THE PHONE WAS ringing. Livvy tried to ignore it, but the noise persisted. Wearily she pushed aside the duvet and reached groggily for the receiver.
‘Livvy, you’re back.’
She tensed as she recognised Gale’s voice. ‘I’ve been ringing you for days. Where on earth have you been? Why haven’t you been in touch? Look, I’m coming round to see you now.’
‘Gale, no—I…’ Livvy started to protest, but it was too late.
Wearily she got up and padded into her bathroom. When Gale said ‘now’, now was exactly what she meant.
Livvy was just pouring the coffee into the two mugs she had placed on the table when her cousin’s car stopped outside.
Gale looked different, Livvy recognised, as she opened the door to her. Softer, more womanly somehow. Her manner didn’t seem to have changed, though.
‘Livvy—my God, what on earth have you done to yourself?’ she demanded, as Livvy let her in. ‘You’re far too thin. And where have you been?’
‘I’m sorry I had to break my promise to you,’ Livvy apologised, as she handed her one of the mugs of coffee. ‘But I—’
‘Oh, don’t worry about that. That’s all been sorted out now—Livvy, I’ve got so much to tell you.
‘You remember Robert Forrest, George’s boss?’
‘The misogynist who took over George’s life? How could I forget him?’
‘Well, I was completely wrong about him,’ Gale told her. ‘He’s really the most wonderful man…I can’t tell you how good he’s been. All those things I said about him…I couldn’t have been more wrong. He wasn’t trying to drive George and me apart at all…he was trying to keep us together. He’s totally against divorce.’
‘You mean he’s totally against other people’s,’ Livvy suggested drily.
‘What?’ Gale looked perplexed.
‘You told me that he was divorced…’
‘Oh, yes…Well, I was wrong about that, too. Poor man, it seems that his wife actually tricked him into marrying her by pretending that she was pregnant…It was all a complete fabrication she had hatched up to get at her married lover after they’d quarrelled. It’s no wonder it made him bitter.
‘Oh, Livvy, I can’t tell you what a relief it is to know that George still loves me. It hasn’t been easy, I admit. Finding out how close I’d come to losing him, learning that he was…attracted to someone else.’
She bit her lips, her eyes bright with tears. ‘Thank God it never got any further than that. Thanks to Robert. If he hadn’t acted so quickly…sent George abroad so much…
‘I misjudged him totally, you know.’
Livvy stifled her irritation. She was glad for Gale, of course she was, but she was getting a little tired of hearing her cousin sing Robert Forrest’s praises.
‘You should have got in touch with us, you know. I was worried about you and Robert…’
‘I only got back last night, Gale, and I’ve got stacks of things to do. I’m delighted to hear that you and George have sorted out your differences and that Robert Forrest is such a wonderful, caring human being, but right now…’
Gale’s eyebrows rose.
‘Well, if that’s the way you feel, I suppose I’d better go. What I actually came round for was to tell you that George and I are having a small party on Saturday. It’s our wedding anniversary and…You will come, won’t you…?’
A party was the last thing she felt like, Livvy acknowledged, but she knew that Gale would nag and persuade her until she gave in and agreed to go.
‘All right, but I shan’t be able to stay long. By the way,’ she added as her cousin finished her coffee and stood up, ‘I take it that you and George have sorted out your differences over the farmhouse?’
What was she doing? Livvy asked herself silently. The night she had left him she had sworn that she was putting Richard out of her life, her thoughts, her heart forever, and yet here she was breaking that vow already. It wasn’t really the farmhouse she wanted to ask Gale about…It was the man who had shared it with her.
‘Oh, yes. It was all a misunderstanding really. George never intended to sell the place. I was furious with him about it at first, but once he’d explained and Robert…’
Robert, Robert, Robert…Here she went again. In George’s shoes, she would begin to feel rather worried about the amount of times Gale included his boss in her conversation and her obvious admiration for him, Livvy reflected irritably.
‘Of course, Robert will be there at the party,’ Gale was telling her now.
‘Wonderful. I can hardly wait to meet him. Suppose I’ll recognise him by his halo. He will be wearing it, won’t he?’ Livvy asked her grittily.
Gale was avoiding looking directly at her.
‘You’ve changed,’ she accused her, her eyes clouded, and for the first time in her life Livvy recognised uncertainty in her cousin’s expression. ‘I…you know I’d never do anything to hurt you, don’t you? That I’d always have your best interests at heart? After all, you are family, and not just that—’
Livvy sighed, recognising all the signs that Gale was about to deliver one of her lectures.
‘Tell me about it on Saturday,’ she interrupted her firmly, ushering her towards the door and opening it very pointedly for her.
She must have been mad to agree to go to Gale’s party, Livvy reflected tiredly as she dried her hair and stared grimly at her reflection. Would other people recognise, as she did, how much she had changed? Would they too see the shadows clouding her eyes, the vulnerability of her mouth, the effect all the sleepless nights and pain of loving Richard had had on her?
They were having an early autumn, the leaves already turning and starting to fall. This morning there had been mist on the fields and the sun, which was shining now, had the pale yellow clarity that said the season had changed.
Livvy discarded the idea of wearing anything summery; it might reveal too clearly how much weight she had lost, and the last thing she wanted was Gale giving her a lecture about it.
Instead, she put on a favourite knitted suit in a soft pale peach. The ribbed top was loose and comfortable, the skirt neat and straight, and although she might be aware that the waistband of the skirt was loose, and that there was more room inside the jumper than there had been, no one else would do so…
Not unless they touched her, that was. But then there was no one in her life close enough to her who was likely to do that, was there? No lover…no partner…no Richard to take hold of her arm and notice its thinness, to place his hand on her waist and recognise how narrow it had become.
Richard…She put down her hairbrush. She was not going to cry…she was not…she must not…she would not, she told herself fiercely.
‘Oh, Livvy, good, at last. I was just beginning to wonder where you’d got to,’ Gale told her cousin as Livvy handed her the small gift she had bought them and turned to receive George’s hug. ‘Come on in. You’ll know most of the others…’
‘Except for Mr Wonderful, of course,’ Livvy muttered sotto voce, explaining wryly as Gale turned to look at her, ‘I was referring to George’s boss.’
Gale suddenly looked very flushed and uncomfortable, Livvy recognised.
She frowned. Was there more to Gale’s admiration of the other man than mere gratitude? Surely not…
‘You know, if I were George I think I might feel a little bit resentful of Mr Robert Forrest. He’s obviously flavour of the month with you at the moment, Gale.’
‘What? Don’t be ridiculous,’ Gale told her. ‘I am grateful to Robert, and I do feel guilty about the way I initially misjudged him. You know how I pride myself on being a good judge of character. I feel I owe it to him to…’
‘To drag his name into every conversation so that we can all marvel at his metamorphosis from frog to prince?’ Livvy questioned her.
‘Livvy, I don’t know what’s got into you. You never used to be like this…’ Gale was frowning, looking so worried and concerned that Livvy immediately felt guilty.
‘I’m sorry,’ she apologised. ‘It’s just that…’ That I’m helplessly in love with a man who doesn’t want me…How could she say that? She couldn’t, could she?
‘It’s just what?’ Gale pressed her anxiously.
‘It’s just that I’ve got a lot on my mind. I still haven’t decided what to do about this job.’
‘Oh, I see. There’s nothing else, then?’ Gale asked her.
‘What else could there be?’ Livvy asked her quietly.
There was an odd look on Gale’s face, something almost furtive about her manner.
‘Nothing, nothing at all,’ Gale assured her hastily. ‘There’s the doorbell. I’d better go…’
Livvy watched her cousin hurry away with a jaundiced eye.
‘Gale, I really ought to go. It’s been lovely, but…’
‘No. You can’t go yet…’
Livvy frowned as her cousin took hold of her arm, almost as though she intended forcibly to prevent her from leaving. ‘Gale, I did say I could only stay for an hour or so, and—’ She broke off as she heard the doorbell ring.
‘Look, just hang on for a few minutes while I go and see who that is,’ Gale urged her.
It was easier to give in than to argue. Livvy wandered back into the living-room and sat down in an empty chair.
Livvy could hear the front door opening and Gale speaking to someone, her voice slightly higher pitched than usual, either with excitement or tension, or both.
‘Robert…We were just beginning to worry that you might not make it. Was your flight delayed?’
No need to wonder who the new arrival was, Livvy acknowledged grimly. Mr Wonderful himself.
Gale was hurrying into the sitting-room, a tall, dark-haired, dark-suited man at her side.
Richard! Livvy was halfway to her feet without even realising she had moved, her face white with shock and disbelief. Her body felt as though it belonged to a wooden-jointed doll, her movements jerky and uncoordinated, and as for her heart…her heart was ricocheting around inside her ribcage, bouncing off the walls of her chest with such high-speed velocity that she actually thought she was going to faint.
Richard…Richard was here!
‘Livvy,’ she heard Gale saying to her, ‘Livvy, I want you to meet George’s employer…Robert Forrest.’
Livvy stared at her blankly. No need now to question the guilt and discomfort she could see in her cousin’s eyes. No need now to wonder at Gale’s odd nervousness and insistence that she didn’t leave.
Richard Field…Robert Forrest. Why on earth hadn’t she realised, recognised…?
She felt too sick to move or speak, but Richard—Robert was moving closer towards her, and if she didn’t do something soon she would be imprisoned…trapped.
She turned to Gale, two angry spots of colour burning on her cheeks.
‘How could you do this to me?’ she demanded fiercely. ‘How could you…?’
And before Gale could say anything she turned on her heel, almost running past Gale and Robert, ignoring the politely curious glances of the other guests and the embarrassed apology George was trying to give her as she wrenched the front door open and left.
The first thing she did when she got back home was lock the doors and unplug the telephone, silencing it in mid ring.
Her stomach was churning nauseously, and she had the most violently painful headache. Her body seemed to be out of her own control, and when she turned on the tap to run some cold water for a drink, her hand was shaking so much that it took her several attempts to fill the glass.
Her teeth chattered as she raised it to her lips, and yet she wasn’t cold. In fact she felt almost suffocatingly hot.
Richard was Robert Forrest, and Gale had obviously known it…known all about his deliberate deceit. And the rest as well?
No wonder her cousin had been behaving out of character. Why on earth hadn’t she told her…warned her…?
Because Rich—Robert Forrest had asked her not to.
So much for family loyalty, Livvy reflected sourly, her top lip curling.
Gale wasn’t totally to blame, though. She ought to have guessed that something was wrong. Richard Field…Robert Forrest…She had thought it odd that Gale had not seemed to want to discuss the man whose buying the farmhouse she had been so bitterly opposed to. Knowing Gale as she did, she had half expected her cousin to have something to say about him.
Because of her own anguish, her own fear that Gale might guess what had happened, she had been too grateful to question Gale’s unusual silence.
For Gale to guess what had happened…Gale already knew, didn’t she? Otherwise…
How much had he told them? What exactly had he said…that he was sorry but he had had to destroy her, Livvy’s life? That she had been expendable, an unfortunate victim he had had to sacrifice?
On what? The altar of his own need to revenge himself against her sex? Not because it would in any way aid George and Gale’s marriage. She couldn’t have made it plainer that she wanted them to stay together.
Why couldn’t he have told her who he was? Why had it been necessary for him to lie to her about his identity?
Perhaps he had enjoyed deceiving her. There couldn’t surely be any other reason.
What difference would it have made to her, knowing that it was Robert Forrest who wanted to buy the farmhouse and not Richard Field?
She frowned…Why, if he had been so keen to preserve Gale and George’s marriage, had he deliberately tried to cause problems between them by encouraging George to go behind Gale’s back and sell him the property?
She wondered bitterly what Gale would say if she knew the things he had said about her…the criticisms he had made. No doubt she wouldn’t think him so wonderful then.
And what had he told them about her? How had he explained her departure?
She had simply left a message on Gale’s answer-phone saying that she couldn’t stay any longer. Had Gale challenged him, asked him why it had been so necessary for her to leave? If she had, Livvy doubted he would have told her the truth.
She tensed as she heard a car draw up outside. The sight of the familiar lean, dark-haired man uncoiling himself from the driver’s seat made her shake with nervousness. As she backed away from the window so that he couldn’t see her, she saw him pause and look towards her home.
What was he doing here? What did he want? To reassure himself that what had happened between them was something he could safely ignore? To warn her that it had meant nothing and that as far as he was concerned she meant nothing?
Her mouth curled into a tight, bitter smile. Did he really think she was stupid enough to need that kind of warning?
She heard him knocking on the door but she refused to answer it. It seemed like hours rather than minutes before he eventually gave up and went back to his car.
It was a long time before Livvy got to sleep that night. She lay in bed, her mind churning over and over, and when, just as the birds began to sing the dawn chorus, she fell into a drugged, heavy sleep, it was only to dream of Richard…Robert…and awaken with red, dry eyes and a leaden weight pressing down on her chest.
Groggily she crawled out of bed and listlessly made herself a slice of toast and a strong cup of coffee. Silence surrounded her, and she sat for what seemed like hours, staring into space, the toast untouched on her plate in front of her.
Eventually she remembered that she had unplugged the phone last night. Her first reaction was to shrink from replacing the connection—but that was just cowardice, she recognised wearily as she went to reconnect it. Much as she might want to, she couldn’t hide from the world forever.
It rang, as she had known it would, within ten minutes.
‘Livvy?’
‘I don’t want to talk to you, Gale.’
‘Oh, Livvy, look, I know how it seems…’ Her cousin sounded really worried, but Livvy wasn’t feeling in a forgiving mood.
‘I didn’t want to see him again, Gale, and you knew that. You knew all the time you were telling me about George’s wonderful, wonderful boss what he had done. You knew as well that if I had known who he was there was no way I’d have been at that party last night.’
‘Livvy, please…’
‘Don’t waste your breath, Gale. I left the farmhouse to get away from Richard Field…or rather, Robert Forrest, and no matter what the man calls himself, I still don’t want to see him. You might consider that you misjudged him, Gale, but I, on the contrary, believe that my assessment of him was too generous.’
‘Livvy, please try to understand.’
‘Oh, I do understand. He apparently went to a good deal of trouble to protect your marriage and you’re grateful to him for that. I do understand that. But what I don’t understand is why protecting your marriage necessitated him lying to me, pretending to be someone he wasn’t…’
‘He only wanted to help George,’ Gale protested. ‘To prevent him from falling into the same trap he’d been caught in. His wife tricked him into marriage by pretending she was carrying his child. She wasn’t pregnant at all, but she had hatched up a plot to force Robert to marry her so she could then divorce him and get a large divorce settlement out of him. She knew the type of man he was and that he would never desert his child.
‘He said that the moment he set eyes on Sandra, George’s secretary, he recognised that she was the same type as his ex-wife. Apparently she even tried to make a play for him, but he gave her short shrift and sacked her. He tried to warn George, but, as George himself admits now, he was infatuated with her and refused to stop seeing her.
‘That was why Robert sent him away so much. He was trying to keep them apart.’
‘And why he lied to me about who he was…and threatened you with buying the farmhouse?’ Livvy suggested sarcastically.
Gale paused. ‘I…I can’t explain about that, Livvy. You’ll have to ask him those questions yourself.’
‘I don’t want to know the answers,’ Livvy told her curtly. ‘I already know as much about him as I want to know…more. He doesn’t like our sex, you know, Gale. He’s one of those despicable men who have to boost their own egos by putting women down…’
‘That’s not true,’ Gale protested. ‘He’s been so concerned about you, Livvy. He came straight back to England after you left, you know, and there hasn’t been a day since when he hasn’t either rung or come round to see if you’d been in touch.
‘A man doesn’t behave like that unless he cares, Livvy…’
‘No? Try substituting “cares” for “a guilty conscience”,’ Livvy suggested.
‘Livvy, I hate to see you like this. Won’t you at least see him…let him explain?’
‘There isn’t anything for him to explain,’ Livvy told her fiercely. ‘And if he thinks that I’m going to let him manipulate me just so that he can ease his conscience…I don’t want to see him, Gale, and that’s final. And if that means that I don’t see you either, well, then, so be it.’
Livvy could tell from her cousin’s silence how much she had shocked her, but she hardened her heart. Gale couldn’t know just why she was so determined never to see Richard…Robert Forrest again. It was obvious that she had no idea how Livvy really felt about him. Of course she wanted Livvy to allow Robert to explain and to have everything smoothed over and sorted out, but she couldn’t see him, Livvy knew painfully.
She couldn’t willingly or voluntarily subject herself to that kind of hurt.