Two nights later, wearing a silver sequined backless evening gown, Monica walked into the Hilton’s large, elegantly decorated ballroom.
The hall was busy with men and women dressed in tuxedos and beautiful formal dresses. They stood, sipping from champagne glasses, chatting and laughing, as big band jazz played in the background.
A man stopped in front of Monica. “You look amazing tonight,” he said. It was William Keys, one of her customers. He worked at the Benston law firm downtown.
“Thank you,” Monica said, taking the hug he offered her. But her mind was somewhere else. As she hugged William, she was glancing over his shoulder, scanning the room for Nate.
“Well, gotta mingle. See you around okay?” William said.
“Yeah, okay,” Monica said, walking deeper into the room.
She had called Nate back, the day after she had first asked him to go with her to this event. Monica was uncertain if she should have gone through with it, and Nate picked up on that right away.
“Is everything all right? You sure about wanting me to go with you?” he asked.
“I’m positive,” she said, sounding far less than certain.
“I’m not going to ask why your fiancé isn’t going.”
“Good. Don’t. You want to come with me or not?”
After a short pause, Nate said, “Sure. Yeah, I’ll go.”
Monica filled Nate in on the details, where and when to meet her, then quickly got off the phone.
Now, walking slowly through the throngs of people, a wineglass in her hand, Monica realized how short she’d been with him and wouldn’t have blamed him if he just didn’t show.
After smiling, greeting, and chatting with at least a dozen people, Monica found a velvet-cushioned bench to sit on.
She turned up her glass and swallowed the last of her wine.
“Easy. You gotta pace yourself if you don’t want to end up drunk and have some man take advantage of you.”
Monica looked over the rim of her glass and saw Nate looking incredibly handsome, wearing his black tuxedo, standing before her. He had gotten a fresh haircut, a close shave, and every crease and corner of his suit was razor sharp. His teeth gleamed, and his cufflinks and the Cartier watch he wore sparkled.
“I was starting to worry that you wouldn’t show,” Monica said.
Nate reached out, took Monica’s hand, and said, “That’s something that you need never worry about again.”
Nate seemed to be having a wonderful time. The two had engaging conversations with other couples and groups, talking about everything from politics to world events to, of course, business. There were so many people who knew Nate, had known Monica from when they were married, and they smiled when they saw the two of them together.
While dancing, Monica’s hand on Nate’s shoulder, she asked, “Why do people keep smiling at us?”
“What people?” Nate said, his palm pressed softly into the small of Monica’s back.
“Your friends, Barry over there, and some of the people we used to hang out with.”
“They see us and think we’ve gotten back together.”
Monica and Nate danced and drank and chatted for the entire three hours of the event. Afterward, they stood outside in the warm Chicago spring evening, waiting for the valet to take the tickets Nate held.
Nate turned to Monica and smiled. She smiled back, pulling her silk shawl up over her shoulder, then looked away.
A young man hurried over to Nate. “Your ticket, sir.”
Nate gave the man one ticket, and the red-jacketed valet ran off. “You only gave him one.”
“That’s because I want you to come with me.”
“Nate, no,” Monica said.
“Before you say no—”
“I already did. We aren’t going to—”
“We’ll drive to my house, you can spend fifteen minutes with Nathaniel, and I’ll drive you right back. When I told him I was going out with you, he made me promise I’d bring you back, even if only for a moment,” Nate said. “Please, Monica.”
Monica glanced down at her watch. It was only fifteen minutes after ten o’clock. Lewis would not be looking for her. Yesterday he had admitted that Freddy had gotten tickets to a Bulls game, and that’s where he would be. Monica couldn’t believe he’d actually admitted that to her.
“Okay, but only for a few moments.”
When Nate and Monica walked into his house, Mrs. Weatherly was sitting in the living room, reading a romance novel by the light of an end-table lamp.
She stood, smoothed the front of her dress, smiled, and then walked over to meet the couple.
“Mrs. Weatherly,” Nate said, his hand at the small of Monica’s back again. “This is Monica, my…well, you know who she is.”
Mrs. Weatherly extended a hand. “Very good to meet you, ma’am. I’ve heard so much about you…from both of the Nates.”
Monica shook Mrs. Weatherly’s hand and smiled, thanking her. “Please, call me Monica.”
“Mr. Kenny, Nathaniel fought like a champion, but he just could not stay awake till you got back. I know he would love to see the two of you. Should I wake him?”
“No, Mrs. Weatherly, let him sleep.” Nate turned to Monica. “I’m going to walk Mrs. Weatherly back to her house in the back, but please, go on upstairs and see Nathaniel. His room is the first door on the left.”
“No. I’ll just wait—”
“Monica, please. It’s fine. I’ll be right behind you. Okay?”
Monica smiled, nodded her head. “Okay.”
After Nate and Mrs. Weatherly walked out, Monica slowly climbed the stairs to the second level.
Nathaniel’s door was open. She stepped into a room decorated with items seemingly from every cartoon ever created. A dim blue lamp glowed at his bedside. Monica walked quietly up to the boy’s small twin bed and just stood over him.
He lay on his back, his face turned toward her, wearing white Spider Man pajamas. Monica sighed, in awe at his beauty.
This was the child she had sought out, the child she had found, had wanted so badly to mother, and here he lay, just before her, and she could do nothing but admire him. If things had gone the way she wanted them, the way she planned—no, no! Monica told herself not to get caught up in that. It was over. The decision had been made. She had left Nate, and she could never go back. But couldn’t she? She was standing in this room, in her ex-husband’s house, over the boy who believed she was his mother.
She was not certain, but she believed Nate still loved her and would take her back if she even hinted that she was interested. Against her will, she allowed her mind to take her there, to the days in that possible future, where they would be a family. She would raise this boy, love him, as she would love Nate again.
She suddenly felt a pain, the loss of what she’d had with Nate, and a longing for what she knew she could never have with Nathaniel.
Monica reached out, smoothed her hand against the boy’s curly hair. She touched his fat little cheek, then leaned over and kissed him lightly. When she leaned back, she felt Nate’s presence. Not at the door looking in, but behind her, right behind her. She could feel the warmth of his breath on her neck. Then she heard a whisper that sounded like his voice, saying, “I miss you so much.”
Monica stood frozen, feeling the slightest kiss on the curve of her skin, between her shoulder and her neck. It sent a warm chill across the entire surface of her body, but still she did not move. When she finally turned around, not a half a minute later, there was no one there.
After Monica descended the last stair, she saw Nate in the living room, pulling his tie from around his neck, laying it on the table. He turned around as though he had not been upstairs at all. “So, you have a good visit with Nathaniel?”
Monica just gazed at Nate, not knowing what to feel. “Yes,” she said, her voice soft.
“He’s gonna throw a tantrum finding out that he missed you.”
“Tell him I’ll see him again,” Monica said, walking up to Nate, looking at him as if expecting him to clarify all the uncertainty in her head.
“So you ready to go?”
“Yes,” Monica said, the dreamy quality still in her voice.
“Then I’ll take you to your car.”
Half an hour later, Monica stood outside of Tabatha’s door, waiting for the woman to answer.
When her friend finally opened up, she said, “Girl, what are you doing here? I thought the gala was tonight.”
“It was. It’s over,” Monica said, sounding as though she were in a mild trance. “But I have a problem.”
“What is it?”
“I’m think I’m falling in love with Nate again.”