Perhaps it was the epic twelve-hour nap he’d had yesterday that had him surprisingly clearheaded now. Caleb sat by his gate, waiting for the time to tick down to catch his plane, which departed at eight. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a straight shot back to River Ice. His ass was going to feel it after a few hours. Still, he couldn’t seem to get up and walk around as much as possible. He’d been thinking a lot since yesterday and it had his brain swimming.
Jake had finally shaken him awake to inform Caleb that he was done with filming. Caleb had missed everything and had a crick in his neck to boot, but he felt rested and restored after his day long sleep.
Jake had driven them to a steakhouse and had treated since it was Caleb’s last day in Los Angeles. Caleb had downed a few too many beers but hell, it’d been worth it. He had even posed with Jake a few times as fans came up to get his autograph. Jake was right. He was going home so what the hell did he care about gossip magazines?
Jake had dropped him off at his house and made him swear to keep in touch, and to watch his movies. Through it all, Caleb thought he was fine, until he’d walked inside and heard silence. The same type of silence that waited for him back in Alaska. He thought he’d been okay with it, thought he’d gotten past it, but loving Delilah opened all the wounds and he’d given in, texting her.
She hadn’t answered.
He knelt there in the middle of the damn floor waiting for her to respond, but she didn’t. So he called. And it went straight to voice mail. He’d almost thrown the phone across the room. He’d almost got an Uber and went to her work, but her words echoed in his head.
“I. Do. Not. Love. You.”
Only now that he sat there in the airport, surrounded by hundreds of people did he start to remember more. He remembered the desperation behind the statement and the fear in her eyes. That triggered an earlier statement she had made.
“I’m scared.”
It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out she was scared of love. Hell, what did she have in her life to compare the emotion to? She’d had betrayal from the one person in the world who should have protected her, and she’d had heartache from the knowledge that she couldn’t save her sister from the same fate. Delilah downplayed a lot of it but she’d had to fight and claw for the person she was now. They were two different people, who grew up as opposite as two people could get. He didn’t buy that race was a factor and refused to play that card. Delilah was such a warm and wonderful human being. She was fun to be with and great to laugh with. She engaged all his senses.
“You need to find another Claire.”
Perhaps that’s what she really thought that he needed another woman who was Claire. But he’d laid Claire to rest and trying to revive her memory in someone else was not only disrespectful, but it dimmed Claire’s light. She always would be in his heart, but his heart now beat for Delilah.
“I want to love, and I want to feel like I’m worthy of love.”
As Caleb remembered that one shining moment from her confession, he realized what a fool he’d been. She’d fed him a line and he’d fallen, hook, line and sinker. She’d thrown out a test and he’d failed, spectacularly.
Caleb stood up and looked around. His luggage was already checked but he could call Hank and have the pilot pick up his suitcase. All he had on him was his small carryon that had one clean pair of underwear. He looked up at the clock on the wall and saw that it was close to seven. His flight would be boarding soon to take him back home, but he suddenly figured out that Alaska would never be home again if Delilah wasn’t with him. He’d be a lonely, miserable old man and thoughts of the movie Up! splashed through his mind.
She loved him, but she was fucking scared. He took off at a run toward the car rental booths.