The titles changed, the credits changed, and the marquee is dark
The creature tore the Ritz down, now he owns the block
Twelve bucks’ll get you a ticket, for ten bucks you can park
And see high definition in a cracker box
—“Saturday Afternoon a Half Century On”
(Thornton/Andrew)
THE PRODUCERS WILL GET A DISTRIBUTOR HERE WHO I’M GUESSING will then try to get us to cut it from two hours and ten minutes to forty-seven minutes so they can get it into theaters for more showings. These distributors also think they know what they’re doing in terms of marketing, but it’s like this: let’s say you got Mel Tormé, and he makes a new record because somebody said, “Mel, these new songs, they’re fantastic. They’re like the old days, they’re amazing. So let’s put it out. But let’s put it in an album jacket where you’re wearing some big baggy shorts, flashing gang signs, and wearing a cap on sideways so we can sell it to the young people.” What happens is, the young people go buy it and they say, “What the fuck is this shit? What are these old-guy songs? I thought he was hip.” And then the people who like Mel Tormé see the album cover with his cap on sideways and go, “I’m not buying this Mel Tormé record, Jesus Christ, look at him, he looks like a gangbanger.” The next thing you know, nobody buys it.
So, believe me, when the producers get ready to go here and they start looking for the distributor, the distributor is going to say, “Well, it’s a little long,” and we’re going to say, “What difference does that make? Giant had a fucking intermission.”
Here’s the difference between now and then. We went to the movie theater on Sunday, and they had a double feature, and you got in for thirty cents. We couldn’t wait to get to the theater to see movies, and when we could, we would stay all day. Now they can’t wait to get out of the theaters. People watch part of a movie on their phone and get sick of it and go do something else. When, or if, they finally finish watching a movie, the first thing they do is get on the Internet and tell everyone how much they hated it. Unless it’s about a video game or an angst-ridden teenage vampire.