“I think this nigga is still in love with his ex-wife,” I blurted out to three of my girls.

It had been a week since that episode went down at my house between Te and me, and I hadn’t heard from him since. Of course, I’d been reaching out to him, so we could talk, but he hadn’t responded to any of my text messages, and the nigga hadn’t returned any of my phone calls either. Because I followed him on social media, I saw that earlier in the week, he’d flown down to Miami to watch his son play in a basketball game. The nigga swore on everything that he and that bitch weren’t fuckin’, but I had no understanding of why he had to watch his son play ball with her, and then the three of them had to go out to dinner, looking like a fuckin’ family. He showed the shit in his story, and because Te was a celebrity, paparazzi had snapped pictures, and all kinds of blogs had been posting it.

It was hard to see the man I really loved out with another woman who he had a deep history with and then to read the comments of pretty much the whole world saying how beautiful of a family the three of them were and that they should get back together. I wasn’t even the insecure type, but this situation with Te made me feeling like I was losing my touch. I was so used to being able to snag any nigga I wanted, having a nigga break bread on me like it was nothing and ready to leave his entire family to be with me, but with Te , it was like pulling teeth.

For a while now, I had felt like it was hard for him and me to be anything other than merely fuck buddies because his heart was still with her. But , lately, seeing this nigga in action and hearing how highly he spoke of her really had me believing that I would never have him the way I wanted.

“Oh , bitch. I could have told you that,” one of my girls, Crissa , let out.

It was Saturday night, and Crissa , Jailene , Tamica , and I were all chilling at Jailene’s house. Those were women I had been close with since we were in high school. They were my girls who knew all my deepest, darkest secrets. If we ever had a falling out one day and stopped dealing with each other, one of those bitches would have to die because they knew too much about me.

On Saturday nights, we were known for hitting up a club and enjoying ourselves, but we had hopped in the group chat earlier in the day and agreed that we could use a chill night. I think we were all a little drained from the nightlife. None of us were married, but I didn’t think that said a lot about us as women, though. It just said a lot about these ain’t shit niggas that we were left to choose from here in Cali .

Crissa and Tamica were the only two out of the group who had kids. We were all women in our thirties who were all past the thirty-five-year-old cut-off time for when a woman was considered in good standing to have a child. I’d just turned thirty-seven a few months ago, but I didn’t care about the time clock that was put on us as women because I didn’t necessarily want a child. I mean, if I could by any chance pop out a baby for some of the millionaire dick out there, then, of course, I wouldn’t miss that opportunity, but having a baby by one of these regular, cheap ass niggas? Hell no.

“Why do you feel that way, though?” Tamica asked right before she took a long pull from the hookah tip in front of her.

We were sitting in the backyard, and everyone had their own hookah and a drink in their cup. We’d just finished eating Chinese food not too long ago, and now we were just chilling. It was a little after ten at night, there was some R &B music playing, and because I had been drinking a bit, it caused me to get in my feelings.

“I mean, why wouldn’t I feel this way? Y’all see the shit in the blogs that this nigga is out here doing with her. He moves like that’s still his wife. Look at the way he spoke so highly of the bitch on that podcast that he did last weekend. Don’t even get me started on the Birkins he bought for her. As much dick as I’m over there sucking and fuckin’, I haven’t even gotten one Birkin bag from the nigga, and that bitch got ten,” I spat, not even bothering to hide the annoyance in my voice.

“I think their co-parenting style is just healthy, and like Mr . Man said in the podcast, the world just isn’t used to seeing healthy co-parenting. Automatically , when the world sees a divorced couple getting along and not down each other’s throats, we tend to think they gotta be fuckin’. Ion think he fuckin’ her, but sis, I do believe that man still has a lot of love for her. You see that shit in the pictures when he looks at her,” Jailene went to say.

I wanted my girls to tell me that I was crazy for feeling like Te might have still been in love with his ex-wife, but they all were seeing the same things that I was seeing, and that was painful to hear.

“I haven’t heard from his ass in a week. After calling him out on it, I guess I pissed him off, so I haven’t heard from him since he stormed out of my house. I don’t get why the fuck he wants to be with her anyway. Don’t she have lupus or some shit? You know that messy ass blog, Teatime , posted her the other day, showing a picture of her from last year compared to a picture that was just taken of her last week, and she lost a good amount of weight. Bitch probably sickly, and that’s who he finds himself trying to run behind,” I spat. I knew it sounded hateful, but I was hurt, and those were my feelings.

“Ooooh , Lia , don’t do that. Be mad at the nigga, don’t be mad at Serenity . That girl minds her business, and she stays the fuck out of the way. I love what she’s doing with her dance company too. You know Tyra hard down cried a couple of weeks ago, wanting me to take her to the studio so she could audition, but I wasn’t willing to just pack up my life so she could dance in Miami for her. She’ll just have to continue dancing at the studios here. Don’t come for that woman’s health like that. I’m with you when you’re right, but come on, don’t say that,” Tamica , who always acted like the mother of the group, said to me.

Tyra was her eight-year-old daughter, and that little girl loved herself some dance. I didn’t even respond to Tamica . I just waved her off because I didn’t feel like going back and forth with her. The two of us were known for going at it because we hardly agreed on anything, but she was still my girl. We were two Scorpios with very dominant personalities and opinions, which caused us to clash a lot.

“Didn’t you go around his parents? How did that go?” Crissa asked.

I laughed while shaking my head at her question. “I don’t know if it was my outfit choice or the fact that her son had a new woman sitting with the family that wasn’t Serenity , but that bitch didn’t like me. I mean, I introduced myself to her once I sat down, but she was dull as hell. His pops was cool, though. He spoke to me throughout the game, just being friendly, but that was it. His best friend was there, and his ass didn’t even speak to me. The son pretty much acted like I didn’t exist. All me and Serenity did was wave at each other. I’m not going to even lie, the shit was awkward as hell, and that’s really why I was on my phone like that the entire game,” I revealed.

“Sounds like the family is not ready to give up Serenity’s spot to another woman. Fuck with the best friend. I saw his profile. That nigga is fine as fuck, and he looks paid,” Jailene stated, and I gagged at her response.

“He’s a dope boy, and you know I stopped fuckin’ with dope boys years ago. They’ll put you in some fucked up situations. Let’s not forget the time I was fuckin’ with Ian , and the fuckin’ door got kicked in at three in the damn morning with the Feds searching the place for drugs and guns. If that wasn’t a lesson learned, let’s bring up when I was fuckin’ around with Chris , and I was driving his car because mine was in the shop. I had niggas following me, thinking I was him, and ready to kill my ass. I’m good on drug dealers. I want me a nigga that’s rich, making legal money, and not afraid to spend that shit on me,” I asserted.

I worked, but I didn’t like spending my money. Instead , I liked to spend niggas’ hard earned money. I was a sales agent at Nordstrom , and that’s really how I met a lot of the rich niggas that I’d dealt with over the years. I had been around niggas who came into my store and spent close to one hundred thousand dollars on shoes and clothes like that shit was nothing. I was a well-known sales agent, and celebrities loved shopping with me, so I had somewhat of a big following on Instagram . I think I really got popular, though, just from being attached to different male celebrities. Because I was into fashion, a lot of my looks would go viral, so my following grew from there. People would pay me to promote their products and stuff on my social media, so that was another form of income.

“Damn . Yeah , I forgot about all of that. Well , girl, you gotta try to find a way to make Mr . Man fall in love with you. That’s one fine ass man, and he’s one of the highest paid athletes in the NBA . You better figure something out because that would suck for you to put in all that time and energy only for him to leave you for his ex-wife,” Jailene stated, bringing up something that I actually thought about often.

I just knew that one day I would see some shit on the blogs, broadcasting that Mr . Man and Serenity had gotten back together, and that would break my heart. I didn’t care what anyone said; I didn’t believe the ‘that’s my homie’ bullshit. That man was in love with her. I could see it in that nigga’s eyes, but I thought that with my good looks, good pussy, and the superior head that I gave him on a daily basis, I could make him fall out of love with her and fall for me. But it had been months, and it still hadn’t worked in my favor. I would just have to go another route with things because, like Jailene said, I would be a damn fool to fumble someone like Mr . Man .