My head was in the clouds by the time I made it home that night. I’d gone to the movie, hesitant but hopeful. And it had ended…well, amazingly. I still had a lot to think about regarding his parents and the adoption and everything. It was so much to take in. But it also explained so much about him. I was excited that he was going to share New York with me, too. That we were going to get back on the same playing field.
I strolled into my house and found Jenny passed out on the couch. I gently shook her shoulder. “Hey, sleepyhead.”
Jen rubbed her eyes and sat up. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
“It’s okay. It’s kind of late.”
“Have a good night?” she asked. Then, she grinned when she saw the state of my attire. “A really good night?”
I laughed and ran a shaky hand through my disheveled hair. “Yeah. It went better than expected.”
“Good. I’m glad you went.”
“Me, too.”
Jenny stretched and then stood. “I’m going to head out. I’ll see you on Monday.”
“Sounds good.” Jen headed for the door when I remembered about New York. “Hey! Are you by any chance free to watch Jason next weekend? David wants to take me out of town.”
“Oh crap, you know I would, but that’s my big PCAT testing weekend. Intense classes and two fully timed tests.”
“Right. I forgot that was next weekend.”
“Yeah. I’m kind of a wreck. I don’t even know if I’m ready for this.”
“You’ll do great.”
“Thanks.” She smiled. “I hope you find someone for Jason. Wish I could help.”
“No, you’re awesome. You’re always a help. I don’t know what I’m going to do without you.”
“You’re a great mom, Sut. You’ll make it work.”
I locked the door behind Jenny and then hurried down the hall to Jason’s room. His door was cracked open with a night-light near the floor. I eased inside on silent feet, brushed his hair off his forehead, and then planted a kiss on his cheek.
“Love you, little man.”
I tucked him in and then reluctantly headed to my room with the big king-size bed. It felt strangely large and empty. I never shared this bed with a man other than Maverick, but tonight…I really wished David were here.
Jason and I passed the weekend in a whirlwind of activities that ended in exhaustion. I had no idea how that kid had such limitless energy. I felt ragged by the time I made it into the bakery Monday morning, bright and early. Luckily, baking brought out the best in me, and I perked up after my first rather large thermos of coffee.
Kimber was already hard at work, making a fresh batch of chocolate cupcakes, when I threw my apron on and entered the back.
“Morning,” she said.
“Good morning,” I said. “Smells heavenly.”
“Will you check the far oven? The vanilla should be ready.”
I put on oven mitts and removed the perfectly fluffy cupcakes from the oven. I left them to cool and then moved into step with Kimber. We worked for an hour or two in quiet conversation before the morning cashier, Mary Elizabeth, arrived to help with final touches.
“Okay. I can finish the rest up here if you want to head up front,” Kimber told us.
“Sounds good,” Mary Elizabeth said.
Before I left, I turned back to Kimber. “Hey, is there any chance you could take Jason for the weekend? David wants to take me out of town.”
“Oh, are you two back together?” she asked, her interest piqued.
“We’re working on it. Trying to be open to second chances.”
“I’m glad. I like him.” Then, she frowned. “But I actually think this weekend is bad for me. It’s the weekend before Emery’s wedding, and we have so much stuff left to do. Plus, the boys are all leaving for the bachelor party. Thank God the bachelorette thing was a couple of weeks ago.”
“Yeah, I’m glad she wanted to have it before school started for her.”
Emery was a high school teacher.
“Same. So, I think that I’ll be too busy. I’m sorry.”
“No, I totally get it. This is so last minute!”
“Well, let me know if you can’t get it to work. I could try if no one else is free.”
“Don’t worry about it. This is like a Hail Mary. If we don’t get to go, it won’t be the end of the world. Just thought I’d try.”
“Okay. Are you sure?”
I nodded. “Yes. Thank you for even considering it.”
“Well, I love you and that boy,” Kimber said, pulling me into a flour-filled hug.
“I love you, too, and I’m so glad to be working here.”
“You’re a godsend, honestly. We should probably send you to school to learn to be a pastry chef; you’re so brilliant.”
I blushed. “Do you think I need more schooling?”
“Need? That’s relative. I think you’re smart enough to do it.”
“Thank you, Kimber.”
I smiled all the way back up to the front and for the rest of the day as I considered culinary school for the first time. My best friend was starting medical school. My other best friend/nanny was working on her dream to become a pharmacist. Why shouldn’t I try to become a pastry chef?
It was a thought. One I would have after I figured out how I was going to get away this weekend.
I was pretty sure that bringing Jason along just…wasn’t exactly an option. Not for the kind of weekend I wanted to have with David.
I mulled over it on my way home, and I was parked at a red light, fixing my hair in the rearview mirror, when an idea hit me over the head.
“Well, shit,” I grumbled as I realized what I had to do.
I heaved a sigh and then carefully drove the exact speed limit the rest of the way home. I wanted to speed, but that damn speeding ticket was still irritating me. As soon as I showed up, Jen disappeared to study, and once she was gone, I bundled Jason back into the car.
“Where are we going, Mommy?” Jason asked from his car seat in the back.
“We’re going to visit Grandma and Grandpa. Are you excited?”
“Yay!” he cheered.
His favorite Disney songs played through the radio on the way out of Lubbock and into the boonies. Maverick’s parents, Linda and Ray, lived on a farm about twenty minutes outside of town. I’d found it endearing when we were together, but it also was never a possibility that I was going to live that life.
In some respects, I was more like David than I ever knew. I was as much a Wright through and through as he was a Van Pelt. Even if he was adopted, it was still who he was…just like it was who I was.
Maverick had been that beacon of goodness that I loved for so long. That one person who hadn’t just seen Wright when he looked at me. But he also hadn’t understood the pressure either. He hadn’t gotten that I had my own difficulties with being who I was.
And it wasn’t until I was driving back onto that damn farm that I realized…I needed that, too. It was refreshing that David and I shared that. We shared something that Maverick and I never had, which was a relief. Not a comparison, just a different person, and I liked that. That feeling of new.
My tires rumbled over the gravel road that led to the charming red brick house. It had been built on a cotton farm as far as the eye could see. Maverick had loved this place. It made me feel guilty that I didn’t bring Jason more often. But I was doing it now, and that was all that mattered. Even if I had ulterior motives.
I helped Jason out of the car seat, grabbed his bag, and followed him up to the front door. I knocked once, but the front door swung open at the slightest touch.
“Jason!” Linda cried. She bent down and scooped him up into her arms. “What a pleasant surprise. How are you?”
“Good, Grandma.”
“Come in, come in.” She gestured for me to follow. “So good to see you, Sutton. It’s never often enough. I’m so glad that you brought him by.”
“Grandpa!” Jason said and then rushed for his grandpa.
Ray wrapped his arms around Jason.
“Trucks?”
“Yes, of course! Let’s go out back and look at the trucks. If you’re lucky, I might even put you up in the tractor.”
“Be careful!” I warned.
Ray waved his hand at me. “We’ll be fine. Get a drink and relax.”
I laughed at his easy demeanor and followed Linda into the living room.
“Sweet tea?”
“Please.”
She returned a minute later with two glasses of sweet tea and some snickerdoodle cookies on a tray. She placed it on the coffee table.
“We are so happy to have you and Jason here with us. What’s the occasion?”
“I thought you’d want to see your grandson.”
Linda reached out and clasped my hand. “We’re happy to see you, too. You’re like a daughter to us.”
I smiled warmly, basking in the glow of affection. Sometimes, I forgot what it was like to have parental figures in my life. I hadn’t really grown up with them other than Jensen, and despite everything he’d done, he was still just my brother.
“Thank you. I was also wondering if you could keep Jason for the weekend. I know that he’d love to spend a weekend with y’all.”
“Trying to get some time to yourself?”
I took a deep breath and went for it. “I have plans to go out of town, and I’ll be back on Sunday, if that would be all right.”
“Where are you going?”
“New York,” I confessed.
“Oh! Quite some way. I’ve never been to New York. Why aren’t you taking Jason? I bet he’d love the skyscrapers.”
“I think he would love it but likely not remember it. I’m going to take him when he’s older.”
“Who are you taking instead?”
She was fishing, and I knew that I had to tell her.
Here goes nothing.
“David.”
“Ah, the infamous David. Do you think it’s a wise decision to travel with him so soon?”
“Please, don’t do this.”
“Do what? Worry for you?”
“I still love Maverick. But I need this, okay? I don’t want us to be at odds about this. David is a part of my life, and I’ve made my decision to give us a chance.”
“How does Jason feel about this?” she asked, reaching for her sweet tea.
“Linda, please, I take Jason into consideration, but even if he had a thought about my love life, I would not let him make my decisions for me. He’s two. He’s a happy, growing boy. I don’t bring David around him, except at events, and we’re careful not to show affection. I put him first in everything, but I can’t dictate my love life based on him, okay?”
Linda held up her hand. “I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad. I was just asking.”
“You’re never just asking.”
Linda grinned. “I worry. I don’t have a son to worry over, so I do it for you and Jason now. If you’re happy and Jason is happy, that’s what matters.”
I released a breath. “Thank you. It means a lot to hear you say that.”
“Just be careful, okay? With your heart and your son’s heart. I couldn’t bear to see either of them broken again.”
“Thank you.”
“Anytime you need us to watch Jason, just give us a holler. We’re more than happy to have him.” Linda rose to her feet. “Now, let’s go outside and see my grandson drive a tractor fourteen years before he gets a license.”
I laughed but followed her outside. I’d thought this was going to be harder. Last time I’d talked to them about David, Linda had completely freaked out on me. I’d worried it would be like that again. But I hadn’t let her prey on my insecurities. I felt stronger. It was a relief, and I felt lucky to have them in my life.