I’ve thought about my situation for a few days now and I can’t see any way that I am going to prove Edward wrong without going home and doing some digging.
I could of course just ask Mom and Dad but for some reason I don’t want to do that.
I’m hoping that this is all just one big misunderstanding and if I keep it to myself then I don’t have to upset anyone else.
Right now, I don’t believe Edward but deep down inside I know that some of what he said makes sense.
If it wasn’t for him talking about my middle name then I would have written him off completely as a nut job but his words seem to have some truth to them.
I’ve thought about asking Olivia’s opinion a few times but just like when I try to call my parents, I hesitate.
Spring break is nearly here and I see that as the perfect opportunity to go home for a few days.
I’m supposed to be working through Spring break but I’m sure I will be able to get a few days off and the best part is that Olivia has already made other plans.
If she was planning on hanging around here then she would want to fly home with me and I wouldn’t be able to go through my parents’ things without her questioning my every move.
She’s far too observant for her own good and this is something that I need to do on my own.
I haven’t spoken to Mom since I ran into Edward because it feels strange, I can’t help shake the feeling that she has been deceiving me my whole life.
I’ve been using the excuse that I’m crazy busy with classes and assignments so I have only been texting her but making sure I don’t respond to any of her messages straight away.
It’s exhausting keeping all of this to myself but I’m hoping in a few weeks, this mystery will be solved and I can put it behind me.
Pulling up Dad’s number instead, I hit call and try to keep the nervousness out of my voice.
He answers straight away, “Hey Maddy, this is a nice surprise.”
“Yeah I don’t have long,” I lie. I thought talking to Dad would be easier than Mom but it’s just as bad, is he even my real dad? Since I met Edward, I’ve been questioning everything about my life and it’s making me paranoid. “I was just thinking that I’ve changed my mind and would like to come home for Spring break after all.”
I can practically see the smile on his face. “That’s wonderful Maddy, we would love to have you home and I know the boys miss you.”
My brothers.
If Edward is right and my mom is actually my stepmom then that makes them my half-brothers.
I try to shut that thought down. “Great, thanks, I just wanted to catch you before class to let you know.”
“Do you want me to book the ticket or just send you the money for it?” By the tone of his voice, I can almost picture his excitement. He tries to play it a lot cooler than Mom but I know it’s been hard on him having me away at college.
He basically tries to convince me to come home every holiday and long weekend with the excuse that my brothers would love to see me.
“Um, could you please book it? Just for a few days, I really need a break,” and I really need to get off the phone or he’s going to know that somethings up.
I’ve never been a good liar and I’m even worse at trying to hide my emotions from my family when I’m upset.
Olivia can lie through her teeth to her family while smiling like an angel but that’s not something that I’ve mastered. Truthfully, I’ve never wanted to hide anything from them before.
“You got it, I’ll send you the ticket later today.” He seems so excited to see me that I feel bad about keeping this from him.
I’m not normally the type of person to keep things to myself.
Apart from secretly being in love with Tyler, I’m an open book.
Talking to him is harder than I thought it would be. I just want to scream at him, ask him if he’s been lying to me my whole life but that’s not me. I need facts first. Proof that they have been lying. “Thanks Dad. Um, I’ve got to go.”
“That’s alright Maddy, I’ll talk to you later. I love you.”
After hesitating briefly, I say, “I love you too Dad.”
But will I still love him if I find out that he’s been lying to me for my entire life?
Can I ever forgive them if they really have kept this huge secret from me?
It’s not like they told me that my childhood dog got sent to live on a farm. If there’s some truth to what Edward was saying then it’s kind of a big deal.
It’s a monumentally huge deal.
“Hey Maddy. Are you still in that weird funk? What’s going on with you girl?” Startled by Olivia’s voice, I try to paint a smile on my face.
I’ve been doing that a lot lately, completely zoning out to the point where I don’t even know if she’s in the room. It’s getting harder to pretend that I’m alright.
“Nothing, I’m fine, just a little stressed out.” Which is actually true.
Meeting Edward Allerton the other day has done nothing but stress me out.
I’m struggling to focus in my classes and every time I go to the library or sit down in my bedroom to study or work on an assignment, I end up zoning out and going over every detail of my childhood.
The thought crosses my mind that I could just ask Aunty Eva about Edward. I’m sure I would be able to get something out of her but then her and Mom are so close she’s bound to tell her that I was asking questions.
Same goes for everyone else that has been close to our family since before I was born. They like to share everything, including what us kids get up to and that hasn’t changed just because we are adults.
Maybe if I tell her that it’s really important, she will keep it to herself.
She’s kept plenty of things from Uncle Mason to protect Olivia, maybe she would do this for me? She’s always treated me like one of her children and I’ve never asked her for anything before now.
I’m startled back to the present by Olivia sitting down opposite me at our small table and waving her hand in front of my face. “That’s a lie, now spill.”
Needing to tell her something, I scramble for a good excuse, “I’m getting Dad to book me a ticket home for Spring break, just for a few days but I feel like I need a bit of space.”
“A bit of space? From me?” she asks sadly.
“No, no, no. Never you, I promise.” Shit, what do I say? “Um, it’s Grayson. I think he’s getting a bit serious and I’m not sure whether I’m ready for that yet.”
Which actually isn’t a lie either.
He is getting a bit serious and I’m definitely not ready for that.
Sometimes I think he might be close to throwing out the ‘L’ word and I have no idea how I would react if he actually did.
I like Grayson and even though I enjoy hanging out with him, I can’t see us lasting long term and I definitely don’t see myself falling in love with him.
Olivia seems to buy my lame excuse and I feel terrible for lying to my best friend. “Oh, well I guess you have been spending most of your free time with him but I thought that meant you were happy.”
“I am happy, I just need a small break, that’s all. Get everything clear in my head,” and once I confirm that this Edward guy is lying about the whole real Mom thing, life can go back to normal.
She starts biting on her lower lip, “Do you want me to cancel my trip down to New York and come with you?”
“No of course not, you don’t get to spend nearly enough time with Tyler,” and I don’t want anyone to know what I’m up to just yet.
She sighs, “Fine but if you change your mind, you know I will buy a ticket to Seattle in a heartbeat.”
I know she would, because she’s a good friend. Unlike me. “I know but I swear I’m good.”
Olivia seems mostly satisfied by my answer and stands from the table. “Okay well I have to get ready for class but how about you and I stay in tonight and have a girl’s night? We can do each other’s hair and watch romantic comedies.”
I chuckle at her saying that we can do each other’s hair, that’s something we used to do when we were younger during sleepovers. Even Tyler did my hair a few times. “That sounds good Olivia, I’ll see you tonight.”
Glancing down at the time, I realize that I sat here for longer than I thought.
If I don’t leave right now, I’m going to be late for class.
Grabbing my bag, I race out the door and walk as fast as I can towards campus.
I need to get my head on straight, I have assignments I need to finish and there’s no point obsessing over who my parents are when I will have the answer soon enough.
In a couple of weeks, I will be able to put this whole mess behind me and when I do, I will be ringing that Edward Allerton and giving him a piece of my mind.