. In my sister’s case, she had to think about the greater cause of her kitchen, which meant that brick fireplace was going to look better white.
Five years later—five years!—she finally agreed to it. And you know what? She loved it. The room looked prettier and bigger.
“Why didn’t we do this earlier?” she said.
Michelle!
You are your own person. You’re not defined by a trend, and trends don’t define you. I say ignore the trends and create your own look. Play a little, as Steve and I like to say. Get wild. Who knows? Maybe you’ll be the one to start a new trend.
We all get distracted by the voices all around us and the voices in our heads. You’re not good enough. You’re not cool enough. You’re not interesting. The way social media encourages us to look around ourselves all the time instead of inside ourselves can inflate those feelings. Do yourself a favor: ignore most people—even me!—and only pay attention to the very few people in your life whose opinions really matter. We’re not here on this earth to sit around and spend our time worrying about who we are in other people’s eyes. We’re here to spread love and kindness and create a world for others and for ourselves that feels good, not to compare ourselves to others and not to allow another person’s negative words to take us down.