This had to be a mirage.
It couldn’t be real.
Sutton couldn’t actually be here.
I’d figured that Morgan would tell her what I was doing, but I’d never imagined that she’d actually show up. And, as much as I wanted to jump with joy, I was guarded. She was suffering. She was grieving. But I had caused it, and I didn’t want to get my hopes up that a miracle could somehow happen.
She smiled shyly at me, a blush tinting her cheeks. She looked beautiful. Ridiculously beautiful. She must have come straight from work because she was still in her pink Death by Chocolate apron. She had flour in her hair, which was pulled up into a messy bun. She looked frazzled with dark circles under her eyes, which she hadn’t even bothered to try to cover with makeup. She must not have been sleeping. I could relate to that.
I blinked at her twice in confusion, sighed, and then stepped out of line. I walked over to where she was standing. “Sutton, what are you doing here?”
She held up a ticket.
“You bought a plane ticket to New York?” I asked in confusion.
“Yes, well, I had to get through security.” She dropped the ticket back into her purse. “You can’t go back, David.”
“There’s not really a reason for me to stay.”
“I’m here,” she whispered.
“You made it pretty clear that we weren’t together.”
“I know. I’m not all right. I’m a big mess. I’ve been through a lot, and it sucks to deal with me right now. But I don’t want you to go.”
“Sutton…honestly, it’s too late.”
“Please…”
“You broke up with me. You said that we couldn’t be together. That you needed to work on fixing the broken pieces of yourself. I don’t think I can help you do that.”
“You can’t.”
I raised my eyebrows in surprise. Well, that wasn’t the answer I’d been expecting.
“Only I can fix those pieces, but what I realized is that…I was so busy looking at a possible future of suffering that I couldn’t see everything else around me. That my own world wasn’t just this grief. I was so into you that I scared myself.”
“I have always put you first. And I know you won’t believe me right now, but leaving is the right choice. It’s good for you.”
“How could you leaving be good for me?” she demanded.
“Because, as happy as we were, you were twice as miserable. It was like a roller coaster with way more lows than highs.”
“That is not true.”
“Think about it, and you’ll see that it is. I’m leaving for you. I want you to be happy. And all I cause you is heartache.”
“No, you’re the only thing that makes me happy anymore.”
I wished she hadn’t said it. Because it was so blatantly false. I’d tried to make her happy. But truth be told, she needed to find happiness with herself again before she could accept it from me or anyone else.
I leaned down and kissed her on the forehead.
“Please,” she murmured. “We can make this right.”
“This is good-bye.”
“No. No, this isn’t what’s supposed to happen. This is supposed to make it right.”
Tears fell down her face, and I gently brushed them from her cheeks.
“I wish I could make this right,” I told her.
I really did.
But it was out of my control.
And her running down to the airport wasn’t going to change my mind.
“I love you,” she whispered.
“Sutton—”
“Don’t get on the plane.”
“I have to.”
“You don’t. If you get on that plane, you are going to look back on this moment and know that you were wrong.”
“No more tears, Sutton.” I shouldered my messenger bag. “This was what you wanted after all.”
Anguish crossed her face, but the flicker in her eyes said that it was true. She was the one who had pushed me away. Running up here was too little, too late. I wanted this to magically fix everything, but it wouldn’t. We’d just be kidding ourselves if we believed it could.
I hoped I was wrong, but I didn’t think I was.
That was why I turned and walked back to the plane.
“David,” she gasped.
I closed my eyes against the pain and then handed my boarding pass to the stewardess. She looked between me and Sutton and then put it under the light. It dinged.
“You’re all good, sir. Welcome aboard,” she said with a touch of sadness.
“Thank you.”
I steeled my resolve and walked forward onto the plane. I forced myself not to look back. She could have followed me. She had a plane ticket. But I took my seat in first class, and she never boarded.
As the plane pulled away from the gate, my eyes instinctively looked out the window, back to the terminal. Sutton was still standing there with her face up against the window, still hoping for one last look at me. I knew she couldn’t see me, but I could see her. And, as much as I knew I had made the best decision, it felt like torture, wondering.
Was it the right move?