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Keri
My heart finally stopped pounding and the goosebumps went back to normal. But it took a while. Heeni looked at us in surprise too. Whether she had known we were there I don’t know. She must have heard something.
“Hello, girls,” she said. “What have you found?”
Chloe was gasping. This was going to put her anxieties through the roof, I thought. Mereana finally got control of herself.
“Oh, you don’t know how much you frightened us! We came for an explore. The other kids said this house was haunted, and we wanted to know why. But all we found were some old photos and documents.”
Heeni put out her hand. “May I see?”
Mereana gave her the birth certificate and Jess gave her the packet of photos. Her eyes grew round as she looked at them.
“These have been here all this time?” She spoke as if to herself. She looked at the suitcase. “I put that away in that cupboard, all those years ago,” she almost whispered. “Why are they still here? They were supposed to go to the families who took the boys.”
“Why did you give the babies away?” Mereana asked boldly. “How could you do that to your own children?”
Heeni lowered her head. “You don’t understand,” she said quietly. “It was the only thing I could do. I had to make sure they were safe.”
“Why couldn’t you keep them safe! They were your children!” Mereana was winding up like I’d never seen her before.
“Come on,” Heeni said. “Let’s go and sit outside, in the sun. Bring all that stuff and I’ll tell you why I couldn’t keep them safe. It’s not a nice story, but it’s the truth.”
Jess, being the tallest, picked up the suitcase, and the rest of us carried whatever was left on the floor and in the wardrobe. We trailed downstairs after Heeni and sat in the shade of a tree, out of the hot midday sun.
Heeni’s story
When I was young, Heeni began, I was a wild child. There were eight of us in the family. I was the youngest, and I was spoiled. By my parents, by my brothers and sisters, by everyone. I was pretty, I could sing, and everyone loved me. Especially the boys. By the time I was fifteen, I could have any boy I liked, and I liked the bad ones. The ones who drank, and didn’t work, and were never going to amount to much. I got pregnant to one of them, and he was the baddest of all.
Our parents made us get married. I didn’t want to. I was just sixteen by then. I wanted to stay home and have my mother take care of the baby, but she decided I needed to grow up. She didn’t know what that boy was like. She thought I would settle down and grow up and learn to love that boy, just like she had. But I didn’t ever learn to love him, because he was violent to me. He would hit me for nothing. He wouldn’t hit the babies, I’ll say that for him. He loved those babies. But by the time Hoani was two years old, that man stopped loving him. Hoani was only little, but he didn’t like his dad hitting me, and he used to shy away from his dad when he was around. That man didn’t like that, and he started hitting him too.
That’s when I knew I had to go. But I couldn’t take the boys. I had no money and no job, and even though I was smart, I had no education either. So, I made a plan. I chose families who already had children, and I asked them to take my boys. So that their dad wouldn’t know which was his and which wasn’t. But, only two families said yes, and they only wanted one baby each. I gave them Robert, who was so little, only three months old; and Tama, who was one, he went to another family. I cried every night for my babies. I went to live with my sister with Hoani, but that man found me there, and he gave me such a hiding.
By now I had met someone else. He was smooth. So smooth and he said he loved me, and he would take me away from here. But I had to get rid of the kid. That’s what he said. I had to get rid of Hoani. My older sister Anahera had no babies. I gave Hoani to her. I knew she would look after him, her and Isaac. I said I would come back for them when I was settled. They all said that was good.
But I never came back. I went with that new man to Australia. But I kept crying for my babies, and in the end, he got fed up with me, and he left me. I had no money, no nothing. I slept on the streets and I used to steal food, and whatever else I could to survive. I lived on the streets for about two years.
Then one day a Salvation Army lady came to me and said they could help me, but I had to abide by the rules. I was so happy. Someone who cared. And I did abide by the rules. I stayed in the hostel, and I got on a course, and then I got a job.
Then I met another man. He was a wonderful man. I didn’t tell him about my past. I was scared he wouldn’t want me. Looking back, I think he would have loved me anyway. But it was too late then. We got a business together, and we worked really hard, and we got rich. All the time I thought about my boys, but by then they would have been growing up, and they didn’t need me upsetting them. Every time I thought about writing a letter or using the telephone, the words died.
Two years ago, my lovely man died. He had a heart attack. Then I found out I had cancer. It got worse and worse, even though I had all the treatments. I decided that I would have to make the trip and see my boys before I died. I didn’t know Hoani had died ...