Chapter Thirteen

 

 

 

“Oh shit!” Andy covered her mouth with her hands to keep in a small scream. Ian lying there on the cold bathroom floor was so shocking that she couldn’t comprehend she’d hit him. “I warned you. I told you to stop threatening me. I warned you.”

Somehow, that didn’t seem to dispel her horror. She bent and gently turned his head, seeing a bump but no blood.

He’d once told her that he could withstand any kind of punch, but a hit on the back of his head, right above the ear, would end the fight. Of course, he’d been drinking, and he’d also beaten that creep up for touching her, but now, having done it, she realized he’d been telling the truth.

Her heart felt so tight in her chest that she thought she might have a heart attack. I hit him! Hurt him, like I’ve been doing since he showed back up. Her anger was still there, the unreasonable, jittery betrayal and pain. It’s not all his fault, but he’s better off without me. I could have killed him! She stroked his silky hair, feeling tears building up at how soft and fine it felt under her fingers. How can I love him so much and be so angry with him? The way her fingers trembled, she knew she had to leave. It was either that or stay and explain that she couldn’t keep from bashing his head in. A smile broke through the painful thoughts, making her feel even more unstable.

He’s going to kill me for certain. With that thought, she grabbed her pack, scurried out of the bathroom and ran smack into Isaac the server.

“Oh, hey, I got you a room and some beers.”

She tried to stand still. “Yeah? Oh, great, my…boyfriend is sick. I think he needs to rest. Is the room upstairs?”

Isaac cast a worried glance toward the bathroom door then back to her. “Sick?”

“An upset stomach. That’s all. You know…travel.”

He grimaced and nodded. “Yeah, the water. Man, he shouldn’t drink the water. It messes with the pipes. Anyway, here’s the keys. You wanna sign?”

“Sure. Here, here’s cash, you know, until our luggage arrives.” She handed him a wad of euros from her backpack, but she could afford it. She walked as she talked, guiding him away from the bathroom, smiling and trying her best not to appear terrified. Her stomach rioted and her instincts wanted her to rush back and check on Steven. Then she remembered his lies, his actions and his attitude that she should open her arms and legs for him, and poof, she was better.

She got the keys, managed to chit-chat with Isaac and not show how frightened she was feeling. Finally, she sighed as if worried. “Okay, let me check on him. Can you save our booth?”

“Sure thing. It’s no problem.”

She smiled sweetly at him and he got so flustered that he dropped her cash, picked it up then grew so red that he stammered, “S-Sure th-thing.”

She rushed into action as soon as he’d left. She stuffed the keys in Steven’s—Ian’s—jacket pocket where he’d left it at the table, gathered it up and raced back to the bathroom. No one was there, again, thank God. She pried open the door, saw him still out, threw the jacket at his head and pulled the lock then slammed the door, thankful for old-fashioned locks.

It was so quick that she leaned against the door, not quite believing he wasn’t shouting on the other side of it.

“Now to get out of here.” She put words to motion and headed for the door, spied a store across the street and within minutes was buying a new jacket, gloves, scarf and a hat. She stuffed herself into the jacket, tucked the hat over her hair and checked for Ian at the entrance. The street was empty. There was no one coming out of the pub. Unbelievable.

Her heart raced, but she walked out, expecting his holler to stop her any second. It never did. She kept walking, turning a few times until she couldn’t have found the first hotel, even if she’d wanted to. I don’t want to. I don’t want to check on him. Or see him. Or…feel him making love to me.

“God, I suck.” Down a narrow street, she found a hotel with a ‘vacant’ sign and, better, a woman running it who had only a little English but didn’t mind a foreigner with cash but no ID.

Once in her tiny room, she shed the jacket, winter gear and boots, then paced. What have I done? I lost my temper. I hit him. I left him on a dirty bathroom floor!

“He deserved it for watching me pee. He should have turned. He should have left! He should have…” She collapsed on the bed. “He loves me. He said he loves me and is trying to protect me.” That shot. It would have killed me. They didn’t even know it was me and they wanted to kill me. Why? Devon needs me alive. Was that shot for Ian? She covered her mouth with both hands. “What if it was him they’d wanted to kill?”

She paced again until she spotted the tiny bottles of alcohol. The first one was so rough on her throat that she choked and spluttered. By the time she’d finished three and rung for a bottle of wine, she was well on her way to not caring about anyone, especially her lying, cheating, adorable, sexy husband.

 

* * * *

 

Ian startled out of a dream that had his blood chilled where Nicole—only it was Andy—had her eyes open and sightless, her hair flowing around her head and water bubbles escaping her lifeless lips.

He blinked his new surroundings into focus then shot unsteadily to his feet. His head rang, along with his phone.

She hit me. His gun was by his feet, his jacket and…a set of hotel keys jingled when he moved. He jerked the door, but it was locked. He fumbled with that, wondering what the hell she had been thinking, locking him in the bathroom. It hit him. She didn’t want anyone to find me! The little… He pulled his phone out, checked the caller ID and ignored the call for now. As he walked, he searched the busy pub for the waiter, spotting him by the bar. Isaac gave him a startled, guilty duck of his head and took off before Ian could reach him, but Ian caught up, now certain the kid knew there was a problem. “Where’s my wife?”

“Uh, dude… I thought she was your girlfriend.”

He tightened his hold on the boy’s arm.

“She left! I saw her head to the store,” Isaac admitted.

Ian must have looked as pissed as he felt because the kid hurried to add, “I went out to have a smoke and saw her inside. She was buying some clothes then she went up the street. I swear.”

He dropped the kid and shoved his way through the crowded bar to the door. Outside, the cold air brought back a bit of his intelligence. She was close. There was no way she’d made it far. He checked his watch. Half an hour. When I find her… He stalked across the street, berating himself for pushing her.

Now that he had time to think about what he’d said, he could see how she might have taken his threats of amazing sex for threats of another kind. She should know better. I would never lay a hand on her. But he couldn’t lie to himself. She had been angry, because she thought the wrong thing. He should have explained right away, shown her what he meant with another orgasm. Anything. I get her back, have a chance and fuck it up? How is this possible?

The store clerk, another young stud, remembered her and pointed him in the right direction. Every man in the town older than twelve seemed to know her. He found a pair of size five bootprints in the snow. He followed them down a street then another and turned down one more. There, at a corner, he found a hotel.

The woman outside was turning the vacant sign around. He prayed to all the powers that be that he’d scored and explained his situation—or what he thought would get him inside. As soon as he got out that he’d been trying to get their luggage, she broke out in smiles and guided him in, showing him Andy’s signature, and his breathing turned back to normal.

“Your wife ordered wine. I had it taken up not ten minutes ago. She is waiting on you, I think.” There was a smile in her eyes that he hoped his wife shared. Ten seconds later he was at the door, turning the knob and cursing when it opened. She didn’t even lock the door?

Andy turned—wine in hand—nearly fell backward, wove forward and pointed the bottle at him with an unsteadiness that had his heart racing.

“Ah-ha! I knew I wasted panic on you. You’re a jerk! A big, fat, lying jerk! I should have hit you harder. If I were you, buster, I’d step back outside where it’s safe.”

He chose to lift his hand in a clear peace sign and closed the door. “Let’s talk.”

She widened her eyes like he’d announced hell was outside and wanted in.

“What?” She swayed but didn’t fall. “Talk? Are you sure you don’t want to fuck? Or threaten to? Or hit me? Or…wait…lie to me? Or, no, no, I know. Spank my ass?”

When she said it like that…?

She swung the bottle up and drank right from it. At her feet were minibar hotel bottles of three different kinds of alcohol and an empty Coke can. My wife’s drunk and angry. There wasn’t a single time in their marriage she’d shown she was pissed off, let alone like she’d been all day. Now she was angry and drunk.

He stayed by the door, not willing to see if she’d neuter him. This woman wasn’t backing down. She was so angry with him that her chest rose and fell more rapidly than his breathing. She has every right to those feelings. I lied to her. I hurt her. She thought I broke my promise. He kept all that in mind as he tried to get the right words out of his mouth.

“I get it. I get it. I don’t know what made me say those things to you. I would never hurt you. I never will.”

“Oh yeah, now you say that. Coward.”

He swallowed the instant reply.

“And I’m not sleeping with you. So, if that’s why you’re here, you can get out.”

Steady… Do not rise to the bait. “Okay, I will, but you have to promise me you’ll stay here.”

She wove on her feet, narrowing her eyes at him as if he’d cussed her out. “You liar. You’re not leaving.”

“I will—”

“Oh, no, you won’t. You’re way too bossy, super-secret agent. You—”

“Nicole!” His temper shot higher. He battled it down. “Enough—”

“Andy! It’s Andy, asshole!”

She stumbled again when she swung the bottle in an arc to emphasize her words. He caught her before she fell, and for the consideration, he got a smack on the face that stung. His battle instincts raged, but not to kill, to drag her down and make love to her until she promised him anything he wanted. Her. No. Control. Do not screw this up. She hit him again, getting quite good at it. “Don’t hit me, Andy. I mean it!”

“Don’t shout at me!”

“Then don’t hit me!”

She dropped her hand and stared at him until suddenly huge tears streamed past her lashes and she clocked him again. “I loved you.” She hit his chest. “You lied to me. Used me. Fucked me for a job!” Her fist was slower now, but her words were so choked up that he couldn’t stop her, not when she was finally getting it all out.

“I never—”

“And you stand here, acting all noble. You”—she tugged her arms but he held on, praying she’d calm down. She did, but she glared up at him with such rage and hurt that he wanted to do anything he could to comfort her. “You’re such a shit!”

“I wanted to explain. Don’t you think I wanted to explain? I couldn’t.”

More struggles followed that gradually weakened into her beating at him again. “You liar! You didn’t try!”

“I’m trying now!”

Glaring at him through her tears, she stopped. “Go on then. Go on. Explain.”

He stared down at her. She had to be exhausted.

“Well? Go on!”

“Now?”

“Yes, now! When? Next Christmas!”

He grabbed hold of her shoulders and gently shook her. “Tell me you didn’t drink all of those.”

She smiled down at the empty bottles then back at him. “I can drink now. I’ve had months of practice. So”—she pulled free then unsteadily wove her way to the chair and flopped down. Sighing, she stared at him—“explain.”

Holy shit. She threw him. Nicole’s mood was always steady, always predictable. This woman was not going to give him an inch. “Are you going to remember?”

She sniffed and wiped at her eyes with her fingers. “Are you?”

He shook his head, unsure what to do. He’d never had a shouting match with her before and he wasn’t sure he’d won this one. “You screw with my head when you’re like this. Why did you hide all this from me?”

“It’s not my turn for show-and-tell. It’s yours.”

His heart filled with so much love that it hurt. If he had to go months with her beating on him and raging at him, shouting and giving him hell, he’d do it, because it meant he’d hurt her, and if he’d hurt her this deeply, then that meant she loved him just as deeply. Maybe as much as I love her.

With a sigh, he walked over and squatted at her feet, braving her temper to rest his hands on her slim thighs. She pretty much… Who am I kidding? She had won the shouting match—drunk, too—and still demanded him to step up. I can’t lose her.

“I was assigned to you when you were twenty.” Her face turned unreadable, reminding him of all the times he’d watched her do the same, when someone told her something that affected her, hurt her.

He swallowed and ducked his head then took her hand in his and met her eyes. Her fingers were freezing cold, her eyes slightly chillier. “I probably fell in love with you the first time I saw you,” he muttered, seeing the instant glimmer of shock before she tried to hide it by glancing down. “Hell, not probably. I did. But I waited. I had to. I watched you and each day it grew more and more impossible to stay away. I hated every man you touched and wanted to kick every guy’s ass that got your attention.” He brushed her fingers with his, trying to warm them. “I accepted the post because your dad was worried. He’d had death threats on you for years, but they began to escalate. He feared they’d find a way to reach you. I was even more concerned.” He squeezed her hands between his. “I know I should have been honest, but how damn insane would you have thought me if I’d showed up and told you I’d watched you for years and was perfect for you?”

She snorted. “You are not perfect.”

“I am for you.”

“I would have laughed at you and called security.”

“You would have called security, but you wouldn’t have laughed.”

She bent her head again. She hadn’t pulled her hand from his, though, and she hadn’t said anything else.

“I didn’t marry you for the job. I didn’t love you for the job. I took the job because I already knew you owned my heart. I wasn’t letting anyone touch you and I sure wasn’t letting anyone hurt you.”

“Besides you.”

Her eyes were focused now, the drunkenness either evaporated from their fight or held at bay.

He sighed and accepted that she had a right to feel that way. “Besides me. I figured I would draw Devon out when you went to the island. I couldn’t take it any longer. I missed you. I couldn’t stand that I was hurting you. I broke the mission so I could end this early. I believed that within days it would be done. I’d be able to explain to you what happened, you’d forgive me and everything would be back to normal, but better.”

“Huh.” She took another drink of the wine and licked a drop of red from her lips. He held on to her hand to keep from drawing her down to the carpet. “So…hurt me, then explain it all?”

“It was the only way.”

She laughed and there was no humor in it, but there was a hell of a lot of anger backing it. “It wasn’t. There were other ways—like telling me the truth, like explaining. I think you lied because you were afraid.”

“I wasn’t afraid of Devon—”

“Of me. I hid this.” She gestured to her heart. “But you hid, too.” She hit him on the chest and fisted his sweater. “We both hid. Maybe I don’t like Ian. Maybe you don’t like Andy.”

He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her forward so they were nose to nose. “I fucking love you—and you love me.” He would ensure it if he had to, but the thought of her not loving him hurt so damn much that he couldn’t breathe.

She turned away. She used to do that when she was upset and holding it in, when things mattered too much to her or when she was hurting. He took hope in that and lifted her hand from his chest to press a kiss to her knuckles.

“I love you. I deserved that knock on the head. And I probably deserve all the names, and maybe the other smack-downs, but I swear to you, I thought this would draw him out and it did. He was there, waiting for you on the island.”

“I read about it,” she whispered, still not meeting his eyes, but she didn’t pull her hand away. The bottle slipped in her other hand and he saved it, setting it on the table near them as quietly as he could. “It was in the papers.”

“He still wants his revenge. He still blames your family for his parents’ losses. He wants your money and your life. I can’t allow it.”

She turned back then and her eyes were so filled with confusion, such innocent frailty, that he couldn’t stop himself from pressing a kiss to her temple. “I won’t allow it. Not one inch of you is ever going to be hurt. I swear it was the only way, Nicole. I couldn’t let you go on, not knowing that monster was getting closer.”

“I’m Andy now. I’m Andy,” she whispered, but she leaned in to him, making his heart settle to a normal, even beat.

“I know. I know you are. We’ll keep you safe, and we’ll be Ian and Andy Hutchinson, okay?”

She shook her head on his shoulder.

He smiled and brushed her hair back. The color was so warm that he was surprised when the silky strands weren’t. “No? How about Ian and Andy Nicolas?”

She laughed. “Don’t be absurd.”

“I’m liberal.”

“You’re not. You’re teasing me.”

“Is that not allowed now, either?”

“You’re the one dishing out rules, not me.”

“What?” He tipped her head. Her eyes were drowsy, and he knew within minutes she’d be asleep. “You set the rules. One hit on the head and I know who’s boss.”

She slowly smiled and reached up, surprising him with a caress on the cheek then back over the bump she’d given him. “I’ll clock you again if you need it, too.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Her smile grew then faltered and she sighed, smelling like wine and sweet dreams. “You shouted at me. I always wanted you to do that. Now you do it when I want to hate you but can’t.”

She can’t? His heart took off again. “You wanted me to shout at you?”

She nodded and yawned. “Uh-huh. You always shut me out.” She sounded tired. “Always treated me like I might break. I’m strong. I did this, didn’t I?” She sat straighter and only relaxed when he nodded. “I would have done it sooner, too…” She trailed off sleepily and leaned on him with a big sigh. “But you came along, and I thought… I thought… I could do it if you were there.”

“I’m here, baby. I’m here.”

“But I’m not. I’m never going back.” She emphasized her words with a small fist against his chest. “I’m never being anyone other than me. You can’t make me, either.”

He soothed her with a hand in her hair, easing her toward him for a soft kiss. “I love you as you. I do.”

She squinted then surprised him by laughing. “You do, don’t you? I bet you will love me in bed now. But”—she pushed away and sighed—“not tonight.”

“Why? Because you’re on your period?” He was betting she wasn’t.

She snorted. “You’re an idiot. No, because I am not the kind of woman to forgive a lying, pretend-cheating man—no way, no how. You get the floor.”

Amused, even if he wasn’t about to take the floor, he stood, bent, then scooped her up. So, not on her period. “I’m not taking the floor, but I will hold off on seeing what you’re like in bed—if only for tonight.”

“Oh, it’s going to be a lot longer than that.”

He snorted and settled her on the bed. She was already in her Hello Kitty socks, but he froze when she wiggled down, lifted her butt and stripped her cords to her feet, kicking them off afterward without a hint of embarrassment. In fact, she met his eyes with an evenness that had him worrying she might actually withhold sex far longer than he could take it.

If this was his punishment, then it was agonizing.

Nicole, or Andy, had always had the longest, prettiest legs a woman ever owned, topped with the perkiest butt on the planet. Add to that the fact that she tugged her sweater off to reveal a sweet, sexy light-pink tank top and darker pink bra under it and he was aching hard.

She fiddled with the top then pulled her bra out from under it and flung it aside. He barely had time to admire her efficiency when she blew his mind by falling back so her breasts jiggled under the sheer cotton. Worse, he could see her nipples, and when she scooted onto her side, the valley he knew better than any place on earth pillowed up over the scoop neckline. She shifted her leg. Sweat beaded on his forehead as the pink panties rode up the lush curve of her ass. She reminded him of a sexy goddess lying there, her dark eyes on his face with a knowing little smile tugging her lips.

“Look your fill…but no touching.”

He zeroed in on her face and leaned down until they were nose to nose. “You’re asking me to show you how much you don’t mean that.” He watched her lips curl into a dazzling smile. It hit him right in the balls. If they tightened any more, he was going to come with one stroke of her palm. And no matter how much he loved his wife giving him a hand job, it was her—all of her—he wanted.

“Well, if I weren’t so drunk, I might take you up on that very tempting dare.” Her tease had him clenching the bedding until his knuckles ached. With one long glide of her silky thigh along his hips—and erection—she made it a thousand times worse. “But I’m in the mood for… Well, you never did let me drive. I think if you want back in my bed…”

He nodded once, in case she wasn’t clear on that.

“I want to be in charge.” She sat and pushed him backward easily, because he’d gone completely boneless, except for his cock, which was trying to tear through his pants to reach her.

Of course, she noticed. Anyone within a mile would notice. Her grin was priceless. She crawled forward, making his heart stop and start again faster than ever at the way her breasts bounced and swung.

“Oh, God, you’re so hard. And you’ve been what? Using your hand for—”

“I thought you were dead.” He gathered her up in his arms and tucked his head to her neck, breathing her in as all of her pressed up against him. “You think I sat around jacking off when my heart was torn to shreds?”

“Well, my heart was ripped out, too, you lying cheat.” She kissed his jaw and laughed. “But I still had my toys.”

He tightened his arms so hard that she gave a little gasp.

“You’re lying.”

She fluttered her lashes at him. “Am I? I found that battery-operated did the job better than going without.”

A laugh broke free and he fell back with her in his arms, drawing her close when he did, so they were curled together on the comforter. She smelled like wine and Nicole. His body was insisting on driving into her, but his heart couldn’t do it, not with the way she stared at him with her eyes drowsy but happy for the first time in so long that his throat tightened painfully. “Is that right?”

She yawned, wiggled and jostled him until she had her head tucked to his chest and a hand on his racing heart. He covered it, feeling his heart slow, as having her in his arms again registered.

“We’re going to sleep?” she whispered.

“Yeah. I think we should sleep.”

“You’re still wearing our ring.”

He dug in his pocket, pulled hers out and tried to slip it on her finger. She tensed and hit him, but after being bashed around for the day, he was getting used to it. He caught her hand and kissed it. “Not now?”

“Not ever.”

He laughed and caressed down her sweet back to give her perfect ass a small pat. “Not tonight. Tomorrow, we talk, we make love and we put on this ring again.”

“In your dreams,” she murmured, but she softened, slowly easing into sleep. She wiggled a few more times, making his body demand he forget sleeping and make love to her. She finally settled with her slim leg between his, right up against the biggest erection of his life.

“You can’t expect me to sleep like this.” He was whining, something he never did. A soft sigh was all the answer he got. Then, she laughed and moved her leg down a little.

“Better?”

“Fuck—”

“You swear more than Steven.”

“So do you.”

“Sure. Steven never swore.”

“I meant—”

She reached up and covered his mouth with her finger. “Shhh, I know.”

“Maybe we don’t have to sleep,” he suggested, unable to keep his hips still.

She sighed and patted his chest. “Shhh…”

“You realize how bad a hard-on hurts when it goes on for hours.”

“Nope. I don’t. Tell me tomorrow.” She sounded so sleepy that he wasn’t surprised when she yawned before going softer in his arms.

Swallowing any more complaints, he pulled her closer until he could feel her heartbeat against him. Satisfied with her warmth, her scent, her in his arms, he let the idea of having her back sink into his pores. She loves me. She still loves me.

“Love you.” He brushed a kiss to her forehead.

She muttered something grumpy, but he held her cheek pressed to his chest. Contentment filled him, especially when she wiggled closer and her breath ghosted over his skin. She loves me.