Amanda remained in the room with Cal, who still looked more confused than anything else, and Daniella, who seemed to be on the verge of throwing something or crying. She started with Daniella. “Honey—”
“Don’t honey me. I can’t believe you won’t give M another chance. She left Bella for you.” Daniella’s tone was sharp.
“I can see you’re really upset by this, but I’m not sure what gave you the impression we were—”
“She told me, okay? She told me you got together the night of my concert and she told me she still had feelings for you.”
“What?” Cal sounded even more bothered by that than the fact she and Mel had hooked up in the first place.
Daniella planted her hands on her hips. “She still loves you, more than she ever loved Bella.”
She was pretty certain Mel mostly loved what she couldn’t have, but she wasn’t about to say that to Daniella. “But there’s a reason we broke up. Probably a hundred or more reasons. Those don’t just go away because enough time has passed.”
Daniella lifted her chin, defiant. “Some of them did. M got tenure. You’re not working as many crazy hours as you used to. And Cal and I aren’t needy little kids taking up all your time.”
“You were never needy little kids.” She looked at both Daniella and Cal, hoping they didn’t doubt that for even a second.
Daniella sighed. “You know what I mean.”
“Honey, I’m sorry if Mel telling you about us made you think there was some chance we’d end up back together.” Apologizing for Mel’s behavior while at the same time wanting to throttle her felt like a cruel irony.
Another sigh, this one laced with a groan of frustration. “It was my idea, okay?”
Even without knowing exactly what Daniella meant, she knew it wasn’t good. “What was your idea?”
“The dough sheeter, the grand gesture, everything. I convinced her to go for it.” Her voice cracked at the end and she swiped away tears with the back of her hand.
“Oh, Daniella.” Her frustration with Mel remained, but her heart ached for her daughter.
“It was stupid. I get it. You’re in love with Quinn now and M doesn’t stand a chance.”
For as mature as Daniella was when it came to a lot of things, her take on love and relationships and her parents wasn’t one of them. At least not yet. “It wasn’t stupid. It’s perfectly reasonable to want your parents to be together.”
Daniella shook her head and rolled her eyes. “I thought I was over it, you know? Like, I haven’t spent the last ten years pining to be a family again. It’s just, I don’t know. When it seemed like there was a chance it might happen, I guess I got excited.”
This was exactly the reason she didn’t want to tell the kids in the first place. But of course Mel wouldn’t see it that way. For as much as she loved her children, her own needs and desires always came first. “I’m sorry.”
“It doesn’t matter. It’s too late.” Without waiting for a reply or anything else, Daniella shook her head and left.
Amanda was torn between chasing after her and giving her space. Since Cal remained—looking completely shell-shocked—the latter won out. Since the first apology had been directed at Daniella, she decided to lead with, “I’m sorry.”
He shook his head. “I don’t get it.”
“It was a bad idea, but sometimes we get caught up in things and we don’t make the best choices.” This one might top her all-time list of terrible decisions.
“But I thought you were with Quinn. I thought Quinn made you happy.”
“She does.” It struck her how much Cal had picked up on that, especially given the extent to which Daniella refused to.
He frowned and continued to shake his head.
“What M and I had was brief and then it ended before Quinn and I even started dating. I thought we were both clear on that, but I was wrong.” And even in her anger, part of her felt terrible about that.
“Yeah, okay.”
She blew out a breath. “I’m sorry she misunderstood, and I’m even sorrier you and Daniella got caught up in the mess.”
“Caught up?” He stuck out his hands with exasperation. “I’m just finding out about it today.”
“Do you want to know more?” Not that she wanted to talk about it. But it wouldn’t be fair to let him be the only one in the dark.
Just as quickly as his hackles were raised, he slumped his shoulders in seeming defeat. “Is it really over? There’s no chance you’re getting back together?”
She shook her head. “No chance.”
“Then I don’t think I do. Is that okay?” The worried look on his face made her want to hug him.
“Completely okay. I think it would be for the best if we could put it all behind us.”
“Yeah.” This yeah had more feeling than the first.
“Are you okay?”
He nodded, then rolled his eyes. “Better than Daniella, apparently.”
Ugh. That was the truth. “She’ll be okay. Eventually.”
“I’ll go try to find her.”
He’d probably have better luck than she would at this point. “That would be great. And I really am sorry for this, for keeping it from you.”
He crossed the room and gave her a hug. “You’re a grownup, Mom. You don’t have to tell your kids everything.”
And just like that, he made everything a tiny bit better. “Thank you.”
“Maybe go find Quinn, though. She looked kind of freaked last time I saw her.”
A whole new wave of panic swept through her. “I will. I just need one second to pull myself together.”
He hugged her again, then he was gone. She covered her face with her hands for a second and tried to take the kind of slow, deep breaths that were supposed to be calming. How much had Quinn seen? Heard? As much as part of her didn’t want to know, to face it, she needed to find out. Maybe more importantly, she needed to explain. And there was only one way to do it.
* * *
Every instinct in Quinn’s body told her to flee, but her feet remained rooted to the floor. Like an accident on the side of the road, she couldn’t tear her eyes away. Not from Mel when she emerged from the room. Not from Daniella and Cal when they followed and looked at her with something resembling disdain and pity, respectively.
Part of her wanted to go to Amanda. Whether to have it out or reassure, she didn’t know. But she remained fixed in the kitchen. Waiting.
After a long moment, Amanda came out. She looked exhausted and, maybe, defeated. Quinn’s heart broke a little more, for completely different reasons than before.
When Amanda caught sight of her, she came to an abrupt stop. “How much of that did you hear?”
Quinn blew out a breath. “Enough.”
Amanda winced.
“I heard raised voices and I was worried.”
“I’m so sorry.”
Quinn nodded without being sure why. No, that wasn’t true. She had no doubt Amanda did feel sorry. What she was sorry for was another matter. Quinn couldn’t even begin to settle on what, exactly, Amanda was regretting. She had even less of an idea about her own feelings.
“I wanted to find you, to talk, after Mel pulled that stunt with the sheeter.”
She thought about her own gift to Amanda and laughed. It sounded hollow and brittle in her own ears. “Quite the statement.”
“It was presumptuous and extravagant and—”
She lifted her hand and Amanda stopped speaking. “You don’t need to downplay it for my benefit.”
Amanda shook her head. “I’m not. The whole thing made me uncomfortable, but I didn’t want to cause a scene.”
Even as her heart wrenched, she understood. “I think I should go.”
Amanda’s expression was pained. “Please don’t.”
“I’m not saying we can’t talk, but you still have a bakery full of guests and I’m sure people are looking for you.” And there was the matter of not trusting herself to have a rational conversation.
“I don’t want to leave things like this.”
“I think we have to. Go take care of what you need to take care of.” To think she’d been on the verge of telling Amanda she was in love with her.
“Are you sure?”
She wasn’t sure of much at this point, save the pressing need to go hole up far, far away from this moment. “I’m sure.”
“Tonight, maybe? After all this is over?”
Quinn nodded, relieved but also a bit devastated Amanda was so quick to agree. “Of course.”
“I really am sorry.”
Again, the apology offered little in the way of clarity or reassurance. “Me, too.”
Amanda looked at her with confusion but didn’t press. Instead, she took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. “Thank you.”
She strode out of the room with purpose, leaving Quinn standing there all alone. Despite the wish to escape, she lingered. Memories of being in that exact spot—during the initial walk-through, during construction, with Amanda that very morning—played through her mind. She’d gone from being unsure about ever falling in love again to setting herself up for another broken heart. The irony of both playing out in a few short months made her ache.
“Quinn?”
She turned at the sound of Cal’s voice. “Hey.”
Cal looked at his feet, then back at her. “You okay?”
“Yeah. Thanks.” He didn’t need to hear the voices and questions swirling around her brain. And to be honest, the fact that he thought about her, came and checked on her, helped in quieting those voices.
“You’re not going to break up with my mom, are you? Because of this?”
It still caught her how much people his age could sound like total grownups one second and little kids the next. “I wasn’t planning to, but I’m not sure where it leaves us.”
She desperately wanted to ask if he’d prefer his parents get back together, but she wouldn’t do that to him. Not because he wasn’t mature enough to have a meaningful answer, but because it was an unfair question in the first place.
“Good.” He looked at his feet again and Quinn couldn’t decide if there was something else he wanted to say or if he didn’t know how to leave the conversation gracefully. Eventually, he looked up. “She’s happier than she’s been in a long time and I’m pretty sure it’s because of you.”
She knew enough from her relationships with Jacob and Adam that teenage boys didn’t say things like that just to say them. Not that she’d descended to hopelessness, but his words fortified her. “The feeling is mutual.”
“Good.” He nodded this time, as though confirming something he’d hoped was true.
“I am going to take off, though. I think there’s been enough excitement for one day.”
He nodded again, but his face was sad. “Yeah.”
“Good luck next week with orientation and classes starting and everything. You’re going to do great.”
“You say that like I’m not going to see you.”
She had absolutely no idea what was going to happen with Amanda, but she offered him an encouraging smile. “Of course you will. But probably not before you move in.”
He sighed. “Right. Yeah.”
She was in love with Amanda, but she was also kind of in love with her kids. Well, one of them at least. “Once you’re settled, I’ll come take you to lunch.”
That seemed to cheer him up. “Yeah, okay. Cool.”
“I’m sure your parents have everything covered, but if you need something, text me. Okay?”
“I will.” He nodded with more enthusiasm.
“Good.”
She started to leave, but he put a hand on her arm. “I don’t know how much of that you heard, but my sister is out of her mind. Our moms should not get back together. Like, at all.”
She laughed in spite of the hollowness in her chest. “Thanks.”
He offered her a half smile, like they were in on some sort of secret together. “Anytime.”
She did leave then, feeling perhaps a shred less hopeless than a few minutes before. On the drive home, she tried to shut off the questions and fears. She failed spectacularly.