Laney, Having to Choose
“I don’t get why you don’t want me to come,” Drake said as he and Laney jogged side by side around Green Lake on Saturday after her shift at the coffee shop.
“I told you, it’s not that I don’t want you to come, but it’s just girls.” Guys never went along when their fiancées went bridal-gown shopping. She’d watched enough episodes of Say Yes to the Dress to know that. “Even my dad isn’t going.” And if anyone should be there, it was Dad, since he and Mom were paying for it. “Anyway, it’s bad luck to see me in my wedding gown before the wedding.” That was a silly superstition and not very practical for taking pictures, but the drama of waiting until the big moment appealed to Laney.
“My brother saw his wife. They had their pictures taken before the wedding.”
Laney tried another tack. “You’d be bored.”
“Seeing you all dressed up? No way.”
“You’re so sweet.”
Drake always said stuff like that. She was marrying the best guy ever.
“So, come on. Let me go with you.”
Laney grinned over at him. “Uh-uh. You need to be surprised,” she added with a teasing smile.
He shook his head. “I don’t get why you’re looking for a wedding dress anyway. I thought you were gonna wear shorts.”
“I changed my mind.”
Actually, her mother had changed her mind, but Mom was probably right about this. Getting married was major, and she might regret it if she went for casual.
Drake was frowning now. They weren’t going to fight about this, she hoped.
“Come on. Don’t be mad,” she coaxed.
“I’m not mad. I’m just…”
“What?”
“I don’t know.”
Guy-speak for I don’t want to talk about it. “What?” Laney pressed.
“I hate being left out of everything like I don’t matter.”
She stopped running. So did he. A cyclist whizzed past them.
“You do matter,” Laney said. “You should know that. You’re the most important person in my life.”
“Yeah? Then how come I don’t get to be involved in anything? How come you don’t even ask me what I think?” He wiped his sweaty brow and looked away.
Two women jogged past them, laughing about something.
“I haven’t even seen the place where we’re getting married,” he continued.
“I’ve shown you pictures.”
He gave a snort of disgust. “Big deal. I thought we were gonna go up there. You’ve gone up twice without me.”
She moved closer and put a hand on his chest. “Come on, babe. That was to order flowers. What guy is into flowers?”
“And cake. You ordered the cake. I’m into cake.”
“Okay, I’m sorry. I didn’t think it was that important to you.”
“Well, it kinda is. I mean, I’m getting married, too. Someplace. Someplace I haven’t seen.”
Now Laney’s stomach hurt. She hugged him and laid her head on his chest, hoping that would take away the hurt for both of them.
“It’s not that I want to tell you what to do or anything,” he said, wrapping his arms around her. “I just want you to care what I think.”
“I do care,” she protested.
“Yeah, right,” he said sullenly.
They were getting married! This was supposed to be fun. Why wasn’t she having fun? Maybe because her period was right around the corner. She always felt bitchy before her period.
That was it, of course. She’d be back to normal in a few days.
Meanwhile, though, she had to get back to normal with Drake. “How about we go up there the first weekend in May? I think they have some festival then. It’ll probably be lame, but we can check it out, maybe do some rock climbing. I’ll show you the park on the river, and we can go to the rafting place and talk to them about renting a raft for the wedding.”
Mom had forgotten to add that to their list of things to do when they’d gone to Icicle Falls. She’d probably be glad to see that Laney had taken care of it. Not that she was worried about Mom right now. It was Drake she wanted to please. She looked up at him, hoping to see the smile back on his face.
It wasn’t yet, but he nodded in agreement. “Okay. Fair enough.”
“And to make things even, I won’t go with you when you and the guys pick out your tuxes.”
Now he did smile. “I’m not doing that without you. I don’t wanna screw it up.”
“It’s hard to screw up renting a tux. But you’d find a way,” she teased and started jogging again.
“That’s why you have to come with,” he said, falling in step with her.
They completed their jog in perfect harmony, so she should’ve been in a great mood later that afternoon when she picked up her best friend, Autumn, to go wedding-gown shopping. But she found herself feeling mildly grumpy. What bride felt grumpy about shopping for a wedding gown? Oh, yeah, one who had PMS. Oh, well. Trying on wedding dresses was bound to put her in a good mood.
It was just PMS, wasn’t it? “It’s not that I don’t like everything we decided on,” she said as she and Autumn drove to meet her mom and aunt and grandma at the bridal shop in the U district that her mom had suggested.
“What’s with this ‘we’ stuff?” Autumn scolded. “It’s your wedding. Who’s in control?”
“I am,” Laney insisted. She was. She was having her donut cake and she was getting married on the river.
“I guess,” Autumn said dubiously. “Your mom’s really sweet, but sometimes she kinda takes over.”
“Well, she’s not taking over today. I’m the one wearing the wedding gown. And the bride is always right. That’s what Mom says.”
“Sure. If you say so.”
She did say so. And yeah, okay, maybe her mom was a little controlling. But Autumn should talk. Her mom still got on her about cleaning their house, even came over every other week with her Pledge and dust rag to check that it was done right. Mom never did stuff like that. She hadn’t told Laney what to do since she moved out.
Only since she got engaged.
No, she hasn’t, Laney reminded herself. She’s just made suggestions.
Well, she wasn’t going to be making any suggestions about Laney’s wedding gown. Laney wanted the decision to be hers and hers alone. She wanted to fall in love with the perfect gown for her big day.
Autumn dropped the subject, and they picked up the two other bridesmaids, Drake’s younger sister, Darcy, and Laney’s other close friend Ella, who’d recently gotten engaged.
“I don’t know how you guys are pulling this together so fast,” Ella said to Laney as they drove down Forty-Fifth. “There’s so much to do.”
“It helps when your mom does it for a living.”
“I’m impressed,” Ella said. “Gordy and I aren’t getting married until next February, and I’m about to have a nervous breakdown.”
“Go to Hawaii and get married on the beach,” said Autumn. “That’s what I want to do when I get married.”
“That’s what I want to do, too,” said Darcy. She was the youngest of them all and had just broken up with her boyfriend, so Laney suspected a wedding on the beach at Kauai would be a ways off.
“Too expensive,” Ella said. “Half the family wouldn’t be able to come, and my mom would have a shit fit.”
“It’s not about your mom,” Laney told her, and Autumn pretended to choke on the Diet Coke she was drinking.
“Tell that to her,” Ella retorted as they pulled up in front of Here Comes the Bride. Even though they were ten minutes early, Mom’s car was already parked in front of the shop. They walked in to find her standing in front of a rack of size-six gowns along with Aunt Kendra and Grammy, in earnest conversation with the saleswoman.
“Let’s set this one aside,” Mom was saying, pointing to a low-cut gown with sheer sleeves.
“Not taking over at all,” Autumn said under her breath.
“Shut up,” Laney whispered back, and Autumn smirked.
Having heard the little bell over the door, Mom looked over her shoulder and smiled at Laney. “Hi, sweetie,” she called. “Are you ready to play princess?”
That was what they’d called it when Laney was a little girl and dressing up in pillowcases, lace and bits of organza and anything else Mom had lying around. This time she’d be dressing up and it would be for real. The last time they’d done anything like this was when they’d gone shopping for her prom dress. The dress shopping had been fun but things had gone downhill fast.
She remembered how Mom had tried to control her prom night and ruin all her big plans with Drake. “Someday you’ll understand,” Mom had predicted right before the fight got really ugly. She was an adult now, and she still didn’t understand.
The memory of the prom-night battle didn’t exactly sweeten her mood. But she smiled and went over and dutifully kissed everyone.
“Hi, girls,” Mom said to the bridesmaids. “I’m so glad you could join us today. Maybe we can find your dresses, too.”
“Wow, you are efficient,” Ella murmured.
“We don’t want to put it off too long in case we need alterations,” Mom told her. To the saleswoman, she said, “This is my daughter, Laney.”
“Hello, Laney,” said the woman. “I’m Glenda. My assistant, Rose, and I will be happy to help you find the perfect gown today.”
The perfect gown. Laney’s bad mood melted. “Thanks.”
Mom held up the one she’d been looking at. “What do you think of this one?” she asked Laney.
It was okay, but… “I don’t like the long sleeves,” Laney replied.
“Up in the mountains it could still be chilly in the evenings,” Mom said.
Grammy pulled out a gown weighed down with ruffles. “Here’s a nice sleeveless one.”
Laney wrinkled her nose. “Too ruffly.”
“Oh,” Grammy said, surprised, and put it back.
“Told you,” Aunt Kendra said to her.
“This is nice.” Autumn lifted a simple satin gown with a sweetheart neckline and a full skirt from the rack.
“Nice” didn’t come close. It was freakin’ awesome. “I love that,” Laney breathed.
“How about this one?” Aunt Kendra asked, pulling out a gown with cap sleeves.
It was pretty, too, trimmed with lace and sequins, but she didn’t love it the way she did the first one.
“Why don’t we set you up in a dressing room and you can try these on,” suggested Glenda. She called over her assistant, who took one of the gowns. Then she smiled at everyone else. “Ladies, if you’d like to go on over to our seating area, we’ll bring your bride out in a minute.”
“Try this one on, too,” Mom said, handing over the long-sleeved gown.
Laney frowned. She’d already said she didn’t like it. “No, I don’t want that one.”
“Just try it on,” Mom urged.
“Okay.” But she wasn’t taking it.
“Hey, here’s one,” said Ella, holding up a lacy number with seed pearls, a full skirt and a long train.
“I’ll try that one on, too,” Laney decided.
So, off she went to the dressing room, with Glenda right behind her.
The first gown she tried on was the one with the sweetheart neckline. She felt like a princess in it. Glenda fluffed out the skirt and Laney turned and smiled at her reflection. Drake would love her in this.
Glenda ushered her from the changing room to where her family and friends sat in a grouping of comfy chairs.
“Oh, wow,” said Aunt Kendra. “You look great.”
Grammy’s expression was slightly pained and Mom was half smiling.
Laney would never fight with her grandma, but Mom was a different story. “What?” she demanded. As if she didn’t know.
Mom almost jumped. “Nothing.”
“You don’t like it.”
“No, it’s very nice,” Mom said and managed a long-suffering smile.
“You don’t like my tat showing.” And if she wore her hair up, the one on her neck would show, too. But so what? She happened to like her body art, even if her mother didn’t.
Mom sidestepped the issue. “We don’t have to buy the first dress you try on. Let’s see what the others look like.”
“Fine,” Laney snapped. With a swish of her skirt she whirled around and marched back to the changing room.
Next came the gown with the capped sleeves. “I like the first one better,” said Autumn.
“Me, too,” Ella chimed in.
“Yeah, me, too,” said Laney.
“It’s a very pretty gown,” Grammy said, and Laney noticed her grandmother didn’t say she looked pretty in it.
The third gown got slightly more positive reviews but Grammy still wasn’t oohing and aahing and neither was Mom.
“Let’s see the long-sleeved one,” Mom said.
Keep an open mind, Laney told herself as she returned to the dressing room.
One look in the mirror confirmed it; this wasn’t the gown for her. It was definitely a princess gown, but one a dated Disney princess would wear.
“My goodness, she’s beautiful,” Grammy gushed when she came out to model it for the others.
She shook her head. “It’s too old-fashioned.”
Grammy disagreed. “That’s not old-fashioned. That’s classic.”
“The tat will still show,” Laney said. So if that was Mom’s issue, what was the point of getting it?
Her mother studied the gown and tapped her finger to her lips thoughtfully. “It’s not bad.”
Oh, just what she wanted, a gown people would look at and say, “It’s not bad.”
“Don’t do it,” cautioned Autumn.
Autumn was right.
“We’ve got all afternoon,” Aunt Kendra said. “I say try on every gown they have in your size.”
And so she did, with Glenda and Rose scurrying back and forth, their arms full of lace and organza and satin. None of the gowns did it for her like that first one. “I want to try that on again,” she said to Glenda as her assistant bore away yet another gown.
The woman nodded and helped her into it. She looked at her reflection. Oh, yes, this was the gown she wanted. She went back out. “This is the one.”
“It is nice,” said Grammy.
“If that’s the one you want, that’s the one you should get.” Sadly, it wasn’t Mom who said this. It was Aunt Kendra.
“Let’s look a little more,” Mom suggested.
“I’ve tried on every friggin’ gown in the place,” Laney growled.
“I know. But there are other shops.”
“Mom, my tat’s gonna show. There’s nothing you can do to hide it.” Maybe her mom would like her to get married in a white body bag.
“Sweetie, you want to be sure,” Mom said.
“I am sure.” She loved the gown. She could see herself in it, walking through the woods to that raft on the river. This was what she wanted to be wearing in her wedding pictures.
“I still think we should look around a little more.”
“Until we find something you like. I thought this was my wedding.” Why was Mom being like this? She was spoiling everything.
“It is, but I don’t think that’s the best gown for you.”
“This is the gown I want.”
Mom sighed, and in that sigh was a world of disapproval.
“Oh, never mind.” Laney stormed off to the dressing room. Never mind the friggin’ gown. She’d get married in shorts (lowriders!) and a bikini top. Maybe she’d even get another tattoo before the wedding. A tramp stamp. Mom would love that.
Just as she was leaving, she met her mother coming into the changing area with still another gown. “Here’s one we missed,” Mom said. It had a sweetheart neckline…and a long-sleeved lace jacket to go with it. Yet another attempt to cover the hated tattoos.
“I don’t want to try it on,” Laney snapped. “I don’t want to try on any more wedding gowns. In fact, I don’t want to get married in a gown, after all,” she added.
“Oh, come on, Laney. Don’t be like that,” Mom said, following her out of the changing area.
“Like what?”
“Stubborn,” Mom said, irritated. “Just try this on.”
“No. I’m done.” Laney grabbed her purse. “Let’s go, you guys,” she said to her bridesmaids.
“Laney, quit acting like you’re twelve,” her mother scolded.
“I’ll quit acting like I’m twelve when you quit treating me like I’m twelve,” Laney called over her shoulder as she made her way to the door.
“Oh, boy,” Ella said.
“That went well,” added Autumn. “But hey, I don’t blame you. It’s your wedding.”
Somebody needed to explain that to Mom.