“I on give a fuck about you being asleep. Get yo’ ass up!” my voice boomed in my son’s room the second I made my way inside and flicked the light on.

One in the fuckin’ morning, and I was up out of my bed to check my son. Earlier in the day, Serenity had hit me while I was in the middle of an interview. At the time, I couldn’t answer the phone right away. Serenity knew my schedule for the day because I’d talked to her the day before and told her what I had to do. Since I knew she wouldn’t call me in the middle of an interview under normal circumstances, I told the interviewer to let me take a quick five minutes, and I called her back.

She was all hysterical over the fuckin’ phone, telling me the bullshit that had gone down with Kari at school. I ain’t gon’ lie, when she was telling me the story, you know I had to question why she had to ring my phone back-to-back about Kari getting into a fight. Then she told me that the nigga he had been in a fight with had pulled his gun out and shot at my son.

She was on her way to the school when she called me. Shit , I was on the West Coast , so there wasn’t shit I could do but wait for Siri to get back with me and let me know everything that was going on. She didn’t hit me back until she’d gotten Kari from school, and that’s when she explained everything. I gave her ass strict orders not to take him anywhere and for him not to leave that house either because I needed him home by the time I got there. I only arrived so late because I had to handle a ton of business-related shit, and my son was at home safe, so that gave me peace of mind.

I watched Dakari as he sat up in the bed, removing the cover from his body. His ass wasn’t even asleep, but I didn’t even have the energy to call him out on that shit. Standing over him, I swear it felt like I was looking at the younger version of myself. Kari had both parents, a set of grandparents on my side, and a set on his mama’s side, who were all on top of the nigga, drilling into him so he could make good decisions, do well in school, and everything else, but the nigga was hard-headed as fuck, just as I was when I was his age. So , when he fucked up, it had to have been the same level of stress that my parents had when it came to me back then.

“That fuckin’ temper going to be the reason you lose it all—”

“Dad —”

“Man , don’t say shit until I finish talking because it ain’t shit that you can say right now that’ll justify shit. Fuck what that nigga said about me and your mama because Siri already told me that’s the reason you fought the nigga in the first place. You worrying about what a nigga that’s sixteen years old and in the eighth grade gotta say about you! Just off that, you already doing better than him, so fuck whatever kind of outlook he has on you and your family.

“You want to make it to the NBA , but you let every little thing somebody say cause you to lash out! No coach is going to want someone on their team with a fucked-up ass temper! You become a fuckin’ liability and a problem to the team with that shit. Look at you, bruh. You can’t even play in the championship game. When you are on a team, every fuckin’ decision you make needs to be one for the team, not your fuckin’ self. The team needs you at that game, and your ass is not going to even be able to suit up,” I snapped.

Kari listened to me with tears freely falling down his face and a look of anger. I had always encouraged my son to be in tune with his feelings. I never put that bullshit in his head that a man wasn’t supposed to cry, and that’s why he freely let tears fall from his eyes without being embarrassed to cry in front of me.

“I did drop it, though, Pops . I let him keep talking, but he started talking about Ma . He told me that she looked like she was about to drop dead. Come on now, Pops . You know that if somebody wants to hurt me, all they gotta do is bring up my mama’s illness. How you expect me to sit there and let somebody talk crazy like that about my mama? You know I can’t let nothing like that slide,” Kari stated, eyes red as he looked up at me.

I could see the pain in his eyes, and it hurt me. My son adored his mama, and I knew how upset that shit would get him whenever he saw people talking crazy about Siri online. Lately , motha fuckas had been speaking on her recent weight loss. I felt like a nigga had to walk on fuckin’ eggshells with her ass these days because the last time I tried to talk to her about her health, she got mad and wouldn’t talk to me for a few days. Since then, I had brought it up one other time, and she told me about the new flare that she had and the pain she’d been in lately, which was fuckin’ with her appetite.

All of that could have very well been true because I knew that with her lupus, her weight tended to be up and down, depending on how she felt at the time. I tried to ask her about the results of her tests since she’d told me that at her last appointment, they’d run tests on her, but all she said was, “I’m okay.” That was the selfish shit that pissed me the fuck off. Whether that was my wife or not, I wanted to know what the fuck was going on with her because she was still someone I loved, and she was the mother of my son, so I just wanted to be in the loop of shit.

Calming down a bit in my approach, I took a seat next to him on the bed. I couldn’t even act like I didn’t understand how my son felt because I did. I knew how that shit felt to love somebody so much and for someone to speak ill of them and disrespect them. With me being in the NBA , I had to watch my temper, though. I dealt with some crazy ass people on a daily basis who would talk reckless under my social media posts, and I’d had haters blurt some disrespectful ass shit out to me in the middle of games. If I reacted to every single fuckin’ thing somebody said to me, my ass would have been kicked out of the NBA years ago.

I needed my son to have that kind of mindset and stop letting everything get to him because that shit could cost him his future and, ultimately, his career. There wasn’t a team in the league that wanted a hot head to play for them because, when it came down to it, they would almost always disappoint their team along with their coaches.

“We gotta look at the seriousness of this shit, Kari . That nigga had a gun in his bookbag, shot that shit, and he could have killed you. That shit should have opened your eyes and let you realize that some shit you just have to learn to walk away from because niggas out here are jealous, hateful, and you don’t know what kinds of weapons they may be walking around with. Although you’re only thirteen years old, you have the talent of a ball player twice your age, and people know you’re the kind of dude that’s going to go pro. They’ll find any little reason to fuck up your future, and you’re giving them niggas all the opportunity to do that.

“You said you dropped it, and the nigga kept talking. That was a moment where I would have been cool with you grabbing up your bookbag and walking out of the class just to calm yourself down for a few minutes. I know you don’t want to hear nobody saying crazy shit about your mama. Shit , I don’t either, but you and I both know that Siri doesn’t need no defending,” I let him know.

A few tears were still falling from his eyes, but once he used his hands again to wipe them away, he was done crying for good.

“I’m sorry, Pops , and I know I got a lot to work on. I’m sorry you had to fly out here late at night to deal with the crap that I have going on at school. My bad for having Ma yell at you, too,” he told me.

I laughed at that last part while I shook my head and stood up.

“You already know all that barking your mama be in there doing don’t scare nobody but your ass. She’s going to fuck around and lose her voice with all that yelling,” I said, and he laughed.

“Can I do my ten-day suspension in Cali with you?” he asked, and I looked at him like he was crazy.

“Nigga , no! You trying to be slick because you know your mama is going to put your black ass to work. She about to have you mopping floors, painting walls, cutting grass, and cleaning the pool, so hell nah, you can’t come with me. Do your bid right in Miami . Right where the fuck you did your dirt. In the morning, you need to go in there and apologize to your mama about that shit in school. You ran her crazy. It’s been hours, and she still hasn’t calmed down,” I told him, and he just nodded his head.

“You know they arrested that nigga, right? I called and talked to the principal,” I stated.

“Good . These niggas be so soft. Never want to fight. Always so quick to pull out a gun and try to kill somebody. I bet you that was his big brother Tabari’s gun. His brother sells drugs,” my son told me.

“Well , pretty soon, both of them niggas going to be sitting in a prison cell. I’m about to talk with your mama, and then Ima head back out because I have a meeting in the morning. If I was you, I would go to bed. You know she’s going to have your ass up bright and early. Good luck to you, son,” I sarcastically said because Siri was going to give this nigga hell.

I could tell from the look on his face that he didn’t even want to talk about it, and he didn’t find this shit funny in the least.

Before I left the room, I walked over to him, and he stood. I hugged him like a father would hug their son, who they would literally lay down and die for. I let him know that I loved him, and then I eventually let him go. That hug was a little tighter and longer tonight than any hug we’d ever had in the past. The possibility that my son could have died today if that bullet had lodged into him was enough to fuck with my mental, even though no one could really see it because I did a damn good job of keeping my feelings at bay.

I eventually left his room, closed the door behind me, and walked down the long hallway back to Siri’s bedroom. The door was still cracked like I had left it, so I just stepped inside. Siri was sitting up on her side of the bed with her legs tucked under the covers. The TV remote was in her hands as she skimmed through movies on Netflix , trying to find something to put on. She had on black and white striped silk pajamas, and her bonnet was on her head. I walked over to her side of the bed, crossed my arms, and looked down at her. Siri was petty as fuck with her eyes on the TV , not even paying a nigga any attention.

“Bruh , you see me looking at you,” I stated and snatched the remote from her hands. I turned the TV off and tossed the remote on the dresser.

“What did you say to him?” she asked with her light brown eyes piercing through me,

“I got on him. I think what really got through to his ass was me telling him that he wasn’t going to make it to the NBA if he continued to get in fuckin’ fights every other week from not being in control of that quick ass temper. He gets that quick temper shit from you,” I stated and took a seat on the side of her bed.

She was sitting right behind me, and I felt her push me in my back.

“Dionte , please! You and I both know exactly where Kari gets that from. That’s that Reed blood he has in him. Always feeling the need to prove a damn point. It’s like he has to prove to the world that he isn’t a pussy, and that he can fight, and I hate that. I get on Kari all the time about having fights in school, and one of the things I always tell him is that everybody won’t be able to handle getting their ass beat. I talked to him about how dangerous people can be and look. This boy pulled out a gun, and he… shot at my fuckin’ baby. That shit just makes me so damn angry because this could have all gone down so differently today. I keep thinking about all the other messed up scenarios that could have happened,” she stated.

Her voice cracked, and when I looked behind me, there was a single tear falling from her eye. I reached back and wiped the tear, then I turned a bit so I was facing her.

“I been having some fucked up scenarios in my head as well since I found out what happened, but we can’t think like that because we’re going to drive ourselves fuckin’ crazy. He straight. He’s in the room, prepared to get a full night’s rest, so you can work him like a motha fuckin dog while he’s on suspension,” I threw in.

She cracked up with laughter as she wiped her eyes.

“I’m going to make his ass regret ever getting into that fight. I need so much done around the house. I want a new porch light, my new chandelier for my dining room is getting delivered tomorrow morning, I need to go through my closet and get rid of a lot of stuff, my cars need washing, and I need my floors waxed at the studio. I’m about to put his ass to work,” she promised.

I shook my head because I knew that was the real reason Kari had asked to do his ten-day suspension in Cali with me.

“You hell, man,” was all I could say as I shook my head.

“You leaving back out tonight, or are you flying back in the morning?” she asked.

“Why ? That’s your way of trying to get a nigga to stay the night?” I challenged.

She laughed like a nigga was Bernie Mac or some shit.

“Negative , sir. I can’t have my man thinking I still mess around with my ex-husband,” she said, lying on her side and placing her head on the pillow as she looked at me.

Siri’s face was so fuckin’ beautiful to me. She was free of any makeup. The only thing on her face was her lashes that she would get done and have her ass lying there for two hours. Because her face was bare, I could see a little of the red patches on her cheeks, probably left over from a flare. Swear it didn’t take away from her beauty, though.

“Ion believe that for a second, love. Kari already told me that you don’t go on dates. I also told him the first time he catches a nigga over here to Facetime me, so I can talk my shit,” I shot.

She looked at me and rolled her eyes. “But when you run around with your hoes, I leave you be. I don’t say anything to you about them bitches, and I don’t even address them, so why would you address somebody that I deal with?” she wanted to know.

“Them niggas ain’t deserving of you, shorty. That’s why,” I revealed and stood up from the bed, about to head out.

“You were?” she asked, sitting up in the bed.

I knew this conversation was going to get serious the second she shot her ass up in the bed. Not going to lie; I could feel myself getting a little pissed because what the fuck was she talking about? How could she question if I was deserving of her?

“Fuck is you talking about, yo? A nigga was more than deserving of you, Serenity . You was the best fuckin’ thing that ever happened to a nigga. I loved your ass more than ball. Don’t ever question the way a nigga felt about you!” I snapped, getting pissed off just that fast.

“Okay , we going to have this conversation right now, at one in the morning? Let’s have it then! Dionte , I felt like when I was with you, you were trying to make me choose! It was either I be in them fuckin’ stadiums to watch you play, or I be on tour, dancing and doing what I love. You didn’t like the fact that I had to juggle both. You wanted me in Cali , being a housewife and raising your son. You wanted me to say fuck my dreams and put everything I loved on hold—”

“Man , that’s bullshit! A nigga never put you in a position to choose. Did I want my wife home more? Yes . I expressed that to you, but shit, any man would express that shit. We were fuckin’ married. I didn’t like coming home after a game, and my wife and kid weren’t there. What did I do about that, though? I would fly out to wherever you were touring just to be able to see my son, love on him, and love on you. Half the time, I would have to leave right back out the next morning because I would have a game the next day. Years later, and I still feel like you faulting a nigga for wanting to be around my wife and my kid. Damn , what was the harm in that shit?” I asked, really wanting to know.

“Nothing , Dionte . I feel like we’re married again, and all I ever do is argue with you when I’m around you,” she voiced.

“Man , answer the question, yo. What was the harm in me wanting to be around my wife and my kid? I feel like we divorced because of me wanting ball, you, and Kari —”

“Dionte , we came to a mutual agreement to divorce—”

“Bruh , I ain’t ever want no fuckin’ divorce from you! Serenity , we were supposed to be motha fuckin’ locked in for life! Yeah , our shit was a little rocky, but we were supposed to work through that shit, not give the fuck up! We never came to a fuckin mutual agreement to divorce. I felt like our marriage wasn’t what you wanted anymore, and fuckin’ pride is what had me agreeing with you, knowing damn well I never wanted to sign them papers. So , chill out with that shit,” I snapped.

She got out of bed and stood in front of me.

“You know I much I loved you, Dionte . If I could have packed up my entire self and lived in your soul, you know I would have done it in a second, so I don’t want this to seem like something that I just tossed in the trash because I didn’t see the value in it anymore. I wanted us to work out, Dionte . For the sake of our son, for the years we’d invested, for the love I had for you, of course, I wanted to work things out, but I would’ve been in that marriage, feeling guilty for doing what I loved. I would turn down certain gigs, especially when I just got back home from tour, because I didn’t want it to seem like I wasn’t being a loving, supporting wife. Dionte , it was hard,” her voice cracked.

I pulled her to me and looked down at her.

“It was a marriage, Bay -Bay . That shit was supposed to be hard. The day we got married, the pastor told us that marriage was going to be hard, but we were supposed to work through that shit. Look , I think we’re both riled up with our emotions, especially because of the shit that happened today at school with Kari , so maybe right now isn’t the best time to have this conversation. Ima text you when I land.” I dropped her hands and kissed her on her forehead, then walked out of the bedroom.

With a quickness, I jogged down the stairs and walked out of the house. Serenity had a digital lock on her door, so I entered the code to lock it from outside. I had a driver bring me there, so I just hopped in the back, and he pulled out. I had to walk away from Serenity when I did because my dumb ass was seconds away from letting her know that I was still in love with her.