Chapter Nineteen

It wasn’t as though Honey pulled the trigger that killed Brian. It could be argued that Honey was the trigger by her interference.

Unsure of what to do, Meredith wrestled with these two separate ideas. No one asked or coerced Shorty to kill Brian. Hadn’t she complained to Honey about her marriage and how she felt trapped? Her complaints were nothing but a cry for help and Honey stepped in. Then, a series of events, tangled up in one another and led to her husband's brutal end. If she were honest, life was better without him.

I’m as bad as them. I’d be a hypocrite to say otherwise.

These thoughts delayed her immediate impulse to rush to Curtis with fresh accusations about people in his county. There was also the possibility he’d only say she was meddling once again, jumping at shadows and believing the worst in the people around her. It was easier to keep her mind a blank and block the emotions threatening to overwhelm her. This is how people have mental breakdowns, she thought. Maybe I’m already in the middle of one and don’t know it, she considered.

And then there was Jacob. There was something wrong in Twin Lakes. Even Jonathan hinted at it with his cryptic remark that country justice would settle things out. Caro knew something too and wanted to keep outsiders away.

Meredith focused on the present, feeding herself and her kids, taking Jamie to the bus stop and working her shift at the hardware store. She reminded herself Brooke wasn’t at school to threaten her daughter, while on leave for mourning. With her class over, she didn’t need Honey to watch Atticus. The house couldn’t be repaired until the spring and there was money enough to get them through the next few months. There was no reason she couldn’t ignore all her problems. For now. Avoidance was a successful strategy for her in the past, most of the time.

The bus was late arriving at the store parking lot a few days after Jonathan’s confession, just late enough that Meredith was starting to worry. Winter swept through the valley this last week of school before the holidays and roads were treacherous. Sliding off the road near Twin Lakes eroded her confidence about her own winter driving skills. She decided Jamie was safer in a big vehicle driven by a well-trained professional who was used to driving on county roads under all conditions.

Three other cars lined up next to her vehicle; other parents also waiting for their children to arrive. She recognized none of them and returned her attention to the road where the bus would eventually appear. She was startled when her passenger door swung open and a woman climbed in next to her, a heavy scent of laundry soap filling the car as she closed the door.

“Hey there. I’ve been wanting to meet you forever.” The woman flashed an enormous smile, teeth slightly crooked in her mouth.

“Um, hi.”

She introduced herself as though Meredith should have already known who she was. “I’m Stacey. Jonathan’s sis. I work at the city office, if you can call what I do work. And you’re Meredith—the Meredith everyone talks about ’round here. You might as well be famous.”

Stacey spoke in a rush, her voice breathy and eyes wide, scanning Meredith from head to toe. She turned in her seat where Atticus in his car seat stared back at her. “And this must be Atticus, Jamie’s little brother. Hi-ya little fella.” She scooted back around. “We should get together for coffee. I’m free pretty much most of the time.”

Meredith gaped at her. Long, manicured nails were a direct contrast to her bowl haircut. She topped her sweatpants with a sequined bomber jacket. The only makeup she wore was a beauty mark at the side of her mouth. From head to toe, she was a mismatch, a woman still seeking her own definition.

She didn’t want anything to do with Jonathan’s sister, yet another Hay City person to be wary of. She worked up an excuse. “I…I work part-time…”

“…at the hardware store.” Stacey interrupted, finishing the sentence. “I know. Doesn’t matter. We’ll get together in the morning, when Jamie’s in school. But make it after eleven; I’m a late sleeper. Can’t help myself, I’ve always been a night owl.”

Meredith glanced down the road, her brow furrowed. The invitation was nice on the surface; in any other situation, it would be good to expand her circle of friends. Especially since Honey was crossed off her list. Right now, though, she was worried about her daughter. She wondered if the woman had a cell phone to call the school about the missing bus.

“I’m a working girl too. City clerk. You already know all about me, I’m sure. My little brother…” Stacey gave a strange giggle. “…I call him little even though he’s a giant…he’s always happy to fill in for me. No big deal. I’m picking up Rio today. We help each other out. What else is family for?”

Meredith barely heard the woman’s chatter, her worry rising as the minutes ticked by. “Do you think something happened to the bus? Should we call the school? They’re late by forty-five minutes, almost an hour now.”

Stacey waved her hand in dismissal and chatted on like a woman starved for conversation. “Oh, the bus’ll show up. You can come by my place if you want. Though I should warn you, I’m not the most finicky housekeeper. My dad lives with me, too, but he mostly stays in his room watching porn now he has a pension from the mine. Whatever. I don’t care, as long as he keeps the volume down. We live in the house that looks like a barn, back behind the coroner’s office.”

A rectangular yellow shadow appeared on the horizon, moving slowly toward them. Her heart leaped. “There it is,” she said in relief.

The other woman glanced toward the road with disinterest and then raised her eyebrows. “So. Tomorrow then? Jonathan can fill in for me at work.”

Finally, anxiety over Jamie’s bus quieted, she made a quick decision. “Sure. Okay,” she agreed. It seemed easier to get out of work at the hardware store than to say no to this woman.

Stacey heaved a sigh and opened the car door. “Thank God. This town is dead. I want to hear all about California. I’m going there someday, soon as I get some money saved and…”

The car door slammed shut mid-sentence and the woman climbed into her car, one nearly as old and decrepit as Meredith’s. The bus rumbled into the parking lot and its door whooshed open. A moment later, her daughter was next to her, full of chatter about school and the holiday party planned in the classroom. Meredith barely heard her, her mind on Stacey. The woman was a study in contrasts and appeared to be sincere in her wish to be friends. And a friendly chat would be a nice distraction from her own melancholy musings. Did the woman know about her brother’s ideas about country justice? As Meredith pulled out of the parking lot, she realized there was only one way to find out.

Anyway, the next day also marked another milestone in her life. I’ll be twenty-five.

****

“Happy birthday, I guess.” Deli boy slouched against the case of cold cuts, a bottle of window cleaner in one hand and a dirty rag in the other. His tone was devoid of good wishes.

She stopped in her tracks. She didn’t intend to buy any of her usual turkey and ham on this shopping trip. This was just a quick stop to pick up a coffee cake or donuts on the way to Stacey’s house, not wanting to show up empty-handed. It was too bad the baked goods were next to the deli counter.

“How did you know?”

“Giant Jonathan. You just missed him. You guys together now?”

“Not likely.” The last thing she wanted was to be linked with the man. Not before their last conversation and certainly not now. Not ever. But how would Jonathan know today was her birthday?

Deli boy squirted the cleaner at his case and over spray landed on the roast chicken inside. “Probably good. You have enough kids already.”

She glared at him.

“So, what are you?” he continued, wiping the glass in bored circles. “Like thirty, thirty-five?”

Suspicious he was trying to provoke a response, it needed to be corrected before he started rumors she was pushing forty. Besides, her vanity was tweaked. “Twenty-five.”

His mouth dropped open. “Really? You have a lot of wrinkles.”

She gritted her teeth and shoved the cart past him. It wasn’t true; deli boy would say anything to get under her skin. For some reason, he’d made her his special target. Twenty-five wasn’t old. Neither was thirty-five, not exactly, but she’d rather not be mistaken for a thirty-something just yet. What if someone mistakes me for Atticus’s grandmother instead of his mother?

She swerved her cart into the cosmetics aisle and browsed moisturizers. Aloe, glycerin, silicone and…she peered closer to make sure she was reading this right…even urea. Urine?

Deli boy was at her shoulder, a smug expression on his face as he eyed the shelves. “Need help?”

“Not from you. Thanks.” She turned to go, furious he caught her out, seeking ways to smooth her wrinkles.

“Wait.”

“What?”

His egg-shaped Adam’s apple twitched under a skinny neck. “You’re selling baby rabbits? Any left?”

Meredith considered whether there could be any land mines connected to his question and decided it was safe to answer. “A few.”

“I wouldn’t mind having one.”

That morning before heading to the bus stop, they frantically searched for the nearly-month-old rabbits, loosed from the cage by Jamie. The juveniles were hopping fuzz-balls with large almond-eyes and soft ears laid back on their shoulders. Once freed, they scattered throughout the trailer, crawling under the bed, behind the refrigerator and in a crevice by the stove. Meredith grabbed a broom and poked and scooted them into Jamie’s hands. Once again, they’d made it just in time for the bus, honking to keep it from leaving her kindergartner behind.

“They’ll be ready to go by New Year’s,” she said, then considering whom she was talking to, added, “Payment in advance.”

His face was eager and boyish. “Fifteen dollars, right?”

She nodded and he fumbled under his apron for his wallet, and plucked out three five-dollar bills, limp and strangely damp.

“You aren’t going to do anything…weird…with it, are you?” Her daughter would never forgive her if someone ate one of Grendel’s offspring.

He looked at her with disgust. “I’m not a monster.” Deli boy stomped away, toward his counter. “Why would you say that?”

She tucked the moist bills into her coat pocket. One down, she thought. Four to go.

****

Stacey started talking the moment she opened the door. She snatched the bag of cookies from Meredith’s hand and waved her and Atticus inside. “Rio is so excited about getting one of Jamie’s rabbits. He talked about it all yesterday. I guess Jonathan said yes. Rio’s mom is less than excited, but she’ll come around. Come on in.”

The woman gestured into the converted barn, leading the way to a couch piled with folded laundry and magazines. Meredith set Atticus down and started the process of stripping him of the layers of clothes he wore—hat, gloves, coat, and sweater. There was nowhere to put their winter gear so she stacked their belongings at the side of the couch.

Stacey, wearing faded jeans and an “I Love Kittens” sweatshirt, snatched up papers and books from a chair and plopped down. “Just throw the stuff on the floor. I warned you the place would be messy, didn’t I?”

Meredith hesitated and then carefully set a stack of magazines on the floor. Stacey selected a cookie from the bag and then handed the bag over.

“Who would ever think to have cookies for breakfast?” The woman’s eyebrows rose in approval. “People out here always do the same old thing, like doughnuts or bagels. It takes a newcomer to inject some fresh ideas. That’s why I want to go to California—to get out of this rut.”

She decided not to disclose that the store doughnuts were stale, and cookies weren’t an innovative California breakfast. The woman appeared too impressed.

“These are my favorite. Nothing better in the world than chocolate chip, although I can’t eat too much of them or I’ll never get a husband. Hard enough out here.” Stacey took a bite of her cookie and chewed vigorously, dropping crumbs to the carpet.

Meredith handed Atticus a cookie and settled him on her lap. “Have you ever been married?”

She selected a cookie and looked around for a place to set the bag. The table at her side was overwhelmed with tiny figurines and the floor was littered with bulging shopping bags. Folded men’s underwear and t-shirts were on the couch to her side. Not seeing a bare surface, she kept the cookie sack tucked at her side.

The woman waggled her ring-less fingers. “Marriage doesn’t run in my family. You’ve met my brother, Jonathan, right? He sets a bad example for the men around here.”

Meredith nibbled her cookie so she wouldn’t have to comment.

Stacey summed up the men in Hay City. “Too young, too old, too poor, too married. Slim pickings. One of these days, soon as I can afford to live on my own, I’m leaving. Now…” The woman leaned forward. “…tell me about California.”

She did her best to entertain her host with descriptions of long stretches of beach, streets on end lined with stores and restaurants, blue skies, and warm winters. Stacey ate two more cookies, her jaws slowing as she listened in rapt attention. Meredith noticed the beauty mark on the woman’s cheek had disappeared.

“I knew it,” she crowed. “I ask everyone who’s been there and they all say the same thing so the stories must be true. Sounds like heaven.”

“I was starting to think the same thing about Hay City,” Meredith said, surprising herself. “Big mountains, quiet nights. We get deer grazing in our backyard. I’ve never seen so much open space.”

“But it’s so borrrrring here.” The other woman stretched out the word and rolled her eyes. “I suppose maybe not for you. You’ve been up in Twin Lakes with those poisoning deaths. What’s the story up there, anyway?”

Meredith was instantly on alert. Stacey said “poisoning deaths.” Plural. “The last I heard, they were waiting to exhume Jacob Burns’ body.”

Stacey waved a hand. “Done and done. Jonathan filled me in. He heard our sheriff talking on the phone. Once they knew they were looking for poison, they found it straight away.”

Meredith wanted to jump off the sofa and race to Curtis’s office. She wanted to…to do something, anything, but what?

“Guess the sheriff is asking all sorts of questions now,” the other woman went on. “People up there are getting pretty upset.”

“You know more than I do,” she said flatly, more than a little annoyed Curtis didn’t tell her this news. “Did you hear what kind of poison?”

Atticus wiggled off her lap to the floor and began exploring the room. She monitored him out of the corner of her eye, thinking the place was anything but childproof.

“Jonathan didn’t find out,” Stacey said with a laugh. “The sheriff caught him listening and kicked him out of the office.”

There was a crash and Atticus squealed. Christmas ornaments rolled across the floor, pouring out of a large plastic bag underneath a table.

She jumped up and grabbed the ornaments, checking for damage as she gathered them into a pile. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

The other woman rose and grabbed another cookie before returning to her seat. “No biggie. I have lots of those old things. Just stuff them back in the sack.”

Meredith finished cleaning up the mess and then settled back on the sofa, this time holding firm onto Atticus. She handed him another cookie, paused, and took another one for herself as well. While they all chewed, she wondered what else the other woman knew. Stacey eyed the cookie bag pointedly and she handed it over.

“Sooo…” This came through a mouthful of cookie. “What’s the story on you and the sheriff?”

She reddened. “We’re friends.”

“Really good friends, I hear.” Stacey’s tone was matter-of-fact. “That’s okay. When you and I are better acquainted, you’ll tell me everything. We’ll do this again soon, okay?”

She stood, feeling slightly nauseated. At some point, they’d eaten all dozen cookies.

They walked to the door. “I’m so glad we’re going to be friends,” Stacey pronounced. “At least until I get out to California.”

They agreed to get together again and Meredith promised to buy more cookies, which elicited another crooked smile. During the slushy drive home, Meredith realized she enjoyed talking with the mixed-up Stacey. And she learned one key piece of news: Both men in Twin Falls died of poison.

****

Curtis didn’t answer his phone and wasn’t in his office all afternoon. Her mood darkened as she considered he was avoiding her but lifted when she realized he was probably in Twin Falls seeking evidence. As she tucked Jamie into bed that night, her daughter suddenly sat up. “I have an important question to ask.”

Meredith sat back, waiting.

“Can I have an inner net for Christmas? Karin has one. So does Rio. Everyone in my class does.”

She smiled. “What do you know about the internet?”

“If you have one, you can watch movies all the time and learn a bunch of stuff. Karin says all the books in the world are in one. But I don’t think so.” Her daughter sounded doubtful. “It would have to be bigger than our whole house.”

Meredith didn’t know how to describe the internet so a five-year-old would understand so she didn’t attempt it. “We’ll try.” She gave Jamie a hug. “You know I’m trying really hard, right?”

“Mommy, are we poor?”

She gazed down at her daughter, her heart twisting. When she was a child, at times homeless, the question never occurred to her. The teasing over her thrift store clothes and poor kids’ lunch didn’t start until middle school.

“I suppose to some people we are. To people with more than us, we’re poor. There are lots of people who have much, much less. To them, we’re rich.”

“Rio doesn’t have any rabbits,” Jamie said, considering. “Or a little brother. We have two houses too; our big house and our trailer.”

Meredith smiled. Two houses. She’d never considered their state of affairs that way. “We have lots, don’t we?”

The girl scooted under her blankets, laying back down. “Rio’s dad says he can have one of Grendel’s babies.”

She settled the blankets around Jamie and smoothed her curly hair. Her daughter closed her eyes. The world was so simple when you were young. The older you got, the more complicated things were. At least another one of those blasted rabbits was spoken for. Two rabbits gone. Three to go.

Happy birthday to me.