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“It’s the big blue house on the corner, right across the street from Karsen,” I tell Slade for the third time. He knows and he grits his teeth to keep from biting my head off I’m sure.
And he does this because that’s just how great of a boyfriend he is. I realize it more and more every day.
“Are you sure she’s home?” Karsen whispers. She acts like we broke in. It’s my house I have every right to come back to it. Not to mention my father let me know as soon as I stepped foot in Georgia my mother was welcoming me with open arms if I would let her.
Slade opens my door and offers up his hand. I take it and fall into him holding on for dear life. My legs won’t work the way I want them to.
“For the last time are you sure you don’t want to wait until tomorrow to come here?” He scratches his head staring up at my old fashioned porch with the porch swing.
“We could have sex on the porch swing,” I inform him climbing the stairs. I fall back into Slade’s arm and grab hold of the railing trying my hardest to get up the steps again.
“That’s not the kind of impression I am looking to set when I meet your mother for the first time.”
I look around ignoring him, much of everything is the same as I remember. I drop to my knees and lift the tiny ceramic squirrel. The one I bought for my mother when I was young and stupid. It was still sitting on our porch in the same spot.
I let it go shattering it at my feet and go for the porch swing. “Come sit with me.”
Slade drops down and starts to pick up my mess. “Why did you do that?”
I shrug and push my feet against the railing to get the swing moving. “Maybe I wanted it to break.” I didn’t it fell out of my hands.
“Didn’t you say your mom was dating the karate instructor?”
“Yes.”
“Well, what if he hears you down here and I have to kill him for attacking us?” Slade grins when I do and settles in beside me. “This would be a great place to have sex.”
I nod. “So what are we waiting for?”
“I’m not having sex with you right now.” He playfully shoves me and stares off into the night. “I’ve never seen you so wasted before.”
“Are you mad at me?” I cross my arms waiting to hear the worst.
“No, but I am worried about you,” he says, he puts his arm around me and pulls me close.
I bite down on my lip thinking about what to say next. I am tired of reassuring everyone around me I am alright. I don’t know if I am or if I will be ever again. So much has changed it’s hard to swallow anymore.
“I don’t know if I want to go in,” I admit. “Maybe we should just go over to Karsen’s house. I’m sure she’s up raiding the refrigerator.”
“Whatever you want to do,” Slade tells me.
I close my eyes and get more comfortable under his arm. He’s all the warmth and safety I need. And before I know it I fall asleep.