steven
Head buried in something soft that smelled like strawberries, I curled my arm around a hard pillow and pulled it closer to my body.
It stirred in my arms, cuddling closer to me and whining softly, “What time is it?”
I slowly blinked my eyes open to see Sierra drifting in and out of sleep beside me. My body stiffened, eyes widening slightly. Had we fallen asleep together last night? I pulled myself away from her, sat up, and ran a hand through my hair.
I hadn’t woken up next to a woman in years.
After sliding out of the bed as quietly as I could—because I planned not to wake her this morning—I hopped into the shower to make sense of what had happened last night. I had been completely in my right mind, but I … felt like I hadn’t been. I’d let my emotions take control.
Once I finished and dressed for the day—all before my alarm even went off for the morning—I grabbed my belongings and headed straight for the bedroom door.
“Where are you going?” Sierra murmured from the bed.
I twirled around while tying my tie. “To work. I’ll see you …”
“Monday?” Sierra whispered.
While I didn’t want to wait that long to see her again, I nodded because I didn’t want to push her. She seemed way too riled up this morning, waking up in a different bed than her own. Or maybe I was just fucking making that up because I … I didn’t know how I felt.
Not after last night.
I hadn’t realized it at the time, but I thought I had cried in the tub. And then Sierra had kissed me when I hadn’t expected it, and I … fuck—I ran my hand through my hair again—I’d kissed her back harder than I had kissed anyone before.
My heart swelled, and I gulped. “Yeah, Monday.”
Before I could say something to her that I didn’t want to say aloud, I turned around and headed toward the bedroom door. “You’re welcome to stay here for as long as you want and eat whatever my cook will make you.”
“Are you leaving now?” she asked, sliding out of bed.
Pausing, I stared at the door in front of me and hoped that I could clear my head by the time I made it to my downtown office today. I had meetings with Jeff about investments, networking with Michelle for Plaything Co. sex toys, and had to review plans for a new construction to provide housing for Pittsburgh families in poverty.
I couldn’t be thinking about … someone who wasn’t even supposed to be my submissive.
Especially like this.
“Yes,” I finally said. “I have a meeting at six.”
Lie.
I needed to breathe. I didn’t know what this feeling was inside me. I had never felt it.
“Is it okay if I ride down the elevator with you?” she said, pulling on her clothes from last night. I tilted my head slightly to peer back as her thumb caught in that hole in her sweater. She quickly fixed herself and smiled at me. “I have a long day too.”
“Sure.”
Fuck, why was I so awkward right now?
She must have sensed the sudden tenseness in my voice and paused. “Or if you don’t want me to, I can take the next elevator down.”
“Sorry,” I whispered, opening the door. “Come on.”
“N-no, I’m sorry.” She turned her back to me and hurried to her backpack in the corner of the room, rummaging through it for her phone. “I shouldn’t have stayed over last night. I hate when my roommate’s friends overstay their welcome back at my place.”
“Sierra …” I sighed softly. “I’m not angry with you.”
When she turned back around, her hair fell into her face, shielding her eyes from me. She slipped past me and into the main living area of my high-rise, glancing out the window. “You don’t want to be late. I’ll catch the next elevator.”
“Come with me,” I ordered.
“N-no, it’s fine. I will—”
I seized her chin in my hand and forced her to look at me, but when she did, her eyes were heavy with … tears? Everything I was about to say suddenly bundled in my throat, and I gulped it back down.
She didn’t have to tell me. I knew exactly what that expression meant. I recognized it as one of my own that I’d had every day and nearly every night when I was just a boy, watching my parents drug themselves out.
Alone. Vulnerable. Unwanted.
Taking her hand, I tugged her through the foyer and to the elevator without another word. I didn’t know what to say to her because I didn’t want her to feel like that, but my damn emotions were all over the place this morning.
So, we rode down to the main floor in silence.
“Thank you,” she whispered when we stepped out of the elevator.
“For what?”
“Letting me wash you last night.”
After I guided her through the busy lobby, we stepped onto the morning streets of Pittsburgh. The sky was a white-gray, like it usually was every winter day, the sidewalks bustling with business people dressed in heavy coats and scarfs.
“I missed being able to care for someone,” she said, staring distantly down the street.
“What do you mean?”
“I used to give my little sister baths and make dinner for my family before they …” More tears filled her eyes, and her lip quivered. She bit down on it to stop it from trembling and shook her head, laughing sorrowfully. “Oversharing again.”
“Sierra,” I said, tucking some hair behind her ear, “what is it? What happened?”
A bus pulled up to a stop at the corner, and Sierra grasped the straps of her backpack.
“That’s my bus. I’ll see you on Monday, Professor Patton.” She hurried past me without another look. “Sorry again for overextending my stay.”