“It’s all well and good to make vows, but it’s never the wedding day that counts. It’s in the small moments for the rest of your lives, when you choose love again and again.”
—Lofn - The Shape of Love
The mist of my breath rose up every time I exhaled. The weather had calmed, but the clearing under Yggdrasil was white with fresh snow, covered in hoofprints from the deer. Winter birds flitted through the forest, most of the animals tucked away from the cold. Yggdrasil’s branches were bare, revealing the grey sky above, threatening to send more snow at any moment. Standing in front of the tree, a nervous warmth running through my body, I had never been so thankful for the chill winter breeze.
Loki was a sight to see. His hair had been tied into a series of intricate braids, bound at the back of his head, and left to drape across his shoulders. He wore a new cloak, midnight blue with white fox trim around the hood. Underneath were the finest trousers and tunic he could find that were still clean.
The details, the cloak, the hair; it had been all Idunn’s doing. Apparently, she’d run straight out of her cabin after he’d told her, towing him along with her. They’d bought me a wine-red cloak that had matching fox trim, and she’d picked out a thin gold circlet for my hair. And for the dress, I’d chosen a white satin gown embellished with gold lace and stitching.
Hod and Eyvindr were off to one side, Eyvindr’s arm in Hod’s. For balance, Hod always claimed, but with the way they were speaking under their breath and smiling, we all had to wonder.
Idunn and Bragi stood on the other side. Idunn was already wiping tears from her eyes with gloved hands, even though nothing had happened yet. She leaned on Bragi, her head resting on his shoulder. He held her, his knowing smile pressed into her hair; Idunn never had dry eyes at a happy occasion.
“If you’re ready.” Lofn rubbed gloved hands together, shivering. “You’d think I’d learn not to spend time in warmer climates before coming back to a winter in Asgard.” She chuckled.
“We’re ready,” I said.
Reaching into her cloak, Lofn pulled out the ring box. She handed us each a ring, the one that belonged to the other. “Friends, you’ve been asked here today to bear witness to the union of Loki Laufeyjarson and Sigyn Odindottir. Welcome. Though you are small in number, your love is immeasurable.”
Idunn began to cry again, fanning her face with her hand. Eyvindr whispered into Hod’s ear, and their fingers intertwined in such a casually secretive way that I almost didn’t notice.
Lofn gestured up to Yggdrasil. “Here, under the protection of the World Tree, we ask Her to shade these two as they join hands and journey into the realms together. Provide them shelter from whatever storms may arise and a bountiful life to enjoy for the rest of their days.” She took a long breath. “Is there anything either of you would like to say?”
Loki actually blushed. He glanced to the friends watching us, then the ground, then his eyes finally settled on me. “None of this was supposed to happen. When you landed on my doorstep, bleeding and alone, I had no idea how you were going to change my life. You took hold of me so quickly. All the nights I couldn’t sleep because I didn’t think you would want anything to do with me. And you did, and I—” His breath hitched in his throat. He blinked back tears and started again. “Everything is better with you here. I’m better. I love you. Both of you. No matter what.”
I choked back a sob. My heart was so full, tears running down my cheeks. How was I supposed to say something if I couldn’t breathe? He took my hand, squeezing as if it would give me my voice.
“I’d given up before I met you,” I finally said. “Love was for the lucky. But you heard me when no one else did. And I’m scared. I don’t know what I’m doing. None of this was part of the plan. I’ve always had everything under control, but I’m standing in the snow with a baby in my belly, getting married because you asked me yesterday. This is the most outrageous thing I’ve ever done, and I am so happy. You’ve brought so much light into my life. You’re the fire in my veins. I can’t live without you anymore.”
Lofn reached under her cloak again and pulled out a dagger. At that cue, Idunn brought forth a golden apple. Lofn cut the apple down the centre, splitting it in two. She passed each of us a half. “This apple, which Yggdrasil gives us to bless us with longevity, symbolizes the sharing of a life. Please.”
We both took a bite. Lofn took back what remained. “And the rings.”
Loki took my hand gently in his. He slipped the ring onto my finger. My heart was thudding out of my chest, my body trembling like a leaf.
I took his hand, the one that had spent so much time on my skin, in my hair, clutching, caressing, loving, and I slid the ring onto his finger. And it was done.
Loki didn’t let go of me. Instead, he pulled me to his chest, my feet stumbling with the sudden movement. He held me against him and kissed me, slow and tempered, and I melted under his lips, sure that my legs would give out from under me.
When the kiss was finished, he pressed his forehead to mine. “How do you feel, wife?”
I stole another kiss. “In love, husband.”
His thumb wiped a tear from my cheek. “Good.” And then he loosened his grip so I could stand on my own feet again, though I wasn’t sure I was able.
Lofn had her hands clasped over her heart, her eyes misty. “This is what I live for. May the Nornir weave the tapestries of your lives in stunning colour. I think it’s time we go inside and pour a drink for the happy couple, hmm?”
Idunn dried the tears from her face, nodding.
I waved her over. “Come on, come here.”
She rushed into my arms, pressing her face into my shoulder. “It’s just so beautiful! I love you both so much!”
Loki wrapped his arms around both of us, pressing his cheek into Idunn’s head. “If you keep on like this, I’m going to cry and mess up all my kohl. I’ll hold you to blame.”
Idunn laughed. “I promise I’ll stop, I just—”
A drumming rose up in the distance, the thudding of hooves. Loki sighed and stepped away, straightening out the creases in his cloak. “Naturally.”
“Too late, Allfather,” Lofn laughed, pulling her hood back from her face. We watched the entrance to the clearing together, waiting for the horses to round the corner.
Odin appeared first, followed by Thor and several of the einherjar. Their horses kicked up snow as they approached, slowing from a thunder to a murmur.
The Allfather leapt down from his horse, his face red under his beard. A loud squawk came from the trees, and one of his ravens swooped down to land on his shoulder. How long had it been watching? “What is the meaning of this?”
Lofn stepped forward. “Loki and Sigyn wished to be married, and I married them.”
He wagged a finger at her. “I should have you thrown out of Asgard!”
“My job, which you gave me, is to facilitate forbidden love. They knew you would never consent, and so it falls under my rights to do so.”
“You went against my will—”
Lofn put her hands on her hips. “You never commanded me not to intervene. I’ve done nothing against your will, because you didn’t make your will clear. Their suspicions are not fact, and there is nothing you can do. Go to Forseti. Ask him about the laws. I wrote them with him.”
Odin’s teeth ground together, his hands looking for something to break.
And Loki, not one to stay out of trouble, moved into his reach. “We wanted to invite you; we really did. We just didn’t want it to turn into anything too dramatic.”
“You miserable Trickster. Why I let you back in this city, I’ll never know.”
Loki started to count on his fingers. “Mjolnir. Draupnir. Gullinbursti. All the other Dwarven gifts. The giant wall being built around you. Someone to keep your daughter warm at night.”
Odin let out a fit of rage, winding back his fist, and the first thing I could think to do was—
“I’m pregnant!”
Odin stopped in his tracks, eyes wide. But it wasn’t anger or shock. It was fear. “No. You can’t be.”
I drew closer to him, wary, one hand on my stomach and the other held out to him. “I am. And it’s alright. We’re married, and we’re going to look after each other. We’re going to do this together. You don’t need to worry.”
He started to speak, then stopped. While he said nothing, Thor was off his horse and rushing toward me, a grin plastered on his face. He scooped me up in a hug. “This is wonderful news, sister!”
“Gentle!” I cried. “Be gentle!” His grip loosened, and he put me down, arms still around me. “You’re going to be an uncle. Again.”
“I can’t wait! But why didn’t you invite me to the wedding?” He started to pout.
“Because you can’t keep a secret.”
He shook his head. “No, I can’t.”
Idunn stepped in. “I have soup and warm cider inside. Maybe we should go in.” Her eyes darted to Odin, who still hadn’t moved. He was slumped over, defeated, and frankly, no one knew what to do about it.
Loki gave Thor a pat on the back. “Join us. Maybe you can help pick a name for the baby.”
He started to lead Thor towards the cabin when Odin grabbed Loki by the wrist and pulled him back.
“You know what you’ve done,” Odin hissed. “You have it; I know you took it. You know where this leads!”
“Father! Let him go!” I took Loki’s other arm, as if I could pull him away by sheer force.
But Loki just stared at him, blankly at first, then with a sly grin. “Do I?”
“You’ll seal their fates.”
Loki shook his head. “Don’t you think you’ve done that yourself?”
Odin released his arm, his hand quivering. Not missing a beat, I stole my husband away, back toward the cabin before anyone could change their minds.
I slapped him on the arm. “What was that?”
“Ow. It was nothing. Your Father is losing his mind in his old age.”
“That wasn’t nothing, Loki.”
He huffed, leading me up the steps to the cabin. “Your father is a tyrant. I’m tired of the way he treats you. There isn’t a thing he’s ever done that has your best interest in mind. He’ll never lay a hand on you or make you feel small again, not if I can help it.”
“Right.” I frowned, certain that something had happened that I couldn’t understand. But the cabin was already full of laughter, our friends around the small table, huddled together against the chill. Idunn was serving out thick soup, and Thor was trying to squeeze in an extra chair for himself. And after a moment, I decided to let this evening be a good one. The consequences, whatever they might be, could wait.