34

You must be close to guessing by now. Yes, it’s wise to ditch the tent and get a more solid shell around you. The weather’s coming in and these southern storms can cause havoc. One time I was out in the boat with my old man and we were fishing in deep water, off the edge of the shelf. It was beautiful and calm, the ocean looked like you could have walked on it. We must have pulled in a year’s worth of fish that day and my arms were sore as. Finally he said enough is enough, time to head home.

And the motor wouldn’t start. Nothing. No power, no juice, no radio.

Nothing.

Then these clouds came from nowhere and within half an hour it was pissing down and blowing a gale. And we were up and down like a cork in a spa, taking water into the engine compartment. Dad stayed calm, taking shit apart, going hmmm and putting it back together again. I was getting spewy and saying sorry to God for being such a little bastard but would he please just let the motor start so we could get the fuck out of there.

And Dad put his arm around my shoulder and said, ‘Doesn’t look too good right now, does it?’

Well, no.

‘What do you think we should do, son?’

Cry. Drink all the beer even though I’m only ten. Shout help. ‘Send up a flare?’

He clapped me on the back. ‘Fucking genius.’

‘Activate the EPIRB?’

‘Guru. My oath.’

‘Try again with the engine?’

‘I can die happy. My son is not an idiot.’

And he tried again. And the boat started. And I withdrew my apology to God. Later he told me that the engine was fine. He was just checking on how useless I really was. The message was: think things through and keep your options open. Stay calm when the storm closes in.