County Correctional Facility, Oregon
When there was that last phone call with Noa and he asked me what he was I never thought about asking the same question about myself. Now I know the answer: what I am, is good at being the bad guy. Funny all this time it took me to figure ’um out, but when you look back at everything from the start, shouldn’t be no surprise.
It’s like this: People in here need things and I know how for get people what they need. There’s plenty guys in here that’s down for whatever. I got some clout now, so I spread the word and my new friends do what they gotta—threaten and flex, bribe, play boy-toy games, I don’t care—to get Crazy Eights off my back and keep ’um off my back. I give my people their cut. So I got my friends and Justice-guys outside these walls getting stuff to Trujillo and whoever’s with him, bringing it inside to me. Like I’m Amazon dot com or something. I still get heat from Eights sometimes but the more our agreement works for Trujillo the less I gotta worry. There’s a new normal and that new normal is two hookups, Eights with their people and me with everyone else.
Days go where I think about Mom and Dad and Kaui on the outside, everything they need, and Noa gone away now. Long time I told myself things was gonna be different. Maybe all that was a dumb fucking dream from the start. Maybe it wasn’t never supposed for be anything but like this.
And that thought hits me fully true. And I know what I gotta do. When we get our walk time, I head to the phone and make a call, one of Justice’s guys, I don’t know his real name. On the phone he says he’s Paul.
“Hey, my man!” Paul says. He sounds as haole as can be. “I hope you’re . . . getting by in there. Doing your time, right?”
“Yeah, speaking of,” I say. I gotta figure how for tell him my idea. “Feels like it’s gonna be longer than I thought, you know? Some days I think I might do something stupid, get in trouble, just for stay in here.”
He’s quiet. Thinking. “Well, slow down,” he says. “You do what you gotta do. I’m not there, so I don’t know what it takes. But think about everyone out here, you know?”
That’s him saying, We appreciate your services, but don’t stay in there too long. It’s good, I figure. Means they think I can do bigger things on the outside.
“Yeah, you’re right,” I say. “Just been thinking about my family, too, you know? I wanna have ’um proud of me, when I get out.”
Which is me saying, I need to get money to my family.
My money.
Our money.
“Yeah, I hear you,” Paul says.
Once the bank account gets big enough to mean something, it’s going straight to Hawai‘i. I know Justice-guys can help make that happen.
After the call, I start figuring how for get a little more time in here. There’s all sorts of rules to break, and you know that’s one thing I’m good for.
Yeah. I can do this.