CHAPTER 16
Beth
Soon after Sam told Beth about his daughter, she noticed a shift in him. His smile came easier and he seemed more lighthearted, teasing and joking with her. It was as if sharing his past had lifted a heaviness from his shoulders. He’d always been gentle with her, tender and caring. In the days after his late-night visit, his eyes shone bright and clear without the cynical gleam she’d noticed in him the first night they’d met. After their talk it seemed his cynicism disappeared altogether. It was as though sharing what had happened with his daughter had cracked the wall he’d built around his heart so that healing could begin.
She continued with the pool therapy, and just as Cassandra had promised, Beth made remarkable progress. Sam didn’t go into the water with her again, as it wasn’t necessary. She’d conquered her fear for the most part, and every day it got easier until she was forced to admit she actually enjoyed her pool time.
The last week of her rehab, Beth was walking steadily, leaning on a cane. She was due to be released at the end of the week and she couldn’t wait.
Her aunt came to visit early Tuesday morning. As soon as she walked into the room, she announced, “I’ve talked to the head of the facility and I’m taking you out this evening.”
“Out?” Beth had to wonder what her aunt had planned. “You mean out of the building?”
“Yes, love. What did you think I meant?”
“I don’t know.” Beth tensed as she mulled this over and realized she didn’t feel ready. “I don’t think I can…”
“You can and you will. Everything’s already been arranged. We’re going to dinner at a funky Mexican place I discovered that serves—”
“But Sam is expecting me to be here.” Thankfully, Beth had a good reason to refuse.
“Tell him you’ve got plans for the evening,” her aunt suggested, immediately dismissing her excuse.
Although she tried, Beth couldn’t think of a way to roadblock her aunt. It took her a few moments to realize how silly she was being. One would think she’d want to get away for a short while. It’d been a month since she’d last been anywhere. This was crazy. More than anything, she wanted to get back to her everyday life, teach her classes, get involved in the activities she’d only begun to do.
It was then that Beth had an epiphany. It came to her that the rehab center had become her safe place, a cocoon where she was comfortable and could hide from life. All her needs were met without her having to do much of anything. Worries, concerns, fears were on the other side of the glass door.
Lost in her thoughts, Beth took a moment to realize her aunt was talking to her. “You aren’t going to disappoint me, are you?”
“No, I’m not,” she said, gathering her resolve. “Sam will understand. It’s time to par-tee.”
Sunshine laughed and floated about the room. “You’ve been cooped up in here far too long. It’s time you got reintroduced to the world.”
“You’re right, it is.”
“It’s going to be fun,” her aunt promised, gripping hold of Beth’s hands and squeezing her palms together. “We’ll have fish tacos and tostadas and drink shots of tequila.”
Beth smiled. It’d been far too long since she’d had good Mexican food.
“I’ll be by to collect you around five-thirty.”
“Perfect.”
Her aunt left soon afterward. Beth was impatient for Sam’s call at noon.
“Sunshine is taking me out of the facility tonight,” she blurted out as soon as they connected.
“That’s great, babe.”
“At first I didn’t want to go and I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. I’m dying to get back to normal, to reconnect with my students and back to the classroom. And yet I found myself looking for excuses not to go.”
“Babe, that’s crazy.”
“I know. Then I realized I feel safe here…leaving means getting into a car again. Because the rehab center is next door to the hospital, an aide wheeled me over. I haven’t been in a car since the accident. Then I thought what if I’m in another accident? What if—”
“Beth,” he said, interrupting her. “Stop. It’s only natural to be afraid after everything you’ve been through.”
“I think I should see a shrink.”
“What you’re feeling is only natural. If you need to talk to someone, then talk. Don’t let fear paralyze you.”
“You think I should see a professional about this?”
“Do what you need to do. You can’t stay at the rehab center the rest of your life.”
“I know,” she murmured, but now, when she was days away from leaving, she felt the unnatural fear of going back to her life the way it once was. She’d grown accustomed to the routine of the facility, the orderliness, the structure. Once she walked out those doors, her life would change. That was what she wanted, right? What she’d hungered for.
“You’ve gone quiet again,” Sam said, drawing her attention back to the present. “What’s going through that beautiful head of yours?”
“It’s more than getting in a car, Sam,” she admitted, her voice dropping.
“What’s on your mind, babe?”
“Us,” she whispered. “I’m afraid what will happen to us once I’m released. It’s all going to change and—”
“I had no idea you were such a worrier,” Sam said, cutting her off. “Nothing will change the way I feel about you, Beth, I can promise you that. Not a single damn thing.”
Relaxing, she leaned back and smiled. “I think you owe Owen a dollar.”
“I’m pretty sure damn is in the Bible,” Sam argued. “You’re missing the point. What we have is real. I’m not letting anything get between us.”
“My mother…”
“We’ve already crossed that bridge and we’re still together,” Sam reminded her.
Her mother had remained suspiciously quiet after her short visit, which wasn’t the least bit reassuring. Beth was convinced Ellie Prudhomme was working behind the scenes and had something drastic planned. She didn’t know what it could be, but like Sam said, she’d cross that bridge when necessary.
“You think I should go with Sunshine?”
“Of course, and be prepared to have a good time. I want you to have fun, to remember what it is like to laugh again.”
“I laugh with you,” she reminded him. It was one of the things she loved about him most. Sam had a quick, easy laugh that made her want to laugh herself whenever she heard it.
“And you’ll laugh with me again.”
Beth felt better after talking to Sam. Nothing he said was profound, but he made sense. It wasn’t like she could avoid riding in a car the rest of her life, or driving one, for that matter. Sooner or later she would need to face that demon and swallow down her fears. Funny how once she admitted to one fear, two or three others immediately leaped into the fray. They were like balls bobbing to the surface of her consciousness, shooting up so fast they zoomed into the air before she could beat them down.
Stiffening her resolve, she said, “I’ll go and I’ll have a wonderful time.”
“That’s my girl.”
She smiled, happy to be considered his girl.