Thanks for Your Help
I am deeply grateful to those many individuals who have helped me throughout the process of envisaging, researching, and writing this resource. The book would never have happened if Pat Gilmore had not given me the idea and kept reminding me of the need for a “funeral book” over the years.
Mike Schwartzentruber and Ellen Turnbull at Wood Lake Books encouraged me in the early stages of writing and helped me shape the manuscript. Then the resource in its first draft form was sent out to a series of educators and ministers who gave their comments and answered my questions. I am grateful to John Young of Queen’s University and William Kervin of Emmanuel College, who put me in touch with former students who have been so helpful in looking over the manuscript. I am grateful for the cooperation of Jennifer Janzen-Ball, Coordinator of the Designated Lay Ministry Program, for reviewing the manuscript and for suggesting former students from her program who could help me.
My thanks also go to Susan Lukey, editor of Gathering, who has provided me with resources from that wonderful publication, and to Alan Gaunt, who allowed me to use and adapt some of his prayers. Alan’s writing inspired me early in my ministry to move from using other people’s resources to writing my own.
The staff of several funeral establishments have contributed from their experience, and I am particularly grateful to Brent Trudell of Jenkins Funeral Home, Craig Sandberg of Blake Funeral Chapel, and Ronald Baker of the Northwest Funeral Alternative, all of Thunder Bay, Ontario, and to Brenda Hamilton of the Providence Funeral Home, Summerland, British Columbia.
Kelly Phipps of the Penticton Bereavement Centre in British Columbia provided me with resources and valuable contacts. I learned a whole lot from Sam Mercier, a celebrant, and from Andrea Turner of the Andy Moog Hospice in Penticton and Michelle Webb. Susan Kast was a great source of information about the grief of children, and I drew on the experience of Tom Melvin (in his article in Gathering) in this same area. Thanks, too, to Maria Ling for some good suggestions.
The core of insights and inspiration for the book came from those who, week by week, are called on to stand beside those who are dying and their families and then have the challenge of conducting the service or celebration for them. I was encouraged and learned so much from Lynda Goy-Flint and Gordon Flint, Doreen Hewitson, Armand Houle, Wayne Jarvis, Roger Manuel, Don Stiles, Wanda Stride, and Laura Turnbull.
Bob Root has provided many inspiring prayers and other liturgy, while thanks are also due to Cynthia Breadner for her liturgical pieces, which, she says, are “inspired and rooted in the spiritual direction of the late Fred Joblin of Orillia, Ontario.” Thanks also to Linda Sobottka of the Suicide Prevention Resource Center for her help and permission to use the excellent resources of that organization, while it has been most useful to consider the non-Western context of bereavement in the African context through the eyes of Emmanuel K. Ofori. And thanks to Robert Wright, Minister of Goodfish Lake and Saddle Lake, Alberta, for his help.
Last, but not in any way least, thanks to my wife, Kathy, who has lost me on many occasions when I was researching or writing the book. Her quiet, loving support and considered judgment have been strength to me over the nearly two years of writing.
David Sparks