14

What had she done?

Nearly paralyzed with fear, Jada stared, wide-awake, at the ceiling above her bed for over an hour and a half. Tiffany had tried to warn her. Heck, she’d warned herself. But she’d contacted Maddox, anyway, and she’d kept contacting him, and now he knew it was her.

How? And what was going to happen next? Was that why he’d come to the store out of the blue? Why he’d put that rose on her car?

Had to be. She’d started something she had no business starting. She squeezed her eyes closed as she whispered, “What do I say to this?”

A moment later, she pressed the button that would light up the screen on her phone. Maddox had been trying to reach her ever since she stopped responding.

He’d mentioned Santa Barbara at the store, probably with the same idea in mind. He’d known then. She had no doubt of it.

What could be the harm in having a meal together? he’d written last. I miss you.

His offer was tempting. But she knew it wouldn’t end there. If she started seeing him, she’d keep seeing him. For Maya’s sake, and for the sake of her relationship with her mother and brother, she had to stop what was happening now, completely, while there was still a small chance she could.

After deleting their whole string of texts, she also deleted him from her contacts and the chess app she’d downloaded. No more M. No more MysteryWoman23. No more trying to be close to him even by text. She’d been a fool to think she could get away with what she’d done.

Praying that he’d let it go, that she hadn’t just screwed up her life again, she put her phone on the nightstand and rolled away from it. What she’d been through the past thirteen years—and what her poor brother had been through—had been a high price to pay for going to one party.

This time around, she’d make herself do the right thing.

Maddox had a terrible headache when the alarm went off the following morning. In order to arrive at the prison by ten thirty, which was when Tobias guessed he’d be finished with all the searches and paperwork getting released required, he had to leave by six thirty, so the sun was just barely coming up. He’d had only a few hours of sleep.

Bleary-eyed, he lifted his head to stop the racket his alarm was making and dropped back on his pillow. It’d been a rough night. He never did get Jada to respond to him; he figured what small chance he’d had of ever being with her again was gone.

He shouldn’t have let her know he knew who she was...

He shoved the covers off as he climbed out of bed. He didn’t have time to hang around kicking himself. He had to get on the road. Although he was excited and relieved that his brother would finally be out of prison, worry overshadowed his excitement. The next year, the transition year, would probably be the hardest of Tobias’s life. Would he be able to hold out and become productive?

Maddox checked his phone, hoping that he’d heard from Jada after all, but he wasn’t surprised to see that he hadn’t. He was tempted to text her again, to continue trying to convince her. But pressuring her would only push her farther away. She might even block him. He needed to leave her alone, give her some space. He had enough to worry about without creating more problems for himself. So there’d be no backlash on Aiyana for inviting him back into the community, he needed to mind his own business and just do his job.

With a groan, he put on some coffee and took a long shower, but that didn’t help much. He didn’t feel a whole lot better after he’d gotten out and eaten a quick breakfast.

He walked out of the house on time at least, but his day didn’t improve. He was only an hour from the prison when he got a call from his mother. She was crying so hard he could barely understand her, and after he finally got her to calm down so that her words would be intelligible, he heard what she was trying to say: she’d been beaten up and robbed.

Jada was determined to act as normal as possible, despite the sleepless night she’d had and the panic that roiled in her gut whenever she thought about Maddox knowing she was the one who’d been in touch with him. She’d not only texted him, she’d sexted him! It was so reckless, even though leaving it there had required a great deal of restraint. It wasn’t as if she’d agreed to visit him or go out to dinner with him. It wasn’t even as though she’d told him everything she wanted to say—like how hard it had been for her to let go of him in the first place, how badly she’d missed him and how unhappy she’d been in her marriage, partially because she’d learned the hard lesson that not all loves were created equal.

But there was no use feeling frustrated by her limitations. She could never go to his house for the night or tell him those things. She needed to bury the emotions she’d stirred up and forget all about Maddox—put him behind her once again, even though it would be much more difficult this time around, since each day presented a new possibility of seeing him.

She checked her phone. Although she’d deleted him from her contacts, she hadn’t blocked him—hadn’t been able to bring herself to go that far—and he’d texted her since then. Those messages came in with only his phone number attached, but that didn’t create any confusion. She would’ve known it was him even if he’d only been asking about the weather. Although she couldn’t recall memorizing a number in years—smartphones made that unnecessary—she’d memorized his.

She deleted those unanswered messages so she wouldn’t have to be quite as paranoid about guarding her phone and got dressed for the day. She needed to focus, had other things to worry about this morning. Although Sugar Mama had had a few strong days over the past month, business hadn’t picked up as much as she’d hoped. And if it wasn’t doing as well as it needed to during tourist season, they’d never make it through the coming winter, not unless they made a change. Jada believed Maya’s idea of adding ice cream to the menu could save the store, and now that she’d investigated the costs, she planned to present the numbers to Susan.

“What are you doing here?” her mother asked after Jada parked in the alley and walked in through the back. “You don’t normally come until two.”

“I wanted to talk to you and mornings are usually our slowest times.”

“That’s also when I do all my baking.”

“Baking doesn’t stop you from talking or listening.”

“What is it?” She suddenly lowered her voice. “Don’t tell me you’ve heard from Maddox...”

Jada didn’t say one way or the other. “It’s about the store.”

Her mother didn’t seem to relax. She knew things weren’t going as well as they needed to be. “What about it?”

“We have to make a few changes.”

Susan turned away to pour a bag of chocolate chips into the big bowl of cookie dough she was mixing. “What kind of changes?”

“Something that will draw in more customers.”

“I’ve been thinking of making my frosted pumpkin cookies more than a seasonal offering. They always do well.”

“We need something bigger than that.”

“Why? It’s a bit of a struggle right now, but I’m getting by.”

Jada could hear the defensiveness in her voice. “Barely. And what will you do when sales drop in the winter?”

“I’m hoping they won’t drop.”

Although that wasn’t very realistic, Jada didn’t say so. “Why not try something new? Something more unexpected than adding a seasonal cookie as a permanent offering?”

“Why would I do that? This is a cookie shop, Jada. That’s what we sell.”

“It doesn’t have to be all we sell. Why not go big?”

“If you’re talking about adding ice cream, forget it. Maya’s already mentioned it. I doubt that’s going to help us during the winter, and the summer’s halfway over.”

“People still eat ice cream in the winter, especially if it’s sandwiched between two soft chocolate chip cookies. And it won’t take long to get a freezer in here, so we could end the summer with a bang.”

“That would require a much bigger investment than I can afford. Maybe when I get this place turned around—”

“You might not get it turned around unless you make the investment,” Jada said. “That’s the problem.”

“It’ll be fine.”

“It might not be. Look.” Jada put down a cloth on the table where her mother typically rolled out the sugar cookies. “Can you stop baking for a few minutes and come over here? I’ve done an analysis I think you should take a look at.”

“An analysis? You had to do an analysis to show me that I can’t afford to add ice cream?”

“If it boosts sales, you can afford it. It might even save the shop.”

“It’s a risk,” her mother said with a frown.

That was something Susan didn’t feel comfortable with. She no longer had Jeremiah with whom to discuss these things and, with her health, she was scared. Jada understood that, but protecting against failure by not trying new things often resulted in failure. “Opening this shop was a risk, but you did it. Now we need to do what it takes to see it through.”

Her mother gave her a funny look. “You sound like your father.”

“And you miss him. I know that. So do I. But he’s not here. So Atticus and I need to step up.”

She wiped her hands on a dish towel. “Did Atticus tell you he’s looking for a job?”

“He did. But he hasn’t mentioned how it’s going.” And she’d been afraid to ask.

“Nothing so far.”

“How many interviews has he had?”

“Just one. He’s got another one next week.”

“He’ll find something,” she said, trying to remain positive. “Do you see the projections I’ve done here?”

Susan’s eyes widened as they scanned the graph Jada had created. “You think we can sell this many more cookies if we add ice cream?”

“I believe it’s a conservative estimate. It’ll give us a chance to put up a new sign, do some fun stuff on social media, get the locals back in to remind them of how good your cookies are. Why not try it?”

“Because we’ll be going into debt, spending money we need for necessities.”

Jada wondered if she really wanted to take on the liability of convincing her mother. If the ice cream sandwich idea failed, she didn’t want to be blamed. Her mother held enough against her. So she backed off a bit. “I would do it if it was my shop, but Sugar Mama belongs to you. You’re the one who has to make the decision. I just wanted to get you thinking about it.”

“Wow.” She pointed to the listing for a freezer Jada had printed out and included with the paperwork. “You’ve even found someone who’s selling an ice cream freezer secondhand.”

“There’s a place going out of business in Van Nuys. It’d be a drive, but Atticus and I could pick it up in his truck.”

“Then I’d better decide soon.”

“The freezer could be gone if you don’t, and the others I’ve found are much more expensive.”

The expression that settled on her mother’s face wasn’t exactly loving, but it was filled with more respect than Jada had seen there since the shooting. “I’ll let you know in the morning.”

“Okay.”

Jada was just on her way out when her mother called her name. “Yes?”

“Thanks for your help.”

Jada nodded. It was difficult to take much praise when she knew how her mother would feel about her contact with Maddox.

Maddox wasn’t going to tell Tobias about their mother. His brother didn’t need this kind of news on his first day out. Their mother claimed she had a broken nose and some scrapes and bruises, but her roommate had taken her to the emergency room, so she’d been seen by a doctor and was now resting at home. He hoped she’d be okay until he could spend a good day with Tobias and get over there later. He felt bad making her wait, knew she’d accuse him of not caring as much as he should. But she’d put so many things above him and Tobias over the years. He figured he had the right to do the same—for the sake of his brother. He wasn’t even convinced she was as bad off as she said. Knowing her, she was making a bigger deal of it than it was, trying to evoke sympathy so they’d come running. She hated being left out of going to pick up Tobias, so it might even be that she was trying to force herself right into the middle of it.

His brother was already standing outside the gate when Maddox pulled up, but if Maddox hadn’t been visiting him regularly, he wouldn’t have recognized him. Not only was Tobias taller—he had an inch on Maddox now even though he’d been shorter than him before—he’d spent a great deal of time lifting weights. A tattoo peeked out from beneath the sleeve of the blue polo shirt Maddox had sent with a pair of khaki shorts and flip-flops for when he was released. Maddox had had to send “Dress Out” clothes, as they called it, because what Tobias had been wearing when he went in no longer fit.

“Have you been waiting long?” Maddox asked as he got out of the truck and came around to embrace his brother.

“’Bout an hour. No one else was getting released today, so all the bullshit they put me through went fast.”

“What kind of bullshit was it?”

“They searched me. Searched my belongings. Made me sign an endless stack of papers. Gave me fifty dollars of my gate money.”

“I thought you were supposed to get a hundred and eighty dollars when you were released.”

“My parole officer will dole out the rest over the next sixty days. I might not know what to do with it, after all,” he added sarcastically.

Maddox didn’t comment. He didn’t want to contribute to any negativity. It was important that Tobias get along with his parole officer, so Maddox was hoping the dude would be cool. “So you’ve got fifty dollars burning a hole in your pocket, huh?”

“No. I have a check for fifty dollars. I also have that two hundred dollars from Tiffany and Jada, so I’d better get a bank account.”

“You and Tonya can head to the bank in the morning. It’ll be better to open an account close to where you live. Sorry you had to wait so long for me to come, by the way. You should’ve had me show up sooner.”

“Naw. You had to get up early enough as it was.” He looked down the road to his right and then his left. “Besides, I liked sitting here, just breathing the air and looking around.”

“Oh, so maybe we should hang out a bit longer,” Maddox joked.

“Hell, no!” Tobias tossed his small duffel bag—which contained everything he owned in the world except maybe a few keepsakes their mother had stashed away somewhere in her house—in the back of the truck. “Let’s blow this dump before they figure out a way to lock me up again.”

Maddox would’ve chuckled except he was concerned by the fact that his brother seemed to believe the justice system was out to get him. No doubt most prisoners talked like that, but the “us” and “them” mentality wasn’t going to help him on the outside. “Where should we go first?” he asked as he climbed back behind the wheel.

Tobias didn’t answer. He was too busy checking out Maddox’s truck. “This is yours?”

“Yeah. Bought it a couple of years ago.”

He whistled. “It’s nice, man.”

“Thanks.” The disparity between them made Maddox uncomfortable. It all hinged on one night, one night that, if it had gone differently, wouldn’t have changed the course of both their lives. “Let’s go buy you a phone.”

“That’d be great. I want to text Tonya, tell her I’m out.”

Maddox did a search with his Around Me app and found a Walmart where they could get a prepaid phone, which was all Tobias could afford until he found work and got on his feet. Maddox was willing to help him out financially, but he didn’t want to spend a fortune on a phone when his brother would need other things, as well.

“You still got the cheat sheet Tiffany sent you?”

“Yeah. She’s even got the Around Me app on here. That’s what you just used, isn’t it?”

“It is.” As Maddox gave the truck some gas, his brother turned to watch the prison disappear from view. “It’s all behind you now.”

When he turned back around, he said, “I thought I’d never make it to this day.”

Maddox adjusted the air conditioner. “Was it as bad as I imagine?”

His brother rolled down the window and stuck his head out as they sped down the road. “Worse.”

Again, Maddox’s mind went through all the things he feared had happened to his brother. “You have a new tattoo.”

“Yeah.”

“I told you to wait until you got out, so you could go to someone with normal supplies, sterilized needles and colored ink.”

“I didn’t want to wait for this one.”

“What is it?” Maddox asked.

Tobias lifted his sleeve to reveal a compass.

Maddox didn’t particularly care for Tonya. As soon as they reached her place, after spending the day and having dinner together as they’d planned, she opened the door, flew out and plastered herself all over Tobias. Maddox considered that a good sign. She was obviously happy to see him. But her apartment was so filthy he didn’t feel comfortable even sitting on her couch, and his misgivings grew when she proceeded to tell them she’d lost her job working as a receptionist for a construction company a week ago and was going to sue the company for sexual harassment. Although Maddox would’ve sympathized had he gotten the impression she was truly a victim, the way she talked and laughed about the suit led him to believe she was just trying to get revenge on her boss for letting her go because she wouldn’t stay off her cell phone at work.

Maddox was careful not to show his concern. He knew Tobias couldn’t think of much beyond her curves and her hot kisses—she’d made certain of it by wearing very little—and Maddox was determined not to ruin his brother’s first day out. But when it came time to go, he had a hard time leaving Tobias behind. He was afraid after he was gone Tonya would pull out a crack pipe or something and wondered if Tobias wouldn’t be better off staying with their mother.

“Shit,” he muttered as he walked to his truck. The last thing Tobias needed was someone who’d get him into trouble again.

Maddox pulled out of his parking space, then almost pulled right back into it but ultimately went ahead and peeled out of the lot. No way would Tobias leave with him even if he did go back. Not right now. They were probably already in bed together.

Traffic was so bad that by the time he reached his mother’s, it was almost nine. She’d called him several times and left him angry voice messages, which he’d listened to when Tobias was in the restroom. She was furious that he hadn’t brought Tobias directly to her house to make sure she was okay and, truth be told, he felt a little guilty that he hadn’t, especially now that he wasn’t convinced Tonya was any better for him.

With a sigh, he sat in his parked vehicle and stared at the light shining through the curtains. This wasn’t the place where he’d grown up. His mother had moved several times since then. They’d never stayed in one spot longer than a year or two. But it was similar. They were basically all the same.

Before he climbed out, he checked his phone, hoping that Jada had broken down and texted him. He felt like he needed her. At the very least, he wanted her.

When he saw that she hadn’t responded to anything he’d sent her last night, he wrote, Just in case you ever doubt it, you’re doing the right thing staying away from me. I don’t have anything to offer you.

He pressed Send as he prepared himself to deal with the mess that was his mother.