Aevir opened his eyes to one of the loveliest visions he’d ever seen in his life. Ellan sat before the hearth with her hair unbound. The thick, dark mass fell down to her waist where it curled slightly at the ends. Firelight picked up gold and red in the silky strands. This was obviously supposed to be a private moment. She only wore her linen underdress, a coarse and unbleached garment, with lacing at the neckline. Those laces were undone so that it dropped down off her shoulders, revealing the creamy expanse of her chest. The peaks of her breasts were dangerously close to being exposed.
When she turned to the side and dipped the cloth in her hand into a bucket of water hanging over the fire, he realised that she was bathing herself and that he should probably let her know that he was awake. He opened his mouth to do that, but fell silent when he noticed that the skirt of the underdress was pulled up to her thighs. Long shapely legs with slim ankles and delicate feet were revealed to him. He wanted to run his palms along their length and feel her silky skin. He imagined hooking his hands in the soft spot behind her knees to spread her wide. There was a shadowed space between her thighs that he longed to have bared to his gaze. An unexpected tightness spread through his groin in response to the thought.
The fire hissed as she withdrew the cloth and drops of water sloshed over the side. Her slender hands wrung it out and brought it to her chest. A sound he didn’t recognise escaped him as she tugged the underdress down further, exposing the lovely mounds of her breasts. They were smallish and set high on her chest, the dusky tips taut as she stroked them with the cloth. His mouth watered as he imagined her taking her nipples between her thumb and forefinger and squeezing gently like he wanted to do. Would she cry out? He wanted to be there kneeling before her, one hand on her breast, the other between her thighs. His mouth somewhere in between. The pulsing ache in his manhood made him clench his fists in the bedding.
He made a strangled sound of longing and closed his eyes against the temptation she presented. Physically he wasn’t able to act on his urges. Each surge of primal heat that coursed through his body brought with it a pulsation of pain. But it was more than his injuries keeping him away from her. Duty and her own rejection each played a significant part.
‘Aevir!’ She must have heard him. Her voice was filled with alarm as she shuffled around in the main room.
He imagined her setting her dress to rights and tossing the cloth into the bucket. There was a scuffling as she put her feet into her shoes before her hurried steps carried her to his side in the alcove. He had awakened to her face countless times. Each time she would press a drink to his parched lips, or draw a cool cloth across his face. Once he’d awakened to see the back of her head as she worked to change the bandage on his leg. The pain had been intense, but all he could think was that the back of her head was nearly as pretty as the front of it.
‘Are you in pain?’ She stared down at him with wide eyes.
He nearly laughed at her question. ‘Everything hurts.’
His head pounded, his left shoulder ached, his back felt stiff and sore, his bandaged thigh burned like it was on fire, an ankle felt swollen, and somehow amid all that misery his shaft was able to throb with his need for her. And, of course, he was naked beneath the blanket which only worked to encourage the appendage.
‘I have more ale for you.’ She reached for the familiar pitcher on the table beside the bed, but he touched her wrist to stop her.
‘Nay, no more ale.’ His tongue was swollen and awkward in his mouth as he spoke. ‘I already feel as if I have cobwebs for brains.’
She gave him a reluctant nod and reached out to touch his forehead with cool fingers. ‘The fever passed early this morning, and so far it doesn’t seem to be coming back. I’ll get you some water.’
She made to move away, but his question gave her pause. ‘How long have I been here?’
‘The battle was three days ago. By the time I arrived, you were burning up and writhing in your sleep. We would’ve tied you down, but I was afraid to injure your shoulder even more.’
He glanced down at the linen tied over his chest that held his left arm cradled against his torso. It was the one she said had been dislocated. Thankfully he’d been unconscious when it had been reset. ‘Where am I?’ he asked as he tried to push himself up with his uninjured arm.
She was quick to take her place beside him on the bed and give him support as he moved. The position caused her soft breasts to press against his arm. He closed his eyes as he remembered what they looked like uncovered. Creamy with pink tips. Clearing his throat to snap himself out of the memory, he tried to jerk away from her, but the motion made him sway.
‘Steady,’ she urged in a calm voice. ‘You’re not recovered yet.’ She shoved a rolled-up blanket behind him and put a down-stuffed cushion behind his head so that he could relax in this new position.
‘Water?’ he asked, trying and failing not to look down the front of her underdress where it gaped open as she leaned over him. She had tied the laces before coming to him, but it still hung open enough to give him a glimpse of her soft flesh.
She hurried into the main room, giving him just enough time to make certain that what remained of his erection was hidden with a blanket before she came back with a cup of water. He drank the whole thing eagerly and handed it back to her.
‘Thank you.’ He didn’t want to enjoy her attention, but he couldn’t deny that as she pushed the hair back that had fallen over his forehead his whole body wanted to stretch towards that touch.
Daylight streamed in through somewhere in the main room, but it failed to reach his small alcove. Ellan or someone had brought in a candle tree since he’d last awakened, but of the three tapers only one of them was lit. It was enough to allow him a view of her face and to illuminate the green colour of her eyes. She smiled at him and for the first time he noticed that an eye tooth sat slightly out of alignment. Somehow it lent her smile that mischievous look that he loved about her. It gave her a character that made her beauty more warm than cold. More seductive than she already was.
‘Why am I here?’ Disgusted by his own inability to stop thinking of her in that way, his voice came out gruffer than he intended. Her eyes widened in surprise, so he added in a more reasonable tone, ‘After the battle, I remember they took me to my mat.’
‘I made them move you here. You’re in my home so I can look after you.’
He stiffened. ‘Godric’s home? You brought me to Godric’s?’
She shook her head and pressed her fingers to his uninjured shoulder to keep him from getting up. He tried not to acknowledge her touch on his bare skin. ‘My home. Father still hasn’t been found. This is the bed Elswyth and I shared growing up.’ It was little more than a wooden platform slightly raised off the floor with a straw-filled mattress. ‘Now, promise not to move so that I can go and get you some food. You haven’t eaten in days.’
Despite how long he’d been lying in bed, he was forced to admit that he hadn’t the strength to move anywhere. Even the reluctant nod he gave her made him dizzy. She hurried back to the hearth in the centre of the main room and ladled out some broth from the pot bubbling over the fire, then reached back in with the large spoon to select a few pieces of meat. He wasn’t very hungry, but she was right. He needed to get out of here and to do that he needed food to regain his strength. When she returned and sat beside him again, he realised that she intended to feed him.
‘I can feed myself.’ He was beginning to feel like a favoured pet of hers.
She shook her head, a knowing smirk on her face when she said, ‘While you’re here I get to take care of you.’
The night before leaving Alvey he had both turned down her marriage proposal and offered to take her as his concubine. An offer she had soundly rejected. He had then proceeded to question her and all but accuse her of spying. Why would she now be so invested in his recovery? ‘Why?’
She held a spoonful of the broth up to his lips while wearing a mulish expression. Sighing inwardly at this sign of her stubborn nature, he opened his mouth and took the bite she offered. His effort was rewarded with a brilliant smile.
‘Does it really matter why?’ she asked. ‘You should be glad that I’ve made it my task to see you recovered. When I arrived no one was at your side.’
He knew what she meant. Before the fever had set in, he had a memory of barking orders to his men to leave him alone. In hindsight it probably wasn’t the best decision. Swallowing his pride, he said, ‘I am thankful. Thank you for helping me, Ellan.’
To his surprise, she blushed prettily and ducked her head to fish out a piece of lamb with the spoon. He wanted to ask her if she remembered the moments before he had left Alvey when she had pleaded with him to find her sister. Did she remember how she had come into his arms? She probably did not. She had been so distraught he could have been anyone that morning. She would have pleaded with a stranger to return Elswyth to her.
When she offered the meat, he ate it before asking, ‘Are you helping me because you plan to make a search of my men for a husband? You want my recommendation?’ Some perverse need to drive her away made him ask the question.
She paused to stare at him. ‘What?’ Her lips curved down in disappointment as she busied herself unnecessarily with sorting the meat in his soup, taking each piece with the spoon and shoving it to the side of the shallow bowl. ‘This has nothing to do with that. I simply felt responsible for your condition.’
‘How would you be responsible? Were you secretly among the Scots who attacked?’
She shook her head at his attempt at levity. ‘I made you promise to find Elswyth and bring her back. I thought that perhaps...’ She wouldn’t meet his eyes.
He didn’t realise that he wasn’t breathing until he was forced to take in a breath to ask, ‘Perhaps what?’ Had she perhaps worried about his fate as she worried for her sister?
‘That perhaps you had taken your vow earnestly and were injured while holding to it.’
Her words coupled with the pained look in her eyes made him think that she had indeed worried over him. An uncomfortable pressure rose in his chest. He had taken the vow to heart. The entire ride north he had thought of nothing but bringing Elswyth back to her. It wouldn’t do to let her know how much it had meant to him. It wasn’t even something he wanted to contemplate himself. ‘I was true in my vow, Ellan, but it had nothing to do with my injury. That happened after we had saved her when the Scots retaliated.’
She met his gaze briefly before looking back down at the bowl. ‘Oh.’
Into the unwieldy silence that followed, he said, ‘So you’re relieved of your duty to me.’
‘It’s not a duty.’
‘But you said that you—’
Shaking her head, she said, ‘I know what I said. It wasn’t only the vow that made me want to help you.’ Frustration made her brow furrow and her lips purse. ‘There is a connection between us. I feel that we could be friends and I wanted to help—’
Pushing himself to sit up straighter, he said, ‘Ellan—’ but she held a hand up to stop him from talking.
‘Nay, please. I...I understand the reason you don’t want to m—’ Her mouth dropped open slightly as she only just managed to stop herself from mentioning the proposal she was probably regretting. ‘That is, I understand why you think I shouldn’t marry a fine warrior. I’m a farm girl whose family is suspected of nothing less than treachery. I understand that you think I have nothing to bring to a marriage. I do not plan to pursue the matter with you, if that’s what you’re thinking.’
‘I hadn’t thought that.’
She frowned. ‘Good. Lord Vidar summoned me here. Since I was here and since we are friends and you needed me—help! You needed help—I thought I would...well, help.’
He nodded in acceptance of her reason, but couldn’t decide if he was relieved or disappointed. They could not under any circumstances only be friends. The things he felt for her were too raw and uncertain. However, those feelings weren’t what he was thinking of right now. He couldn’t help but churn over what she had said about not being enough for a warrior. It wasn’t true and he hadn’t realised that’s how he had made her feel. He couldn’t let her go on thinking it.
‘It isn’t true, Ellan. I don’t think you shouldn’t marry a fine warrior.’ His breath pushed out of his lungs with a soft whooshing sound. He wasn’t entirely certain why he had pressed the issue. The answer seemed irrelevant in the face of her obvious shame.
She forced a brave smile, her lips wavering as she struggled to hold it. ‘Perhaps I’ll find a farmer to wed or give in to the Saxon my father wants. I understand that it’s my place, though I’d rather join a nunnery than accept his choice.’
Aevir shook his head, even though it caused a wave of pain to blind him for a moment. Her body tensed as if she might rise, so his hand shot out to press against her thigh. She gasped as she looked down where he touched her, but he couldn’t find the will to remove his hand. ‘You should marry who you want, farmer or warrior. You could marry very well if you choose. Aye, you are the child of a farmer, but you are not without value as a wife.’
She shook her head. ‘Please, Aevir. This isn’t necessary.’
Her thigh tensed under his hand and he forced himself to hold his upright posture though pain spread throughout his body. It worked and she settled back down. ‘Believe me, Ellan. If you believe nothing else I say to you, know this—I am the child of a slave.’
She gasped in disbelief. ‘You’re a great commander. You came to Alvey with at least fifty warriors at your back.’ She shook her head as if she didn’t believe him. In that very moment, it became imperative that she understand they weren’t very different.
‘I was born a slave, though my master...my father freed me just before he died. He was a farmer with five strong sons who had no use for one more. He never acknowledged me, but everyone knew that he was my father. It didn’t matter what they knew, however. When he died I was made to leave my home with no coin or lands of my own.’
She shook her head, as if she still didn’t believe his story to be true. ‘Then how...?’
‘I worked for a time as a labourer, moving from farm to farm to help with harvest. Sometimes I took work on a fishing boat.’
That was how he’d met Sefa. He had taken work on her brother’s boat and had quickly worked his way up in the man’s esteem. It was on a trip to their home when he had met her. She had ignored him at first as she had helped her mother serve their meal. Even the youngest daughter of a farmer had been above his grasp, or so he had thought. He shook himself from the memory and Ellan’s rapt expression came into focus.
‘You see. It doesn’t matter that you’re a farmer’s daughter. Your worth is inside you no matter what station you are born into. I didn’t reject you because of who you are. I rejected you because I’m not free to marry you.’
She was shaking her head as she spoke. ‘I still don’t understand. If what you say is true, how did you come to this?’ Her hand waved out at the room, but he knew she was asking how he’d come to be a warrior Jarl Vidar held in such high regard.
‘I worked. I took every job that was thrown at me no matter how terrible. I was born a slave, but I never felt that way inside.’ Something about her surprised expression made him grin. He liked that he was able to shock her. Even more, he hoped that his past could help inspire the woman he’d known in Alvey. ‘It’s obvious to me that you feel no more a simple farm girl than I felt a slave boy.’
She nodded at that. ‘You’re right. I’ve never felt my place is here.’
‘Then don’t accept that this is your place. It’s not.’
Her gaze darted down to the bowl of stew growing cold in her hand, but she looked back up at him again just as quickly. Their eyes met across the short distance. Something about the confidence blooming inside her reached into him, unfurling warmth in his belly. He clenched his fist against the need to touch her, though her sweet smile nearly undid that resolve.
‘Thank you, Aevir. I knew that I saved you for a reason.’
He chuckled, but it made his head throb and pain lance through his thigh. Leaning back against the bedding as the last wave of pain left him drained, he felt the little strength he’d gathered start to leave his body. Fighting against the sudden urge to sleep, he forced himself to focus on her beautiful face. ‘Go get the Jarl. I plan to make it to the evening meal tonight so that we can—’
‘Hush.’ Shaking her head as she set the stew on the table, she leaned over him again. Her cool palm touched his forehead. ‘Still no fever, but you’re not going anywhere today.’ He opened his mouth to argue, but she had the audacity to cover his lips with her palm. ‘Go to sleep. I’ll watch over you.’
It wasn’t a conscious decision to pacify her. He simply closed his eyes and they failed to open again. But he couldn’t deny how reassuring it was to have her there. Her scent followed him into a deep and dreamless sleep.