Damion
“LOOK ALIVE, Fighter.”
Damion rolled off the bed and stood up straight, keeping his mouth shut, even though he wanted to tell the man to go to hell. He tried to look past Collins, hoping to see Requiem.
Requiem was brought in by two men. They were not the same men who had taken him away. They held him up on either side by his arms. His head was bowed and his toes dragged heavily even as he attempted to walk. Damp hair plastered his head, shaping paler than usual skin, which was saying something. The lieutenant followed behind, his lips pursed in a frown as he kept sharp eyes on Damion. He flicked his chin to Collins and then the door.
“Remember what I said,” Collins shot a look full of pity at Damion as he saluted the lieutenant and then left. The two others took Requiem to the capsule, lifting him roughly into the pod before letting him slump back. His ice blue eyes were glazed and only half-open as the men left him and went out the door.
Damion rushed to Requiem’s side and pulled him forward into a sitting position. “What did they do? Are you okay?”
Requiem blinked blearily at Damion. His arms were limp at his sides, and a bruise colored the bend of one arm with a trickle of blood still trailing down. His skin was chilled and damp, and the pads of his fingers appeared wrinkled, signifying he had been submerged for a long time.
“I am acceptable, but weary” was all Requiem said, his voice monotone, cold, and husky as if it had been misused at length.
“Fuck.” Damion picked him up carefully and carried him to the bed. “You look like shit. Have you even eaten in the last few hours? I bet you haven’t.”
Requiem had wilted. It was obvious he didn’t have control over his muscles yet.
“My stomach was emptied for the procedure, so no, I have not. I am not in need of sustenance at this time. If you wish me to, I will consume my rations.”
“You’re back to talking like a machine.” Damion sighed as he wrapped Requiem up in all the blankets he owned and leaned him back against the pillows. “I’ll get you some water. If you haven’t had anything in your stomach for a while, you might get sick if we push it.”
“As you wish,” Requiem replied. “I would also be quite acceptable in my capsule if you do not prefer me in your sleeping space.” His voice was weary and his eyes still half-open. He looked content to remain on the surface of the bed.
“You really are acting different.” Damion hated both himself and Collins for being right. “You know I want you with me. Don’t you remember what we were doing here less than a day ago?”
Requiem blinked very slowly, and Damion could almost see the gears working in his mind. “I do apologize, but I do not have much recollection for a segment of time ranging for approximately two weeks. I have retained some pieces, but a significant portion is not present.”
“What?” Damion’s voice rose. “How can they do that?”
Requiem blinked again through soggy strands of hair, his head tilting slightly in the familiar birdlike motion, except jerkily this time, like an unoiled robot. “How can who do what, sir?”
Damion punched the air above and in front of him, fighting off the very men in his mind who had done this to them. The moment his fists stopped moving, he screamed, his voice cracking in the process, “Take away your memories!”
“I am not privileged to that information,” Requiem said, starting to tremble despite the layers of blankets around him.
“It can’t be permanent. Maybe it’s a side effect?” Damion asked Requiem, struggling to keep hope alive inside himself.
“I am concluding that you mean a side effect of my procedure. I do not know.”
Requiem wasn’t able to keep his head up anymore and let it fall back against the wood of the recessed bookshelf with a low thunk.
“Requiem….” Damion sighed and pulled him more centrally onto the bed and tucked him in tightly. Once finished, he sat on the edge, hands folded and dangling between his knees, thinking and trying to control his urge to find the person responsible and commit homicide.
Then it dawned on him.
He was the one responsible for everything going on at the moment. He was the one who pushed Requiem to eat real food instead of his rations, and he was the one who initiated sex that Requiem actually enjoyed.
It was his fault.
Requiem finally seemed to stop shivering, and perhaps it wasn’t just because of the blankets but because of Damion’s presence. Requiem watched him through hooded eyes for a few moments.
“You do not seem completely acceptable, and I hypothesize that it is because I do not have the knowledge you require. Is there anything that I might do to assist you?”
Damion sighed, rubbing his face as he tried to hide his despair. “Just go to sleep. I can only pray you remember everything when you wake up.”
“I have displeased you. I apologize.”
Requiem’s mechanical tone was softer in repentance. Slowly, and with obvious effort, he sat up and struggled out of the blankets before moving off the bed and shakily walking toward his pod. Despite Damion’s insistence that he wanted Requiem to sleep in the bed, Requiem seemed almost compelled not to. His eyes glazed again as he wobbled across the room.
“Where in Hades are you going?” Damion asked, more than a little pissed off as he watched his Core—or the person who used to be his Core, because the man in front of him was just a shell.
With visible effort to keep himself on his feet, Requiem turned around to look at Damion. “You ordered me to go to sleep. I am required to use my capsule to do so.”
“No, you don’t. You’ve slept in my bed for almost a month. Now get back into bed and sleep.” Damion tried to control his temper, to remind himself that it wasn’t Requiem’s fault that he was like this. Damion couldn’t take his fury out on the exhausted man. So he added a “Please.”
Requiem merely stood there for a moment, beginning to tremble. He looked to be fighting an internal battle that had him panting with effort. His eyes squeezed shut, jaw clenched, as he fought the compulsions placed upon him. Slowly, carefully, shakily, he took a step back toward the bed.
“Stubborn fool, even brainwashing you doesn’t change that,” Damion said fondly as he stood and picked up Requiem once again, dropping him back into bed with a little less finesse than usual. He began to wrap Requiem in the blankets, cocooning him in soft warmth. “Stay.”
Requiem was still breathing heavily. The sweat on his body was just making him shudder, and his skin looked feverish as he watched Damion with heavy-lidded, exhausted eyes. “Was ordered by you to stay. Was ordered by the Creators to jack in. I will admit I do not know what to do.”
“You’re supposed to listen to me. You’re my Core.” Damion looked at Requiem straight on, his stern expression allowing no resistance to his orders. “Let me deal with those assholes. They’ve had you jacked in for hours already.”
Suddenly Requiem’s pale hand was out from under the blankets, fingers held gently against Damion’s lips. He was fighting another internal battle, and it showed in his eyes, his teeth chattering as he spoke. “I r-request that you do not s-speak of anything that you wish not to be repeated back to the Creators.”
“I can’t even trust you not to tell them everything now?” Damion’s voice was filled with hatred, and then immediately it changed to overwhelming sorrow. “Where did you go? Are you even still in there?” He spoke in a soft, broken voice as he finally realized that Collins had been telling him the complete truth—Requiem was different. More 47 than Requiem now.
Requiem’s gaze met Damion’s tortured one. “I do not know how to properly answer that question” was all he could reply verbally. However, tears gathered and slipped down his cheeks. Just a few before they ceased, seemingly never noticed by Requiem. His mind and what he could say, what he could remember, were wrapped in chains, binding who he truly was.
“I’m sorry. Just get some rest.” Damion gently brushed the wet cheek with a slightly trembling hand. “I’m sure you’ve been through hell.”
“There is no need for you to apologize. It is my lack of information that is at fault.” Requiem slipped farther into the blankets, letting the warmth wrap around him, dragging him toward the abyss. “As you order.”
“As I order,” Damion mumbled as he watched his Core—his lover—slip into oblivion.
What the hell was he going to do? Everything they had just gone through was wiped. Everything. A part of him still felt the need to lash out.
His pondering was interrupted by an insistent banging on the door to his quarters. “Damion! You in there? Fuck, man, answer the damn door!” a familiar voice demanded, tinged with fear and worry.
Damion went to the door and flung it open. “Stop screaming! Gods, you’re worse than a yowling cat.”
“Well, if you had seen Security guarding your best friend’s door for most of the day, you’d be howling like a cat too,” Juni spat uncharacteristically, quickly walking into the room past Damion and then whirling around to meet him eye to eye. “What in the gods’ names happened?”
“They took him.” Damion quickly closed the door and waved a hand toward the occupied bed. “They took him, wiped him clean, and now, now he’s back to the way it was when we first met. He doesn’t remember anything.”
Juni’s gaze took in the sleeping figure in the bed before looking back to Damion with a stunned expression.
“Fuck. I mean… shit…. Shit.” Juni couldn’t manage to articulate more than that, running his fingers through his hair. “What do you mean by anything? You mean everything or…? And why did they take him? It just doesn’t make any sense.”
“I don’t know. They just showed up.” Damion sat down on the foot of the bed almost bonelessly, looking at the ground without truly seeing it. “All I can think of is that when he jacked in last night they somehow found out. They said they knew he had a dream. Knew he hadn’t been taking his full ration of supplements.”
Grabbing a chair, Juni dragged it to sit in front of him. “He dreamed? 108 hasn’t done that and he hasn’t been taking the supplements as frequently either. Although he also jacked in last night.” Juni was quiet for a moment before shrugging slightly. “I know it’s a pain in the ass, but can you just start from the beginning again? He’s bound to remember something eventually.”
Damion pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, which were burning with the threat of tears. “From the beginning? Fuck, Juni, it took months for me just to….”
Juni didn’t push him to complete that sentence. “So what are you going to do? What are your other options?” he asked quietly, trying not to disturb Requiem’s sleep. “I know if it was 108, I’d be goin’ fuckin’ insane right now, trying to figure this shit out.”
“I fucking don’t know, okay?” Damion’s hands clenched over his forehead. “I’ve been warned that if it fucking happens again, I’ll be dishonorably discharged. They’ll take him and plug him into the main system!”
Juni looked at him with his mouth open wide for a moment before it shut with a click of his teeth. Cursing under his breath, he stood and began pacing. “And if you find a way to take him away, they’ll just find you both.” He was silently saying Damion was damned either way. “Well fuck, D. You’re the smarter one out of the both of us, and if we can’t figure this out, we’re screwed.” He turned to Damion before he could protest. “And yes, I meant both of us. I’m not letting you deal with this shit alone. Not only are you my best friend, but eventually they’ll come after 108 and I just…. That can’t happen. I’m sorry, Damion.”
“If they haven’t picked up 108 yet, maybe there is something he’s doing differently when he goes into the capsule, and maybe that can help us.” Damion was thinking out loud, reaching for anything that might help his situation. “But you can’t get involved. I’m sure they’re already watching you and him closer now as well, since we’re known to hang together.”
“I’ll talk to 108, see what he can tell me, but the hell with just abandoning you and 47! I don’t care if they know we hang out together. I’m not going to just desert you guys, and I know 108 will feel the same,” Juni insisted.
“We can’t trust him.” Damion looked toward his sleeping Core. “Requiem… he said that everything I say to him would get reported back to them. I don’t know how long that will last or if he can even fight it.”
Juni was silent for a moment, pity and anger apparent in his normally jovial features. “The fact that he was able to warn you is proof enough that he’s trying to fight whatever sick fucking compulsions they put on him.” Juni’s gaze flickered to Requiem, who was in a deep sleep. “Maybe you can’t trust what you say around him, but always trust that he’ll be fighting. I’ve seen that in him more so than 108. 108 was beaten down over time, but 47, he’s always been a fighter.”
“108 had Arkin, that would be hard for any Core to recover from, and I still don’t understand why they let that man have a Core to begin with.” Damion ran his fingers through his short hair. “I just don’t know what to do or where to start.”
“I really don’t have any advice for you there, man. You know 47 better than anyone, so only you would know how to bring him out. But then you have the problem of still needing him to eat the sludge. It has to be a balance of getting his personality back but not the emotions that would trigger the scientists noticing.” Juni shrugged. “I’ll help you any way I can, but I don’t envy you figuring that out.”
“I don’t envy the reflection you have to put up with every day in the mirror,” Damion muttered with a small smirk.
“Here I am! Offering you whatever help I can, and you go and insult me? See if I ever offer you anything ever again.” Juni rolled his eyes and shook his head before pausing. Then “Wait a minute…. Requiem?”
“Hm? Oh, nothing.” Damion got up and tried to think of something quick to change the subject. “I need a stiff drink.”
“If that’s what it takes to make you explain why you named your Core, and Requiem of all things, then get completely plastered,” Juni stated dryly while watching him. “And make me one while you’re at it.”
Damion went over to his fridge, picking out the last of his beers. “Look, I don’t know why I did, I just did. And so what if I did?”
Juni put up his hands in a placating gesture before taking the offered beer. “Hey, I’m not judging. Just curious.”
“I just can’t see them as computers. I mean I can, but not him.” Damion sat heavily back down on the end of the bed. “Do you love 108?”
Juni nearly sprayed his beer all over Damion but managed to just cough as he choked on it instead. “Do I what?”
“My guard said that if I named him, then that meant I loved him, but I don’t know, man.” Damion frowned at the few beer droplets that had managed to get free, covering his shirt and part of his arms.
Juni stared at him a long second before turning contemplative. “What I feel for 108… well, I’ve never really experienced true love in that way, I suppose. I have love for my parents and others, but not romantically. But I guess yeah, I love 108 in a way. I don’t really know what that way is yet, but I guess it’s love.”
“We can’t run, but I need to find a way to get Requiem back to normal. I can’t treat him like a robot, but now I can’t even treat him like….” Damion tossed back the last of his beer.
Rubbing his face, Juni sighed. “Can’t even treat him like what?”
Damion frowned. “Like the person I took to bed just hours ago, because they locked that part of him away.”
“Just because it’s locked away doesn’t mean it’s not there,” Juni replied with a shrug and then a swig of his beer. “If you treat him differently, if 47 is still in there somewhere—which I’m sure he is—perhaps treating him different will just make it harder for him to be himself again. It may make him bury it further.”
“How did things get so fucked up so quickly?” Damion scratched the back of his head in frustration.
“Because it hit you like a brick.” Juni finished his beer and threw the bottle in the trash with a clank. “How the hell were we supposed to know this could happen? We thought the Cores were ours, not something that could be taken away or changed so easily.”
“I should have known better. The Corp owns every part of the explored galaxy. Their ownership includes the Cores and people such as you and me.” Damion shook his head again. “He warned me.”
“Who warned you? 47?” Juni frowned in confusion.
“He said that they would know if he wasn’t taking his supplements, but we had stopped those before we left for leave, so I thought….” Damion wasn’t sure what he thought. “I guess it was the dream.”
“They never really stopped,” Juni mumbled as he chewed on his thumbnail. “I know both he and 108 were still eating at least a cup of the stuff a day when we were on leave. 108 still does, but I wonder if 47 stopped for some reason.”
“I-I don’t know.” Damion realized he hadn’t been paying attention. His stomach knotted, and a torpedo of guilt hit him square in the chest. “I’ll ask him when he wakes up.”
“I hate to ask, but will he remember?” Juni inquired around his thumbnail, his expression pained.
“I… don’t… know,” Damion said again. “Guess it doesn’t matter now. I’ll just have to find a way around it or deal with him being a robot.”
Juni stood, putting the chair back by the table. “My only suggestion right now is to have faith in 47. He’s tougher than you think, but he’s going to need your help in whatever way you can.” Juni squeezed Damion’s shoulder tightly. “Get some sleep. I’ll talk to 108 and see if he can help at all.”
“Thanks, Juni.” Damion gave his friend—his closest and only friend on this fucking ship—a smile. “Ask 108 to look up a guy named Collins too. He’s ex-Alpha.”
“Ex-Alpha? That must be an interesting story. Will do. Get some rest, and I’ll hopefully have some info for you tomorrow before patrol.” Juni waved a hand over his shoulder as he left.
Damion watched him leave, feeling alone even with Requiem behind him. He wasn’t sure how long Requiem would rest, but hoped when he awoke, things would be better.