The lights were dimmed again. Peter’s playlist blasted through speakers set up around the room. This was my first high school party, but even I knew when a sick song played, over excitement reigned supreme. My arm shot up along with everyone else’s, making waves on the dark dance floor.
“Yeah Anna!” Jenna swirled, waving her arms into a sea of hands, pumping to the beat. She’s drunk and loving it. I laughed at her, but not in a judgmental way, but because I got it and that made me so freaking happy.
I.
Got.
It!
Song after song, my body grew more fearless. After my second cup of special punch, worrying became irrelevant. The only thing that bothered me was a sudden over welling need to pee. I mouthed ‘bathroom’ to Jenna and danced my way off the floor, heading towards the bathroom.
“I’m so drunk.” I chuckled to myself, stumbling down the empty hallway. How come no one else had to pee? I was a newbie to this whole scene and my bladder had much to learn about resilience.
After knocking three times on the bathroom door with nobody answering, I opened it. There was nobody inside and just as I was about to breathe a sigh of relief, a pair of hands nudged me inside.
“Who’s doing that?” I gasped and the door lock snapped closed. I faced my culprit and my heart rate tripled with my eyes connecting with scowling green ones.
Round Two was it?
I gripped the edge of the vanity table. “What do you think you’re doing?”
Instead of answering, James leaned against the door with his strong tanned arms folded across his chest. He glared hard at me, capturing my stare and stalling me from questioning him further.
For a few seconds at least...
“Stop staring at me.” I wasn’t regular Annabelle right now, I was drunk, and drunken Annabelle was about to get loud. The alcohol made me brave. I felt it coursing through my veins, aiding my brain, telling it to tell James to go and screw himself.
“You’ve got a lot of nerve, pushing me in here, locking the door, and you don’t even have the balls to say anything.” I hissed.
“Did you have fun?” James snipped, making me feel like I was being accused.
“Depends, what you mean?” I sneered, wondering if he meant having fun with Dean?
“I saw you.” he accused.
Yep, totally saw me with Dean.
I cocked an eyebrow and jerked my chin at him in defiance. “And?”
“Slow dancing with that pitcher and then letting him touch your face.” James growled, his jaw twitching.
“And?” I pressed, sounding bored.
“On the couch.” he reminded, pointing to the closed door.
“Oh!” I drawled out. “You mean Dean. Yeah, I had a great time connecting with him. We have a lot in common.”
“Oh yeah, like what?” he sneered, sounding like he didn’t believe me. God forbid anyone else be attracted to me.
“Like, we’re both funny, and nice and we’re both cute.” I explained acidly, with a bitter smile.
James’ nostrils flared. “Oh, so you think he’s cute now?”
“Just told you that, didn’t you hear?” I slurred, holding the vanity tighter as my body began to sway slowly to the left. “Besides, why the hell are you interrogating me, you’re the guilty one!”
“Me?” James eyes widened, surprised.
“Yeah, you!” I snapped. “Slow dancing…with Donna!”
“Oh, you caught that.” he said smugly, side smiling like he was so smart.
“I’m not blind, asshole.” I hissed. “You kissed her in front of everyone!”
“Yeah, so I did. I’m allowed to,” he stated arrogantly.
He was allowed to?
I blinked at him, a little stunned.
“Then what the hell am I doing locked in a bathroom with you?” I asked him quietly, slowly.
Silence
“Why did you push me in here?” I continued quietly.
Silence.
After staring at each other for a minute too long, I had to get something off my chest that’s been bothering me for the past two weeks.
“Is this how you treat everyone you share personal stuff with?” I gave him disappointed eyes and kept going. “You told me things…. I told you things… I thought we connected.”
“We did.” he whispered and pushed off the door to stand in front of me.
“Let’s just forget about that night and move on like we don’t know each other.” I sighed, closing my eyes with my head down.
“That’s never going to happen.” He grabbed my shoulder and my head snapped up. “Let’s go out tomorrow.”
“No.” I yanked out of his grasp.
He grabbed me again. “Yes.”
“No.” I snapped, struggling to break free, not that I was trying that hard to break free, considering I was still drunk.
“Yes.” he declared again.
I gave up trying to break free of him and leaned back against the vanity. “Why don’t you go out with Donna tomorrow instead? I’m sure she’d love to go out with you.”
He jerked his chin back, looking confused. “Donna?”
“You made out with her in front of everyone.” I snapped.
“It just happened. She’s been all over me tonight, what was I supposed to do?” he exclaimed, like he had no other option but to concede to her.
“I don’t care.” I clipped, looking away.
“You’re a liar, you care.” he stated, his voice dipping low.
I gazed back at him. “I don’t.”
He scoffed. “You do, otherwise you wouldn’t be this upset.”
“Whatever.” I murmured, rolling my eyes.
Silence
“You like this Dean guy now?” he asked all of a sudden.
“Why do you care?” I murmured, not looking at him.
He delicately tilted my chin upwards so I was looking at him again. “Answer me?”
“I barely know him.” I answered, feeling drained.
James exhaled a relieved breath. “Then go out with me tomorrow.”
I exhaled. “You really don’t like Donna?”
“If I wanted her do you think I’d be in here with you now?” James explained. “And besides whatever that girl’s offering, trust me, I could have had it a hundred times by now.”
“Gross.” I cringed, leaning away as a reflex but he gripped me firmer, stopping me.
He leaned in, looking deep into my eyes. “I didn’t though, that should count for something, right?”
“You didn’t call me for two weeks.” I accused, shaking my head.
“You didn’t call me either,” he reminded.
He was right, I didn’t.
I guess I was just as guilty.
James continued. “And besides…. things were a mess at home.”
“With your dad, again?” I asked, feeling like shit that he had to deal with his dad’s anger.
He nodded slowly and caressed my face, making me feel… feel.
I exhaled deeply. “What do you want from me James?”
“For you to say yes. I care about you,” he declared. “And I’ll never forget that day.”
I stayed silent, but my heart raced like crazy and I knew it wasn’t because I was drunk, it was because of him, right here, in front of me inches away.
“I don’t tell my shit to just anyone,” he explained, staring deep into my eyes. “But, you’re not just anyone and…. don’t you care about me too?”
I nodded slowly.
The truth was spilling out like a volcano erupting, destruction be damned.
“Spend time with me tomorrow?” he asked again.
“Okay.” I exhaled, giving in to him. I wanted whatever ‘this’ was.
He rested his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. “Okay?”
“Yeah, okay.” I answered, closing my eyes too.
James breathed a sigh of relief. “Damn…. Fireball, finally, gave a guy a break.”
I stifled my eager smile. “I wasn’t going to make it easier for you.”
He chuckled lightly. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah,” I exclaimed, giving him a small smile. “How else were you going to learn how to not act like an asshole?”
“Don’t talk like that to me, it turns me on.” He smirked, leaning in to kiss my cheek.
“Shut up.” I murmured, as he pulled his warm lips away and grabbed my hand, kissing the palm, turning my stomach into an aquarium.
“Come here,” he ordered, pulling me into his warm embrace. My face against his firm chest, taking in his cologne, body scent…. everything. I was blaming the alcohol for that one.
“Are you smelling me?” James asked, clearly amused. Then he sighed, sounding content and began chuckling. “You love smelling a God, don’t you? I don’t blame you.”
“Shut up.” I chuckled against him, kicking his leg playfully.
“You look so good tonight.” James murmured into my hair. “You’re so sexy, and nice, and beautiful, and everything. You’re everything.”
“Shut up.” I murmured, burying myself deeper into him, embarrassed at his endless amounts of compliments. He tilted my head back and stared deep into my eyes for a second before they lowered to my lips. I knew what was going to come next.
The kissing.
But as I stared at his beautiful lips, I remembered they were plastered on Donna’s not too long ago.
“I’m sorry.” I let go and pulled back before he could kiss me. “I’m drunk right now.”
“Alright.” James sighed, looking away, clearly frustrated that I didn’t allow things to progress.
I was about to have Donna’s sloppy seconds.
Didn’t he get that?
“I’m not going to kiss you.” I smirked and his eyes widened.
His jaw dropped. “Ever?”
I stifled a smile, trying to be serious. “No, but my lips are not going to touch yours, not when you’ve got some other girl’s lips still on you. If you ever want to kiss me again, your lips better be clean.”
James pretended to think for a second before smiling sneakily. “What about my grandma?”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “What about your grandma?”
“Well, she likes to kiss my entire face, does she count too?” He laughed.
“James!” I screeched, appalled. “Be serious.”
He stopped laughing and pulled me back where I belonged, plastered against him. “Hmmm.”
“What?” I murmured against him, feeling warm all over.
“You’re funny,” James sighed.
Dean said the same thing.
“And cute.” James continued.
Dean said that too.
“And nice.” James kept going.
I said that to Dean, which he didn’t take too well to. I kind of get why now.
“That’s great, I’m nice.” I said, sarcastically.
“I like nice, a whole lot more than angry bitch.” James stated.
“Then don’t be an asshole, and I won’t have to be an angry bitch. It’s simple.” I explained.
He hugged me tighter. “Okay, deal.”
“Good.” I said, tightening my arms around him.
“I like you a lot, you know that?” James murmured, making my head spin in a euphoric ‘wow this is really happening to me’ kind of way.
I tucked myself further into him and mumbled. “I like you, too.”
“Tomorrow, it’s me and you.” James rubbed his hand across my back. My back tingled at his touch and in response my feelings towards not kissing him dimmed.
A little kiss…. wouldn’t kill anybody and he probably drank some punch, the alcohol would have cleaned his lips of Donna’s DNA, for sure.
But I had to stay strong.
Tomorrow he’d be completely fresh after a shower and a tooth brushing.
“I think it’s time to go back to the party.” I said as my hands unconsciously began rubbing his lower back.
“Guess so,” he hummed into the top of my head and then chuckled. “But if you keep rubbing my back like that, I’m going to need five minutes first.”
“Why?” I asked, confused until my brain pieced it together and my arms dropped from around him. “James!”
He laughed and turned around, adjusting the contents of his pants.
“You should wash your hands too.” I ordered, feeling warmer in an embarrassed sort of way.
“Why? This is because of you.” He laughed, turning on the faucet, washing his hands and then holding them up for inspection. “Happy, baby?”
My face burned, embarrassed at his confession. I grabbed his arm and unlocked the door, opening it. James halted in between the doorframe.
“Where’s your phone now?” he asked.
“Right here.” I patted my back pocket.
“Give it to me, please.” He held out his hand.
I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and placed it in his palm. And before I knew it, his hand curled over mine while his other hand tapped away at the screen. “Don’t delete me again, Fireball.”
“We’ll see if you’re a good boy or not.” I said, trying to pull my hand back. “Now go.”
After giving it one last warm squeeze, my hand was returned along with my phone.
After James exited the hallway, I closed the door and leaned against it, taking deep breaths with my eyes closed. My heart palpitated… and I wished it wouldn’t, because being affected like this was the worst kind of dangerous.
It was a heart and soul kind of dangerous…. and I’d been there before, way back forever ago at fourteen years old.