The storm came on swiftly once night had fallen. The wind became stronger and colder, seeming to blow right through Ellan’s bones. The fluffy white tufts of snow from earlier became denser with every hour that passed until it seemed they trudged through walls of snow. She had hoped that it would be enough to keep the exhaustion creeping over her at bay, but after what seemed like endless hours of riding, she felt her eyelids drooping. Once she woke up to the sensation of falling and opened her eyes, expecting to see the ground rushing up to meet her. Instead, she managed to catch herself on the saddle just as a strong hand pressed to her back.
She thought he only meant to right her, but large hands grasped her waist just below her ribcage and lifted. ‘You’re too tired to ride alone.’ Aevir’s deep voice reached her through the wind.
‘Nay, I can stay awake,’ she said, even though she wasn’t entirely certain she could. The colder she became, the more exhausted she felt.
He made a rough sound in the back of his throat and brought her on to his bay, opening the cloak wrapped around his shoulders. She mumbled another protest and meant to stiffen away from the welcome embrace of his arms, even as she snuggled close to his warmth and he enfolded her in the fur. The feeling of peace and well-being that immediately washed over her was unexpected, but it shouldn’t have been. This had been the way between them from the beginning. When she was with him, she felt like she was home. Secure. Despite her best intentions, she pressed her face to the hollow where his neck met his chest and breathed him in.
After he finished tying her horse’s reins to his saddle, he tightened his arms around her. His mouth pressed into the hair at the top of her head as he said, ‘Sleep. I have you.’
His chest was as hard as his arms. Sleeping on him shouldn’t have been comfortable, but it was and her eyelids started drooping almost immediately. When she meant to sit up, her body somehow melded into his, moulding itself to the hard plains and ridged muscle. He was so much more comfortable than he should have been that she went back to sleep.
The world was white when she woke up again a little while later. The falling snow was so dense that she could barely make out the other warriors. Aevir’s large hand pressed her shoulder, holding her tight against him. ‘We must stop for a bit. The snow is too heavy.’
She realised that they had come to a stop and that’s what had woken her. ‘Where are we?’
‘Still far away from Alvey. A day. More at this pace. We split with the others a short while back.’
They were in another forest, though the only forest they had passed through since Tolan took her from Banford was the one in which Aevir had found them. ‘Are we lost?’
Fixing her with a grim smile, he shook his head and said, ‘We’re not lost. We’ve strayed from the path to take shelter in the trees.’
Unravelling her from his cloak, he made certain she was stable before dismounting. Oleif seemed to come from nowhere to wrap his meaty hand around the reins as Aevir reached up to lift her down. She could barely make out the shadow of his large frame in the darkness.
‘Take care of the horses,’ Aevir said to him as he lifted her down. ‘I’ll prepare the tents.’
Aevir untied a rolled-up bundle of canvas from the back of his saddle as Ander took the one from Oleif’s horse. Oleif walked away with the horses, but she had no idea what he meant to do with them.
‘What can I do?’ she asked.
‘Hold this.’ Aevir pressed a bundle into her arms. ‘I need to make a place in the snow.’
The tent was heavier than expected, but she didn’t let that show as she followed him. Even in the darkness he was striking. The fur draped over his wide shoulders and fell down to the top of his boots, emphasising the power in his frame. He took the large knife from his hip and knelt beneath the low limbs of a fir where he hacked off the entire bottom row on one side. Then he went to another nearby and repeated the action until he had several large boughs in a pile. Working quickly, he used one to scrape away the layer of snow that had only just begun to accumulate beneath the one of the trees. The white powder was much deeper out in the open, already coming up to her ankles.
Taking the bundle of canvas from her, he unrolled it to reveal two small stakes inside. He drove those into the ground he had cleared and then tied the canvas to it. The other ends of the canvas he tied to the limbs, making certain to leave enough at the edges so that it hung down to make a shelter. Understanding his intention now, she hurried to help Ander at the other tree, picking up a bough and sweeping the snow away as Aevir had done beneath the fir. He murmured his thanks as he came over and they worked together to get it set up.
With both the makeshift tents set up, Aevir urged her inside one and went off to wherever Oleif and the horses were. It was so dark beneath the canvas that she could barely see her hand in front of her, but at least it protected her from the snow and wind. It was still cold even with her fur, so she sat with her back against where a length of canvas fell against the trunk of the tree and brought her knees to her chest. She hoped that Aevir would build a fire, but she couldn’t figure out how he would be able to do it. There was no way for the smoke to escape and it couldn’t be safe to have a flame so close to the trees.
He ducked in under the canvas a few moments later, snow coating his hair and the fur cloak. He shook himself off as best he could before lowering the edge of the material and moving over to her. If he lay down flat the tent would probably barely contain him. It was impossible to stand inside the low structure. Even sitting, he had only about a hand’s length of space between his head and the top.
As soon as he got close to her, he said, ‘You’re freezing.’
Since he couldn’t see her that well, she assumed it was the chattering of her teeth that gave her away. ‘Only a little.’ She tried to make it sound light-hearted, but knew that she failed. Before she could protest or even decide if being close to him was a good idea for her peace of mind, he scooped her up and took her place against the tree. Settling her on his lap, he wrapped his fur around both of them.
‘Better?’ he whispered.
She nodded as his warmth seemed to find its way into her bones. Not even bothering to deny herself a moment longer, she opened her fur and wrapped her arms around him, flattening her torso against his chest. He made that sound she loved deep in his throat and held her tighter. She told herself it was strictly for warmth, but the pleasure she felt at being held by him was a nice advantage.
‘Aren’t you cold?’ she asked because it seemed that she was the only one affected by the weather.
He shifted, his face finding her hair, and then his nose touched her temple. ‘What do you think?’
It felt like ice and she gasped. He chuckled and moved it away from her skin while still resting his cheek against her hair.
As she began to thaw, she contemplated how impressed she was at his ability to keep them safe. ‘How do you always know what to do?’
‘This isn’t my first time being caught in a snowstorm.’
It was more than experience. He was always so capable, seeming to know what action each situation called for. His ability to take control was one of the things she had noticed and respected about him from the start. ‘But do you ever...make a mistake?’
He took a moment to think before saying, ‘That depends. Are you hungry?’
She had been too cold and tired to think about food, but now that he mentioned it she realised that she could eat. Aside from the stale bread Tolan had offered her, she hadn’t had much to eat since leaving Banford. ‘Aye, I am.’
There was humour in his voice when he said, ‘Then I am sorry to tell you that I left the food with Oleif and Ander.’
They both laughed and he made to rise, attempting to set her aside, but she held on to him tight. ‘Nay, I’m not that hungry. Warmth is more important.’ His arms settled about her again. ‘Unless you need food. What am I thinking? Of course you need food—you’re still recovering and I’m sitting on your leg!’ How could she have forgotten? She was probably hurting his injury this whole time. She made to rise, but he tightened his hold on her.
‘You weigh nothing. Besides, the way you’re sitting, you’re not even touching my thigh.’ He was right. Her bottom was on his right thigh while her knees were up towards her chest, keeping her feet on the ground and her weight off his left thigh. ‘I ate a bit while we rode and you slept. I’ll be fine. You’re still shivering.’
‘I’m still cold.’ Though it wasn’t nearly as bad as before. She didn’t feel like she was on the verge of becoming an icicle any more.
Running his hands up and down her back and arms, he said, ‘We have to warm you better.’ Gently setting her away from him, he reached between them and tugged up the edges of his tunic and undershirt. Unfortunately, it was too dark to see him, but she could remember well the taut planes of his stomach. The little freckle that was to the left of his navel.
‘What are you doing?’ She didn’t know how she had breath to ask the question because her chest had seized.
‘Sharing the heat from my body. You’ll get warmer without your clothing and the fur between us.’ The clothing came off over his head and he rolled it into a bundle and set it aside. ‘Do you need me to help you?’ His fingers went to her dress.
‘Nay.’ Self-preservation made her cross her arms over her chest. ‘We can’t do whatever it is you’re thinking.’
‘I’m only thinking of warmth. Your skin on mine is the best way.’
‘Something tells me that Oleif and Ander aren’t skin to skin right now in their tent,’ she said, her gaze unable to leave the silhouette of his naked chest.
A breath of laughter escaped him. ‘What Oleif and Ander do for warmth is none of our concern. Hurry. I’m very cold.’ He was half-nude in the frigid night air. The tent blocked the wind, but did nothing for the cold. ‘You can turn away from me if it makes you feel better. I swear I’ll not touch you if it’s not your wish.’
Her heart thundering in her ears, she turned away and began to unfasten her clothing. She really didn’t believe this was some ruse of his to get her nude. The source of her hesitation was that she didn’t trust herself to lie with him like that and not feel things better left alone. She was already having trouble finding her anger from earlier.
When the ties were loosened his hands came out to help her pull it all off over her head. ‘What of my leggings?’
‘Leave them.’ His tone was matter of fact as he rolled the clothing into a bundle and laid it next to his at one end of the tent. Putting one of the furs on the ground, he lay on it and rested his head on one of the bundles and beckoned for her to follow him.
Even though he couldn’t possibly see her very well in the dark, she kept her arms crossed over her chest as she lay down next to him. She rolled on to her side away from him and he wrapped the fur they were lying on around them and then brought her fur over them. When he had finished his arm found her beneath the layers and pulled her back, flush against his chest and into the cradle of his hips and thighs.
She lay there, barely able to draw breath as his warmth seeped into her once again.
‘You’ll be warmer if you face me,’ he suggested.
‘Nay.’ That intimacy was out of the question.
The hair on his chest rasped against her back in a way that was quite pleasant. His breath warmed her ear and his large hand splayed over her belly, fingertips ending just below her right breast. He’d been right that this was warmer. Soon she stopped shivering, but it only made her more aware of him. The tips of her breasts had drawn into tight points and while, aye, it was very cold, that didn’t explain why they ached for his touch. With her body warm, heat had begun to burn low in her belly, beneath the heel of his hand. She shifted, restlessly searching for a way to stop thinking about him when she felt him hard and thick beneath his trousers. Her eyes opened wide as she froze and tried to bite back the answering arousal that pulsed through her.
‘I cannot seem to control myself when I’m with you,’ he whispered.
In the next instant there was a breath of space between them there. She was surprised at how much she regretted that he’d moved away. Want and need throbbed deep down where she had never felt such things until him.
‘Are you warmer?’ he asked.
‘Aye.’ The furs bound them so tightly together there wasn’t a bit of space between them except for where he’d pulled his hips back from hers. She was warmer than she’d ever thought she could be caught out in a snowstorm.
‘Do you...want to dress?’ His voice held a smoky husk that curled its way inside her.
‘Nay.’ She wanted to turn in his arms and let him show her the things their bodies could do together. It would be too unwise. If she felt this strongly for him now, it would only be worse afterwards. Did it even matter any more? Was it even possible to feel more in love with him?
‘Aevir?’
‘Ellan.’
She had promised herself that she wouldn’t ask him. It would be torture to lie beside him during the storm and know that he was rejecting her again. Still. She had to know. ‘What did you mean when you said that you had changed your mind? Did you...did you mean about your marriage?’
He was silent for a time. She breathed in and out in small breaths as she waited, certain that what he said would hurt her.
‘You should rest. We’ll talk tomorrow.’
She turned in his arms before she could even think about what she was doing. ‘Nay. Tell me.’
He leaned over her and she tried not to notice how her breasts were pressed to him. Did he notice? In the darkness she could see the shape of his head and the shadowing where his eyes were. His fingers came up to cup her cheek. ‘What I feel for you belies all reason, all hope for sanity. It’s mad and it’s consuming and I can’t fight it any more. Worse, even if I left you and went away to some far corner of the world, you would still be here.’ Raising up slightly, he let go of her to bring his hand between them and thump his chest. Then he settled over her again, his heart beating so close to hers. ‘I will never be rid of you, Ellan. Never.’
A lump formed in her throat. Afraid to hope any more, she asked, ‘What does that mean? Do you want to be rid of me?’
‘It means that I love you.’ His fingertips caressed her lips in a featherlight touch and moved up to the curve of her cheek.
A wave of happiness washed through her, but it was immediately followed by wariness. She was afraid that she couldn’t be with him the way he wanted any more than he could be with her the way she wanted him. ‘I still won’t be your concubine.’
He pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth. ‘Nay, I was wrong to think that could be enough. Be my wife.’
She gasped and he took her bottom lip between his. ‘What about Lord Vidar? Your marriage?’
Raising up so that his breath brushed across her cheek as he spoke, he said, ‘Please know that I did not turn my back on you with Tolan. I had planned to escort you and find proof of his treachery. I never would have allowed the marriage to go through, even without that proof. I had already made up my mind on that point.’ He took a deep wavering breath and she braced herself for what would come next. It didn’t seem as if it would be good. ‘The Jarl won’t like my choice, but I won’t go through with the marriage to Annis. He is a reasonable and honest man, and I will appeal to him and am prepared to accept his punishment. But you should know there is a chance that we will have to leave Alvey. Will you do that? Will you come with me?’
She embraced him and he eased himself down over her, his arms sliding around her waist as he buried his face in her hair. ‘Aye, I’ll go with you.’
‘You’ll be my wife?’
‘Aye,’ she whispered, closing her eyes to enjoy the feel of his mouth on her ear, her throat. Could it really be this easy now?
When he realised she wasn’t responding, he raised his head a bit. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing... I’m happy...it’s only...’
‘Only what?’ He prodded her gently.
‘Why the change of heart?’ She tried to hold back her anger, but the flames licked up her throat and singed her words. ‘Why did you make us suffer only to—?’ She broke off when her throat closed.
‘Oh, Ellan, Ellan.’ He sighed and pressed his forehead to hers. ‘I didn’t trust that our feelings could be so deep so quickly. Even when I suspected they were I was determined to not open myself up to pain again. But I was a fool. It took almost losing you to see that.’
She squeezed her eyes shut and tightened her hold on him. ‘You don’t think you’ll feel differently tomorrow?’
He let out a breath that sounded like a mirthless laugh and cupped her face. ‘Never will I feel differently. I love you. Even if I never saw you again, I would still love you. It’s too late to save myself, if that’s what you’re asking. I can’t risk losing you again.’
It was what she was asking. Would he decide that the risk of loving her was too much once they reached Banford and faced Lord Vidar’s wrath? Would he decide then not to marry her?
‘But what of status and power? You won’t have that with me.’
He shook his head. ‘I’ll find some other way. It may take longer, but if it means that you will be there by my side, the wait will be worth it. I only know that I cannot have a future without you in it. You...our life together...our children...our future is more important to me.’
Taking his head between her hands, she whispered, ‘But it’s what you’ve wanted for so long. Can you truly give that up for me?’
He smiled. ‘Ellan, you are worth everything. Land, coin, none of that can replace you. As I rode after you I imagined having those things without you. It was a very real possibility and having them simply didn’t matter to me without having you. I realised that I had used them as a way to prevent myself from ever loving again.
‘You crept in anyway. You hold my heart. Never will I allow you to get away from me. You are mine and I am yours, and it’s been that way since the moment we met.’ His mouth crushed hers and for the first time in days hope trickled in.