All the answers. Promise.
I sat on my bed, knees bunched to my chest, and rested my chin atop them. I’d stared at a leafy green invitation for hours. They’d come earlier today, invites to Tess and Kheelan’s upcoming vow renewal. One for Julie and one for me, but hers was an actual invitation with dates and times. Mine was just a piece of paper with Tess’s handwriting.
All the answers. Promise.
She knew me so well and knew that a basic invitation written by someone else wouldn’t be enough to convince me. But those four simple words were exactly what I wanted to hear.
I stared at it as my heart thwomped in my ears, beat after beat. I couldn’t drown it out. My chest tightened, and I wrapped my arms around my legs, demanding my lungs to relax, and a long sigh escaped from me as I reached for the paper again. I scrawled one simple word in reply.
Fine.
The note dissipated before my eyes, and the dust blew out the window.
***
The sun glinted off the pond by Oliver’s, glaring in my eyes.
“Y’know, I’ve never spent more than a few hours in Faerie,” Julie said as she stared unblinking at the water. “Most of it in Dreams, roaming the libraries and archives.”
I turned to her. She’d torn through half her wardrobe before deciding on jeans and a white tank top, muttering something like Tess would have outfits for us to wear. Anxiety rippled off her. But I understood why she felt that way, returning to a place that rejected you, a place you longed for.
“Hey, Jules,” I said, and she finally looked at me. “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”
She sucked in a deep breath of air and smiled. “No, I want to.” Her eyebrow arched at my leather jacket. “You’re gonna want to lose the heavy clothes, though.”
“Why–”
Julie grabbed my hand and touched the water. We wisped right to an open field, half surrounded by wooded forest, the other half opened to a vast valley and distant hills over the crashing shores of the sea. Luscious, citrusy scents wafted in the air, mixed with saltwater and apple blossoms.
A lovely wooden carriage awaited, the driver standing near the door.
“Ladies,” he greeted and bowed at the waist of his golden tunic. “Lady Summer has requested I deliver you safely to the castle for this evening’s ceremony.”
Julie just waggled her eyebrows at me.
Sweat already coated my skin, locked in by the insane humidity. Summer was in full swing here. I slipped out of my leather jacket and rolled up my sleeves as I followed her to the carriage and let the driver help us step inside. Two benches faced each other, flanked by small open windows.
He cracked the reins, and we headed down the narrow mouth of a path that cut through the beautiful forest. I stared out one of the windows, relishing the gentle breeze on my clammy face. Giant bees the size of squirrels buzzed alongside pixies of every color, catching the sun's rays that pierced the forest canopy.
“So, what does Cillian think of you coming here?” Julie asked me.
I chewed at the side of my lip. “Less than enthused.” I glanced back at the passing scenery. A deer with golden antlers galloped by. “I think he feels the more time I spend in this world, even amongst Fae kind in Ironworld, draws me further away from him. He wants nothing to do with the magical realm and thinks I will get hurt.”
“I get it,” she replied. A sort of understanding in her crystal blue eyes. “He doesn’t want to be part of a world that rejected him.” She shrugged and shook her head, and I could see the mixed feelings wrought on her face. If anyone could relate, it was Julie. “And he loves you. Whether he’s said it yet or not, he does. I can tell. And he probably feels helpless having to watch you head off to a world he can’t even step foot in, worried if you’ll even return.”
I crossed my arms and leaned back. “I hadn’t even considered….”
The carriage jostled over bumps as Julie swiftly moved to my bench. “Don’t beat yourself up, though. I trust you; we all do. I don’t believe you’d put yourself in danger just to learn magic. If you think Oden can help, and he clearly has been, then you do what you feel is right. Cillian must know that, deep down.”
I thought about my last encounter with Oden, how I spat on him with hate in my eyes. I never wanted to see him again. Julie was wrong; I’d made a bad decision, I’d entered a bargain with the Dark Lord of Nightmares in the trust he only wanted to help me, but it was all part of his plan to use me.
Shame filled my chest, pressing on my lungs, but I forced a smile for her. “Well, you’ll all be happy to hear that I’m not going back. I think I’ve learned enough.”
Her eyes widened. “So, the bargain’s done?”
The golden mark of three moons pulled at the skin of my lower back, a constant reminder that it wasn’t over. I shrugged and peered out the window. The swirling tops of a castle appeared in the distance. “I made it pretty clear during my last visit.”
I knew she could tell there was more I wasn’t saying, but, like the friend she was, Julie straightened and wiggled in her seat. “Good. I could use your help at the Sanctuary.”
I laughed. “It’s been a while since I visited. How are things going there?”
“Things are okay now,” she replied, braiding her fingers together in her lap. “But more and more Fae are fleeing the Seelie lands and spilling into Ironworld in search of refuge. We’re taking in as many as possible, but space and supplies are running low.”
“Maybe Tess could help,” I suggested.
“You think she would?”
“I think if she wants any hope of repairing our relationship, it’s the least she can do.”
This woman, this Fae ruler that swept me away in the dead of night to an unknown world and lied to me my entire life…yeah, she owed me an explanation, but she also had the means to help those poor Fae, and I wanted to hold on to the idea that the Tess I knew was real. The kind-hearted, loving, helpful woman that raised me.
The carriage rolled to a stop inside a courtyard, and Julie looked at me. “Well, let’s see how today goes before we ask for favors.”
The door swung open, and we stepped into the sunlight that seemed to radiate from everywhere. The Summer castle loomed overhead and stretched as far left and right as I could see. It was made of pale sandstone with open arches and canopies of flowers. The courtyard was filled with blooming gardens and trickling fountains where fish jumped and splashed. Below our feet, a path set with shells and stones led the way to the front gates and beyond.
We followed an usher into the castle, where servants and staff bustled about, carrying fabrics, trays, and endless décor in preparation for the ceremony. Everyone seemed to be in good spirits, excited for the return of their Lady. The vibe was infectious, and I smiled at those who passed us by as our guide led us through winding corridors and up curling staircases to our quarters.
“Here we are,” the woman said, a delicate Fae with skin the color of wet sand and pink hair that cascaded to her waist and shimmered like pearls. She turned the giant golden knob on the wooden door, letting it swing open. “This will be your shared quarters for your stay.”
“I’d like to speak with Tes–with the Lady of Summer before the ceremony,” I said.
The woman blinked. “I’m afraid that’s not possible. The Lady is busy with preparations. You may speak with her after the festivities.”
“Oh.” Disappointment fettered in my chest, and I exchanged a glance with Julie.
The woman motioned for us to step inside. “Everything you need is already in the room. A team will be by shortly to get you both ready.”
She turned on her heel and sped off down the corridor before we could answer.
Julie shrugged. “Shall we check it out?”
I smiled and released the tight breath held captive in my chest as I followed her inside. The shared room was more like an apartment. A common room with luxurious coral couches and golden accents sat in the center, flanked by a quaint kitchenette, towering bookcases stuffed with leatherbound titles, and a curved patio overlooked the courtyard. Three doors lined the back wall, and we poked our heads in each one. Two bedrooms and the biggest bathroom I’d ever seen, even more than the one I used at Oden’s.
Sweat pooled in all my unsightly areas, and I shed the loose shirt I wore over a tank top. “Is it always this hot here? I almost jumped in the fountain downstairs.”
Julie chuckled as she poked around the books, tilting her head to read the spines. “I’m not sure. This is my first real trip to Summer aside from our stint in the dungeons. And it wasn’t that hot then.”
I wanted to ask her more and talk about how she felt being there. And Tomas. I never got the chance in the carriage ride, but I’d meant to speak to her about him. The poor guy was heartbroken and confused. If she was going to break it off completely, she had to tell him rather than avoid him.
But a prep team showed up and divided us. Trays of food and wine were constantly refilled as we ate. I took one into the bath with me while Julie picked out fabrics and welcomed the warm buzz of the wine while I let a trio of rainbow-skinned Fae poke and prod at me.
After hours of prepping, I stood before a golden-framed mirror and stared in disbelief. My pale skin glowed against the scanty teal sheer dress that looped around my neck and hung down my body, only covering what was needed. The thin fabric bunched at my waist, held by a stunning golden belt.
They pulled my long, red curls back with a clip and the ponytail trailed down my bare back, touching the gilded bargain embedded there. Chunky gold jewelry bedecked my wrists, fingers, and ears, catching the glint of gold dust blown onto my skin. I just stood and stared at my reflection. If I had pointed ears, I’d pass as Fae.
Julie was dressed in a similar fashion, but her dress was shell-white and adorned with mother-of-pearl accessories. Her stark blonde hair was left in soft waves, a simple coral barrette pinning it back behind one pointed ear.
“You look amazing,” she told me with wide eyes.
I gestured up and down at her. “You look like a sexy angel.” We shared a laugh as we were passed new flutes of wine. “Why are you holding on to your glamour, though?” I asked, noting how her skin still resembled that peachy, human tone and her blue eyes didn’t hold the depths of the sky.
Her cheeks reddened. “I don’t know. I’m just…used to it, I guess. Like a reflex.”
I walked toward her and gently took her hand in mine. “Just let it go. Of all the places in the world, this is one where you can definitely be yourself.”
She searched my eyes for any sign of doubt and sucked in a long, deep breath. As she released it, the last of her glamour faded, and the radiant, ethereal, snow-white goddess blossomed. The sun seemed to soak into her snowy skin, making it glow like diamond dust, refracting off every strand of alabaster hair. Her blue eyes now held the vastness of the skies, captivating me, almost making my knees buckle and send me to the ground at the sight of them.
I’d seen her in her full Fae form, but not like this. Perhaps being here, in her homeland, away from the stifle of Ironworld, revealed even more of her eternal beauty.
“What?” she said, her face unreadable.
I shook my head and blinked away the daze. “You have no idea how absolutely breathtaking you are, Jules. If this is what Winter Fae look like in Summer, I don’t think I’d be able to handle seeing them in their own realm of Winter.”
She rolled her eyes and shoved at my arm. “Oh, my gods, shut up.” She downed her entire glass of wine and turned to one of the waiting maids. “Is it time to go yet?”
“No, not quite yet. The ceremony starts in an hour.” The older Fae gestured to one of the staff waiting by the door. A smaller, much younger Fae with an auburn pixie cut and big green eyes. “Ginny would be happy to take you both on a tour of the castle and grounds if you like.”
“Lead the way, Ginny,” I said. If we stayed in the room for another hour, Julie would be wasted on Summer wine before the ceremony even began.
I knew she was nervous, unsettled even. Being here was just as strange for Julie as it was for me. But I wondered if she felt the same thing I did, the little inkling in the bottom of my stomach, tied to an invisible string that undoubtedly pulled me to Faerie. It was an ancient thing; the feeling of belonging and unbelonging and the magic and emotion festered inside me.
Ginny sped through the castle, eager to show us every nook and cranny. Several wings made up the building, each filled with various quarters, libraries, meeting rooms, halls, and more. We saw everything there was to see, from the ornate ocean details that touched every part to the massive kitchen filled with foods of every nature. Tiers of mini cakes and pies, trays of sausages and meats, cheeses, and at least four different types of bread that I could count.
Julie and I joked about several aspects; the gaudy vases and paintings of half-naked Fae, some with the lower half of a sea creature. There was a mix of them. Whale tails, flowy ribbons, fish fins, and more. I wondered if real mermaids looked like that, not the cartoons I grew up watching.
We swiped a couple of cheesy buns from the kitchen and happily accepted a few flutes of wine from passing staff. We eventually made our way outside, but at the back of the property where the ceremony was being assembled. A vast, never-ending mass of gardens and fruit trees and flowing fountains. Canopies of white flowers hung overhead with butterflies fluttering about.
White chairs lined and filled the sides of a wide path, trodden with the same white flowers as above. The sun beaming down made the setting seem like a dream. Julie fit right in as Fae began filing in and taking seats. But, when I glanced down at myself, I realized…I did, too, even in my human form.
The image of what Oden showed me in the lake that day flashed across my mind, and I blinked away the memory of what I’d truly look like as Fae. If I ever decided to accept the orb that Oliver kept for me.
It was almost cruel to have shown me because…deep down…I did want to be like them. Beautiful and eternal and special. But to give up my humanity now, when it was the only thing I clung to, the only thing that hasn’t changed in my life…
It was overwhelming to even think about it.
Once the seats were full, Kheelan and Tess walked to the altar from each side and faced one another. Kheelan’s tall, lithe frame was covered in a white suit with gold embroidery, his long blonde hair pulled back in a pony at the nape of his neck. A golden sword, thin and seemingly useless, dangled from his side. An accessory, really.
It took me a moment to drag my eyes to Tess because some weird part of me knew I’d find her staring right back. And she was. She stood across from her husband, a golden bouquet in her hands, and gazed over the crowd at me. Her blue eyes glistened with gratitude and remorse, and I had to look away.
I glanced up only when the priest began reciting the words, relieved to find her looking at Kheelan. I finally noted her dress, a flowing train of white and gold silk, draped around her neck and gathered at the waist with a belt. Her waves were swept back from her face with combs, and she was crowned in gold.
The vow renewal was lovely and nothing like what I expected. I thought it’d be grander and more impactful. For an event that took nearly twenty years to complete and one that would give their domain the power to rise to a court, I figured there’d at least be more people.
But it was quaint and intimate with soft melodies of harps and violins. The food began appearing on white-dressed tables surrounding the seating area in a semi-circle. Once everyone was standing, the chairs disappeared, and round table sets took their place.
Julie and I made a beeline for the food and loaded our plates with everything we’d seen in the kitchens earlier. We found a spot to sit and made it about halfway through our spoils before one of the servants approached the table.
“The Lord and Lady of Summer request your presence in a private hall,” he said with gloved hands tucked behind his back.
I dropped everything immediately and shot to my feet, desperate to speak to Tess, although Julie seemed reluctant to leave behind her meat pie. The Fae led us from the celebration and back into the castle to a set of double doors. Two others opened them for us, and inside, the Lord and Lady of Summer awaited on thrones carved of giant conch shells.
They’d already changed from their ceremonial garb into more casual attire. Kheelan in loose white pants and tunic, Tess sporting a similar sheer contraption to what Julie and I wore. Only hers was as bright as the sun on the sea.
She straightened and moved forward at the sight of me, but Kheelan’s steady hand swiftly moved over top of hers on the arm of her throne, signaling her to remain seated. My heart raced, and I wiped my sweaty palms against my dress as we approached them. Julie gave a respectful curtsey-like bow, and I tried to copy her. I could have sworn I heard Tess stifle a snicker.
“Congratulations,” Julie said to them.
Kheelan just nodded. I couldn’t tell if he looked bored or if that was just his face. But Tess beamed with hesitant excitement, her eyes never leaving me.
“Thank you for coming,” she said to both of us. “I wasn’t sure you would.”
“How can one refuse such an honor?” Julie replied, and I wanted to kick her at the weird formal tone. But, then again, she knew more about the royal protocols of Fae than I did. I knew nothing. I was probably offending Oden and his entire domain regularly when I was there.
Tess exchanged a look with Kheelan. “Yes, well, I must admit my intentions for inviting you here are layered. I wanted you both to be part of this day–my day–our…day,” she fumbled over her words. I’d never seen her like this before. “But I also needed to clear up a few things.”
I crossed my arms, but they almost slipped from their place at how clammy my skin was. “I’d like that, too.”
Tess’s cheeks flushed pink as she stared at me with eyes full of emotions, unspoken words, secrets, and a life lived long before I was born. “I was telling Kheelan the story, the whole story, of the night I ran away. The why…and the how.” She cleared her throat. “And the details about where exactly I took you from.”
I chortled. “Some creepy nursery in the Seelie castle, I presume?”
Kheelan shifted in his seat. “Yes, our world assumes as much since the news of your existence has spread.”
So my secret wasn’t really a secret anymore.
Tess wrought her hands together in her lap. “No, I took you from the loving family I’d hidden you with since your birth.”
“What?” Julie and I replied in unison.
“How much do you know about Fae gestation periods?” Tess asked.
I cringed and rifled through my thoughts. “Uh, Lattie once mentioned something about it. That it’s short?”
“A mere three months,” Kheelan confirmed. “From conception to birth.”
“So, what does that have to do with me?” I asked. “So what? My mother got off easier because she’s Fae?” I almost laughed.
“No,” Tess said, struggling for words. “You ran off so soon the last time we spoke. I never got the chance to explain everything. And…I…” She guiltily looked away from her husband’s stare. “I wasn’t speaking much upon my return to Summer. I never explained the entire story to anyone until a few days ago. When Kheelan and I finally…talked.”
I was the lowest of lows. I hadn’t even considered how all this might be affecting Tess. The transition back home, having to answer to so many people. But she leaned forward.
“You see, Mabry is my sister.”
A sort of cold quiet filled the hall, reminding me that it was just the four of us. No guards stood by, only outside the doors. When no one answered, and Kheelan nodded at her encouragingly, Tess continued.
“I was a Summer elf, living alone in my family’s estate by the water on the Summer beaches. Kheelan had been courting me for months, and I knew he would ask for my hand in marriage any day.” She slipped her hand into her husband’s and smiled at him. But something felt off. Forced. “One night, Mab came frantic to my home. Pregnant.” Tess’s eyes glossed over. “I’d no idea. I hadn’t seen my sister in years. We, um, never really saw eye to eye in life. She refused to tell me who the father was. I-I helped her give birth right on my kitchen floor.” She smiled–a genuine one–at me. “A baby girl.”
“Me?” The word was nothing more than a dry whisper in my mouth.
“Yes. And Mab was delirious, wrought with fear and anger and spite. My gods, she wanted me to get rid of the babe. Said it was an abomination, a painful reminder.” She tilted her head, still staring at me. “But I couldn’t do it, my gods. You were an innocent baby. So, I hid you with a family in a nearby village. The Quinns. When I returned home, my sister was gone. A few weeks later, days after Kheelan asked for my hand, I’d gotten word that the Seelie King had taken a bride. The first one ever, and it was my sister, which was one of many red flags.”
Kheelan cleared his throat, shifting in his seat. “You see, the king has never taken a bride in his entire existence. Very few knew of my Lady’s relation to her. Mabry made no claim to a family line. No one knew where she even came from. Even to this day.”
“But we’re from a long line of old Fae with great power,” Tess added and gestured at me. “Your sunlight runs in our veins, but only a few have wielded it. I think the last was over a thousand years ago.”
I flexed my hands, knowing it was there just below the surface of my skin, running through my veins, pulsing through my entire body. It was a part of me now, maybe always had been. But now I was in control.
Julie crossed her arms, her face pinched in thought. “So, that doesn’t explain what happened the night you ran away.”
Tess’s shoulders widened as she sucked in a deep breath. “My sister was mad; I’d known it my whole life. When I discovered the–when…I began to fear what she’d do to any heirs–I did what I had to do to protect you.”
It all fell on me like a heavy blanket. “So, I’m not the missing Seelie heir?”
“No, sweetheart. You’re not.”
“But, as her offspring, you do have a claim to the throne,” Kheelan butt in and immediately slunk back at the look Tess shot him. “If you wanted it, of course. In her death.”
“Why would I want that?”
Kheelan looked guilty but riddled with a sense of duty. “If you won’t take the throne, then we need you to keep acting as if you believe yourself to be the heir. It’s the only leg-up we have against Mabry. She hasn’t thought twice about her first-born daughter since that night on your aunt’s floor. But, if she believes the heir has been found, she’ll be distracted, and it might buy us the time to find a crack and infiltrate her court.”
“But it’s a lie,” I cried out. “And puts a target on my back!”
Tess pressed her lips together. “And we also need you to keep spending time in Nightmares.”
“How do you–” She looked away. I narrowed my eyes, but Julie took my hand. “You’ve been spying on me?”
“It’s for your own good–”
“But it’s putting my life in danger! I don’t want any of this!” Julie wrapped her arms around me to keep me still. “I’m not a tool for you to use in this fight. I’m not a weapon to be wielded!”
I had uttered the exact words to Oden. Is that all I was to them?
“I swear,” Tess said and shot to her feet. “We’ve got guards all over Ironworld, wards around your home, school, the gallery. Everything. We’ll overthrow Mabry but need time to garner forces, make plans, and find allies.”
Allies. Oden had an entire army and fought for the same cause, it only made sense for them to work together, and I was the bridge between Summer and Nightmares.
But Oden wanted the throne for himself.
I chewed at my lip. “What does Mabry do that makes her so bad? Aside from being a horrendous mother.”
“She taxes her people to the brink of breaking,” Kheelan said. “And won’t let anyone come or go from her lands. Her people are trapped, beaten, and worked to death. And no one is allowed in to help.”
“She’s been known to torture, even murder, those who cross her,” Tess added.
Julie turned her head and looked at me. “The Seelie is supposed to keep everything in check. Balanced. The right in all the wrong. With her on the throne, Faerie crumbles.”
“Why can’t you become a court now and challenge her throne?” I asked Kheelan and his brows shot up.
“Well, I would love nothing more,” he said. “But it would be a suicide attempt at this point. I need time to build my forces, get people in, and collect information.” He fixed his stare on me, eyes wide as he slightly lowered his head. “Time I’m hoping you can give me.”
My stomach burned. I turned to my best friend for a sign of what to do or even say. But her hapless expression gave me nothing.
I rubbed my hands over my arms. Goosebumps scaled my skin despite the hot, humid weather. “Can I think about it?”
“Of course,” Tess replied before Kheelan could. Would he have persisted that I decide? Demand I do it regardless? I couldn’t read the Lord of Summer the way I could read his wife. “Whatever you need.”
“We do have some news for you,” Julie said with reluctance, perking Kheelan’s interest. “What do you know of the coming Therian threat?”
His hands curled into fists on the arms of his throne. “We’re…aware.”
“How aware?” Julie asked. “Because her plans have shifted.” I’d told her the few details I gathered from my last trip to Nightmares. “She’s building a vampire army and plans to use them to invade Faerie.”
Kheelan’s brow lowered; Tess moved her hand over her mouth as she stared at me with worry. “We’re aware,” he repeated. It was clearly all we were going to get from him. “We’re not worried. We’ve been watching Vivian Carmichael’s movements for some time. The Therians will not break my borders. Their eternal punishment for the uprising in the Great War is death upon arrival.”
“You’re fools to think that,” Julie exclaimed, and Kheelan’s entire demeanor changed from blank calm to quiet rage. I bet no one talked to him like that.
“Not even Oden knew of her plans to betray him,” I added, distracting the Summer Lord from my friend.
“Enough!” Kheelan shot to his feet. The double doors behind us immediately swung open, and two guards stomped inside. He motioned for them to come closer. “I will not discuss private domain matters with a few lowly Ironsiders.”
Julie balked. “Lowly–”
“You’re free to roam the castle grounds,” he said sternly. Tess looked like she was fending off a sudden headache. “But your welcome expires in the morning.”
***
I let my white silk robe fall open over my matching pajamas and welcomed the cool midnight breeze that coaxed off the nearby ocean. It wove through the halls of the Summer castle as I wandered quietly. Everyone had long gone to bed, but I couldn’t sleep. I could barely sit still.
My brain ached with the pressure of all the thoughts that occupied it. Thoughts and worries that had no solutions. I’d tossed and turned in the heap of silks that dressed the bed, even found myself wishing Kol was there to snuggle and distract myself enough to fall asleep.
But I was alone here.
The dead quiet enveloped me as I sat on the deep sill of an open arch, and I peered down at the glorious courtyard below. It transformed at night. Lovely pinks and yellows became darkened versions of themselves and reached for the moonlight as the sounds of fountains bubbled in the distance.
“Can’t sleep?” Tess asked, suddenly appearing at my side. There were no footsteps on the soft sandstone, so she must have wisped.
I didn’t move my gaze from the gardens below. “I hardly do these days.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
I finally looked at her, and she pressed her lips together, eyes wet. “There’s not enough time in the world to talk about it, Tess.” I bunched my knees to my chest, and she sat in the empty space on the sill. “I feel lost, spinning in circles, passing all these stops, but I don’t know where to go. All I wanted was to move to the city with Julie, try art school, and live on my own. That’s it. I never expected to get mixed up with vampires and werewolves, never thought there was anything wrong with me–”
“There is nothing wrong with you,” she said and moved her hand over mine. I just gave her a look that said oh please, but she squeezed my hand. “Nothing. Do you hear me?”
“Fine,” I replied and cleared my throat of the tightness building there. “But still. I’ve been shown a different life, a life I was robbed of, and I’m not sure if I should mourn it or be thankful I dodged a bullet. But then again, the bullet is also staring me right in the face, and I don’t know what the right move is.”
I tore my gaze from her and returned to admiring the courtyard. Silence filled the space between us.
Tess sniffled. “I’m sorry.”
Just two words, but what else could she say? Convince me to help murder my own mother? Beg me to keep spending time in the Domain of Nightmares, where the ruler wanted to use me like a weapon, too? Help stop a race of angry, jaded werewolves from invading a world I was stolen from?
I was too young to face these possibilities and inexperienced with magic and life.
“What does your boyfriend think of it all?” she asked.
Cillian. Gods, that was another cog in the constantly moving parts of my life. “He…isn’t on board with any of it, aside from me learning to control my magic. He thinks I don’t owe you guys anything.”
A ghost of a smile moved her lips. “He’s not wrong. You owe this world nothing. If anything, you’re the one who’s owed something.”
“I’d settle for proof.”
“Proof?”
I inhaled deeply. “I need proof that I’m not the missing heir because part of me feels connected to Faerie on some deeper level, and I don’t know why. In Ironworld, everything is…hard. Here, my magic flows freely and is easy for me to control. My thoughts and dreams are plagued with ties to this world. Gods,” I guffawed. “Even the food tastes better to me.” I capped my hand over hers atop my knee. “I feel connected to this world, and it goes beyond the simple fact that I was born here. Something…calls to me.”
She waited for a beat and then let out a sigh that ended with a slight moan. “I know why.” My blood stilled, and I straightened, removing my hand from hers. She glanced around cautiously and stood up, holding out her hand for me to take. “Come. It’s easier if I show you.”
Tess took me by the hand and wove through the castle, pausing every now and then to get her bearings before we finally emerged outside at the backend courtyard that stretched toward the sea. I realized then how she barely knew her way around because she hadn’t spent much time here before fleeing to Ironworld with me. This was all as new to her as it was to me on some level. I admired her bravery for returning and facing all she left behind.
She took me to a massive fountain, an octagonal stone basin with a statue of some valiant knight on horseback in the middle. The circulating water was enough to drown out any sound we might make.
Tess sat on the edge of the fountain. I joined her as she leaned forward and tiredly raked her hands through her hair, revealing those slightly pointed ears.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
She straightened and gave me a warm, tired smile. “I’m fine.” She patted my leg. “Don’t worry about me. You’ve got your own battles to face. And…I’m sorry I didn’t prepare you for any of it. I thought–I’d hoped we would live in the country forever, just you and I, away from the harsh reality of both worlds. I just–” she chuckled sadly. “I just never accounted for you growing up.”
I had no choice but to grow up at a blinding speed in the months since moving to the city. School, two jobs, being responsible for myself, getting into a serious relationship with a vampire, then discovering an entire world of mythical creatures right under my nose, one that I belonged to but…didn’t belong to.
My heart sank, and I picked at my gold nail polish. “So, what do you need to show me?”
Her face was pensive, but I didn’t want to talk about the past and what could have been. I slowly forgave my aunt for what she did because I know now that she did it to protect me.
“I want to show you the night of my wedding,” she said. “After the ceremony, and I knew my sister wasn’t going to come, I snuck out in the middle of the night and went to the Seelie castle hoping to talk to her.”
“And did you find her?”
“Yes, and someone else.” Tess turned to face me and touched her fingertips to the water in the basin. “I’m going to show you a memory. I need you to stay still, calm, and quiet. Okay?”
I just nodded as she pressed a wet finger to my forehead, and I closed my eyes. And, just like my strange visions, I was in a dreamscape. The edges blurred and disappeared, focusing on small details. The warmth of a hearth and darkened windows in a lovely, quaint estate. In the distance, I could hear the ocean crashing against rocks. I moved further into the home, and a woman–a Fae–with hair red as blood lay screaming on the wood floor. Tess’s blonde head blocked my view of the Fae’s face, but I knew who it was.
My mother.
She screamed as she birthed a child. Her white cotton dress was soiled with blood. Tess helped coax the infant from her sister’s body and took it in her arms, wrapping it in a blanket as she peered lovingly at its face.
“Kill it,” Mabry said, her voice strained and defeated as she collapsed on the floor completely.
“Mab, you can’t be serious–”
“I said get rid of it!” she screamed madly. “It’s an abomination! I don’t need any painful reminders of what was done.” She sat up and grabbed my aunt’s sleeve desperately. “Please, sister. Just get rid of it, do this for me, and I’ll never ask of you another thing. I cannot be tied to the father; I cannot bear to even look at the babe’s face. Do this for me.”
Tess’s young face paled as she cradled the baby close to her, shielding every inch from the monster that lay on the floor. She slowly nodded, a calculated look in her distant eyes, and stood.
“Stay here,” Tess said. “I’ll be back soon.”
The memory vanished, and I was transported to the cover of a forest’s edge, watching as Tess peered out at something in the distance. No, not something…someone. Two someones, to be exact; my mother, draped in a deep red robe, her beautiful hair hung messily around her arms. She argued with a man in a black hooded cape, but I knew who it was by the berth of his shoulders and the stance of his gait.
Oden.
“I had a son,” Mabry insisted, eyes alight with madness. “Our bargain is invalid.”
“I can smell the lie on your lips!” he replied angrily. “Need I remind you that you came to me, you wanted this bargain, and you happily agreed to it. Your first-born daughter in exchange for the potion. Now I’m here to collect what is mine.”
“You said I could raise her until eighteen.”
Oden chuckled darkly. “So, you admit it is a daughter, then?”
“No, I gave birth to Orion’s son,” she argued, and I noticed her hands dripped with blood. “I just want to remind you of the terms of our bargain, Dark Lord.”
“You lie, Mabry,” Oden said. “And not very well.” He pushed past her and headed for the door she had left open behind her. “What are you up to?”
Mabry jumped to stop him, her hands leaving sticky blood all over his cloak. They argued and struggled, but their sounds drifted from my ears as my attention turned to Tess with me in the trees. Her eyes were wide with terror. Breath heaved rapidly in her chest as she backed away, mumbling something to herself.
And she was gone.
Something cold touched my forehead, and I opened my eyes as I was sucked back to reality and stared at my aunt on the fountain’s edge.
“Now you see,” she told me quietly. “Why I did everything, and why you feel so drawn to this world.”
My mouth gaped soundlessly for a moment. “I… She promised me to Oden?” I thought of the gold rings around his arm. One of them was for my mother, for the bargain she’d made on my life.
Tess nodded, her lips tight. “She must have done so blindly because she believed you were dead. I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”
Tears brimmed my eyes. “Why are you sorry? You did everything you could to protect me.” My shaky hand took hers. “But why? Why would you do that? You gave up your entire life and your duty to this place.”
She beamed proudly, her blue eyes glistening as they searched in mine. “That’s the only answer I’ve ever known with all my heart. Because the first moment I held you in my arms, I knew I loved you. My blood ran in your veins just as my sister’s did, and I loved you. The Quinns knew that. They were my mother's old friends, and I told them I’d return to get you one day. My original plan was to raise you with Kheelan when the time was safe, but…well….”
The tears poured over and streamed down my face. I didn’t know how much I needed to hear her story. I’d made up my mind about everything, convinced myself that those I loved were a bunch of selfish liars and didn’t care about me at all. But I saw it now, the ultimate sacrifices Tess made for me. I wasn’t robbed of life; I was given one.
I flung my arms around her, and she embraced me tightly. “I love you.”
We sat for a while, wrapped in one another’s trembling arms under a blanket of stars, tears soaking our shoulders. Eventually, I pulled away and wiped my face.
“Thank you.”
Tess smiled. “I just want you to know that I have no regrets. I would do it all again if given a chance. Again and again. Because you’re what matters most to me in this world, Avery. No duty, no title will ever change that.”
A teary laugh gurgled in my throat. “I think your husband might have something to say about that.”
She rolled her eyes. “You let me worry about Kheelan.”
I always admired my aunt. She was brave and funny and raised me all on her own. I grew up wanting to be just like her because she was everything I thought a person should be. But I had a new level of respect, even love, for her now that I knew the full story, knew all that she had done and would still do in the name of what she loved.
A strange sense of purpose rose within me.
“I want to help,” I blurted without thinking, and she looked at me curiously. “With the Therians, with Nightmares. I’ll do what I can, but I can’t make any promises. Oden’s like a vault. He doesn’t share things with me.”
“If you spend enough time there, he will. Trust me.”
“Well, our bargain is only good until I’ve learned enough,” I told her. “And I’ve already got a good handle on my powers.” I flexed my hands, my magic purring in response as I thought of the other bargain. The one he’d made with my mother.
“I’m glad to see.” Something like regret flashed in her eyes, but her smile whisked it away. She patted my lap as she stood. “Well, I should be getting back before I have the whole guard out here looking for me.”
I grabbed her hand. “Tess, are…are you okay here?”
She tilted her head and laughed, squeezing my fingers. “I’m where I’m needed now. I’ve done all I can for you. Those years, those precious days we spent together, it was a gift. For both of us.” She let go of my hand. “And now it’s time for us to decide which path our lives will take. Regardless, mine will always be entwined with yours. Never forget that.”
I stared up at her with glossy eyes. “I love you.”
“I love you, too. Goodnight.”
“Night,” I replied as she turned and headed back to the castle. Her robe trailed behind her.
I sat outside all night with a blanket of the brightest stars I’d ever seen as I thought of the heir. It wasn’t me, but I had a sibling out there somewhere. A brother. Did he look like me? Did he know who he was? If no one else had been able to find him, what hope did I ever have?
And I thought of Oden's bargain with my mother for her first-born daughter. Would she have made it if she knew I was alive? Did it mean I belonged to him in some way? Is that why he could manipulate my own magic?
When the sun cracked the horizon, I headed back to my quarters and woke Julie up before we headed back home. My mind was filled with questions that would never have answers.