All day, Monica found herself thinking about Nate and his son, Nathaniel, the boy who could have been her son as well.
She had also been thinking about the conversation she’d had with Nate the other night in the park. She had been bothered so much by these two things that at lunch Monica left the store and found herself sitting in Tabatha’s living room, talking to her friend on her day off. Monica had told Tabatha how she had bumped into Nate this morning, how she had met his adopted son.
“He just seemed different,” Monica told Tabatha. “He seemed settled, and content, and more fulfilled than I’ve ever seen him.”
“So?” Tabatha said.
“He seems the way I knew he would have been if I would have given him the child he wanted.”
“And how is that?”
“I don’t know,” Monica said, smiling uncomfortably. “Perfect. He was a good man before, but there was always something missing, that thing he longed for. Now…”
“With Nathaniel, he seems to have found it,” Tabatha finished for Monica.
“Yeah.”
“I say again, so?”
“I know I told you that I don’t want you to talk about my situation with Lewis anymore, but I want you to tell me what you honestly think of it. I want you to tell me how I’m perceived by our friends, by our business associates.”
Tabatha stood from the sofa. “Why would you want to hear that? You aren’t going to do nothing but marry Lewis anyway.”
“You don’t know that.”
“You’re scared,” Tabatha said, sitting back down again. “You’re frightened to death of being alone, otherwise you wouldn’t be with Lewis. You two have nothing in common.”
“We both like the same foods. We like some of the same TV shows. And every now and then we have a good time together.”
“You probably have that in common with every other man in Chicago, Monica. What do you have in common that matters? You have a master’s degree, he has a high school diploma. You own your own business, he works part-time. You like to talk business and politics, he likes to talk sports and rap music.”
“That doesn’t mean I can’t love him,” Monica said defensively.
“No. It doesn’t mean that. But relationships are difficult enough with someone you share similar interests with. Why make things harder for yourself with someone like Lewis. Monica, look,” Tabatha said, scooting closer to her on the sofa. “You wanted to know what people think of the man you chose to be with. After being with Nate, people think you’re slumming. They think you’ve taken in a charity case, someone less than what you deserve, because you’ve been hurt and you don’t want the risk of being hurt again by someone on your level.”
“That’s not true,” Monica said.
“The reason why Lewis doesn’t like accompanying you to business functions is because he has nothing to say. He feels out of place around all those executives and corporate folks, talking about things he has no clue about.” Tabatha paused for a moment, looking at her friend with compassion. “Monica, you marry this man, all he’s going to do is keep you from going as far as you can go.”
“That’s not true.”
“You might want to expand your business, but he’ll try to stop you, because he won’t want you to become more successful than you already are. You might want to go back to school to get your Ph.D., but he might not want you to, because the gap in your education is already wide enough.”
Monica dropped her face in her hands. “It sounds like something Nate said the other night. He asked me did I expect to grow with Lewis? I couldn’t answer him.”
“I think Nate still loves you.”
“Don’t say that. I don’t need to hear that right now.”
“Why not? Because you still have feelings for him? Because you know he’s a better man than Lewis could ever be, even after the stunt he pulled last year?”
“No,” Monica said, looking up at Tabatha. “Because Lewis accepted me when Nate didn’t. Because Lewis gave me his child when he knew I couldn’t have one of my own. I can’t abandon him just because he doesn’t have a degree or watch CNN. He was the man who was there for me during a time when I had no one else.”
“I’m sorry to say, but that time has gone, baby, and maybe Lewis should be gone too. You know what I mean?”
Monica looked up sadly at her friend but did not say a word.