There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it.
—MARTHA GRAHAM
Leanne
I hear them constantly, the what-ifs: “But what if it doesn’t work? What if we don’t like the color? What if I buy a rug too small? What if I buy furniture that’s too big? What if . . .”
Why are we so afraid to fail? Who taught us that fear? We aren’t born with fear. Have you ever seen kids’ artwork? It’s amazing—free of all inhibitions and worry. Why do we stop painting like that? When do we stop trying out new ideas? Or a new rug, for that matter? When do we start worrying?
And what is failure anyway? What if failure is just a loving and kind nudge for us toward where we were supposed to be in the first place? What if it’s just a plot twist?
A failed career path? Great. Seems like you really weren’t supposed to be doing that job in the first place, or at least you aren’t supposed to do it anymore.
A failed relationship? Maybe what you gained from it and how you grew from it are so powerful that, though it ended, it’s actually just a twisted version of your biggest success story.
A failed art piece? Someone might think it’s the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen.
I have grown to love failure. Once you see through the weeds and let your ego take a hike, you realize this is all for your own good, your own progress, and it’s all pushing you to where you are supposed to be, to whom you are supposed to be with, and even to who you are supposed to be.
So many of us are frightened and, dare I say, paralyzed by the fear of messing up. It stops us from trying something new, creating something we have never seen, pushing ourselves to break limits in any way. That fear is blowing it. It’s stopping us from seeing what we can become, what we can create, how much we can accomplish in our short little time here on the planet.
It doesn’t matter if the thing I tried worked. In fact, personally I almost love when it doesn’t work sometimes. It allows me to check it off my list. Welp, I am not supposed to be a photographer; that’s for sure. Nope, this city is not for me; that’s one less city I have to daydream about.
What if we flip the script? What if we fail up and fail often, fail on purpose, just to see that it doesn’t really hurt as badly as we imagined it would? And what if we support each other through the failure, encouraging others to try new things and giving them a high five when it doesn’t work as planned? Because just trying something new and different in any way deserves a high five.
Did you know Dr. Seuss’s first book for kids was rejected twenty-seven times?1 He seems to have turned out fine.
Steve
I’m a big believer that if you mess up, just keep trying to figure it out, no matter how much time it takes. I think people give up too easily.
In my world, I’m working with all sorts of crews, and we’re coming together to create something that’s special and custom for our clients. That’s not easy, and humans aren’t perfect. We do our best, but sometimes it’s try, try, try—and one more try—again. You have to give yourself the chance to learn from your mistakes, and that’s okay. In my case, mistakes can be expensive and a waste of time, and yes, that’s a total drag; believe me. But it’s part of the process.
One of the most important factors in my success has been having some outstanding mentors who have helped me along the way. While I’m still being mentored, I’m always learning something new. Now I’m enjoying being a mentor myself. Dang—how did that happen?
I appreciate those people who took time to invest in me as I was learning my craft. I learned so much about carpentry and construction from some great guys who took me under their wings when I first started. I’m thankful for that. And now I feel like it’s my opportunity to do the same for others. I want to keep training people and helping them become better. That’s what makes my job interesting.
I love that about the show and my work on Restored by the Fords. With so many demands, we’re in the trenches together, including the amazing production crew. So much time, effort, skill, and perseverance are required to create each one of those episodes. It really goes to show you that you need to be in a mind-set that is open to constantly learning and sharing.
Don’t hold yourself back. Just admit it: you’re going to blow it, and that’s okay. When you go for it, give it all you’ve got, and ask for help along the way.
I also want to make sure it’s really clear how hard we both have worked along the way. Leanne and I have been so lucky to have parents who were able to help us financially, yes. We’ve had privileges that other people aren’t given. But I’ve also lived off my credit card before. I’ve scratched my way through a lot of jobs to buy my first car or to make payment for rent.
I really give my dad credit for the work ethic I have today. He always pushed us to try and to keep trying. He gave me all of the skill sets that I needed before he died, and that included never giving up, even if you feel like you’re at your lowest point.
Leanne
You’ll never do greatly if you don’t try greatly, and that means being willing to fail greatly. Failure is the best sign that you are trying. Without all of the people throughout history who were willing to fail, we would still be sitting around a fire in a cave somewhere.
In fact, failure is nothing but change. It’s nothing but an evolution. When something doesn’t work, you are forced to evolve (grow!) into something else, something inevitably better. I say fail hard and fail often.
Who has encouraged you along the way? Who popped into your head while reading this book? People who have pushed you forward into the path you are in? Thank them!
Who could stand some encouragement—someone you know who has “it” but needs to hear that from someone else? Call them; tell them; hire them; help them push forward with what they are supposed to create, how they are supposed to live.
What is it you are supposed to be doing in your life? Are you doing it? Be honest with yourself. I know the answer just popped into your head; listen to it. Don’t ignore your call. What can you do to push forward to getting there, wherever there may be? If you are like me, this may change over time; in fact, it may have already changed. And that’s okay. Keep going. Keep evolving. Don’t fight it. Enjoy it; be excited by it.
Go. Don’t stay stagnant. Whatever your goal in life is—whether it’s love, career, family, helping others, creating—go toward it now.
I had a needlepoint hanging in my room as a kid. It read, “Be Patient. God isn’t finished with me yet.” We are all wonderful works in progress.
So far. So good.