The doctor discharged me ten minutes after Sutton left.
But, oddly enough, I didn’t feel any better.
I felt like my heart had been run over a cheese grater.
And the worst part was that I understood where she was coming from. I knew exactly where she was in her grieving journey. I’d known from the start that it might be too soon for her, and still, I’d thought it would be okay. So, now, when it was blowing up in my face, it all made perfect sense.
I was causing her more heartache than happiness, which was the opposite of what I always wanted for Sutton.
Morgan was waiting when I got out of the room. Sutton had taken Jason and was gone.
“Will you take me home?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she muttered. It was clear that her heart was in her throat, and that was something for Morgan.
“Don’t know how I’ll make it into work tomorrow.”
“You can have the day off.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“You got into a major car accident…and your girlfriend broke up with you. I think that’s an okay idea.”
“Let me rephrase; I don’t want to stay home.”
She sighed. “Okay.”
Morgan drove me home in silence. All I wanted was to crawl into bed and pass out, but the doctor had said that I needed to make sure I was careful with my concussion. Morgan followed me inside and promised to watch over me. I wanted to be alone, but there was no talking to Morgan about any of this. Luckily, after she badgered her way into my house, she didn’t ask any more questions or talk about Sutton. She just let me stew.
When pain meds finally kicked in, I was more than grateful. The physical pain subsided, but the emotional toll never let my brain up. By the time my mind finally gave in to the exhaustion, sunlight was streaming into the house.
Morgan was still downstairs when I finally came to. “Do you know how hard it was to wake you up in the middle of the night?”
“You woke me up in the middle of the night?”
“Don’t remember? Yeah, I followed doctor’s orders and made sure you didn’t have serious head trauma. But you seem okay.”
She yawned. She must have slept like shit if she’d waken me up multiple time at night. “I’m going to head home and change. See you in the office.”
I nodded. “See you there.”
I felt clearer than I had in a long time. A perfect dark clarity.
I dressed for work, gritting my teeth as I slid into a suit. I still looked like shit from the accident. But my car looked worse. That college student was going to be in a hell of a lot of trouble for running into my car. I feared for the wrath of his parents when their insurance went through the roof. Maybe I’d be nice and save them the trouble.
My rental car had shown up sometime in my delirious state between being passed out and waking up in a haze of pain meds. It was a sad-looking champagne-colored Lexus, but it would do the trick.
I drove into work and went straight up to my office. It was empty, and I wasn’t used to coming here from home rather than the gym. My whole routine was messed up. But it wasn’t like it mattered.
Sutton was gone.
I had been running from my past as much as she had. Running for a lot longer than Sutton, too. I’d put my family name and my family behind me. Even after I knew that the Calloways were worse people than the Van Pelts. Even after I left for Lubbock. I still hadn’t gone back. So, if anything, Sutton had opened that back up for me. And it was time to stop running.
“You look like shit,” Morgan said with an arched eyebrow when she entered the office an hour later. She, however, looked perfectly put together.
“I feel like shit,” I admitted.
“Well, a truck ran your little sports car over. It seems reasonable that you wouldn’t feel too well.”
“Agreed.”
“I feel like I’m going cross-eyed, trying to catch up on everything so that I can be present for Emery’s wedding on Saturday. I cannot believe that it’s already here.”
“I’m not going.”
Morgan sighed. She dropped her bag down and sank into the chair in front of his desk. “Sutton is going to come around to this, you know?”
“I find that highly doubtful.”
“She lost her husband. You being in that car accident just triggered every one of her fight-or-flight responses. Freaked her the fuck out, and all she did was react. She is going to be okay.”
“She is. Just…not with me.”
“I don’t believe that. I haven’t seen Sutton this happy since Maverick died.”
“Happiness doesn’t seem to be enough. She has to figure out how to put herself back together without me. I’d like to help her, but I know from personal experience that I can’t.”
“You already have,” Morgan insisted. “You just can’t see it right now. She can’t see it. But she will.”
“That’s cheap talk.”
“You’re not even going to fight for her?”
I launched out of my chair, my back and neck screaming in protest. “Fight for her? That’s all I’ve been doing since day one, Morgan. I have been there every step of the way, as caring and understanding as I could be. I love her. I want what’s best for her. But I can’t fight for someone who won’t let me fight for them.”
Morgan lowered her hand, as if to tell me to sit again, but I blew her off.
“I can’t do any more than I already have. I’m hurting her more than I’m helping her. And I’m not going to stand by and continue to do that.”
“David—”
“I’m resigning.”
Now, it was Morgan’s turn to jump up from her seat. “No, absolutely not.”
“It’s a small town. I’m going to see her around. I work for her family. I work for you. It’d be easier if I just left.”
“You can’t quit. I forbid it.”
“You don’t have that kind of control.”
“I’m telling you that you cannot do this. Go talk to her. Convince her otherwise.”
“It would only make it worse.”
“Take the week off. Go blow off some steam and think about this. I can’t accept your resignation.”
“It’s too late.” I glanced down at my watch. “This morning after you left, I booked a plane ticket to New York for after lunch. I’m going back home.”
Morgan ran a hand down her face. “Okay. You know what? Go home. Go back to New York. Think about what it would be like to live in that city again. To live by your family again. I think that’ll be enough to bring you back.”
“I wouldn’t count on it, Morgan.” I turned to leave but glanced back at Morgan once. “You’re a good friend and a great boss. And I’m sorry it all had to end this way.”
“This is not the end.”
And she said it with such conviction that I almost believed her.