Chapter 1
Meet Mr Flamingo

Hello. Do you know who I am? I do, because I’m me. I’m Mr Flamingo and I’m absolutely splendid. Guess how many fish I can catch in one day? LOADS. Also, look at my beak, it’s tremendous. And if that weren’t already enough look how brilliant I am at standing on one leg. It’s no wonder everyone around here thinks I’m superb – I am. The other thing is, I’m very pink and what do you think of that? I think it’s marvellous. Do you know why I’m so pink? It’s because of all the little shrimps I’m eating all day. The little shrimps have got strange chemicals in them which make them pink and those strange chemicals make my feathers pink too. Isn’t that something?

Also, have you met my wife? Her name is Mrs Flamingo and she is very attractive. All the other flamingos totally wanted to marry her but I soon put a stop to that by kicking them into the water and jumping up and down on them until they knew who was the boss. Then, after everyone knew who was the boss (me), I went up to Mrs Flamingo and I said, ‘See who is the strongest and the most attractive? It is me.’ And Mrs Flamingo (who was just called Miss Flamingo back then) agreed and soon we were married in the Church of the Golden Hippopotamus down by the mudflats. It’s great being married, you should try it some time. We’ve been married for nearly nine years now and in all that time we’ve hardly ever argued. And we’ve got two lovely children, Michael and Penny.

So anyway, now you’ve met my family it’s time to tell you of the time the rhino came to town. It was a lazy Saturday afternoon and I was idly preening my beautiful feathers when