86

DESIRE

The next morning, Teri gets word to Carmine that Rina will come to see him, but she insists that he must protect her and not allow anyone to bother her.

Around noon, Rina dresses very modestly, though she does apply a little makeup. She decides to walk the entire way to the YMCA. Once there, she’s met by Gloria Genco, who has been told that Rina is bringing a message from Tony. Gloria is a bright girl, and curious, but she’s from the Neighborhood and will not question nor gossip.

She leads Rina to the room where Carmine is patiently waiting. They just look at each other, neither knowing what to do or say, almost transfixed. Timidly, Rina takes a seat and waits for Carmine to speak.

“Rina, you have not changed a bit. You are still the most beautiful woman in the world.”

She smiles.

“You look pretty good yourself, Carm. How is your health?”

He approaches and takes a knee in front of her.

“I have thought about you every single day,” Carmine says, full of emotion. “You have never, ever left my mind. I wish that I could change the past, but I have never stopped loving you, Rina, never.”

Rina begins to weep.

“What are we going to do about our son, Carmine? I don’t want him hurt. We did our best—wrongly or rightly—to make sure that he would have a normal, happy life, and he does. Believe me!”

“I know,” says Carmine.

“Despite what either of us may think about his choices,” she adds. “Papa Tony and I—we never thought, never imagined,” Rina continues, searching for words, “that he was truly set on becoming an FBI agent. At first, Papa and I laughed. We couldn’t take it seriously. None of us could understand it. The only one who stood up for Paulie was Vincent. He hated the idea from the very beginning, even when they were little kids, but Vincent was also devoted to our boy.”

Carmine puts his arm around her and holds her like they’ve never been apart. She welcomes his embrace, but then withdraws.

“I met Vincent,” Carmine says after a moment. “He seems like a good kid, a smart kid, and he loves Paulie, and I love him for that. I asked for his help, Rina. Did I do the right thing?”

“Carmine,” she nods vigorously, “they are like brothers in all manners. Vincent is agonizing over all of this. You can trust that he will do all he can. Thank god Paulie is in Los Angeles, so we have time to work this out.”

They talk for over an hour before Rina gets up to leave. “I know you have a lot on your mind right now, Carmine, but please put Paulie first. Talk to Vincent.”

They embrace and she leaves. Carmine stands there with a heavy heart, watching the empty doorway, wishing things could be resolved, that he could change the past. But how, he has no idea.