After the meeting, I spent most of the day cleaning up after the disastrous New Year’s Eve party. This was no way to spend the first day of the New Year, but after what transpired between Luke and me last night, I needed something to take my mind off things.
Unfortunately, even with my workout playlist blaring through my earphones, cleaning wasn’t exactly doing the trick. It only gave me more time to replay our first kiss over and over again in my head. I might as well have been lying in bed dreaming about him. But someone needed to clean up this mess, and I seriously doubted Drew or my father would dare get their hands dirty if it involved cleaning products. But it wasn’t an issue because they weren’t even home.
After the meeting, I wasn’t sure what to expect from Luke, but not only did Luke hold my hand in front of Cade and hug me like it was the most natural thing in the world, he wanted to see me later too, which was completely freaking me out, and since nothing was ever set in stone, I wasn’t sure what to do. Should I text him? Wait for him to text me? What if he just showed up and I smelled like Pine-Sol? Without a second thought, I stripped my hands of the rubber cleaning gloves, threw my dirty rag in the washer, and ran upstairs to take a shower.
As the hot water washed away the scent of disinfectant, my thoughts turned to what really concerned me. What should I do now? I wanted to be with Luke, and after last night, I could only hope he wanted to be with me too. If he did, I would have to do something. Either I’d have to come clean to Luke or tell my father that I was out, that I wouldn’t be a part of their plan to destroy the Red Ridge Pack. One thing was certain: I couldn’t be with Luke and lie to him. If I was really being honest with myself, I’d never felt about anyone the way I felt about Luke Stanton. Surely it wasn’t love. It was way too soon for that, but something was happening, and I didn’t want it to end.
Out of the blue, a storm of emotions, from elation to dread, tore through me. My breathing became erratic, my chest ached, and my eyes burned with unshed tears. I sank down into the tub and covered my face with my hands as the water poured over me. What the hell had I gotten myself into? My father would never forgive me if I turned my back on him, and if I told Luke the truth, I’d most likely be banned from my pack, or worse, and then Luke would hate me for sure for deceiving him. I was trapped in a no-win situation with no way out.
It was times like this that I really missed my mom. She would know exactly what I should do. Actually, if she were still alive, I probably wouldn’t be in this situation. Now there was only one person I could talk to about this—my brother. Not Drew, the faux-brother from hell, my real brother, Gavin.
I wasn’t sure if I was ready for the earful he was sure to unleash upon me, but I needed to talk to someone. First I needed to see where I really stood with Luke. For all I knew, he could want to meet up to tell me that our kiss was a huge mistake. That he wasn’t interested in taking things any further. Or maybe he did want to take things further…a lot further. Maybe sex was all he was after. Then what was I going to do? When we first met, I’d convinced myself that I could hook up with him, no strings attached, but now I didn’t think I could do it. Not when I had real feelings for him. I already felt like my father was whoring me out; I didn’t need Luke treating me like one too.
Suddenly I wasn’t looking forward to our little meeting. There was only this little, teeny-tiny chance that Luke actually cared about me too, and if that was true, I’d be thrilled, but then I’d have to figure out what to do about my pack. No, that wasn’t true. Even if Luke wasn’t serious about me, I knew I couldn’t go through with any of it. I’d tried to make myself believe that what I was expected to do wasn’t so bad. All I had to do was get close to Luke and persuade him to side with Aiden. And maybe that wasn’t completely horrible on its own, but the truth was, I knew there was much more to the plan. My father and Drew’s part combined with mine was unforgivable and just plain wrong. I needed to find a way out of this mess and somehow avoid hurting Luke in the process.
By the time I finally emerged from the shower, I’d decided my best bet was to wait and see where things stood with Luke, and then go from there. There was nothing I could do at the moment anyway. The only thing I was sure of was that I wasn’t going to deceive Luke. Whatever happened, happened, but there was no way I would mention Aiden or Cade. I was staying out of it, but like it or not, I’d have to make some tough decisions sooner rather than later.
It wasn’t too long after I’d gotten ready that Luke texted me to see if I wanted to meet up. Again, he wasn’t clear what “meet up” meant, but I didn’t ask. It didn’t matter. I needed to see him, so instead, I replied sure, and within seconds he let me know that he would be here in thirty minutes.
Time ticked by at a snail’s pace as I glared at the clock for torturing me. Needless to say, it was the longest thirty minutes of my life, and the only thing that made it bearable was that my dad and Drew were mysteriously absent from the house. They never came back from the meeting, and I hadn’t heard from either of them since this morning.
As I picked up and put away the last of the evidence of the party-gone-awry, the doorbell rang, and immediately a lump formed in my throat. How could I be so ridiculously excited yet so scared to death to see someone? These feelings shouldn’t go hand in hand, yet here I stood, petrified and exhilarated.
I swung open the door, and when Luke’s eyes met mine, a smile spread across his gorgeous face. He had on the same black hoodie and low-slung jeans as he did this morning, but now wore a red baseball cap turned backward. With his dark hair hidden underneath, his perfect face had never looked more delectable. The desire to pull him inside and finish what we’d started last night coursed through my body, and I could hardly breathe, let alone think straight. Words failed me as I just stood there staring like a complete and utter fool.
But as soon as he reached out his hand and asked, “You wanna get out of here?” I could breathe again. The nervousness drained from my body as I slipped my hand in his and he led me to his car.
Pulling out on the open road, Luke asked, “How about we just go for a drive? Get away from the estate for a while?”
“Sounds perfect,” I replied, and I’d meant it. Nothing sounded better than getting far, far away from this place. As we drove past the Red Ridge city limits, Luke visibly relaxed, and I wondered just how hard he was taking this alpha thing or if there was something else going on.
We made small talk as we headed toward an unknown destination, and for the briefest moment, my mind went to that place that tried to convince me that Luke didn’t care about me. But those thoughts were quickly squashed as I watched his eyes dance when he laughed at something silly I’d said. Then without hesitation, he reached his hand out and found mine, just like he had this morning, and it felt so natural. With our fingers intertwined, I felt happy for the first time in a long time. I felt secure, and that scared the living shit out of me.
As the foreign feeling washed over me, I turned to look out the window, trying to hide the smile I could no longer contain. Gently squeezing my hand, Luke said, “I’d give anything to know what’s going on in your head.”
Feeling my cheeks redden, I coyly replied, “Anything?”
With a sly grin on his perfect face, Luke cut his eyes my way for a moment before refocusing on the road to confirm, “Yeah, anything.”
“In that case, I’ll tell you what’s on my mind, but only if you tell me what’s on yours first.”
When he didn’t respond, I thought I’d somehow managed to ruin our flirty moment, but after a minute or so, Luke turned off the main road and into the parking lot of a small park. As he pulled the car into a spot that overlooked the playground, he finally replied, “Deal, but first we do something I haven’t done since I was like ten. We play.”
“Play? It’s already dark and like twenty below out there. You sure you’re not just stalling?” I teased, even though in that moment, the gleam in Luke’s chocolate brown eyes could have convinced me to scale a mountain.
“Yes, play. Come on, five minutes. It’ll be fun.” Luke was out of the car and rushing around to pull me out of my seat before I could refuse. I may not be the best at talking, but playing I could do. As soon as my feet hit the pavement, I lightly shoved Luke and yelled, “You’re it!” Then I took off running toward the playground.
Hot on my trail, Luke was clearly faster than me but he gave me a chance to get on the other side of the jungle gym before he cut through the middle and tagged me. “Gotcha!” Luke shouted as he took off toward the slide. I followed after, knowing I wouldn’t have a chance of catching him if he didn’t want me to. Luke climbed up the little rope ladder that led to a ramp. From the top of the ramp, he looked back to see where I was and then waved as he took off down a long, winding tube slide. I’d barely made it up the ramp by the time I heard his feet hit the ground.
I looked out over the edge as he rounded a corner, but I refused to give up. I sat down at the top of the slide and couldn’t help but laugh. Years had passed since I’d been on a playground, and a surprising thrill shot through me as I pushed off to slide and sailed down to the bottom.
After the last turn, the tube opened up, and I lifted my head to glance around for any sign of Luke. He was nowhere in sight, but before my feet reached the pebble-covered ground, he emerged from the darkness and scooped me up in his arms like a baby and swung me around. Shocked, a small cry fled from my lips, causing him to chuckle. His entire face lit up, and I realized that before that moment, I’d never seen him look truly content.
Unwrapping his arm from underneath my knees, Luke lowered my feet to the ground. Smiling up at him, I said, “Caught you.”
His eyes danced in delight as he replied, “Yes, you have.” He leaned down and gently pressed his lips to mine. It was a chaste kiss that was way too brief, yet somehow it was just as sensual as the one from last night.
As he pulled away, he whispered, “Come on. Let’s get back to the car and get warmed up.” I nodded my head in reply, choosing not to mention that he’d just set my body on fire and the last thing I was thinking about was the weather.
Back in the car with the heater on high, I turned to Luke and asked, “So, what’s on your mind, Luke Stanton?”
He looked conflicted, as if he couldn’t decide what answer to give. All of a sudden, I wasn’t sure if I truly wanted to know. Before he spoke, he took my hand in his, and I was right back to being both terrified and thrilled.
“Scarlett, what’s on my mind is you.” He took a deep breath and then continued, “There’s so much shit going on right now between Aiden and Cade, and now whatever the hell is up with Marcus, but all I can think about is you. I’ve tried really hard not to want you, not to care about you. But I can’t help it. I do. And that’s the most honest I’ve been in a long time.”
Honest. He said the one word that managed to squash the joy that was building inside me as I listened to his confession. I might not have been able to tell him everything, but I could be honest about one thing. “I care about you too. But you confuse the hell out of me. One second you seem interested, and the next…”
“I’ve been an idiot, Scarlett. With everything going on, I convinced myself that I shouldn’t get involved because I knew I really liked you, and right now, I need to focus on my pack. But I just want to be with you, and I don’t want to deny it anymore.”
I didn’t know what to say. He said everything I’d wanted him to. He cared about me. He wanted to be with me. The truth was right there in his eyes, and before I realized what I was doing, I turned away, worried that the truth might be in mine as well.
Luke removed his hand from mine, and a chill ran up my spine, leaving me colder than when I’d been running around outside in the freezing weather. But then he reached over, wrapped his arms around me, and pulled me into his lap.
“Say something, Scarlett,” Luke pleaded when I refused to look him in the eyes.
I told him the only truth I had in that moment. “I want to be with you too.” And then I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him.