Bellamy came awake to the feel of Eli’s breath stirring her hair, his body solid and warm behind hers, his rough palm gliding up and down her spine beneath her shirt. Firing nerve endings under the skin with the slow yet deliberate caress.
They were spooned together on his couch, where they’d fallen asleep after their talk. And wow, what a talk. He’d moved her like she’d never been moved before. Filled her heart with feelings she didn’t know how to handle. Except to acknowledge they felt good. A bit frightening, but she suspected that was because they were new and different and fragile as glass.
She started to roll over to face him but he stopped her, tightening the arm that crossed her chest just below her collarbones. “Hold still,” he murmured, the rough order like a tongue stroke across her nape.
Then his fingers deftly unhooked the clasp of her bra, that one talented hand coming around to move the lace cup aside and cover her left breast. He caught her nipple between two fingers and squeezed, then kneaded her until she arched into him, pressing her bottom to his groin.
He was hard against her, hot even through the layers of his clothing. She wanted to reach back and cup him, stroke his length with her palm, smooth it down to the tender sac beneath, squeeze and hear him groan in her ear. Feel him grow even harder and hotter from her touch.
“Unbutton your jeans,” Eli said, fingers still toying with her nipple. Her hands shook as she did as he instructed. “Push them off, but leave the underwear.” That task wasn’t as easy with his arm still holding her trapped against his chest, but she managed to wiggle them down her thighs, where he hooked a foot in the fabric and shoved them the rest of the way off. Bellamy kicked them to the floor.
“Better,” he said.
She held her breath while his hand moved down her stomach to tunnel beneath the elastic band of her panties. No teasing outside the scrap of cotton. No hesitancy either. His palm cupped her mound while a long finger eased between her lips, separating her, finding the slick entrance to her body and sliding inside. The hot intrusion pushed a low moan from her throat. He drew the dampness back up to her clit, getting her wet with her own juices so his finger could move easily along the cleft.
“I love touching you,” he said, the low timbre of his voice fueling her excitement. “Could listen to you make those sounds all night long.”
He thrust a thigh between her legs and lifted, urging her to spread for him, make room for him to work her harder. Drive her slowly mad with each stroke. Her fingers curled against his forearm and thigh, aching to cover the hand on her sex, needing something to hold on to as the pleasure built between her hips. Her face heated, lips parting with her gasping breaths.
Eli pressed his mouth to the side of her neck, using his nose to push her hair aside so his lips could brush her skin. She was on fire. Flames licked between her thighs. Beneath his fingers, her clit grew molten. Her hips rolled into his touch while behind, he pressed close to her ass, a subtle pressure on his cock.
When his teeth closed on the tender skin beneath her ear, the frenzy broke and Bellamy came, shuddering and groaning as Eli’s arm cradled her to his chest. His hand slid from her panties, impatiently shoving the material down her hips before going to his fly. He freed himself, adjusted their bodies to his liking, and slid his cock between her thighs.
His harsh “fuck” as he thrust once across hot, hypersensitive tissue made arousal flare again, scorching and so sharp it was almost painful. She felt it in her throat, low in her belly, in the palms of her hands and the soles of her feet. She squeezed her thighs together, knowing she was pushing the limits of his control, forcing him to that razor’s edge between letting go and holding back. His hand tightened on her hip as he flinched and cursed again.
“You have no idea how bad I wanna slide inside you bare.”
Bellamy almost said, “Do it,” drugged by the raw need dripping from his comment, but she swallowed the reply, waiting him out. No question it would feel amazing without the artificial barrier, and she was on the Pill, safe and clean, but now wasn’t the time for that sort of serious conversation. Not when they were both so caught up in the moment, their judgment compromised by emotion.
But then he was releasing her to scramble off the couch, common sense overtaking lustful urges. He was back in less than thirty seconds, jeans open and loose around his hips while he rolled a condom down his shaft. Just that sight made her shiver.
“Get on your hands and knees.”
Oh God, that voice. Gruff and demanding, with just a hint of desperation. His words chased another tremor down her spine as Eli worked her panties the rest of the way off her legs and snugged himself in behind her, the tip of his cock nudging once before sliding deep inside. The stretch was so unbelievably good, laced with a tinge of discomfort as her body adjusted to his size. Her head tipped down, hair falling forward against her cheeks and throat, catching in the corners of her open mouth as Eli rocked into her, bottoming out on a hard groan. His fingertips dug into her flesh, layering sensation upon sensation, pain on top of pleasure.
Bellamy curled her fingers on the fat arm of the couch, the leather soft and supple beneath her hands and knees. She lifted her head with the intent to look back at him over her shoulder when her eyes caught on their reflection in the window next to the couch. It was dark as pitch outside, transforming the smooth surface of the glass into a mirror. With the curtain pinned back, the view was unimpeded.
And to borrow a phrase from Eli, Goddamn, what a view.
Her breath caught as she watched him move—his flexing abs, shoulders and biceps tight, facial features lax as he stared down at where their bodies were joined together. The image was so erotic she felt another orgasm begin to gather in her core.
Eli huffed out a short laugh, drawing her gaze to his in the glass. “I think you might have a kinky side, honey.”
She tried to smile, too caught up in the moment to speak.
Another handful of deep thrusts, then he wrapped an arm around her waist and drew her up and back to rest against his chest, whipping her remaining clothing over her head. Their motions slowed until they found a new cadence that worked with the position, but once they were in sync, it was pure magic.
“Touch yourself. I wanna watch while I fuck you.”
Jesus. This was all so new and different for her. Never before had she been so turned-on by a man or his dirty, bossy mouth during sex. Or anytime, really. One look, one word from Eli and she was lost. Except he didn’t believe in keeping it short and sweet. No, he preferred detailed and filthy.
“That’s it,” he said as her fingers circled her clit. “When you do that, you get so tight around me I nearly come on the spot.” After a few lazy strokes, she moved them down to where his cock slid in and out of her wetly, attempting to make a tight ring of her thumb and middle finger. He grunted, pinched her nipple, saying, “Damn, you’re evil.”
She grinned. “Just trying to unravel you.”
“S’working,” he murmured, voice drunk with endorphins.
Bellamy dropped her head onto his shoulder while he thrust into her. In the glass, her expression looked hungry, the whole picture a bit lewd but no less arousing. He covered a breast with a big hand and one of hers landed on the back of his neck, fisting his hair, while her other hand worked at pushing her past the tipping point.
An orgasm that rivaled them all burst from her center, radiating outward in scalding waves, one after another, until the breath trapped in her chest turned into a sharp cry. Eli’s arm tightened. The hand on her hip slid to her stomach, holding her closer as he came, shuddering and whispering her name into her hair, the sound making her heart flutter behind her sternum.
Breathing hard, she stared at their reflection, watching as the tension gradually ebbed from their bodies. Sweat shone on her belly, on the side of Eli’s throat and high on his cheekbones. His dark hair fell across his eyes. She looked decadent, thoroughly debauched, her hair wild around her flushed face.
Who was that girl? And what was this man doing to her?
His features softened then his gaze met hers in the glass. He dropped a kiss to her shoulder before disengaging his body from hers.
“Shower,” he said, hiking up his jeans.
After a quick rinse amid playful gropes and sloppy kisses, they migrated to his bedroom. It was decorated much the same as the rest of the house—simple, masculine and homey, in soothing shades of tans and browns, the exterior walls being the natural logs with cream-colored chinking between each one. A flat-screen television hung on the wall opposite the bed. Dark green curtains covered the only window. If he did the decorating himself, she was impressed.
He tossed her one of his t-shirts to sleep in while he stepped into a pair of loose plaid boxers. So far, all she’d seen him in were the snug kind, not that these weren’t sexy too.
At Bellamy’s curious look, he said, “I like to let the boys breathe at night.”
“Ah. I’m sure they’re grateful. Why not just sleep naked?”
“Never could get into it.”
Together they climbed onto his giant manly bed with its amazing mattress and fluffy pillows and soft, rumpled sheets that smelled like Eli’s skin. Bellamy was practically snoring by the time she pulled the blanket up to her chin and he switched off the lamp on the nightstand.
“Talk to me about this vegan thing,” he said.
Now? She thought great sex was supposed to put a man into a coma.
“Must we?” She rolled onto her side to face him and cracked an eyelid.
His head was propped on one hand, his eyes much too alert for the hour. He nudged her with a knee beneath the covers. “Come on, I want to understand it.”
“Well, for starters, I’m a vegetarian, not a vegan. There’s a difference, but please don’t ask me to explain because there are varying degrees of veganism. We could discuss the particulars all night. I simply don’t eat meat. Once in a while I might have a piece of fish, but I couldn’t tell you the last time I did.”
“So for protein you just eat what? Eggs?”
Bellamy rubbed her nose. “Plus nuts, dairy, soy products, beans.”
“Huh. And you don’t miss meat at all. Not even a fat, juicy burger?”
“Nope. Even when I did eat it as a kid, it was always in small quantities.”
“Does your job have anything to do with it?”
She shrugged. “I’m sure it does in some ways, since I work with tame animals for the most part, but I doubt the majority of large-animal vets share my aversion to meat.”
“Anyone give you a hard time about it?”
“Oh yeah. Over the years, I’ve heard it all. My dad thinks it’s unnatural. Says humans didn’t climb to the top of the food chain to eat grass.”
“That’s harsh.”
“And terribly antiquated, but that’s my dad. He’s former military. Speaks his mind no matter whose toes he steps on, even if they’re his only child’s.”
“But it’s part of who you are.”
“A very quiet part, because it always throws people for a loop for some strange reason. I’ve never tried to force my choices on others or shame them for theirs.”
Eli grinned, making adorable crinkles appear at the corners of his eyes. “Well, you did trick me into eating tofu sausage.”
“To be honest, it never dawned on me to say something. We were discussing so many other things, I forgot. And it wasn’t tofu, it was soy.” She placed her palm on his chest, feeling the organ behind his rib cage thump at a steady beat. “It’s good for your heart.”
He covered her hand with his and rolled onto his back, pulling her close to his side. “You’re like the metaphorical onion. I keep discovering all these layers.”
She bit his shoulder. “I’m not that deep.”
“Definitely not that smelly.”
“But just you wait. One of these days you’ll catch me after vaccinating a litter of piglets and think differently.”
* * * * *
“I wanna show you something.”
Through the steam rising from her mug of tea, Bellamy studied Eli’s somber expression. Something had shifted in their relationship last night. She couldn’t exactly put a name to it, but she knew they’d moved way past casual territory and into something more serious, perhaps dangerous—to her heart, at least.
Dressed in faded jeans, a blue-plaid shirt that made her think of bedtime’s sexy boxers, and scuffed brown lace-up boots, his hair pushed back from his face and curling around his collar, he looked yummier than the honey she’d poured in her cup. Twice as golden.
He was the one who was layered, not her, except it was one of those mile-high confectionary masterpieces made up of thin layers of cake alternated with sinful chocolate frosting. Sweetness stacked on tenderness covered in decadence. She was just a mess of uncertainty and worry and fear.
Whatever he wanted to show her, she wanted to see. “Okay.”
Outside the sun was just cresting the horizon as they finished a simple breakfast of buttered toast and scrambled eggs. Eli polished off his coffee and took her empty mug from her hands, exchanging it for a slow kiss that curled her toes inside her boots.
Sharing a perfect morning together like this was treacherous when coupled with all the rawness and honesty from the night before. It was comfortable and easy to be with him. Addictive, even though it made her feel vulnerable. She didn’t know where they were headed, but if it was anywhere other than forever, it was going to hurt like nothing ever had before. Might even rip her to pieces.
You should get out now while you still have a chance, the logical side of her brain said, while her heart wanted to ignore the warning.
They tugged on light jackets and climbed into his truck for a short ride that ended at the spot where they’d delivered the calf. He helped her down from his jacked-up four-wheel drive, holding her hand as he led her inside the dark barn to an older-model tractor with equal amounts faded red paint and rust, no cab, and a hay spear mounted on the front.
“Climb on while I open the doors,” he said.
Dust motes danced in the beams of sunshine spilling through the interior of the barn when he pushed the big doors apart. Her nose twitched at the musty smell of hay and damp earth. This was his world, she thought, as he strolled back to her, so confident in who he was and where he wanted to be. At home and comfortable in his skin. She could admit to being a bit jealous of that swagger, if not continuously turned on by it too.
He placed one foot on the tractor’s low step and swung a long leg over the seat, snugging her back against his body once he settled in. His long thighs bracketed hers as he cranked the engine and started working pedals and levers that intimidated the crap out of Bellamy. Meanwhile, she just tried to make herself smaller to stay out of his way.
“Put your hands on the steering wheel.”
Panic rose briefly. “You’re not making me drive this thing?”
“Not yet, but you can point us out of the barn. Then once I get a roll of hay loaded, you can steer us into the pasture while I do the rest.”
Fascinated by how second-nature this was for him, she watched him deftly maneuver the double-pronged spear into a round roll of hay, then back the tractor out from under the broad overhang of the barn. Once they were moving forward again, he placed her hands on the steering wheel. They bounced across a cattle gap keeping the cows inside the pasture without the necessity of another gate. He handled the pedals, pointing toward an empty hay ring out in the field. Once they reached it, he patiently showed her which levers to push or pull and together, they got the hay dropped into the circle before backing the tractor into a small copse of trees and killing the engine. As soon as they were out of the way, the animals began to mosey over for breakfast.
Morning dew turned the spider webs between the rows of barbwire white and droopy, like wet lace hung to dry on a clothesline. Combined with the sunlight, it gilded the grass and scattered diamonds across fence posts, wire and tree limbs. Accentuated the slope and swell of the land around them. The air was so still she could hear the cows crunching the hay between their teeth. Sitting there in the beautiful quiet was cathartic in a sense, the way your mind emptied to instead soak up the peacefulness and wonder of nature. The farmers and ranchers she met always seemed to have a calmness about them she sometimes envied, and she wondered if it was because they were able to enjoy mornings like this so often.
Bellamy counted six calves trailing closely behind their mothers. Judging by the size of the herd, Eli and his brothers still had at least another fifteen births to weather. Maybe they’d get lucky and not lose any, but it was unlikely. Sooner or later, one would be lost to the elements, a random stillbirth, some bovine health issue or hungry coyotes. Sad, but true nonetheless, and all a part of raising animals.
About fifty yards from where they sat, the big Hereford bull stood sentry over his harem and offspring, keeping a watchful eye on Bellamy and Eli. He was long and made of solid muscle covering thick bone, well over half the size of the tractor. Despite his particular breed being known for having a good temperament, there was no doubt in Bellamy’s mind that if crossed, he’d defend his ground the only way he knew how—with brute force. Eli’s bull was polled, meaning he didn’t have horns and his descendants wouldn’t either, but with that kind of size and power, he didn’t need them. It still amazed her how an animal that heavy could jump and twist as quick and agilely as they did inside a rodeo arena.
Eli turned her so she was sitting sideways on his lap, resting his chin on her shoulder when she looped an arm around his neck. “I sometimes wonder if I’m not crazy for taking this on, what with all the demands farming will make on us once springtime rolls around.”
Well, someone’s mind wasn’t so quiet. “What made you want to try it in the first place?”
His sigh warmed her neck. “My brothers seem to know who they are and where they want to be. They’re both really good at things. Fritz is the farm king. For him, it comes as natural as breathin’. Sage has a talent for specifics—numbers and drawing stuff, things like that.”
Something clicked in Bellamy’s brain. “Sage draws?”
“Like you wouldn’t believe. He drew the plans for my house. Anytime we need to build anything, he’s got it sketched out, in ridiculous detail, in less than a day. I’m thirty. The oldest but the least focused of the three of us. It was high-time I got my shit together and started acting like a grownup.”
“You’ve never given me the impression that you were scattered.”
“That’s because when you’re around, I’m not.”
Her heart did a funny backflip before wedging itself firmly in her throat. Humbled and grateful that he’d chosen to share this side of himself, she pressed her mouth to his temple until she recovered enough to speak. “You’re going to be good at this, Eli. You already are. You know why I think that?”
He shook his head.
“Because you care. You want to succeed, but it’s not solely about the profits for you. It’s about doing things right, learning and growing with the process. You understand and accept the responsibility and the seriousness of the endeavor. Not everyone does. I’ve admired you for it from the very beginning.”
His arms tightened around her waist. “Thanks, Bell.”
“Where’s Clover?”
He grabbed her hand and pointed with it. “There, nursin’ her momma.”
She could see the subtle difference in size now, when compared to some of the calves born more recently. Clover looked to be about twenty pounds heavier than the day of her birth, which meant she was on par with the amount of weight she should be gaining daily. By this time next year, she’d weigh almost as much as her mother. In one ear hung a bright yellow tag with black numbers, another thing Eli was doing right.
“She reminds me of you,” he said.
That sparked a laugh. “Klutzy and gluttonous?”
“Hardly.” He laced his fingers through hers, meeting her gaze. “A little unsure of herself maybe, but smart, curious and beautiful.”