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Ben stared out the windshield and glanced back at Troy sleeping in the back of the car. His face was a battered mess, and yet somehow Ben was grateful. He offered a silent prayer, heavenward.
I know it has been a long time, God, but I need your help. I’ve messed up a lot and burned so many bridges in this lifetime; I’m not sure I deserve the forgiveness I seek. I need it, though, and I hope that Living River Ranch can help my spirit and Troy’s body after a long journey down the wayward road. Please let my sister welcome me, and I promise if you help with this one tiny request, I will stay true and on the right path going forward. Amen.
Ben realized what he was asking, and understood if the answer ended up being no. Amy had kept her distance and told him he wasn’t welcome back in her life until he cleaned himself up. The drugs were just a means to dull the pain after losing their daddy in such a manner as they had; his world had spun out on him. Then there were buddies lost to senseless military actions across the globe, and other missteps had cost him dearly.
Forgiveness was earned; he could always remember Pastor Necome telling them from the pulpit when he was a kid. He hadn’t earned it yet, but looking into the backseat at his best friend’s battered face, he knew he would have to swallow his pride by putting himself on a better path finding a way home into the hearts of those he felt he could love and cherish. The alternative road he had been on passing from one tough situation to the next had taxed his soul. Now he knew his home in Little Bend was calling his name.
As he passed through the sleepy small town, still slumbering, mostly, he felt a slight hitch in his heart. There were so many great memories of friends, baseball, part-time jobs, high school crushes, and his sweet sister; all left behind by his choices. He saw the cemetery beckoning from just out back of the church and turned the wheel slightly to park to the left of the old white building. Glancing back once again to confirm Troy was still asleep, he unfolded himself from the vehicle.
Slicking his hair back, he tried to straighten the rumpled shirt. His momma would have something to say about his appearance. A tiny tear traveled down his cheek as he put one foot in front of the other and made his way to the tiny plot. When he had left town, it had just been his father resting there, but the new marker announcing his mother had joined his daddy in heaven broke him up. He knelt in the snow, disregarding the cold.
“I’m sorry, momma,” he whispered. “I should have come back to pay my respects sooner.”
He recalled her sweet face, and it caused a tear to float down his cheek. She had been the best mother, and yet it hadn’t been enough to curb his anxious soul. He could never explain why he had tried her in the manner he had or chosen to ignore Amy when she left all those messages pleading for his return during the funeral. He wasn’t a strong man, or at least he hadn’t been. Sometimes, though, God has a path he intends for us to take, and that path may be something to get us back on track like the night he found Troy. He refused to lose another friend in such a violent manner as the streets and fast lifestyle he had been taking part in. Troy had been one of the good guys trying to help them; it had been unfair what occurred.
Troy had given up on life since that night, and Ben recognized the look when he visited him in the hospital. He also knew of the single place that could heal them both, he had met Troy at the hospital on the day of his discharge, piled him into the car and just drove.
“I miss you too, daddy,” he said, slightly. “I’m home now and will make amends. I hope you both are happy together, and I plan to make you proud from here on out.”
He hadn’t partaken in a single drug for over six weeks now, starting even before he had met Troy. The pain was keeping him motivated, rather than driving him to suppress it. That was the difference he realized that would get him over the finish line of seeking help to turn this tide into a positive for his life.
As he turned to go, he saw Pastor Necome standing there. The man was a steadying force, and one of the few people who knew so many of his secrets. He walked forward as he opened his arms wide to accept Ben’s entire heaving body.
The sobs wracked his weak frame for several minutes before he felt ready to raise his head.
“I’m sorry, Pastor.”
“I’m a messenger for the best example of forgiveness, Ben. You always have a place in my house, but your genuine test will come in those you wronged elsewhere.”
“I’m ready,” he said resolutely.
“Welcome home, then.”
“Thanks, it’s been a long time coming. Thank you for helping Amy through momma’s last days, and I’m sure everyone rallied around her.”
“This is Little Bend; you know we did. You made it back in time, though, for Ray and her to marry. I’m sure she will love having you there.”
Ben broke out in a smile, “I always thought they would find a way back to each other.”
“Life has a funny way of putting you back where you need to be when the time is right, of course.”
Ben nodded, patting Pastor Necome on the shoulder, he wiped his eyes and started toward the car. It was almost opening time at Living River Ranch nursery, and he had a sister to see about a homecoming.
