CHAPTER 30

Sunshine

It was the weekend before Thanksgiving and Sunshine knew her niece was up to something. She wasn’t sure what that little darling had cooked up, but whatever Beth had in mind was sure to be interesting.

“I have a surprise for you,” Beth had told her a few days earlier. Her eyes were bright with excitement, and it seemed all she could do not to spill what it was right then and there.

“A surprise?”

“A good one, I hope.”

“You hope?” This didn’t sound right. Beth was excited and at the same time unsure. Now, that was interesting. “You better tell me what it is.”

Beth’s eyes gleamed with barely suppressed anticipation. “Sorry, I can’t. My lips are sealed. I will tell you that it’s one I’ve been working on for several weeks now, ever since we…” Her eyes grew round and she immediately pantomimed twisting a key over her mouth. “I’m not saying another word. All I ask is that you contact me as soon as you’re home.”

“I have to go somewhere?”

“Oh yes, this is the most important part. Remember that wonderful Mexican restaurant where we ate not long ago?”

Sunshine nodded. “Of course. It’s one of my favorites.”

“When you arrive, ask for Meghan and she will lead you to your table, and your surprise will be waiting for you there.”

The details were certainly specific. Her birthday was months ago, so it was unlikely Beth was throwing her a surprise party. The sale of her artwork had gone exceptionally well in the last year, so it might have something to do with her agent. However, Bill was currently traveling in Europe.

“You sure you don’t want to give me a clue?”

“Nope. I can’t.”

“You say you’ve been working on this for a long time?”

“Weeks and weeks. The timing is critical. I can’t believe we were able to work this out.”

“ ‘We’? Is Sam involved in this?”

“Nope.”

“Anyone I know?” she pressed.

“No. Now stop asking questions, because I’m afraid I might say too much and give everything away.”

Whatever the surprise, Sunshine had to admit she was intrigued.

She parked outside the Mexican restaurant and made sure she had her phone charged and inside her purse. Beth made her promise she’d call her at the first opportunity. The doors leading into the restaurant were thick and wooden, carved with cacti that were painted green. She didn’t often dine in, but once or twice a month she phoned in an order for takeout. Her favorite was the Ranchero salad, which was similar to a taco salad but without the shell, and, of course, the fish tacos.

As soon as the hostess saw Sunshine, she brightened. She was a bit embarrassed as she didn’t know the lovely young woman’s name. “Are you Meghan?” she asked, per the instructions Beth had given her.

“I am,” she said, flashing her a huge grin. “Your party is already waiting. I’ve given you a private area so the two of you can talk.”

“You know all about this?”

“Oh yes, Beth and I worked together to set it up. The menu is already set, but Alicia will be by to take your drink order.”

Meghan led her to the back of the restaurant. It was early enough so that the dinner crowd had yet to arrive. The booths were high, so she didn’t see him until she was at the table.

Peter.

Unable to hold back her shock, Sunshine gasped. Her hand automatically flew to her heart, as if to protect it from the jolt of recognition.

To his credit, Peter looked equally stunned. His eyes widened, and all he seemed capable of doing was staring at her in complete and utter amazement.

And not in a good way.

Immediately he frowned and glared at her, as if the sight of her was as unwelcome as it was surprising.

“Sunshine,” he whispered after a moment, as if to confirm that it was really her.

“Peter.” She slid into the booth for the simple reason she wasn’t convinced her legs would continue to hold her upright.

For what seemed an interminable amount of time, all they seemed capable of doing was looking at each other. Peter had changed. He was nothing like she remembered. Thirty years ago he wore his hair long, mostly as a money-saving measure. When he couldn’t stand the thick strands flopping down and getting in his eyes, Sunshine had offered to cut it for him and he’d let her. It was an intimate task, and afterward they’d made love. Now he dressed in expensive business suits, his hair was trimmed and neat with streaks of gray. It was thinning, she noticed. His hands. His beautiful hands callused and often nicked and cut were perfectly manicured now. He was a man of the world. It seemed the artist in him had completely vanished.

Sunshine liked to think there hadn’t been nearly as many changes in her, other than age. Her thick hair, salt-and-pepper-colored now, hung freely down the middle of her back, and she continued to wear the same long skirts and loose blouses she had while in art school.

“You arranged this?” he asked suspiciously.

“No. I’m afraid this is the work of my niece.”

He huffed. “Ellie’s child, no doubt. This trick is worthy of her mother. Guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

Sunshine was tempted to defend Beth but had yet to think clearly enough to gather her thoughts. She couldn’t seem to stop looking at Peter, yearning for evidence of the man she once knew.

The waitress sauntered up to the table. “What can I get you two lovebirds to drink?”

Peter’s head snapped toward the young woman. “We aren’t lovebirds, and I’ll have a scotch.”

Alicia blinked at his waspish tone.

“Make it a double. No ice.”

She made a note of it and turned to Sunshine. “And for you?”

Sunshine admired her resilience. “Iced tea, please.”

The young woman made a hasty retreat, and Sunshine didn’t blame her.

“Was that really necessary?” she asked, keeping her voice low and calm.

“Definitely necessary. We are no lovebirds.”

“We once were, if you remember.” She hoped the gentle prompt would bring happy memories instead of dredging up the graveyard of their past mistakes and the pain they had brought to each other.

“That was a long time ago.” He started to slide out of the booth.

Reaching across the table, Sunshine placed her hand on his. “Please don’t leave.”

“Why?” he demanded. “So you can remind me that I betrayed you and sold out to my father?”

His words were like a slap in the face. “I would never do that.”

“You mean to say you don’t want to rub my face in your success?”

His words shocked her. “Peter, no, never.”

“Are you sure, Sunshine? Aren’t you even a little tempted?” he taunted.

She shook her head, barely recognizing this man as the one she’d loved beyond reason.

“Don’t you want to ask whatever happened to the boy you knew? Didn’t you ever wonder if I could have supported myself as a sculptor?”

Alicia returned with their drink order and Sunshine wasn’t given the opportunity to answer.

Peter nearly grabbed the glass out of the young woman’s hand. He drank it down in one swallow and set the empty glass aside.

Sunshine didn’t blame the waitress for making another hasty retreat.

Peter’s eyes narrowed as he glared across the table at Sunshine. “I curse the day I met you.”

The vehemence in his voice robbed her of breath. When she could, she asked him, “Do you hate me so much?” She was barely able to get the words out from the pain tightening her chest. Whatever had happened to Peter over the years had changed him to a bitter, angry man.

“I see your art hanging in galleries and I’m reminded that because of what happened with us…my entire life went down in flames. I’d like to blame Ellie, blame you. I can’t, though. I was the one who was weak, who gave up everything that was ever important to me. I’m the one to blame.”

“I’m sorry for you,” she whispered.

“You should be.”

Alicia returned with their food. Sunshine nearly groaned aloud when she saw the platters of fish tacos and one bean tostada. It was the same order they had shared on their Friday-night dates.

As the waitress placed the plate in front of Peter, he looked down at it and rolled his eyes. “This is just perfect.”

His words dripped with sarcasm.

Reaching for his empty glass, he studied the bottom as if he expected to find something there. He waved to the waitress. As soon as she appeared, he thrust the glass at her. “Give me another.”

“A double scotch?”

“Yes,” he snapped, as if that was the most asinine question he’d ever been asked.

Seeing how many years it’d been since she’d last seen Peter, Sunshine wondered if he had a drinking problem. They often drank wine together but never more than a glass each. Hard liquor was reserved for parties and neither one of them overindulged—well, other than on a few specific occasions.

“Don’t look at me like I’m an alcoholic,” he muttered, as if reading her thoughts. “I don’t abuse alcohol. At least I didn’t until today.”

His attempt at humor was weak. “You want to blame me for the way your life has gone,” Sunshine said, and it was a statement, not a question.

“I don’t blame you for a damn thing,” he insisted. “I accept full responsibility for screwing up my own life. It started with you and Ellie. I lost you both and that stupidity cost me dearly. Eventually I caved to my father’s demands. It all happened so fast like dominos toppling over on each other. One bad decision followed another. I couldn’t seem to stop myself, even knowing at the time this was all wrong for me. This wasn’t what I wanted and still I kept stumbling further and further from who I wanted to be.”

Alicia returned with his drink. He didn’t gulp it down this time. Instead, he stared into the amber liquid as if it held the secrets of the universe. “If I hadn’t already destroyed my life enough, I made another tragic mistake when I decided to marry Carolyn. She, you might be interested to know, was the worst of my screwups.” He took a big swallow of the scotch.

Neither of them had touched the meal.

“Did you ever go back to sculpting?” she asked, keeping her voice as soothing as she could manage. Anger radiated off him in waves like hot sun against asphalt on the hottest day of summer.

“Never touched it again.”

“Oh Peter.” Her heart ached for him to the point she wanted to weep. His talent had stirred her. All these years she prayed he had at least found an artistic outlet from the heavy demands of a law career. Instinctively, she realized turning his back on what he loved was the way he’d chosen to punish himself.

Because her throat felt dry and raw with sadness, Sunshine sipped her tea.

“You know what the worst part has been?” Although he asked the question, it was apparently rhetorical. “You’d think it was leaving art school or my divorce or having minimal contact with my daughters. All that should be enough to make a grown man weep, but the worst, the very worst, was knowing you’d stuck with your dreams and became a recognized and highly acclaimed artist.”

“You hate me because I’m successful?” she asked, unable to believe he would be so resentful of someone he’d once claimed to love.

“I remember the first time I saw your professional work. It was at a gallery in Chicago. I’d been married to Carolyn for about five years. Even then I knew the marriage was a mistake, but we had one daughter and another on the way. I wasn’t completely sure the baby was mine, but that’s beside the point.”

At the hurt in his voice, Sunshine closed her eyes. “Oh Peter.”

“Carolyn and I attended a charity art show and two of your paintings were on display. Not one, Sunshine, two. They were stunning, the talk of the show. The irony was that Carolyn was all over them, talking about them with her friends. If she only knew,” he said, snickering.

There wasn’t anything for her to say.

“I went numb. I couldn’t take my eyes off those paintings. They mesmerized me but not for the reasons everyone was talking about. The choice of color, the shadowing, the technique. I always knew you were talented. Everyone knew you were good. But in that moment, I realized you were quite possibly a genius. I had never appreciated how much.”

“Thank you,” she whispered, accepting his compliment.

“I hated you then, Sunshine. God forgive me, I couldn’t even bear the thought of you.”

Sunshine blinked back tears. “But why?” she asked, needing to know.

“Because the emptiness inside me exploded after that. I sank into a deep depression, dreaming of what might have happened if I’d stayed in art school. Every morning I’d head for the office with dread and self-recrimination, hating the life I’d created for myself, hating my father, hating the cheating, lying bitch I had married, knowing she hated me back.”

“How could you hate your work; you’re a successful attorney.” The expensive suit he wore said as much.

“I am one of the finest attorneys in Chicago, and I say that with no pride. Guess I have my father to thank for that. I buried myself in my work. I started winning case after case, exceeding even his expectations, but I didn’t do it because I loved the law. I did it out of anger focused at myself, the need to prove I could make something of the mess I’d created that was my life.”

“I don’t know why you gave up what you love and—”

“Don’t,” he said, stopping her by raising his hand. “Don’t say another word.”

Sitting back, resting against the padded cushion, Sunshine wiped a tear from her face.

“You think I’m pathetic, don’t you?” he demanded, as if the question was some form of joke. “Maybe I am,” he concluded.

Peter swallowed down the last of his scotch. “I don’t know what you want to say to this niece of yours. On my behalf, let her know I didn’t appreciate this little surprise she concocted. I know who she worked with. My office receptionist told me she found this restaurant online. She actually made the reservation for me. Said it was hard to get a table. What a joke,” he said, looking around the near empty room. “Tell your niece that Sondra Reacher will no longer be employed with the firm. I’m firing her first thing Monday morning.”

“Beth meant no harm, Peter.”

“Perhaps not, but I don’t appreciate her intrusion in my life.” He slid out of the booth. “I’d like to say it was a pleasure to see you again, Sunshine, but the truth is I wish I’d stayed in Chicago.”

With those parting words of bitterness, he walked out of the restaurant.

For a long time, Sunshine remained in the booth, looking into the distance and seeing nothing. When the restaurant started to fill up, she decided it was time to leave.

She was in the parking lot when her phone signaled she had a text message.

Were you surprised?

Staring at the message, Sunshine realized if she told Beth the truth, she’d be devastated. Beth had hoped Sunshine and Peter would reconcile. Her niece was looking for a fairy-tale ending, but that was not to be.

Peter wasn’t the man she remembered. He’d turned into a hostile, angry man who had let his resentment burn away a large part of his soul.

While her niece’s intentions were good, seeing Peter as he was now had stripped away the memories she’d treasured. While he claimed he accepted responsibility, he was fooling himself. He saw her as the blight in his life, the woman he wished he’d never met.

Rather than disappoint Beth, she texted back It was lovely.

Because she was upset, she drove directly to her studio, but she didn’t paint. Instead, she sat in front of the canvas and silently wept.