Sing for joy in the LORD, O you righteous ones; praise is becoming to the upright. Give thanks to the LORD with the lyre; sing praises to Him with a harp of ten strings. Sing to Him a new song; play skillfully with a shout of joy.
Psalm 33:1-3
Casey Sheridan rubbed her damp palms down the front of her slacks as the plane taxied to the gate. The ride had been bumpy, but her case of nerves had nothing to do with the ride or landing. However, it felt good to disembark, and Casey walked into the terminal with a determined stride.
Her hesitancy returned when she was met by a sea of unfamiliar faces. She had no idea who was supposed to meet her and wished all of a sudden she had asked about that.
The group began to clear, and still Casey stood alone. She had checked her one piece of luggage and wondered if she should go and collect the bag or stay where she was. As it was she had no time to decide; a familiar face was headed toward her at a breakneck speed.
“Dan!” Casey’s voice showed her relief, and she was grabbed in a bear hug that nearly lifted her off the floor. “What are you doing here? I was sure you’d be with Janelle.”
“She refused to leave unless I stayed to see you safely to the church. I only just put her on the plane a few hours ago.” His voice was breathless as he spoke, and he was obviously very excited. “Come here and sit down; I’ll tell you everything.”
Making themselves as comfortable as the airport seating would allow, Dan began. “First of all, what did Janelle tell you on the phone?”
“She said she was pregnant and that the doctor ordered complete bed rest. She had to quit the tour, and would I come and fill in for the last six weeks. Are you sure she’s all right? I couldn’t tell on the phone if she was telling me everything.”
“She wasn’t telling all,” Dan said with a shake of his head. “A week ago she fainted, and we blamed it on fatigue from our rough tour schedule, but when she fainted again, I rushed her to the hospital. A pregnancy test came out positive, and after the doctor got her dates, he decided she is about three weeks along. She’s also severely anemic.
“The doctor kept her in the hospital a few days, and that gave her mom time to get down here. Like I said, they only got away a few hours ago. I’m booked on a flight that leaves tonight after I see you out to the tour.”
They sat in silence for a moment before Casey spoke. “Janelle told me she had given up on ever getting pregnant. Now that she actually is, does the doctor think she’ll go full term?”
“It’s too soon to tell, but the bed rest will help, and she’s not spotting or feeling any pain.” Dan stopped for a minute and looked intently at Casey. “We want this baby, Casey; we want him so much. I think for the first time I have an inkling of what you have been through.”
Casey reached for Dan’s hand and squeezed it gently. “I’ll pray, Dan. Whatever God has for you will be perfect. Right now you might believe you can’t be happy without that baby, but our God is wholly sovereign. Ask Him to help you see that His will is perfect.”
The next half hour was spent in retrieving Casey’s luggage and then getting to the car. Once on the road, Dan gave Casey a light sketch of what her job was to be.
It started out sounding relatively simple. Janelle played piano for her brothers, the Riley Brothers, a trio specializing in contemporary Christian music, presently touring the southern part of the United States. They had been on the road since May and were near the end of the tour now.
Of the six weeks left in the tour, the first two would be spent doing nightly concerts, for which Casey would be playing the piano in Janelle’s stead. The following three weeks would be spent at a summer Bible camp in the mountains. The last week was reserved for a few days of vacation and getting the bus home to northern California.
Casey was needed to play for the group during the evening meetings at camp but would have her weekends free. Janelle and the three men of the Riley trio were also scheduled to be camp counselors. Again, Casey would be expected to take Janelle’s place. Casey had listened in silence up to this point, but her eyes widened at this bit of news. She turned her head and stared at Dan in something akin to panic.
“Now, don’t get excited, Casey,” he reassured her when he glanced over and saw her look. “You’ll do just fine. The first week is fifth-and sixth-grade girls, the second is seventh and eighth, and the final week is high school, freshman and up. I think you’ll love it.”
Casey continued to stare wordlessly at him until he began to squirm. “Well, I mean, I hope you’ll like it. You get along well with everyone, and I’m sure the girls will look to you for spiritual guidance, and, you know, look up to you as a woman.” Dan stumbled to a halt as Casey continued to stare at him.
“Why do I get the feeling I’m in for six weeks I will never forget? If I hadn’t seen the sincerity in your face, I would say Janelle staged this whole thing to get me out more.”
Casey was again staring at the man behind the wheel, but Dan was saved from replying as he pulled off the freeway and into busy downtown traffic. Within minutes he was parking the car in a large church parking lot. A huge silver touring bus was parked across many spaces, and Casey felt nervous at having to meet all the people that bus would surely hold.
She began to muse, not for the first time, at how strange it was that even though the Riley family had been to visit Janelle, Casey had never met them. She and Janelle lived in the same town and were close friends, but each time the Rileys were in town, Casey had been away.
Casey and Janelle’s mutual love for music caused them to hit it off on their first meeting. It wasn’t long before Casey was sharing with Janelle things that she shared with few people. Janelle’s husband, Dan Green, turned out to be as precious as his dear wife, and the three of them enjoyed each other’s company immensely.
“Who is taking your job as manager, Dan?” Casey asked as they crossed the lot toward the building.
“Brad.” Brad was the oldest of the trio, and Casey knew him only by name. “His wife, Chris, is along, and between the two of them, they’ll manage with only two more weeks of actual road tour.”
The inside of the church was cool and spacious, and as they walked through the foyer, Casey’s head turned in all directions, taking in the visitor’s table, bulletin board, and other things familiar to most church lobbies. Before she knew it, they were at the sanctuary doors. Casey wasn’t sure she was ready but followed Dan inside.
The introductions were awkward, and the musically talented family she was meeting was little help. Brad and Chris came forward and shook her hand, and Casey appreciated the gesture even if their smiles were a bit sad, but Casey met Hunter from his place at the piano. He stood but did not come forward to shake her hand. Morgan, the youngest member of the group, was even less cordial. He did not stand or move out of his seat but nodded slightly as they were introduced.
Casey’s mind scrambled around for everything Janelle had ever told her about her brothers. She knew that Brad and Chris had children but that Hunter was a widower. Morgan was not married, but she thought he might be engaged.
Casey’s mind was still moving when Stan, Brice, Rich, and Terry were also introduced. Casey was to learn later that they were in charge of the bus as well as all sound and operating equipment.
Walking Dan back out to his car, Casey felt like a child being left alone for her first day of kindergarten. She tried to hide her misgivings behind a bright smile, but he was not fooled.
“Listen, Casey, most people think the people in Christian singing groups are all saints. But in truth these men are hurting right now. It doesn’t really have anything to do with you; it’s just that they’ve never toured without Janelle, and they don’t think anyone can play like she can.” Dan chuckled before he continued. “They didn’t believe her when she said you played better than she did.”
“She told them that?” Casey nearly groaned.
It was Dan’s turn to stare. He shook his head slowly as he spoke. “You really don’t realize the depth of your musical ability, do you? I love my wife, and I think she plays beautifully, but Casey, I’ve never heard anyone play a piano like you do.”
Casey could only stare at him before looking away in confusion. Playing the piano was no effort for her, and she was more than a little guilty of taking her talent for granted.
“You’d better go, Dan,” Casey said, breaking the silence. “Please give Janelle my love and tell her I’ll do my best.”
Thinking about the people inside, Casey stood for a time after Dan drove away. Please, Lord, comfort them at this time. Help them to accept Your will in this. Please give me the right attitude and words if needed. And most of all, Lord, help me to glorify You with this talent I take for granted.
“What did you think of her?” The question came from Brad as he faced his brothers, his wife, Chris, by his side.
“It’s not whether or not we like her, Brad; it’s just hard to go on without Janelle. And we really don’t know if she can play. I feel a little funny about that,” Morgan said quietly, and for a time everyone was silent.
Hunter broke into the quiet. “I’m sure Jan would never send us anyone who couldn’t do the job, but like Morgan said, it seems strange not to have Jan here. Dan said he’d call as soon as he got home, but I’d give anything to be there myself.”
Conversation came to an awkward halt as the group watched Casey come back into the room. She was completely unaware that the uncertainty she was feeling was clearly written on her face.
Sixty minutes later Casey had changed into a comfortable pair of baggy shorts and a cotton top. She’d noticed on the first introduction that everyone was dressed casually, and with the temperature in the 90’s, Casey welcomed the change.
At Chris’ suggestion, Casey had stowed her belongings in the bus. Chris had been wonderful, showing her around the bus and talking to her like an old friend. The men had some errands to run, so the two women had lunched together in the bus. Most of the conversation during the meal was taken up with talk about Chris and Brad’s two girls. They hadn’t seen them in weeks and couldn’t wait to arrive at camp where they planned to meet.
“My parents are bringing them up,” Chris explained. “We talk on the phone every few days, but it’s not the same.”
“Tell me how old they are again.” Casey asked with genuine interest.
“Kim is 13, and Linda is 10.”
“And they’re with their grandparents?”
“Right. My folks come and live at our house when we tour, so the kids have the security of being home. I flew home almost a month ago to see them, but we won’t be with them again until they come to camp.” Chris’ eyes were suspiciously wet, and Casey smiled in understanding.
From that point the conversation moved to topics far and wide, and Casey found herself relieved that Chris had not pressed her to share about her own family. The men arrived back just 20 minutes later, and it was time for Casey’s first practice session.
“Janelle told me that you’re familiar with our music,” Brad said to Casey from his place across the piano.
“Dan gave me a portfolio of everything,” she told him as she took a seat before the keys. “I’ve looked over anything that was new to me.”
“Great. Let’s start with Over Yonder.”
Morgan and Hunter straightened from where they had been relaxing against the piano and moved into position on either side of Brad.
Casey did not need the music for that piece, and with casual ease she played the rather lengthy introduction. Just several notes after the introduction, however, she stopped. The men had not joined her on their note, and since all three faces, sporting expressions she couldn’t interpret, were turned to her, she assumed she’d made a mistake.
“Too slow?” Casey guessed.
“No,” Hunter said softly after a moment. “It wasn’t too slow. Please play it again, and this time we’ll come in.”
Casey’s fingers went back to the keys, and just as Hunter said, their voices rang out clear and pure. It was a beautiful number, and Casey loved being this close to them as they sang. She’d heard their records and tapes but never heard them live. She found herself swept away by the blend of praise to God in perfect harmony.
Speaking the first spontaneous words since she arrived, she exclaimed, “That was wonderful,” a huge smile lighting her face.
“Yes, it was,” Morgan agreed, finally smiling. “Janelle told us you played well, but we had no idea.”
“That wasn’t what I meant—” Casey began, only to be cut off by Hunter.
“I don’t suppose it was, but Morgan is right. Play something else, Casey.” Hunter’s smooth bass voice made her feel as if something had just rocketed up her spine. Casey’s eyes went to the keys, confusion filling her as she pondered her reaction to Hunter. She could feel her face warming slightly, but the men must not have noticed; when she played Sweet By and By they joined in with the ease of breathing. From there they moved to two other songs that were new to her, but Casey never missed a beat.
Seeing that Casey would need no further work, Brad cut the practice session in half, telling her that she was free until warmup in a few hours. As she rose from the piano bench, Chris approached and handed her a schedule for the next two weeks.
She took a moment to look it over and would have asked questions, but Chris obviously had other things on her mind, since she darted off without another word. Standing near Casey, Hunter watched her but did not speak. Casey didn’t think she should direct any of her questions to him, so she felt more uncomfortable than ever.
She glanced at him and then back at her schedule before casting her eyes over the auditorium that held more than 3000 seats. As she looked out over the floor and balcony, Hunter’s presence was forgotten.
Those seats would be full of Riley Brothers fans tonight, and she, Casey Sheridan, music teacher at Thompson Jr. High School, would have to play the piano as they listened.
“Don’t think about it.” Hunter’s voice came softly to her ears, and Casey started. She could only stare at him.
“You won’t be able to see past the first rows, at least not for the first few numbers. By the time the house lights go up, you’ll know you’re going to be fine.”
“How can you be so sure?” Casey asked as she pushed one damp palm into the pocket of her shorts.
Hunter’s brows rose as though he found Casey’s question insulting. “I’ve just heard you play” was all he said before moving on his way.
The evening’s performance was upon Casey before she had time to be nervous. With only one mistake and one surprise, it was a wonderful night, one that Casey would never forget.
The men had all been ready to launch into Sweet Jesus, but Casey had played “Homeward Bound.” The audience was ignorant of any error, but after the number, Casey saw on her music schedule that she’d blundered.
The surprise that came a few numbers later was of a different nature. While still backstage, Brad had told her to keep playing no matter what. Casey thought this a bit risky but did as she was asked. She learned the reason when she started At the Feet of Jesus. The men never came in. She soloed the entire piece, the trio turning on the stage to watch her. She received a wonderful ovation for her effort.
The men had been quite pleased with themselves, and the entire crew had all shared a good laugh while having coffee in the bus later that night. Casey fell into bed sometime after midnight, her heart ready to praise God for this special day, but she fell asleep before she could shape any of her thoughts.
Big Pines Christian Campground was one of the most beautiful places Casey had ever seen. The ground was a carpet of pine needles, and the air was so clean and crisp that she could have stood in one spot for an hour, simply drinking in the beauty and fragrance. Everyone in the group, all longtime visitors to this camp, enjoyed her reaction. Well, almost everyone. Hunter was still keeping his distance.
For two weeks now they’d lived and worked in close proximity, and Casey had grown close to everyone but Hunter. While never unkind, he was neither warm nor approachable. The others had talked of their families, their hopes, dreams, and prayer requests, but Hunter usually remained silent.
Casey knew he wasn’t quiet with everyone. She had noticed that when it was just family, he laughed and talked comfortably with Brad, Chris, and Morgan. When the group met, however, even if Casey was the only nonfamily member, he said little if anything.
He did, however, do much observing. Casey had grown proficient at not paying him excessive attention, quite an accomplishment since she was becoming very aware of him. Maybe this was the reason she would often glance up and find him studying her.
She never let her eyes linger on his, but she asked herself repeatedly why he didn’t approach her if he found her so interesting. Casey did a mental shrug. She was honest enough to admit to herself that she would have welcomed a little attention from Hunter, but she figured it wasn’t part of the Lord’s plan or it would have happened already.
“Casey,” Morgan broke into her musings. “If you’ll gather your gear, I’ll show you to your cabin.”
“Oh, sure. Is it far?”
“Not bad. Your cabin is tucked back into the trees, but it’s close to the women’s shower room. Your seven fifth graders do not arrive until Sunday, so take advantage of the peace and quiet.”
“I have all fifth graders—no one older?”
Morgan smiled at her disbelieving tone. “It won’t be so bad. At least you’re not getting what I’m getting.”
“What’s that?”
“Fifth-grade boys.”
Casey laughed at the look of mock horror on his face and went into the bus to retrieve her things.
A heartfelt sigh escaped Casey when she woke from her nap. She had used the dresser next to the one double bed in the cabin to put away her things and then spread out the sleeping bag Morgan had said was hers for the next three weeks. When she was finished, the bed looked so inviting that Casey stretched out and fell almost immediately to sleep. Now she was awake enough to see the dial on her watch and was surprised to see that she’d slept for more than two hours.
Casey swung her feet to the floor with two purposes in mind—heading into the small bathroom in the cabin and then eating. Lunch had been so long ago that she felt hollow inside.
Fifteen minutes later she walked through the trees, her nose leading her in the direction of food. Someone was cooking over a grill, and Casey found herself praying it would be the Rileys. She felt it would be most unfair to smell something this wonderful and not get a taste of it.
“We wondered when you would join us,” Morgan called to her as soon as she came into view.
The entire group was there plus a few people Casey didn’t know. She walked with unconscious grace, her long legs encased in blue jeans and a white cotton blouse tucked in at the waist. The wind teased her shoulder-length blonde hair around her lovely, tanned face.
“Casey,” Brad began, “come and meet the camp directors, Marcus and Lizzy Peterson.”
“It’s good to meet you, Casey,” Lizzy offered with a smile after they’d shaken hands.
“Your camp is wonderful.”
“We rather like it,” Marcus told her with a grin. “How is your cabin?”
“Just great.”
They talked for several more moments, both of the Petersons working to make her feel very welcome. She was told that the other counselors, as well as the guest speaker, would be coming the next day, and that the campers would arrive on Sunday sometime after lunch.
Casey was then introduced to Kim and Linda Riley, who had finally arrived with their grandparents. After she met the girls, Chris teased her.
“We’d begun to think we’d lost you,” she commented with a smile, referring to Casey’s nap.
“No,” Morgan put in, a teasing light in his eye. “Hunt checked on you and said you were snoring to beat the band. I’m surprised we didn’t hear you all the way down here.”
Casey smiled but didn’t say anything. She sincerely doubted that Hunter had been anywhere near her cabin, but the thought of his hearing her snore was humiliating. Thankfully, dinner was proclaimed ready, and Casey was able to hide her embarrassment when she chose a plate and got into line.
“You don’t snore.”
The words came so softly to Casey more than two hours later that she thought she’d imagined them. They were, however, all too real. Casey turned from where she had just thrown away her paper plate and cup to find Hunter standing behind her.
“What did you say?”
“I said you don’t snore. You looked upset when Morgan teased you, so I thought I’d reassure you.” His deep voice was serious but kind.
Casey blinked at him. “You actually came and checked on me in my cabin?”
“Uhm hm. We were supposed to have a meeting at three o’clock, and everyone wondered if you were all right.”
Casey’s hand came to her mouth. “I forgot all about that meeting.”
“Come on, everyone!” Brad, still standing over by the fire pit, called to the assembly at large. “We’re ready to light this fire and get down to some serious campfire activities.”
Hunter moved off without another word to Casey. She followed behind him feeling vaguely irritated, at whom she wasn’t sure, but she was angry. He’d come to reassure her, and all he did was make her feel foolish. It had been a long time since Casey had felt any real interest in a man, and when she finally did, he had to be one who was horribly aloof and still wore a wedding ring years after his wife had died.
She was so angry right then that she wondered what she had ever seen in the man. Oh, he was tall and good-looking, and he sang like an angel, but beyond that, she decided he wasn’t worth her time. Her anger began to work like a purge as she walked. Casey suddenly didn’t care if Hunter looked at her or completely ignored her. In a way she felt something of a relief settle over her, but she also knew this wasn’t a right attitude.
As she sat on a log that helped make up a ring around the fire, Casey did some serious praying. If this campfire was like others she’d been a part of, there would be singing and sharing. She couldn’t do either in the mood she was in now. By the time Brad finished telling everyone what a great job they’d done on tour and how much he was looking forward to these weeks at camp, Casey had taken care of things. Just in time too, since Kim said she wanted to sing.
Two hours later the sky was very dark, and the temperature was dropping. They had sung every song they could think of, but now everyone had gone for jackets before meeting back at the fire to make s’mores. Casey was just finishing her second one when the sharing began.
Marcus Peterson shared some riotous stories from the family camps earlier that summer, and then Hunter related something someone at their last concert had told him when they were signing albums and tapes. When he finished his story, a comfortable silence fell on the group. After several moments Brad’s voice broke the quiet, taking Casey completely by surprise.
“I know I didn’t ask you about this earlier, Casey, but I wondered if you might share your testimony with us.”
Casey did not immediately reply.
“I know you feel put on the spot,” he went on, “but we’ve come to love you in these weeks, and hearing how you came to Christ would be really special.”
Casey smiled across the fire at him and Chris, who sat beside him. Chris’ parents had taken the girls off to bed, but she could feel everyone else’s eyes on her face.
“It’s a rather long story.”
“We’ve got time,” several people chorused. So with that Casey began.
“I grew up as an only child in Bakersfield, California, but in the middle of my junior year of high school, we moved north to Sacramento. I wasn’t raised in a Christian home, and I remember giving my parents a pretty hard time about the move. However, it wasn’t as hard at the new school as I thought it would be. I made friends very quickly and even tried out for the varsity cheerleading team for my senior year.
“Well, I made the cheering squad, and during that year I got close to a boy named Nathan.” Casey’s voice had grown very soft, but she was looking at the fire and didn’t notice the intense attention of her audience.
“He was captain of the football team, and I was head of the cheerleading squad. We were homecoming king and queen, and it seemed like the perfect match. However, Nathan was a believer and I was not. His family strongly disapproved, but he rebelled and saw me anyway. They were never hateful to me, but I was a real concern to them. We started dating before Christmas, and I’m sorry to say that by the time we graduated, I was two months pregnant.”
Casey had come to realize now that every eye around the campfire was glued to her, but she continued gently.
“We really did love each other, so we married just a week after school was out. My parents had no problem with it at all. In fact, my father set us up in a small house, one that had been my grandmother’s. I had been unhappy at home for a long time, so I was just glad to escape. It wasn’t much fun for Nathan. He began to grow weary of a sick, crabby wife and the weight of responsibility. He didn’t leave me or even lash out at me. He did something in my opinion that was far worse: He went back to church.
“At first I was so hurt I didn’t know what to think. Then I got angry. Life was pretty miserable for a time, but Nate stuck with me. Although I was still bitter that Nathan believed he needed others besides me, after our daughter, Alison, was born, I simply poured my life into her.
“When I think back on it, I don’t know how Nathan stood it, but he kept working at the marriage, and I finally began to come around. I was not comfortable discussing church or the Bible with him, but when he attended, I no longer became angry. He used to take Alison, and I would feel very alone on those Sunday mornings. Still, my heart was hard toward God.”
Casey paused now, and although she didn’t seem to be fighting for control, she did stare intently into the fire before continuing.
“Alison was 14 months old when our house caught fire one night. We had no smoke alarms, and since Nathan and I were both sound asleep, the house was filled with smoke by the time we woke up. The house was quite small, so Nathan nearly dragged me from the bedroom and pushed me down the stairs toward the front door before running for Alison’s room. Neither of them ever made it outside. They both died of smoke inhalation.”
Here again, Casey took a deep breath. She could hear someone crying, but she didn’t dare look beyond the fire, or she would never finish.
“It was a horrible night, as you can imagine. The families gathered on the lawn, and I eventually went home to my parents’ house and finally fell into an exhausted sleep about midmorning the next day. When I awoke sometime after two o’clock, Nathan’s brother, Neil, was sitting next to my bed.
“I didn’t know it at the time, but Neil had been praying fervently for my salvation. He told me that lately he’d been begging God to save me, no matter what it took. He said, ‘I’ve lost my brother and my niece, but I know where they are. All I care about right now is you, Casey—you and your lost eternity.’
“My heart broke on those words, and I knew for the first time that I was as lost as he’d said. Neil brought out his Bible and read to me how much I needed a Savior, how Jesus Christ was willing to be my Lord. I won’t tell you that I never looked back, because I did, but God has never left my side.
“I think I’d better end by telling you that I’m all right,” Casey said with a small smile as she took in the swimming eyes all around her. “I went back to school and now have a bachelor’s degree in education. I’ve been teaching music at a junior high school for two years. In and of itself, time is a healer, but with Christ the changes are forever. It’s been over nine years since Nathan and Alison died, and as much as I miss them, I honestly don’t believe I would change a day.”
No one spoke. Never dreaming of the depth of her pain or God’s provision, Brad had innocently asked Casey to share. One by one the group stood and came to her. Casey stood also. The family and crew, most of them with tears in their eyes, hugged her and thanked her for sharing. The last one to stand before her was Hunter. He didn’t hug her but looked at her for the space of several seconds.
“When you’re ready to turn in, I’ll walk you back to your cabin.”
“All right,” Casey said after just a moment.
“Thanks, Casey.” It was Brad again. When he’d hugged her earlier, words had failed him; now he came back to speak with her. “That couldn’t have been easy for you—thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Brad. It is a hard story, but I think it’s good for me to talk about it from time to time.”
Overcome with her sincerity, Brad hugged her again. “Chris and I are turning in now. Breakfast is just a walk-through between 8:30 and 9:00. I’ll see you then.”
“Goodnight,” Casey told him and everyone else as they began to disperse. She turned toward her cabin, Hunter falling into step beside her. A flashlight suddenly flicked on from his hand and they walked quietly up the hill to Casey’s cabin.
Casey had not thought to leave any lights on, so she was glad for Hunter’s flashlight. He opened her door for her and flicked on both the inside and outside light. Casey stood looking at him under the yellow bulb, not saying anything but trying to search her heart where this man was concerned.
Having put both lights on, Hunter was ready to turn and speak to Casey. “Did Jan ever mention to you that I’d lost my wife a few years ago?”
“Yes, I knew you were a widower,” Casey said softly.
“I have a tendency to think that no one has ever experienced the depth of pain I have, or that anyone could possibly understand what I’m going through,” Hunter admitted. “When you shared tonight, it was a good reminder to me that we all hurt. My wife has been dead for over two years, and I still feel married. I still feel unfaithful if I’m attracted to a woman. You made yourself vulnerable before all of us tonight so we could see how God works. Thank you, Casey.”
With that he wrapped his arms around her. Casey’s eyes slid shut for the brief moment she returned his embrace. She felt more confused than ever. Was he trying to tell her that he did care for her? Casey simply didn’t know. She had told herself not to give him another thought, but if he opened his arms once again, Casey knew she would be strongly tempted to walk right back into them.
“That’s an interesting look I’m getting,” Hunter commented, and Casey started. She hadn’t been aware of her expression.
“I’m just trying to figure you out, Hunter Riley.” Casey returned, opting for total honesty.
“Am I such a puzzle?”
“Well, now, you tell me. I come into this group, and you’re all a little standoffish at first. Understandable, considering the way Janelle had to leave, but the others have all warmed up. You seem to keep some sort of guard up between us, but at the same time you watch me intently.” Casey’s voice held no rebuke; in fact, she still had a few more gentle words.
“Now you come to me in all sincerity and tell me you still feel married. Am I supposed to believe that you would be interested if you could get beyond your wife’s death?”
It wasn’t a question that needed an answer, and Casey could see Hunter knew that.
“I see what you mean,” he told her after just a moment’s thought.
“Please don’t misunderstand me, Hunter. I really appreciate your honesty, and I’m sure you realize I’m not demanding answers, but I’d be made of stone if I didn’t wonder where I fit in, or if I fit in at all.”
Hunter nodded, a curious light in his eyes. “I’m glad you’re ready to wait for answers, since I don’t have any right now. I’m also glad you told me how you feel.”
“What exactly did I tell you, Hunter?” Casey wondered if they really understood each other.
Hunter tipped his head to the side in a way that Casey found adorable. “I think you said that if I asked you on a date, you’d go.”
Casey smiled. This was the most bizarre conversation she’d ever had.
“I’d better go in and let you be on your way,” Casey said after a moment’s quiet, thinking she was more tired than she realized.
“Was I right?” Hunter asked, not ready to drop the subject.
“I don’t know.” Again Casey was very honest.
“In other words, I’d have to ask you to find out.”
“No, Hunter. My words were not intended as some sort of challenge to you.”
He tipped his head again, and Casey turned her head away. She was certain he had no idea what he did to her heart.
“Goodnight, Casey,” he finally said when Casey didn’t look back at him.
“Goodnight, Hunter,” she echoed and moved inside. She waited until she heard his footsteps moving away from the cabin before turning off the outside light, locking the door, and getting ready for bed.
Since Casey had enjoyed a nap, it would have been understandable had she been the one to lie awake, but this was not the case. Casey slept almost immediately. On the other hand, Hunter lay in the dark of his cabin for hours.
His first wife had been a wonderful person. Gail had been warm and giving, dedicated to Christ and Hunter. But two years was a long time, two and a half to be exact, and Hunter wondered why he still felt so odd when he thought of marrying again.
Maybe it was because he’d never met a woman like Casey Sheridan, one who had endured such pain but still chose to serve God. She was warm and fun and so pretty that Hunter just wanted to stare at her. She was also so gifted at the piano that Hunter could have listened to her play for hours. So why was he holding back?
Morgan thought Hunter was just out of practice and told him so, but when Hunter tried going without his wedding ring, even for a few hours, his hand felt naked.
“Maybe I need to give it more time,” he said softly to himself in the dark. “I’d like to move on. I’d like to love again; I just don’t know if I can. If I had been the one to die, I would have wanted Gail to find someone new to share her life.”
Hunter stopped speaking out loud but continued to bare his heart to the Lord. He asked God to help him move wisely where Casey was concerned, but at the same time he wondered why he didn’t just go ahead and let his guard down with her. He already knew that she was a wonderful person, and without ever having really experienced it, he somehow knew that she would always deal with him compassionately.
Hunter would not have been quite so content with his plan if he’d understood how vulnerable Casey was to his status as a widower or the sensitive way he walked her to the cabin and stayed outside to talk.
“Okay now,” Marcus spoke into the small public address system as the kids were finishing up with breakfast. The fifth- and sixth-grade campers were having the time of their lives, and it took a moment to get their attention.
“This being the last day of camp, I told you we would have some special surprises. If you think the Rileys have performed for you on these other evenings, wait until you hear their last concert tonight.”
Marcus was given no chance to go on, since the room erupted with cheers. He spoke again as they quieted.
“But we’ve got a lot of great things to do before then. Right now it’s time for the staff hunt.” Again the room shook with cheers. “As you finish with breakfast, the counselors will hide. Finding them means points for your team.
“Don’t forget now, some will be in pairs and worth extra points, and of course, the team that finds our speaker, Pastor Chris Bauer, gets 1000 points.” Marcus continued to speak, even though mayhem met this announcement. “Go ahead now, staff, and head outside. Hide well. You know the places that are off limits.”
Casey said goodbye to her adorable crew of girls—one or two even needed to hug her—and made for the door. Brad was there holding it for her, and Morgan was waiting directly outside. She was paired with him for extra points.
“You’re going to hide with Hunt instead of me,” he informed her the minute he saw her.
“I am? Why the change?” Casey didn’t mind; in fact she was pleased, but Morgan had an odd look on his face.
“I’m always paired off, and I want to hide alone.”
Casey’s look was clearly skeptical.
“Go on now,” Morgan commanded, lowering his voice since Hunter was just coming from the dining hall.
“Okay,” Hunter said as he stopped beside Casey, his eyes on a small square of paper in his hand. “I guess you and I are together.”
Casey glanced down at the slip and noticed that the handwriting was different from the original paper she’d seen, the one telling her she was paired with Morgan.
Casey sent a glance toward the youngest Riley, but he only grinned at her. Obviously finding himself very clever, he ran down the steps of the dining room deck.
Casey was tempted to shake her head. Between Morgan and Hunter, she felt as though she’d been going in circles all week.
“We’d better get started,” Hunter broke into her thoughts, and Casey followed him down the steps.
“So where do you think?” he asked.
“The archery range?” Casey suggested.
“No. Brad and Chris always hide there.”
“In back of the kitchen?”
“No.”
“We could climb a tree.”
“Last time I did that I got sap all over my pants.”
Casey came to a stop on the trail.
“What’s the matter?” Hunter looked at her in surprise.
“You must have someplace in mind, Hunter, since all of my suggestions are wrong.” Casey’s stance, hands on her waist, head tilted to one side, told of her exasperation.
Hunter grinned at her in a way that was becoming familiar but was no less appealing. He’d been like a different person since they’d talked, touching her from time to time and making no effort, if ever he had, to keep his eyes from her face. The smiles he gave her were very warm, and twice he’d asked her questions about how she’d coped with certain aspects of Nathan’s death.
“Come on.” He suddenly took her hand and began to run. “I know just the place.”
Two minutes later Hunter was leading them inside the tool shed, more of a lean-to actually.
“Isn’t this off limits?”
“Nope. It would be if it had a door. I was only hoping that Morgan hadn’t beaten us to it.”
Casey fell quiet. It was somewhat shadowy in this small building that smelled of oily rags and grass, and suddenly the atmosphere was rather close. Hunter must have felt it as well, because Casey looked up to find his eyes on her.
“I want to kiss you,” he said in little more than a whisper.
Casey swallowed hard. “I think you’re suddenly feeling things you haven’t felt in a long time, Hunter, and I must admit to you that I’ve enjoyed our getting to know each other. But please,” Casey’s voice was tender, “be a little careful with my heart.”
“Oh, Casey,” Hunter’s voice dropped unbelievably low. “I’m sorry if I’ve been totally insensitive to your feelings.”
“You haven’t,” she said and then added very candidly, “but I’ve been alone for a long time, and I just wanted you to know that I’m not totally immune to you.”
Hunter smiled, and Casey had the impression that her words pleased him no end. Their eyes held until the shouts of children in the distance broke the mood. Casey turned from Hunter and took a seat on an upturned, five-gallon paint bucket. They didn’t talk anymore, but each one was very aware of the other’s presence.
“Thank you, Morgan,” Casey said with a smile as Morgan hefted her basket of laundry from the car they’d borrowed to go into town. It was the weekend between the junior high and high school camps, and Casey and Morgan had just gone to wash clothes.
He’d driven the car as close as possible to the cabin, so it was an easy walk. When they arrived, Casey held the door to her cabin open so Morgan could take the basket inside. With that, Casey commented, “If you didn’t have a girl waiting at home for you, Morgan, I’d marry you myself.”
Morgan grinned like a boy. “You could always marry my brother.”
Casey looked shocked. “What would Chris say?”
“You know very well that I’m not talking about Brad.”
Casey only smiled and shook her head in feigned despair. “You’ve got to stop pushing Hunter and me together.”
“But you would make him a wonderful wife,” he told her seriously.
“Listen to yourself, Morgan. Your brother is a big boy, and I’m no kid myself. We can handle this on our own.”
“I know he cares for you,” Morgan went on as if he hadn’t heard her. “I’m just afraid he’s going to move too slowly and let you get away.”
Casey didn’t respond. She was afraid also but for an entirely different reason. Last weekend, when the fifth- and sixth-grade campers had gone home, she and Hunter had gone for a long walk in the woods. It had been a beautiful day, and they had even packed a lunch and taken a blanket so they could picnic under the trees. The day had seemed perfect: The food, their conversation, and the general spirit of their time together proved wonderful. It seemed even more perfect when Hunter had taken her into his arms and kissed her.
In the days that followed he’d been extremely attentive whenever they were alone and it was appropriate to be so. He’d even asked Casey out on a date for the next Saturday night, the Saturday that was today, but Casey’s fears were not that he was moving too fast. They came from the fact that she could almost feel Gail between them. If Hunter showed up tonight still wearing his wedding band, Casey wasn’t sure what she would do.
He’d held her hand numerous times, put his arm around her, and kissed her in the woods. It was becoming obvious that he no longer felt married, but if this was the case, why was he still wearing his wedding ring? Only Hunter knew.
“I think I’ve lost you,” Morgan commented.
Casey smiled. “I have a date with Hunter tonight, Morgan, and I’m looking forward to going, but I mean it when I tell you that you’ve got to let us handle this on our own.”
Morgan sighed. “All right, but if he lets you get away—”
“Even if he does,” Casey cut him off, “it’s still Hunter’s business.”
Morgan stared at her, clearly dissatisfied with the way his hands were tied, but Casey’s serious expression told him he had better let the matter drop.
Hours later, Casey, dressed in the nicest outfit she’d brought on tour, sat across the table from Hunter. They were in Santa Barbara’s finest restaurant, and Hunter was making her feel like she was the most wonderful woman he’d ever met. If this was his attitude, the feelings were more than mutual for Casey. Even the sight of the ring on his hand couldn’t completely dampen the pleasure she felt at being with Hunter Riley.
“How is your entree?” Hunter asked solicitously.
“Wonderful. How about yours?”
“Excellent.”
They ate for a moment in silence, and then Hunter broached a question he hadn’t been able to get off his mind.
“I want to ask you a question, Casey, but I’m afraid the subject might be upsetting to you.”
“I’ll be honest,” she told him.
“It’s about your daughter, Alison.”
Casey smiled. “I appreciate your sensitivity, Hunter, but I never mind talking about her.”
“How old would she be now?”
“About Linda’s age, but in my mind she’ll always be a baby.” Casey smiled with remembrance. “She was such a happy child, so full of life. She was very active. Some days I fell into bed exhausted, but we didn’t clash wills very often. She was very obedient most of the time. I think Alison would have been a people-pleaser.
“After the fire I thought I might be expecting again. I really struggled with God’s will when I wasn’t. I felt it would have been so right to have Nathan’s child and Alison’s little brother or sister, but I no longer feel that way. God’s perfect plan is to have two parents. I know that many men and women do it on their own, but I’m thankful now that I’m not trying to raise a child by myself.”
“I know it’s a lot of work,” Hunter told her. “My mother raised the four of us by herself.”
Casey nodded. Janelle had told her, but she remained quiet.
“My father died when Morgan was four. My mother didn’t remarry until just a few years ago, and of course by then we were all grown and out of the house.”
“She must be a wonderful woman.”
“I think so,” Hunter told her honestly. “I’d like you to meet her sometime.”
Casey had taken a bite of food and did not reply. She really didn’t enjoy the mystery of a situation like this. She found herself fighting the impulse to read things into Hunter’s comments, such as the one about meeting his mother. A double meaning had definitely come to mind. Had he meant more than just a casual statement? Once again, only Hunter knew.
“Hunter?” Casey called his name and waited until he looked at her. “How did your wife die?”
“Cancer. If I had known then what I know now, she would probably still be alive, but we took the doctor’s word about waiting, and by the time the signs were really evident, it was all through her.”
“You sound as though you have regrets.”
“Not exactly. I know God’s will is perfect, and we did our best, but sometimes it’s hard to handle ‘human error.’ Do you know what I mean?”
“I think I do.”
The meal ended in a companionable way, but as they drove back to camp, Casey felt a mix of emotions. It seemed they had so little time to get to know each other, and Casey honestly wanted to know this man. Some of her emotions must have shown on her face because Hunter said goodnight in a very quiet way and did not walk her all the way to her cabin. Casey had the impression that he wanted to but was thankful he held off.
She went to bed that night hoping that at the end of high school camp, when the family took a well-earned week of vacation, she and Hunter would finally have some quality time. However, this was not to be. Halfway through the week, Brad announced that the family had taken a vote. They were all so tired of being on the road that, to a person, they had elected to head straight home.
As much as Casey dreaded leaving this family, she smiled at the sight of her car. There had been communication with the family at home, and Dan Green had seen to it that Casey’s car was waiting for her in the designated spot.
Every one of the Rileys, save for Janelle and Dan, lived in Stockton. Dan, along with a friend, had left Casey’s car in the church parking lot in Stockton so that Casey could drive home to Sacramento whenever the tour bus arrived. Her gear was unloaded rather solemnly, but when she and Chris finally stood together, they both grinned like children.
“It’s been fun,” Casey said.
“It has indeed,” Chris agreed.
They hugged, and everyone gathered then to say goodbye and thank her for everything. Casey was equally grateful to them for the wonderful weeks they’d shared with her.
They didn’t, however, linger overly long. They were all within minutes of home, but Casey had some miles to go. They let her go after just a few moments, with a promise from Morgan that she would get an invitation to the wedding and more promises from the others to visit when they came to see Dan and Janelle.
Casey picked up her small case, and no one moved to help or follow when Hunter threw Casey’s bag over his shoulder and walked her to her car. Casey didn’t look at Hunter as she opened the trunk to stow her gear or when she opened the driver’s door, started the car without getting in, and put the air conditioning on full blast.
She let the door close softly and stepped slightly away from the hot metal of the door. The move put her almost directly in front of Hunter. He was literally on the verge of opening his mouth to tell her he would call, but Casey suddenly reached for his left hand.
Hunter stared downward, first at Casey’s blonde, shiny head, and then as she fingered his ring. She didn’t look at him or speak but turned the ring gently around his finger, her eyes on the movement. After a minute she looked up and said, “I hope you take care of yourself, Hunter, and if you ever decide to take this ring off, give me a call.”
Hunter was utterly speechless when she dropped his hand.
“Goodbye, Hunter.”
All words deserted him as he watched Casey climb into her car and drive away with a small wave of her hand. He stood still for long minutes and finally lifted his left hand and stared at it as though it belonged to someone else. He thought then as he had many times, he’d never before met a woman like Casey Sheridan.
“How are you feeling?” Casey whispered to Janelle.
“Great.”
“Oh, that’s super.” Casey’s eyes shone. “I have to play for Loni, so I’m going to move down front, but I’ll come over tonight and see you after church. Tell Dan to have popcorn ready.”
“I’ll do it. Are you going to the Hendersons’ for lunch?”
Casey had time only to nod before she needed to move to her seat. She was settled before the announcements were made, and she never missed a beat when it was time to play, but her mind was elsewhere.
It had been six weeks since she’d seen Hunter, and he hadn’t been in contact in any way. Not even when he’d spoken with Janelle did he pass on a word of greeting. Casey was not sorry for what she had said to him, but it was becoming painfully evident that he was not ready to remove that ring.
It was with great effort that Casey managed to pull her mind from Hunter and heed the sermon, but she was very glad that she did, since the pastor spoke on obedience to Christ, no matter what. Casey needed to hear those words right then. She was losing her joy over the whole ordeal with Hunter.
Pastor Meyer reminded them, “All of life’s circumstances must be viewed through Christ, or we are going to spend our lives on an emotional roller coaster. Believing that God cares for us only when all is comfortable in our world makes for a shaky foundation, my friend. God’s Word has to be our base. When it is, nothing, and I mean positively nothing, can cause the ground beneath us to shift.”
It was just what Casey needed to hear. The summer had ended on a low note, and even going back to work had not been as joyful as it had other years. She now saw so plainly that her actions were telling God that He had let her down. Casey prayed right then with her new knowledge. She confessed her absorption with herself and surrendered her life and future to God.
Peace surrounded her for the first time in far too long. She was feeling nearly jubilant when church ended and Corrie Henderson approached her about lunch. Casey taught with Corrie’s mom, Betty, and ate Sunday dinner with them most weeks, but since Corrie was a worrywart, she always checked with Casey.
“Are you coming over, Casey?”
Casey smiled at her and started to answer when she looked over the eight-year-old’s head and spotted Hunter. He was across the near-empty foyer, and Casey couldn’t think or move. She stared at him in something akin to confusion until he very deliberately reached up and scratched his chin with his bare left hand.
“Casey?”
“Oh! Corrie,” she stumbled and thought fast. “You know, something has come up, and I won’t be able to come today. Can you tell your mom?”
“Are you all right?” the little girl wanted to know.
“Yes,” Casey answered with a beaming smile. “I’m just fine. Tell your mom I’ll call her later.”
Corrie was relieved when she saw that smile, and not having noticed Hunter, went off without a care. Casey then approached Hunter quite slowly and stopped.
“Hello.” Hunter’s voice was just as she remembered, deep and soft, and his eyes were just as warm.
“Hello, Hunter.”
An awkward moment passed.
“Is there someplace we can talk?”
“We could go back to my apartment,” Casey suggested.
Hunter nodded, and they moved to the door. Casey knew that the few remaining people watched her exit, but she didn’t meet anyone’s eyes. Once in the parking lot, Hunter followed her to her little yellow car.
“Did you drive?”
“Not to church.”
“Oh, well.” Again she felt at a loss. “Hop in.”
Suddenly Casey couldn’t remember how to drive. She fumbled with the clutch and nearly stalled the car twice before gaining the street. The ride to her apartment was a blur, and as soon as she let herself in the door, she crossed the room from Hunter and stood like a scared rabbit.
“Sit down,” she offered, her voice breathless as she tried to control the pounding of her heart. However, Hunter remained standing. After a moment he said, “Casey, would you rather I hadn’t come?”
“No, Hunter, no! I’m glad you’re here.”
“Then why are you so far away?” His gentle voice was nearly Casey’s undoing, but she spoke with feigned calm.
“Because I think we need to talk before we touch.” Where this had come from Casey couldn’t have said. In reality she wanted to throw her arms around him, but in her heart she knew this was best.
Hunter nodded, thinking that her level head was one of the things he loved about her. He’d have laughed if he could have heard her thoughts.
When Hunter sat, Casey did also. Another small silence passed, but this one wasn’t awkward. Hunter glanced around her apartment and commented on the lovely decor.
“I like it,” Casey admitted. “It’s not very big, but it’s home.”
“I’ve missed you, Casey,” Hunter suddenly interjected.
Casey smiled, feeling more at ease by the moment. “I’ve missed you too. You took rather a long time to contact me.”
Now Hunter smiled. “I’m sorry about that. Almost as soon as I got home I removed the ring, but I’d promised myself that our next meeting would be in person, not by phone or letter. Then life went nuts with tour wrap-up. I couldn’t get away to come to you.”
“But you’re here now.”
“Yes.” Hunter smiled again. “I want to tell you that I’m here so we can get to know each other, and that would be true, but I’ve got to tell you right up front: My feelings for you are serious.”
Casey stared at him for a moment and then looked away. She was silent for so long that Hunter shifted to see her face better and spoke again.
“What are you thinking, Casey?”
She took a big breath and admitted, “I’ve never felt for a man as I feel for you, Hunter, and it scares me.” She turned her head to see him now. “I loved Nathan, but I was so young, and I see now what a selfish type of love it was. Now I’m feeling things I never thought I’d feel. No, that isn’t true,” Casey corrected herself. “I’m feeling things I didn’t even know existed, and it’s all a bit overwhelming.”
Hunter lovingly held her gaze. “Since we’re being totally up-front, I’ll tell you that I’m head-over-heels where you are concerned.”
Casey bit her lip.
“I’m not here to ask for your hand,” he went on, “because you’re not ready for that. But as I said before, my feelings are serious. Since your feelings are rather frightening to you, would you rather I stay, or would it be better if I left now?”
Casey’s heart slowed to normal at that point, and things became very clear.
“I would like you to stay, but I will ask you the same thing I did before: Please be careful with my heart.”
He spoke tenderly before he moved to the other end of the sofa, the one near her chair, and reached for her hand. Casey gave it gladly.
They talked for the next three hours until Hunter calmly announced to Casey that he was starving. With much laughter they raided Casey’s refrigerator. Twenty minutes had passed when Hunter used a napkin to wipe whipped cream from the corner of her mouth. Casey knew in an instant that Hunter had refrained from kissing it off, and this restraint, more than anything he had said or done, told her that something wonderful was happening between them.
“It’s not every brother who would come home early from his honeymoon for his sister,” Hunter teased Janelle as she lay in the hospital bed.
Janelle smiled at him but didn’t apologize. “Did you see her?”
“Yes,” Casey told her. “And she’s beautiful.”
“She’s awfully small, but the doctor says she’s going to be all right.”
“It’s really your fault, Casey,” Dan interjected.
“My fault?” She said with a laugh.
“That’s right. If you had married Hunter on the first weekend he came into town, as I’m sure he wanted,” Dan stressed, “early as she was, you’d have been back long before Deana was born.”
“Can you believe that logic?” Casey asked her husband of eight days.
“Well, now,” Hunter had caught Dan’s teasing eye as he slipped an arm around Casey, “I think he might be right.”
“Hopeless,” Casey commented to Janelle and earned a wonderful smile, but she was teasing as well.
Dan leaned close to his wife just then, and Hunter took advantage of the time to kiss Casey. Casey melted in his arms and for the hundredth time thought about how she’d asked him to care for her heart, and how he’d done just that.
A Note from Lori: When I was a teen, I had the opportunity to attend summer camp in northern California. On two different occasions I met singing groups from a Bible school in Michigan. I remembered the wonder I felt over the way the group sang and the fun they had together. Although “Be Careful With My Heart” does not strictly focus on the camp and singing groups, it was with those fond memories in mind that I wrote this story. By the way, I eventually attended the Bible school in Michigan, and that is where I met, fell in love, and became engaged to my husband, Bob Wick.
